Well, At Least The Browns Lost...

Full game recap post to come. But let me just be the first to say (here, that is) - that sucked. At no point in that game did I feel like we had any idea what we were doing on Offense. And one thing's for sure, at least 3/5 of the Offensive Line didn't either. Thank you very much Willie Colon, Kendall Simmons and Chris Kemoeatu (I'm real disappointed in you, dude). Oh, and Ben...listen man, you should probably learn to get rid of the ball quicker. I mean, I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

Until I get my act together, feel free to express your frustrations in the comments.

PS - Before I forget, Tobiathan did an excellent job liveblogging this game! I'm sorry it was a loss, because he probably didn't enjoy it as much as he could have if we won. But he's a master liveblogger. If you didn't catch it, be sure to stop by next Sunday. The dude is like Al Michaels AND John Madden rolled into one (in a good way, though).

But yeah, see subject line for a silver lining to this black cloud.

/I'll just be over here in the fetal position crying if you need me...

[Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show - Episode 3

Our sincerest apologies for the delay. We were up until 3 AM last night taping and cutting, and consequently got a late start today. But here it is, for better or for worse. Check it out and let us know what you think in the comments.

AND let's not forget...let's not forget dude, the outtake reel? I mean...that ain't legal either...


[Unnamed] Steelers Show [PSAMP]

OFTOT Week In Review...

Seriously, there's nothing worse than having to listen to someone who has no idea how to play an instrument, play an instrument. Particularly, the guitar. I've played the guitar since I was 12. So while I'm no Hendrix, I know a thing or two about plucking the ol' six string. Problem is, these idiots outside my window do not. And they're playing louder than Metallica to boot. With possibly the worst accompanying singer since Jack White. Honestly, I'm not sure if it's a dude or a chick. But I do know that he-she/she-he is literally, awful. MELODY FAIL!

Consequently I'm readying a giant water balloon full of red jello as we speak. Watch out dickface, this Cotterbomb has got your name on it. Knock off that racket or I'm gonna come down there and make you eat that thing.

Anyways, in case you missed any of this week's magnificence, allow me to recap for you...

1. Tec and I continued our streak of idiocy, two weeks and counting...

2. All is still right with the world...

3. Brett Favre has less commitment to winning than the Bengals...

4. Brett Keisel - what's up with his life?

5. I primed you on how to properly incite an Eagles fan...

6. This Sunday, two beers enter, one beer leaves...THUNDERDOME!

7. I applauded Chris Cooley's revelation...

8. We gained some insider perspective from the man who once ate a 12-inch chili cheese dog in three bites...

9. I revealed my music nerdiness...

10. We made some prominent, new friends...

11. What will YOU be watching for this weekend?

And, as usual, a few programming notes for you...

First, Tecmo and I will be dropping Episode 3 of [Unnamed] Steelers Show on you all, Sunday morning. Hopefully around Noon. So be sure to check back for that.

Second, now that we've ironed out the details, Tobiathan will be here to liveblog Sunday's game against the Iggles. If you've ever followed a Tobiathan liveblog in the comments, you'll already know that this is not to be missed. And it's a good opportunity to talk about the game with the rest of us as it happens.

Lastly, should anyone be attending this Sunday's game in Illadelph [Halflife], see if you can't meet up with reader Matt. He'll be the one hanging from the rafters, no doubt.

Other than that, Cotter is off duty. But don't worry, 10 bucks says I post something later anyhow. Cheers and enjoy your respective weekends! Commence drinking...NOW.

Let Me Clip, Your Dirty Wings...

Gold star to whomever tells me what song that's from. And no Googling, jagoffs. Do this one eau naturale.

Anyways, we've talked about it all week - this Sunday is what we should consider our first true test of the '08 season. We head to the City of Angst Brotherly Love for a high stakes duel with the Killadelphia Eagles. The OTHER dirty birds of the North (original dirty birds of North = Ravens) are 1-1, but have already put up 38 points in two consecutive weeks. Alright, so one of those weeks they had the Rams, against whom even my little sister could put up 38 points. But don't let that fool you into thinking that they don't have an efficient offense.

