"After the play, I wasn't screaming 'he's hurt.' I was screaming 'he's done.'"This was taken from last week's issue of Sports Illustrated, which for some reason unbeknownst to me I still subscribe to.
- Ray Lewis
Gold star to whomever tells me what song that's from. And no Googling, jagoffs. Do this one eau naturale.
Anyways, we've talked about it all week - this Sunday is what we should consider our first true test of the '08 season. We head to the City of Angst Brotherly Love for a high stakes duel with the Killadelphia Eagles. The OTHER dirty birds of the North (original dirty birds of North = Ravens) are 1-1, but have already put up 38 points in two consecutive weeks. Alright, so one of those weeks they had the Rams, against whom even my little sister could put up 38 points. But don't let that fool you into thinking that they don't have an efficient offense.
So this week, I'll be watching for...
1. Lay Down The Law
If there's one thing we don't do well, it's defend those quick passes (you all remember the Patriots killing us slowly with Wes Welker last December). But with Lawrence Timmons patrolling the flat, perhaps we can keep those two or three yard gains to just two or three yards. Sure, Brian Westbrook is shifty. But he's not going to run you over, you know that. So keep your eyes on his chest and as soon as he gets the ball, give him a pop in the mouth to remember (ala last year's hit on Chad Ocho Cinco...and his greeeeeel).
2. Send in the Wreckingball
Ok, I'm a little uneasy even saying this given his fumbling problems and Tomlin's apparent reluctance to use him regularly, but this week, we need to get Rashard Mendenhall involved. The Eagles love to blitz, no secret there. So how do you handle that? Run it down their throats. And not just run it, but run it with the bigger, stronger, Wreckingball. Of course, this is in tandem with the fast one, Willie Parker. Can't have one without the other. If Wreckingball gets going, then start looking for those big plays. Especially because Philly's on a short week after getting pounded for 41 points on Monday. They may be relatively recovered, but they can't be completely 100%.
3. Help Ike, Help You
Sure, the Eagles like to dink and dunk, but make no mistake - they can throw the ball down the field just as easily. And if the dink and dunk method is working, this is even more apropos. Desean Jackson is a fast little bugger. Reminds me of Dante Hall or Devin Hester. I don't have much faith that Ike Taylor or Bryant McFadden can cover him all alone. So they'll need Troy and Ryan Clark to support them as much as possible. If for no other reason than to whisper sweet nothings a little encouragement/wisdom in their ears from time to time.
Other than that, I'll be watching the Filthy Philly crowd to see what kind of antics they can dream up. That should be one of the most entertaining parts of the game, actually. I'm psyched already. They need to start playing these games quicker.
Thoughts? Predictions on score? Can I interest you in a Pat's cheesesteak, perhaps?
And as usual, for the domestically savvy among us, check out TheStarterWife's Friday Football Foodie. This week, Parmesan Crisps, Blue Cheese Potatoes and Chris Cooleys. Mmmm, sounds yummy. I mean, all heterosexual here. Move along, Brady Quinn...
Well, we avoided the unthinkable. If the Browns had won that game, I just might've thrown something at the TV. Can you imagine the shit storm we'd have to endure if god forbid, the currently overhyped incarnation of the Browns finally beat us after losing 16 out of the last 17, including the last nine (now 10) straight? I can. And it wouldn't have been pretty. There's nothing worse than delusional Browns fans thinking they've actually earned something.
Anyways, we did indeed escape with a narrow victory, 10-6, though we pretty much controlled the entire game. Once again, conditions ruined the day and likely some of the game plan. For example, we saw basically (with a couple of exceptions) hide nor hair of Wreckingball. And understandably so. He's had fumbling problems in good conditions. So imagine how nervous Tomlin must've been about putting him in last night. But yeah, despite the weather, a lot of guys stepped up big, including...
1. The "Offensive" Line
I think after last night I can remove the quotes around the word, "Offensive." Because those guys were on their game. Case in point - the Ben to San Antonio 48 (?) yard bomb that Ben threw from deep in our own territory. He had a solid 10 seconds on that one. Add the masterful job Kemoeatu did pulling and you can understand why I am so pleased with this unit. Anyone who doesn't consider voting for them in the poll to your left obviously didn't watch that game last night.
2. Bryant McFadden
Well, I noted on Saturday that with Deshea out, and McFadden looking for a new contract, this was his time to make his case as the starter of the future. Not that there was much doubt. But he came through big, covering Braylon Edwards rather masterfully. He even nabbed a poorly underthrown Derek Anderson pass in the first half that led to the only touchdown of the game. Coincidentally, did anyone else know that ball was going to be picked the moment it left Anderson's hand? I called it literally as it was being thrown. He lobbed that out there and McFadden took full advantage. Bravo, young one. The force seems strong with you.
