Ravens Week, Day 2 - Not Much To Report...

Nothing to do with this post, if you could call it that, but I thought I made this picture look kind of bad ass...

So, winning is great. Wonderful. Excellent. But, you know what the pox on this year's playoff situation is? Well, besides the fact that we drew the Ravens; the fact that OFTOT apparently now has at least one militant Anonymous Eagles fan commenter (troll). Fantastic.

This one's for you, Anonymous Eagles fan...

Anyways, I'm NOT going to talk about Anonymous Eagles fan commenters today.

I just have a few thoughts for this morning. Namely...

Ray Lewis is mildly disturbed batshit crazy.
Have I blown your mind yet?

'Cause I don't mean "Silverback" batshit crazy...


I mean like "eats babies" batshit crazy...

It's bad enough that the Ravens defense does not even exist in the same reality as everyone else. This assbag fanning the fire just makes it worse.

He may be getting long in the tooth, but anyone who was once indicted for murder, attended the University of Miami and wears more bandannas than Greg Lloyd will always be someone to fear. You'll remember he ended Wreckingball's season back in September? Well, I just re-watched the beginning of that game and during warm-ups he said "somebody's getting knocked out tonight." Could easily mean nothing. But, then again...


You just know he's going to have the Ratbirds ready to decapitate Big Ben. One missed block and I fear a little for Ben's continued functioning as a human being. Not to mention, the Ravens THRIVE off of turnovers. I hope we'll be ready for the heat, because I'm willing to bet they'll be bringing it.

That said, [eff] Ray Lewis!

Any ideas as to what this is about = hit onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com

And I thought Snoop was a Steelers fan?

Anyways...

Big Ben had a "spinal" concussion.
My feeble brain knows very little of what this means. But it sounds serious. Well, I guess any injury involving the word "spinal" is probably pretty serious.

So apparently this thing rendered his arms numb after he was hit? Numb, but I guess movable? Considering he gave us the heroic thumbs up and all...

Eh, I'm no doctor...

Just listen to this...

"Earlier this season, Baltimore Ravens safety Dawan Landry sustained a spinal cord concussion in a Sept. 21 game against Cleveland when the crown of his helmet struck the knee of running back Jamal Lewis. He didn't play the rest of the season and was eventually placed on injured reserve."

Wow. Really. Hmmmm. So Ben must be like...[/looks left, then right and whispers] - Superman...

Man vs. Wild is quality television.
I love this shit. I can't explain it. Call me crazy, but I just think it's extremely entertaining to watch some ballsy British idiot purposefully put himself in positions that might seriously jeopardize his existence on this Earth.

Last night I was watching it, though, and my boy Bear Grylis said something I thought was pretty funny. He was out in South Dakota and stuck in a lightning storm. His advice?

"You wanna stay away from places like mountaintops..."

And I'm stopping it right there. Honestly, Bear. If there's lightning striking all around me, you can pretty much bet I'm not going to be hanging out on some mountaintop.

Then, he's chilling out on the plains and he sees some Bison. Upon seeing these Bison, he declares...

"You know, out here, Bison kill more people each year than Bears. We do not want to mess with them..."

...as he's walking right for the them!

And they pay him to say/do shit like that! I guess there's hope for me yet.

Final thought of the day...


[Play me]
Go Eagles...

Let's talk Ravens.

It's Electric [for the Steelers]...

This one goes out to Sandy Domski. If only I had the video of everyone doing it at Domski's wedding. Oh well, blame Silky Johnson.

Alright, so no more holidays. And we've got Steelers football this weekend! Are y'all awake now?

Yes, it's true. Unfortunately, the Dolphins couldn't play like a division champ yesterday and fell hard to the Ravens Defense. Chad Pennington threw four picks. Fired.

And so we drew the Chargers. The Lightning Bolts. It's electric. Get it?

Anyways, remember that time when we were about to play the Chargers, like two months ago, and I said I was worried about Darren Sproles?

328 all purpose yards, was it on Saturday? HEYO!

But, given that...

LT = hurt
Gates = hurt...though you wouldn't know it by the game he put together
Vincent Jackson = held to ZERO catches by the COLTS defense
Rivers = 217 yards, no TDs and a pick

If Darren Sproles is our biggest worry, that's fine by me.

Not to mention, San Diego played that game against the Colts IN San Diego. This week they'll be once again traversing the nation to the much trodden field of Heinz. Nay, the permafrost that is the Pittsburgh field turf in January. You think that's going to be easy for a team who hails from a city with an average temperature of "warm as hell?"

Surf ain't up in the 'Burgh, dude.

Either way, I'm happy that we're not playing the Colts. Say what you want about that game on Saturday, I still wouldn't wanna play Peyton Manning, who, let it be noted, threw for 300+ yards (and ZERO picks) in a losing effort.