So this week, I'll be watching for...

1. Lay Down The Law
If there's one thing we don't do well, it's defend those quick passes (you all remember the Patriots killing us slowly with Wes Welker last December). But with Lawrence Timmons patrolling the flat, perhaps we can keep those two or three yard gains to just two or three yards. Sure, Brian Westbrook is shifty. But he's not going to run you over, you know that. So keep your eyes on his chest and as soon as he gets the ball, give him a pop in the mouth to remember (ala last year's hit on Chad Ocho Cinco...and his greeeeeel).

2. Send in the Wreckingball
Ok, I'm a little uneasy even saying this given his fumbling problems and Tomlin's apparent reluctance to use him regularly, but this week, we need to get Rashard Mendenhall involved. The Eagles love to blitz, no secret there. So how do you handle that? Run it down their throats. And not just run it, but run it with the bigger, stronger, Wreckingball. Of course, this is in tandem with the fast one, Willie Parker. Can't have one without the other. If Wreckingball gets going, then start looking for those big plays. Especially because Philly's on a short week after getting pounded for 41 points on Monday. They may be relatively recovered, but they can't be completely 100%.

3. Help Ike, Help You
Sure, the Eagles like to dink and dunk, but make no mistake - they can throw the ball down the field just as easily. And if the dink and dunk method is working, this is even more apropos. Desean Jackson is a fast little bugger. Reminds me of Dante Hall or Devin Hester. I don't have much faith that Ike Taylor or Bryant McFadden can cover him all alone. So they'll need Troy and Ryan Clark to support them as much as possible. If for no other reason than to whisper sweet nothings a little encouragement/wisdom in their ears from time to time.

Other than that, I'll be watching the Filthy Philly crowd to see what kind of antics they can dream up. That should be one of the most entertaining parts of the game, actually. I'm psyched already. They need to start playing these games quicker.

Thoughts? Predictions on score? Can I interest you in a Pat's cheesesteak, perhaps?

And as usual, for the domestically savvy among us, check out TheStarterWife's Friday Football Foodie. This week, Parmesan Crisps, Blue Cheese Potatoes and Chris Cooleys. Mmmm, sounds yummy. I mean, all heterosexual here. Move along, Brady Quinn...

Boldly Going Where No Steelers Fan Has Gone Before...

Why, inside the mind of an Eagles fan, of course.

It all began with a punch in the nuts. I met Silky Johnson back in the year of our lord, two thousand and two, October I believe. It was clear from that moment on that we'd be friends. Of course, the punch in the nuts actually came later. Saint Patty's day of 2003, it was. And there's a story, but it isn't a good one. So I won't bore you.

Anyways, Silky is indeed one of my best friends. One of the only people in the world that knows just about everything bad I've ever done in my life. Which, of course means that should I become President, I pretty much have to put him on my cabinet. That's ok though, because I once saw him eat a footlong chili cheese dog in three bites. So I'm sure we can find a place for him as Secretary of Binge Eating/Being A Sloppy Mess.

But besides being a close friend, you all know, he is a lowly Eagles fan. And not just a fan, but an Eagles fan BLOGGER to boot. So in anticipation of Sunday's game, he and I decided it'd be fun to fire five questions at each other regarding our respective teams. What you'll read below is the sad sad result. Just keep in mind that you're dealing with a couple of certifiable idiots here. We're no experts, nor do we claim to be. Hell, we're bloggers. You get the idea.

What you see here are Silky's answers to MY burning questions about the Eagles. If you'd like to read MY responses to HIS burning questions, head on over to I Love It When A Plan Comes Together and peruse the epic fail that is my attempt at humor.

Without further ado...

Question 1 ~ Is Andy Reid's mustache the source of his almighty power? And relatedly, how would you assess his offensive play calling in the absence of Kevin Curtis and Reggie Brown?