3. Troy Polamalu
All the evidence you need was the play in which Troy HURDLED TWO OFFENSIVE LINEMAN to diffuse a Jamal Lewis run long before it might've been otherwise. Sure, he didn't make the tackle. But as Domski put it after the game - imagine what those two Offensive Lineman must've been thinking when Polamalu jumped OVER them...complete dumbfoundedness, no doubt. Rendering them rather useless as blockers. Plus, I don't have to remind you that he snagged the interception in the 2nd Quarter that ruined one of Cle-heave-land's (credit: Joey Porter's Pit Bulls) only real drives of the game. This is why Troy Polamalu is invaluable. And thank god he looks like the Troy we know and love. I don't know who that guy was wearing 43 for most of last year. Because it didn't look like the Troy we've seen thus far in '08. Well played, Troy. I guess whatever Christy said to you at Chili's must've hit home.
So all in all, I'm pleased. Under normal conditions, I would've liked to have put up approximately 30 more points on the Clowns. But as I said earlier, a win is a win. I'll take it because of the implications.
That said, we've got the Killadelphia Desert Eagles (.50) next Sunday in Filthadelphia. And we've got a day on them. So let's hope the Cowgirls ride herd on them tonight to wear them out a bit. Then again, if you listen to the media pundits, the Eagles are unstoppable. I mean, they beat the Rams 38-3. And the Rams are clearly a Super Bowl caliber Defense. So we might as well expect to get rained on...yeeeaaaahhhh, right.
Is it wrong that I'm already looking forward to Sunday?
So I ask you all - What did you think of that game? Who's performance did you like/not like? "Special" Teams? What about that cheap shot Shaun Rogers put on Ben? And hey, how awesome would it be if Murdermore (that's Baltimore, in case you hadn't guessed) beat the Gowns next week?
Either way, I think this is worth re-posting for a second look...
I think I'll have some new pics to add after this one...
Rashard "Wreckingball" Mendenhall, and Champion sports wear. It's like Rob Schneider said in Big Daddy, "they go together like lamb and tuna fish."
All kidding aside, Wreckingball may not be flashing any hardware just yet, but he is a Champion in one respect - he's Champion sports wear's newest athlete representative. And not only is this significant because of the obvious correlation, but also because Wreckingball is Champion's first athlete representative in the past 10 years. Clearly they were waiting for a special talent like ol' Rashard.
No, in all seriousness, this is pretty cool for Mendenhall. Champion actually chose him not just for his on-field prowess, but also his fun attitude and his passion for family, friends, music and writing. It's all part of their - "How You Play" - campaign, which will bring you a number of ads/billboards (see image below) in the Pittsburgh area starting this month, and potentially culminate in some national TV exposure for Mendenhall, as the campaign progresses.
Smart choice, Champion. Well played.
In case you're interested - below are some images of Wreckingball looking all badass in Champion gear. If you like what you see, you know what to do...
PS - On a semi-related note - I was hoping to learn who the last Champion athlete representative was, because I happen to own a Barry Foster Champion jersey circa 1993 (not that it's at all related). But alas, I never did find out. Oh well, let speculation abound (in the comments).
So far this week...
1. The Steelers signed Orpheus Roye
2. Chuck Batch had shoulder surgery
3. Troy Polamalu returned to practice
4. Willie Parker stopped giving Wreckingball advice, and
5. Roy Lewis looks to have made a spot for himself on the active roster.
But forget all that, we have a preseason game on Saturday night.
Now, I'm sure you're all still reeling from the comedic goodness (read: sucking royally at life) of the last couple of days, but it's time to focus. Saturday is just two days away and preseason or not, if you're a real Steeler fan, you at least care about how the team fares. So let's discuss this thing, shall we?
Last week I did this in "three things I'll be watching" format. And that seemed to work pretty well for me. As for you all, who knows. Nonetheless, I'm going to go with it again this week.
As for that post title - well, Minnesota really is the god damned Arctic Circle (lest I get corrections in the comments, I'm well aware that Antarctica and the Arctic Circle are not one and the same). I've been to this state, and it's 95% ice, even in August. They're probably out there playing pond hockey right now. Which brings me to the point of all this...which is, they're playing in a dome. What does that mean to the post? Absolutely nothing.
With that, here are the three things I'll be watching for on Saturday...
