What's That, You Say?

Injury report day for the Steelers.

Here's the diagnosis...

Troy's got a strained calf, but it should not limit him on Sunday.

Justin Hartwig, who the Post-Gazette referred to as Jeff Hartwig, which embarrassingly marked the first time I actually made the connection between his name and Jeff Hartings' name, also injured his knee, but it too should not limit him Sunday.


Still, grrrr...a little...

Looks like Tomlin agrees.

Speaking of Clowns...

"I know Coach [Romeo] Crennel. They won't blink because they're professionals. They're good at what they do so based on what happened to them, it will be a winning edge for them...They will come ready to play. We expect that on Sunday night."

- Mike Tomlin

Clowns, Frowns, Gowns, perhaps you've heard that these jokers are the fad pick to win the AFC North this season. Nay, the AFC as a whole. They're destined for a Super Bowl, or so you might think if you asked many pundits and/or Browns fans this preseason.

But we know better.

I've pussyfooted around this all week for no particular reason. But lest I not remind you - it's Browns week! We are but a mere 56 hours from another exciting matchup with the recently-lauded Browns and their "new look Defense," starring Shaun Rogers and Corey Williams. Not to mention their "high-powered" Offense, fueled by Derek Anderson, Braylon Edwards, Donte Stallworth, Kellen Winslow Jr., Jamal Lewis, and undoubtedly crystal meth. Yeah, "high-powered." Right....

Anyways, all kidding aside, this should be a great game. The Browns seem like, at least on paper, a more worthy adversary than they have been for the last, oh, 10 years or so. They are apparently still riding high off of last years success (read: a winning record) and feel poised to supplant our Steelers as the division's most formidable foe.

Throwing caution to the wind, they traded away a sizable chunk of their valuable draft picks, not to mention the second Cornerback on their depth chart to get pass rushers Shaun Rogers and Corey Williams. And they gave Donte Stallworth a rather hefty payday, hoping that he'd add a threat to the already fruitful passing game. So this "rivalry" has even more renewed interest than last year.

If you can't get psyched for this game, you're clearly not a Steelers fan.

Now, let's briefly discuss a few things to watch on Sunday, namely...

1. Shaun Rogers vs. Justin Hartwig
Much noise has been made about Shaun Rogers' arrival as savior of the Browns D line. Personally, I don't see it. I mean, you gave up a draft pick (3rd round I believe) and Leigh Bodden to get a guy who's had question marks basically since he stepped on NFL turf? But whatever. All I have to say is, the Cowboys rushed for 162 yards last week, each of their THREE running backs averaging at least 5 yards per carry. Some savior, huh? Do they think Willie Parker, Rashard Mendenhall and Mewelde Moore will be any easier? Dumb question, of course they do, they're Browns fans...irrationality knows no bounds in Cleveland.

2. Ike Taylor vs. Braylon Edwards
Donte Stallworth or no, Braylon Edwards is still the biggest weapon on the Browns Offense. The good news is, last week the Cowboys limited him to just 2 catches for 14 yards. The bad news is, that was last week. Certainly not enough reason for me to believe it will happen again this week. So Face Me Ike is gonna have to be on his Face Me Game. Is he up to the task? Well last week he did a pretty good job on Andre Johnson. So that's promising. But let's be honest, if the D line and Linebackers play like they did last week, we won't even need to worry about Stone Hands Ike.

3. The Steelers vs. Cleveland's Enthusiasm
Make no mistake, this is going to be a high energy game. The Browns haven't beaten the Steelers since 2003. And with all the hype surrounding their squad this year, Browns fans will likely be as unruly as ever. Plus, the Browns themselves recognize that we are the team they need to beat in order to be part of the conversation on league dominance. But we cannot let this unbridled enthusiasm get us so riled up that we start playing undisciplined. Keep focus. Sack Derek Anderson 10 times, put up approximately 102 points, and burn that stadium to the ground. Done.

So of course I'm going to be going out of my mind from the time I wake up until the 8 PM kickoff. And in my heart of homer hearts, I think they'll crush the Clowns. But at the same time, I recognize that this will not necessarily be a walk in the park. All I can say is, we had better beat them on Sunday or we'll never hear the god damned end of it. Am I wrong?

I ask you all - What/who will you be watching? Predictions on the score? And is Kellen Winslow as soft as Joey Porter always said he was? (see below)...


Oh, and for you weekend warriors, TSW has a tasty treat for you this weekend - Chicken Yakitori, Sparkling Sake, and Flat Earth Chips. So check it out and try something new.

Also, for the record, Steely McGnome has spoken and he has predicted a Steelers victory, 34-13. So we've got that going for us...which is nice.

And finally, keep your eyes peeled for Tecmo and Cotter's Pre-Game Show Extravaganza, which should be up sometime on Sunday morning...as well as Tobiathan's Liveblog Extravaganza - come and discuss the game as it's happening while OFTOT friend, Tobiathan liveblogs every drive.

Two Days 'Til Antarctica...

So far this week...
1. The Steelers signed Orpheus Roye
2. Chuck Batch had shoulder surgery
3. Troy Polamalu returned to practice
4. Willie Parker stopped giving Wreckingball advice, and
5. Roy Lewis looks to have made a spot for himself on the active roster.