Sadly, I cannot answer that question, for I am a legitimate member of the media (mediocre blogger). Coach Reid does not share such insight with us. Perhaps only someone within his inner circle can answer that one. I can tell you that some speculate that it comes from his power belt that he keeps tucked safely away. Others believe that his power is derived from the Reid family pharmacy.

As to the assessment of his play calling in the absence of Kevin Curtis Reggie Brown. I would have to say it's business as usual. We are going to throw the football. Throwing first, run second is standard operating procedure in the West Coast offense. It doesn't matter who is playng wide receiver, Andy Reid is still going to throw the football. Think about who has come through Philly as a receiver, beside T.O. Not a lot of house hold names huh? The only time that he has deviated from this was in 2006, and Jeff Garcia was our quarterback. He doesn't have the arm that McNabb has, so Reid reliquinshed control of the play calling to Marty Mornhinweg. Marty was Garcia's offensive coordinator in San Francisco.

Question 2 ~ Jim Johnson - How old is he, really? And also – Is Brian Dawkins getting too old? (PS – Tobiathan thinks so)

His NFL bio sites [sic] his birth year as 1941, but most historians place it closer to the end of the Jurassic period (Dinosaurs people). This is based on carbon dating naturally.

Is Brian Dawkins too Old? Well (Tobiathan, Cotter), No, is my answer. Is he still Weapon-X, an intimidating safety, That's debatable. I just posted about this yesterday. The biggest thing is that he isn't as fast as he was, say 3 years ago. He's got to make fewer mental mistakes in pass coverage, but pass coverage is not the only objective for the Free Safety position. The Free Safety needs to be strong in stopping the run. Brian Dawkins, is still great against the run. He's still able to make plays in the passing game as well. He leveled the boom on Martellus Bennett in Monday nights game. I refuse to believe that he is done. Roy Williams has always been a liability in pass coverage, and he was still a Pro Bowler last year. Perhaps the Eagles need to redefine his role. Dawkins doesn't believe that he's done either. My wish was that the Eagles drafted Kenny Phillips from Miami in the draft. He could have been the year as his understudy.

Question 3 ~ Brian Westbrook – Is there anything he can't do? How many TDs do you forecast he'll have by seasons end?

On a football field, I don't think so. While at Villanova he lost to the University of Delaware, by like one point. It was something like Delaware 28- Brian Westbrook 27. I expect Westbrook to score 40 touchdowns this season, 18 in week 15 against the Browns, and 12 in week 6 against the 49ers. Seriously though he could easily score 25 TDs.

Question 4 ~ How would you describe being an Eagles fan? What's it like? What's the mindset? What's the camaraderie like?

Have you seen the movie, "The Prestige?" In the movie there is a story about a sailor who almost drowned. He described it as being "Agony". Being an Eagles fan is agony. We are under tremendous pressure. We play in arguably the toughest division in the NFL (NFC East). Our divisional counterparts all have Super Bowl victories. The desire to win a Super Bowl, and compete in our division is stressful. We feel as if we are under constant pressure. We love our Eagles, and have high expectations of them. Compound that with our frustrations, and defensive posture makes us a Molotov cocktail so to speak. Our camaraderie, it's like having an alcoholic father, who's abusive. He's a great time, but get him in a bad mood, and he may take it out on his own flesh and blood. In the end, I know he's my dad, and he knows that he's my father. We still love one another!

Question 5 ~ Lastly - What advice would you give Steelers fans planning on attending this game? Additionally, would you like to apologize in advance for any shenanigans your Eagles loving brethren may engage in on Sunday?

Yeah, Here are some things to avoid saying:

1. Responding to hecklers with the following: We have (fill in the blank) Super Bowl rings. How many do you have? Any variation of this is unacceptable either.
2. Calling us the weakest team in the NFC.
3. Your fans are the worst, You boo'ed the drafting of McNabb, You threw snowballs at Santa Clause.