1. Santonio returning punts
2. Wreckingball in the red zone
3. Justin Hartwig
First up is the great debate - should arguably our best receiver, who struggled readily with it during his first go around, be returning punts or not? For the record, I like Tomlin's suggestion that he might use San Antonio like the 'Skins of old did with Darrell Green (who's trading card I still have for reasons unknown). You know, put him in every now and then just to bust one (hopefully). But aside from that, I don't really think we need Santonio going anywhere near "Special" Teams. I may be wrong (which would make Tecmo wrong as well), but Santonio is going to have a monster year. The last thing I want to see is him regularly returning punts in the face of some of the NFL's most ravenous beasts. Just. Not. Necessary.
Moving on, I'd like to keep at least one eye on Wreckingball's goal line prowess. Obviously we didn't draft him to be a scat back, and he did well last week, but will he show us something again this week? No doubt in my mind. Again, I wasn't in love with the 11 carries for 30 yards stat. But the one stat that really counted for him was the TD. A six yard scamper, showing impressive poise for a guy who's really just a month into his professional career. So I'd like to see Wreckingball continue to demolish goal line Defenses, and Minnesota could be quite a test. Remember who they have up there - Pat Williams, KEVIN Williams, and JARED ALLEN. Not to mention Chad Greenway, EJ Henderson and Darren Sharper behind them. Wreckingball better equip his juggernaut armor and roll through those dudes...or else...something.
Lastly, in continuation of last week, Justin Hartwig with the first team Offense. I didn't really get to see the Buffalo game, so I had nothing tangible to draw from in forming an opinion about him. But after reading further into it, it seems like Mahan is the real starter right now and Tomlin is just evaluating how Hartwig fits with the rest of Big Ben's oxen up front. From a purely uninformed perspective, I've gotta think, "shake things up." Make it Hartwig's job to lose. You obviously brought him in for a reason. The Steelers don't just sign free agents for the hell of it. The guy must have SOME talent. Then again, Sean Mahan was a free agent pickup as well, so...
What do you guys think? Is all this preseason talk just a giant tease or what? Anything you'll be watching for on Saturday? And did anyone hide Steely McBeam's keys? That guy is smashed...
PS - if any of you are in the greater Minneapolis area, or by some odd twist of fate will be there on Saturday, my man Neal Coolong (formerly of the now-defunct, Die Hard Steel) will be in attendance at the game. Or so he tells me. So if you see him out there dancing bare assed in the parking lot by himself, be sure to take a picture and send it to me. That sucker's going on the wall of shame.
So much football. Football everywhere. It's in the trees like the Vietcong. Look, there it is, over there...
Bullshitting with you guys about the Many Faces of Willie Parker, the press conference stylings of Mike Tomlin, and the wonders of Photoshop has been fun. Real fun. But alas, what we've all been craving for the last six and a half months or so has finally arrived - training camp, and the return of Pittsburgh football.
Of course, in the last two days, I've seen way more Steelers news than I can even keep up with. If you can, then please teach me. But let's be honest, the two most important/encouraging/puzzling/troubling and of course, sexy "stories" are...
Big Snack Apparently Did His Nickname Proud
So I guess all that talk about Casey Hampton not being at OTAs might have actually meant something. It seems the already delightfully plump Nose Tackle ate just a few too many twinkies this offseason, because ah...well, he showed up looking "overweight" and failed to complete a conditioning run.
Now, all I'm saying is - the guy's already listed at 325 pounds. How much weight would he have to gain to look "overweight?" Ok, you're right. Not important. Anyways, I'm sure I don't have to tell any of you that the current Defensive Line is thinner than Calista Flockhart circa 1998. And well, Hampton is the anchor of that line. Not that I don't trust Chris Hoke. Any guy that looks that much like Vader has gotta be worth something. But he's no Hampton. Few are. Bottom Line - send treadmills to St. Vincent College, care of Casey Hampton. Also, if you happen to have Richard Simmons and/or Jenny Craig's phone numbers, you should probably go ahead and send those too.
Oh yeah, Troy and Kemoeatu are joining Hampton on the PUP list.
Moving right along...
The Gang's All Here
All picks signed with time to spare. Mendenhall and Sweed are in Latrobe, ready to mix it up. Let's just hope Jeff Reed doesn't get his hooks into them until at least next week.
Not that we really thought there was going to be a holdout. But you never know. So we can all rest a little easier knowing we've got Wreckingball Mendenhall for five years, and Speed Sweed for four. Sounds like four to five years of Offensive fireworks to me.
It's like a wise man once told me - "No guac, let's rock."