And while there's also a chance that we could play the Ravens again, that's not really a situation I can worry about right now. Let's say it comes to that - they'll still have just played the Titans, who hopefully will have beat the shit out of La'ron McClain and Joe Flacco, leaving them beaten and battered for Silverback to feast on. Plus, there's always a chance Ray Lewis could get arrested between now and next Sunday. So, you know, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I haven't heard too many reports about Big Ben's vagina concussion the past few days, but from the sound of it, he didn't practice last week. Just took it easy. Relaxed on the sidelines. Had a few juice boxes and some orange slices that Heath Miller's Mom brought for the team. That kind of stuff. Which, because he's Ben Roethlisberger, means he should be well rested and nursed back to decent enough health to get his ass back onto the practice field and get his head in the right place to go out and make it rain on the Chargers D.

But, I also have to say (because I think Domski and I have had a cumulative three hours of conversation about it over the past week), the line better bring it's big boy pads. If those dudes can't block for Big Ben, shit could get real ugly. Also, running the ball. If we could do it effectively, that'd be pretty cool. But the new year's just begun. I'm reluctant to start wasting my wishes just yet.

Hey, at least the Chargers don't believe in holding...


You're not in Kansas San Diego anymore, jagoffs.

Get your act together.


Especially you, sir.

Notes from this weekend...

Damn, 8 years old and already on crystal meth. They grow up so fast these days.


So I hear you've got some free time, now. How's about you and me, you know, go get some cookies and milk?

So, the Chargers performance on Sunday, Big Ben's condition, the line's condition - Any thoughts?

PS - Check it out, OFTOT's on Twitter. Now, if I could only figure out how this thing works.

I Think I'm With Domski On This One...

Oh man, the Ravens. I mean, where do I begin?

Should I talk about how they've won seven of their last eight games? Or how over that same stretch, supposed rookie phenom, Joe Flacco has only thrown three total picks? Or how he's also thrown 12 TDs? Should I talk about how friggin' Le'ron McClain is leading their team in rushing with 606 yards and 7 TDs on the year? Or how 75 year old Derrick Mason is leading them in receiving and could easily end the year with over 1000 yards (he's at 871)? Or maybe how their defense, despite being two men down in the secondary has nabbed 12 INTs over those last eight games? Or how Ed Reed's second in the league to only Troy, with five of those 12 picks?

Or MAYBE I could talk about how their numbers are eerily similar to ours on Defense in general? Yeah, how about that. Right now everyone knows the Steelers are #1 across the board. But playing a close second fiddle is Murdermore Baltimore.

Total Yds Per Game - 253.4 (Pitt = 241.9)
Rush Yds Per Game - 77 (Pitt = 73)
Pass Yds Per Game - 176.4 (Pitt = 168.9)
Pts Per Game - 15.4 (Pitt = 14.1)
TDs allowed - 16 (Pitt = 16)

Of course, our 45 total sacks dwarf their measly 28. But you can't really deny that they seem to have their shit together.

Alright, so yeah, they played the Raiders, Browns, Texans and Bengals in there, but they also only lost to the Giants, who you know, are apparently the second coming of Christ...errr, were, until the Eagles told them what was what on Sunday. And the Giants kind of made them look like the Rams, actually, as did the Colts. Of course, we lost to both of those teams, ourselves. Albeit by a significantly lesser margin...

Anyways, my point being - we haven't seen the Ravens since September 29. And even then, we barely eked out a win in OT. We've got a real big game on our hands this week.

Now, I know you're all going to cry about me cupping the Ravens balls like this. But look, do you really think the Ravens are just going to forget that they're playing sick Defense right in time for our randomly-consistent Offense? Dude, they've had this game circled on the calendar since they lost to us in September. And definitely since they lost to the Giants a few weeks back. I'll bet any amount of money that Ray Lewis will be in there tomorrow screaming at those assholes about how everyone's talking about Pittsburgh, and how if they win this game they tie up the division and split two games with us. Not to mention how he's a murderer. Yadda yadda yadda, you've heard all this before.

I'm just sayin', we better be ready come Sunday. No screwing around this week, Arians.

Hines Ward - I don't know where YOU were last Sunday, but you better show up for this week. We're gonna need you. In addition to Heath, Santonio, and Nate Washington. Something tells me if we can't muster more than 70 yards on the Cowboys, with four guys contributing to that, we won't be running the ball much on the Ravens either.

And one more thing - their punter, Sam Koch, averages just about 43 yards a punt (2nd in league). Our punter is Mitch Berger. Need I go on?

Oh well, at least we've got Steely McBeam...


You know what? I'm just gonna watch this video again...


And also, this one...


This one's pretty good too...


This one, not so much...


What's that, Hines?


Good call...

Thoughts?

Say What???

"After the play, I wasn't screaming 'he's hurt.' I was screaming 'he's done.'"

- Ray Lewis

This was taken from last week's issue of Sports Illustrated, which for some reason unbeknownst to me I still subscribe to.

So um, Ray...uh, what the shit is that?

Sounds pretty dick to me.

What do you guys think?

Also, see here for Terrell Suggs' shit talk on the matter.