These utterances could warrant additional heckling, or beat down.

Under no circumstances are displays of Cowboy affiliation accepted. This will get your ass kicked!

NO, I do not want to apologize for any future transgressions that my brethren may engage in. We have a mystique that we must maintain. Take a trip down 95, come see for yourself.

That friends, is The Immortal Silky Johnson's guide to the Killadelphia Eagles. And in closing, I'd like to point out that Silky is also highly skilled in sleeping on my floor. Here's the visual evidence...

Not the first time and certainly not the last. I love this guy.

PS - I found it painfully ironic that I was watching the movie, "Invincible" whilst writing this post. Consequently, I think I have some issues my therapist has yet to iron out...add 'em to the list.

The Battle for PA...

Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. Miles apart, literally and figuratively. We eat Primanti's and drink Iron City. They eat Pat's cheesesteaks (with whiz) and drink Yuengling. But for all of our differences, we're really not so different. At least in some respects.

For instance, contrary to how it may seem, we're both from Pennsylvania. I mean, that's gotta count for something, right? Also, we both know what it's like to experience the futility of a Major League Baseball franchise. And then who can forget, we're both from Pennsylvania. Yeah, I got nothin'...

Our football teams, however, while similar on Defense, diverge when it comes to Offense. The Eagles run that West Coast style and our Steelers, well, we like to run the ball. Philly relies almost exclusively on Donovan McNabb and Brian Westbrook. Sure, it's nice when Greg Lewis, Hank Baskett, and most recently, Desean Jackson can be a major factor. But that's more the exception than the rule.

Brian Westbrook is a running back (I guess), a wide receiver, a tight end and though I've never seen it, it wouldn't surprise me if they let him throw a few rocks as well. He's currently 14th overall in rushing yards, while part of a 3-way tie for 1st in rushing TDs. And I don't have the numbers on it, but I'm willing to bet he's high up on the list for all purpose yards. Not to mention front of the line for the kiddie coaster.

Then, there's Donovan McNabb. He's primarily a pocket, high percentage passer. But a damn good one at that. Behind a line that could make even Tommy Maddox look like Joe Montana (ok, now I'm talking crazy). Through two games this season, he's 2nd in the league in passing yards, 6th in the league in QB rating (a respectable 114.1), and part of a six way tie for 2nd in the league in passing TDs.

Of course, in case you hadn't checked recently, Big Ben is #1 in QB rating, tied for 3rd in TD passes, and um, 20th in passing yards. But never mind that. Willie Parker is 3rd in the league in rushing yards, whilst also tied for 1st in rushing TDs thanks to that disgusting game he had against the Texans.

But what worries me is this - we're built to stop the run first, blitz second (hmm, maybe those are one and the same for us), and defend the pass, last. The Eagles hardly do anything you could call "running the ball," and their passing game tends to favor quick passes, which just may allow McNabb to avoid a blitz and exploit one of our bigger weaknesses.

Anyways, I think what I'm getting at is - unlike our first two, this one's going to be a real game. And none too soon if you ask me. We have played pattycake with a couple of 1st graders these past two weeks. Now, it's time to tango with some bigger fish. In fact, if you believe the media pundits, a Super Bowl contender. Or something like that.

So we've already talked about it a little bit in the comments this week, but what do you guys think? Formidable foe? Worthy opponent? Or just next in line to get popped in the mouth?

Oh yeah, and it sounds like Deshea's going to miss his 2nd game in a row. Bryant McFadden better wear his big boy pants again. He's on notice.

Today In Responsible Reporting...

No. That is wrong. The Steelers are 2-0, and the Browns are 0-2.

Hey amNY, I noticed you didn't get the Giants or Jets records wrong.

What gives?

[Disclaimer: Yes, I know what at least one of you is going to say - this went to print before our game was finished. But in fact, this is from Tuesday's edition. Hence, the note at the bottom about the Eagles-Cowboys game.]

PS - Looks like it's just a sprain, no separation. Big Ben will ride again...I mean, forget I said that...you know what I mean.