But forget all that, we have a preseason game on Saturday night.

Now, I'm sure you're all still reeling from the comedic goodness (read: sucking royally at life) of the last couple of days, but it's time to focus. Saturday is just two days away and preseason or not, if you're a real Steeler fan, you at least care about how the team fares. So let's discuss this thing, shall we?

Last week I did this in "three things I'll be watching" format. And that seemed to work pretty well for me. As for you all, who knows. Nonetheless, I'm going to go with it again this week.

As for that post title - well, Minnesota really is the god damned Arctic Circle (lest I get corrections in the comments, I'm well aware that Antarctica and the Arctic Circle are not one and the same). I've been to this state, and it's 95% ice, even in August. They're probably out there playing pond hockey right now. Which brings me to the point of all this...which is, they're playing in a dome. What does that mean to the post? Absolutely nothing.

With that, here are the three things I'll be watching for on Saturday...

1. Santonio returning punts
2. Wreckingball in the red zone
3. Justin Hartwig

First up is the great debate - should arguably our best receiver, who struggled readily with it during his first go around, be returning punts or not? For the record, I like Tomlin's suggestion that he might use San Antonio like the 'Skins of old did with Darrell Green (who's trading card I still have for reasons unknown). You know, put him in every now and then just to bust one (hopefully). But aside from that, I don't really think we need Santonio going anywhere near "Special" Teams. I may be wrong (which would make Tecmo wrong as well), but Santonio is going to have a monster year. The last thing I want to see is him regularly returning punts in the face of some of the NFL's most ravenous beasts. Just. Not. Necessary.

Moving on, I'd like to keep at least one eye on Wreckingball's goal line prowess. Obviously we didn't draft him to be a scat back, and he did well last week, but will he show us something again this week? No doubt in my mind. Again, I wasn't in love with the 11 carries for 30 yards stat. But the one stat that really counted for him was the TD. A six yard scamper, showing impressive poise for a guy who's really just a month into his professional career. So I'd like to see Wreckingball continue to demolish goal line Defenses, and Minnesota could be quite a test. Remember who they have up there - Pat Williams, KEVIN Williams, and JARED ALLEN. Not to mention Chad Greenway, EJ Henderson and Darren Sharper behind them. Wreckingball better equip his juggernaut armor and roll through those dudes...or else...something.

Lastly, in continuation of last week, Justin Hartwig with the first team Offense. I didn't really get to see the Buffalo game, so I had nothing tangible to draw from in forming an opinion about him. But after reading further into it, it seems like Mahan is the real starter right now and Tomlin is just evaluating how Hartwig fits with the rest of Big Ben's oxen up front. From a purely uninformed perspective, I've gotta think, "shake things up." Make it Hartwig's job to lose. You obviously brought him in for a reason. The Steelers don't just sign free agents for the hell of it. The guy must have SOME talent. Then again, Sean Mahan was a free agent pickup as well, so...

What do you guys think? Is all this preseason talk just a giant tease or what? Anything you'll be watching for on Saturday? And did anyone hide Steely McBeam's keys? That guy is smashed...

PS - if any of you are in the greater Minneapolis area, or by some odd twist of fate will be there on Saturday, my man Neal Coolong (formerly of the now-defunct, Die Hard Steel) will be in attendance at the game. Or so he tells me. So if you see him out there dancing bare assed in the parking lot by himself, be sure to take a picture and send it to me. That sucker's going on the wall of shame.

Well It Certainly Is Offensive...

Forty-seven sacks later the Steelers lose all-world Guard Alan Faneca to the New York Jets and.....................the projected Offensive Line, according to Ed Bouchette, includes Marvel Smith and Willie Colon at Tackle, Chris Kemo-EAT-U and Kendall Simmons at Guard, and Justin Hartwig at Center.

Comforting?

In other Steelers news....

1. Jeff Reed Has Bitch Tits [Sports by Brooks]
2. Steelers' O-Line Coach Feels Kemoeatu Is Ready [Post-Gazette]
3. Big Ben Makes It Rain On Some Bitches, Literally... [Post-Gazette]
4. A New Threat In The Bengals Backfield? [MJD]
5. Congrats To The Sexiest Woman In The World [FHM Online]

Someone Owes Sean Mahan A Big Thank You...

Nothing special here - just a couple signings to report. Both new Center Justin Hartwig and legacy Longsnapper Greg Warren to be exact.

Like I said, nothing really spectacular here.

However I do think, as the title of this post suggests, that Hartwig should probably send Sean Mahan a Thank You card. Do you think Hallmark makes one that says "Thank You for Sucking At Your Job?" I mean they do have a card for every occasion and recipient...

Anybody out there? Bueller?

UPDATE: The Steelers also announced this morning that they have agreed to terms with former Tampa and Indy DE Anthony "Booger" McFarland. Still no word on whether or not they're paying him in McDonald's Big Macs...cause I believe that's about all we have left in terms of compensation.

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Steelers Offensive Line Shuffle Continues As Hartwig Signs [Associated Press]
Steelers Sign One of Their Own [Post-Gazette]
McFarland Agrees to Deal [Post-Gazette]