Other than that, we'll see how this beast unfolds. I don't imagine there'll be many surprises. But there sure shouldn't be a shortage of things to talk about. So, who's psyched for training camp? Anyone else making the pilgrimage to Latrobe? And most importantly, when are we drinking?
Oh, and as usual, here's a recap of what you missed this weekend while you were busy enjoying the fruits of truly American innovation...
Not exactly good news. Or bad news. Or even interesting news. But news, nevertheless.
In case you missed them, yesterday brought us four separate stories.
Let's begin...
#1 ~ The Rooneys Are Selling The Steelers...
Chyeah...right...and monkeys might fly out of my butt!
As far as I understand it, Chairman Dan (the Man) Rooney and his son, President Art Rooney II are planning to purchase all of the elder Rooney's brothers shares in the team. Wow that was kind of a mouthful. Anyways, apparently the less football-relevant Rooneys want to focus on things that might appeal more to Charles Barkley than Roger Goodell. Namely, gambling. Will this mean slots in Pittsburgh? Only if there is a God...
#2 ~ The Sporting News Knows Their Stuff...
Two, count 'em, two features by the Sporting News yesterday discussing the Steelers. One, aptly titled, "Optimistic Browns better watch out for Big Ben." The other, "Steelers’ burning question: A more pounding ground game?"
As to the First - I applaud the Browns-focused piece for promoting what we've been peddling here at OFTOT for at least three months - tempered enthusiasm. Look, we know how exciting an overweight Defensive Lineman with character questions can be...But get serious. The Super Bowl is won in February, not April or May or June or July. And plus, it's the Browns.
As to the Second - Sounds like this dude has been reading OFTOT.
#3 ~ The Steelers Signed Some Draft Picks...
Not Rashard Mendenhall or Limas Sweed...but Tony Hills and Dennis Dixon. /Yawns. Kidding...ish.
#4 ~ I Guess I Can't Watch Inside The NFL Anymore...
Simms AND Collinsworth in one broadcast? Might as well be Romeo Crennel and Marvin Lewis. Don't expect any love from either tandem. Jesus.
But look guys, if you think discussing these lackluster story lines is boring, try waxing nostalgic about Kelly Holcomb. As a wise man would say, I pity the foo' who has no fonder memory than Kelly Holcomb.
PS - Rashard. Mendenhall.
You hear me, Steeler fans of the internets?
To quote the wise and 100% mentally stable Britney Spears, "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction."
With the addition of Rashard Mendenhall, Limas Sweed and what we will affectionately call "the rest" for now, the Steelers will have a brand new look offensively in 2008. And since Mewelde Moore was added to the roster as a back up for Willie Parker as well as a kick/punt returner, this looks like it might spell the end for Najeh "chocolate softserve in the closet" Davenport. Although the good news is that this would free him up to collaborate with R Kelly on that new single he's been working on. But that's another topic for another time...
Anyways, let's just focus on Mendenhall for a minute. The Steelers' short yardage offense suffered last year due to Davenport's inability to understand that he is not a scat back. However, Mendenhall's ability to run between the tackles and break through the defense allows us more consistency moving the chains AND more options in the red zone. Why did Ben break Terry Bradshaw's single season touchdown record last year? Well, as most Willie Parker fantasy owners will tell you, he had loads of yards, but only reached pay dirt twice. Having a pounder like Mendenhall will create a short yardage threat in the red zone, while opening up plenty of play action opportunities...Red zone running game.......secured! Championship!
So what will Mendenhall's role be in the Steelers' offense in '08? Well, depending on his blocking prowess, he could definitely fit and excel as a 3rd down back. But personally, I'm hoping for much more. Like an intimate encounter over a candlelit dinner with violins and roses and...uh, wait, nevermind...all heterosexual here, thanks. No, in all seriousness, hopefully he will be used similar to Maurice Jones-Drew in Jacksonville, as a sort of a "slash" in his own regard. Jones-Drew can convert shortyardage, play every down, and bust one on you if you give him a lane....I see the same attributes in Mendenhall.
Now that you've heard my take -- How do you guys see Rashard Mendenhall being used? How did you react when he was selected? Where would you draft Mendenhall in fantasy?
And where the hell is Cotter? What is his problem? This blogging business is cake...I don't know what he's crying about all the time. What a vag.
"It broke pretty well for us...We didn't feel like we reached for any positions."Six rounds, seven picks, and I missed all but about three of them. Nonetheless, from what I've heard and read after the fact, Kevin Colbert took it to the bank, and we picked up a rather noteworthy stable of picks.
- Kevin Colbert