AFC North Headline of the Day...

Hey, remember that time Tecmo asked me how long I thought it would be before Cleveland starting calling for Brady Quinn? Well, that time arrived even sooner than expected (though to be fair, Tec did call this one).

Now, I chided Derek Anderson plenty the other day for those untimely interceptions. But he's not altogether terrible. I mean, they could be stuck with Charlie Frye still (or Tim Couch).

Personally, I'd give him at least another game or two. It isn't his fault Braylon Edwards couldn't catch a cold and Jamal Lewis is older than the Bible. Sounds like Browns fan logic, though.

Benching your Pro Bowl alternate QB after two games = CHAMPIONSHIP!

And we can't have a Brady Quinn headline without this fine handiwork...


But if you're still thirsting for more, here are some fun links for you...

Man, WHO doesn't want to remember Barry Foster? [On 205th St.]

Mike Tomlin, moonlighting as Shawty Lo? [This Is God Given]

Desean Jackson = Plaxico Burress? (my words, not theirs) [The 700 Level]

Joe Starkey golf clap for Tomlin/Arians (scroll to 4th bullet point) [Trib]

Hell hath no fury like Andy Reid [scorned?] [The Sports Hernia]

I had this story idea literally 43 minutes before this was posted...and I have the email to prove it [The Big Lead]

It's Always Sunny In Filthadelphia...

Anyone who's ever come in contact with an Eagles fan knows that they're an excitable bunch (read: bunch of ex-cons). In general, they have very strong opinions, peppered with just the right amount of profanity and references to the movie, Rocky. Believe me, I went to college with them. Some of my best friends are Eagles fans (yes, I'm in therapy). They are an irrational people.

So poking them into a fit of rage sure ain't difficult. But it can be fun.

And being that it's Eagles week, I'd like to give you 10 things you can say that, in theory, should push a Birds fan over the line. You know, just in case the occasion ever presents itself [this weekend].

Let's begin...

1. TEEE-OOOO TO, TO, TO!
2. Didn't Marky Mark play for the Eagles?
3. Should I get cheese or whiz?
4. Sports hernia? Whatever, McNabb's feelings were just hurt.
5. Hey, why's everybody booing?
6. Mike Mamula, what's he up to?
7. XXXIX, they won that one, right?
8. So, how many people do you think have been shot today?
9. Oh, so you're responsible for Mike Golic!
10. Go Cowboys!

Even still, for all their assholishness, they'll probably be good hosts this weekend. I'd bring a taser or some pepper spray just to be sure, though.

Yo, Adrian!

Thoughts, anyone?

This Oughta Be Fun...

Brett Keisel reportedly out for two months.

So get used to a heavy dose of Nick Eason, Travis Kirschke, and dare I say, Orpheus Roye?

Too bad neither Mike Humpal nor Tony Hills can play DE. How's that decision not to draft any D-lineman looking now?

Balls.

AFC North Headline(s) of the Day...

Browns headline overload!

Ah yes, in the wake of what proved to be a very disappointing loss for the Browns, the Cleveland media has gone wild with gems like the headline above and the headlines below.

A 44. Yep, that sounds about right. I mean, what did you expect? Conditions notwithstanding, Braylon Edwards looked a little like Nate Washington and his second receiver was some dude named Steptoe?

Plus, Jamal Lewis looked like a waste of a 3-year contract extension and Romeo Crennel looked like Jim Zorn (the Zorn of Week 1, of course...and the playcalling, not the physical characteristics...obviously).

Which provides ample segue into the following auxiliary headlines of the day...






But if these ain't enough, feel free to peruse the following links at your leisure...

I would've rather seen a Dallas Cowboy, but whatevs [Playing the Field]

Browns fans give us the ol' one fingered salute [PSAMP]

Don't worry, I support you, Ron Cook [Post-Gazette]

Romeo Crennel learned more than we thought from Belicheat [PFT]

Oh, Jake The Snake. Say it ain't so... [TMZ]

Here's an apt analogy - the Browns likened to Chili...I mean they DO both involve shit. But somehow, I don't think that's what Lori meant [Hockey, Football and Stiletto Shoes]

That Was Just Cleveland Being Cleveland...

Well, we avoided the unthinkable. If the Browns had won that game, I just might've thrown something at the TV. Can you imagine the shit storm we'd have to endure if god forbid, the currently overhyped incarnation of the Browns finally beat us after losing 16 out of the last 17, including the last nine (now 10) straight? I can. And it wouldn't have been pretty. There's nothing worse than delusional Browns fans thinking they've actually earned something.

Anyways, we did indeed escape with a narrow victory, 10-6, though we pretty much controlled the entire game. Once again, conditions ruined the day and likely some of the game plan. For example, we saw basically (with a couple of exceptions) hide nor hair of Wreckingball. And understandably so. He's had fumbling problems in good conditions. So imagine how nervous Tomlin must've been about putting him in last night. But yeah, despite the weather, a lot of guys stepped up big, including...

1. The "Offensive" Line
I think after last night I can remove the quotes around the word, "Offensive." Because those guys were on their game. Case in point - the Ben to San Antonio 48 (?) yard bomb that Ben threw from deep in our own territory. He had a solid 10 seconds on that one. Add the masterful job Kemoeatu did pulling and you can understand why I am so pleased with this unit. Anyone who doesn't consider voting for them in the poll to your left obviously didn't watch that game last night.

2. Bryant McFadden
Well, I noted on Saturday that with Deshea out, and McFadden looking for a new contract, this was his time to make his case as the starter of the future. Not that there was much doubt. But he came through big, covering Braylon Edwards rather masterfully. He even nabbed a poorly underthrown Derek Anderson pass in the first half that led to the only touchdown of the game. Coincidentally, did anyone else know that ball was going to be picked the moment it left Anderson's hand? I called it literally as it was being thrown. He lobbed that out there and McFadden took full advantage. Bravo, young one. The force seems strong with you.

3. Troy Polamalu
All the evidence you need was the play in which Troy HURDLED TWO OFFENSIVE LINEMAN to diffuse a Jamal Lewis run long before it might've been otherwise. Sure, he didn't make the tackle. But as Domski put it after the game - imagine what those two Offensive Lineman must've been thinking when Polamalu jumped OVER them...complete dumbfoundedness, no doubt. Rendering them rather useless as blockers. Plus, I don't have to remind you that he snagged the interception in the 2nd Quarter that ruined one of Cle-heave-land's (credit: Joey Porter's Pit Bulls) only real drives of the game. This is why Troy Polamalu is invaluable. And thank god he looks like the Troy we know and love. I don't know who that guy was wearing 43 for most of last year. Because it didn't look like the Troy we've seen thus far in '08. Well played, Troy. I guess whatever Christy said to you at Chili's must've hit home.

So all in all, I'm pleased. Under normal conditions, I would've liked to have put up approximately 30 more points on the Clowns. But as I said earlier, a win is a win. I'll take it because of the implications.

That said, we've got the Killadelphia Desert Eagles (.50) next Sunday in Filthadelphia. And we've got a day on them. So let's hope the Cowgirls ride herd on them tonight to wear them out a bit. Then again, if you listen to the media pundits, the Eagles are unstoppable. I mean, they beat the Rams 38-3. And the Rams are clearly a Super Bowl caliber Defense. So we might as well expect to get rained on...yeeeaaaahhhh, right.

Is it wrong that I'm already looking forward to Sunday?

So I ask you all - What did you think of that game? Who's performance did you like/not like? "Special" Teams? What about that cheap shot Shaun Rogers put on Ben? And hey, how awesome would it be if Murdermore (that's Baltimore, in case you hadn't guessed) beat the Gowns next week?

Either way, I think this is worth re-posting for a second look...

I think I'll have some new pics to add after this one...