/DONE!

Suck it, law school exams!

Consider yourselves, OWNED!

So, guys, what did I miss?

I Think These People Need To Get Laid...

Click to enlarge and See here for reference and such...

Notice the correct spellings of PittsburgH, the related group, "What Would Neil Patrick Harris do?," and the repetitious joke delivered by the spelling ace, there. Not to mention the extremely polite comment right above that.

Ravens fans, all class.

And also, you can't see it in the screen shot I took above, but this little gem was tucked away at the bottom...

Let me just ask - how can you, in good conscience, leave a game you just lost 13-9, that cost you the division, and still chant about the STEELERS sucking...Uh, sorry guys, I believe 'twas the Ravens who ultimately sucked, if I'm not mistaken...
[UPDATE: Nevermind...this was from when they killed us back in '06]

In other news, t-minus 36 hours until this law school exam business is all over!

Changes and Such...

Alright, a couple notes here for you...

First, this whole Google Friend Connect business. You may have already noticed the little module in the left sidebar in which there is a number of weird thumbnail pictures and some links that say things like "Join" and "Beer Me." Ok, there's no "Beer Me" link, try as I might. But in case you hadn't figured it out - OFTOT is now a "social" site thanks to the internet geniuses over at Google.

What this means is that now, in addition to commenting on posts, you can become a "member" of OFTOT and make "friends" with other members. Plus, they've got that nifty wall thing that I also copped. So once you become a member you can, you know, speak your mind freely about how much you hate me and my writing, over there, rather than feeling confined to commenting on the subject matter of a given post (Vern).

I think this is pretty cool stuff, myself. But I'm also a giant nerd. Nevertheless, I urge you to become a member so we can "connect" on another level and move one step closer to becoming actual friends, like in real life. Remember what that's like?

Second, and more importantly, it's that time in my semester. The time that all students, law school or otherwise, just adore. Finals, my friends.

Today is my last day of classes and for the next two weeks, I'll be in full fledged, lock myself in a room with a shitload of coffee and other study enhancers, crouched over a book that rivals the thickness of a Tolstoy novel, but does not have any of the literary appeal, mode (after work, that is).

It shouldn't really mean a whole lot for OFTOT, other than the fact that I may seem just a tad angrier than normal, and there may be days on which I don't get a morning post up until mid morning. That said, I have no idea if that will be the case or not. I'm just giving you fair warning.

And now that we've got that out of the way, I saw something this morning that kind of made me laugh and think at the same time. It was a family with a little girl, who was tethered to her Mother by a leash. Now, I've seen this before. I think right around the early to mid 90's this was kind of a "fad" for a little bit, maybe. Seeing this, I just can't help but think - what is that teaching the kid?

I mean, obviously, as a parent you want to make sure your kid doesn't wander off to get snatched up by some crazy child molester (see R Kelly/Random Asshole) or something. But you're not really teaching them what to do. You're just restricting their movement. I'm just thinking that by teaching them to stay by you on their own, they'll learn to just do it, without the need for a leash, as if they're some wild animal or something.

Then again, I'm not a parent, nor do I plan to be anytime in the foreseeable future. I love kids, but at my ripe young-ish age, I've still got a few years of idiocy left in me before I stop spending three hours a night playing Rock Band and start spending three hours a night feeding and coddling a small lifeform. Plus, this was on the busy streets of lower Manhattan (Canal St, no less). So maybe it was necessary.

Either way, I'll bet if these things were popular when I was a kid, my parents would've been first in line for one. I think I can still hear my Mom...

"CHRISTOPHER, GET! OVER! HERE! NO! LEAVE THAT DISPLAY ALONE! Shit, we better get outta here. I can't take you anywhere..."

/storms out of store angrily pulling young Christopher firmly by his left arm

Hey, At Least It's Not About Brett Fav-ruh...

"Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty, I'm free at last!"

Not to take Martin Luther King Jr.'s wisdom in vain. But he's a smart dude. A lot smarter than my dumb ass. And well, that's how I feel right now, free. Although I still have a writing assignment due next Tuesday. So I'm not out of the proverbial woods just yet.

Still, yes friends, I am free...relatively. Two finals up, two finals down. Don't ask me how they went, because I ain't gonna tell you. Rule #1 I learned in law school was - never try to estimate how you did on an exam. Most of the time you have a 7%-8% chance of being right, and if you're superstitious like me, it isn't even worth it.

Anyways, back to your regularly scheduled Steelers programming...

So apparently 'Burgh native Mark Cuban returned to his alma mater the other night for what else, but a forum about these here internets. And while he was there, what do you suppose the Pittsburgh media asked him to comment on? The wide world of porn web? Yeah, right. Actually, it was the Steelers. Specifically, why he didn't want to invest in the team's ownership.

His rationale, you ask? Well, that'd be...

"The realities of environments -- where the cap is based upon total revenue, including local revenue of the league divided by the number of teams -- means that teams that can't generate local revenue as fast as the cap can go up..."

...Ah yes, it's a lot like "Star Trek: The Next Generation". In many ways it is superior, but will never be as recognized as the original...

I mean, what?

Dude, just say you didn't want to buy the team. I highly doubt anyone cares about your views on the Salary Cap. And to be honest with you, I think the Salary Cap is actually a good thing. Without it, we'd have a Dallas-New England Super Bowl every god damned year. And I know nobody wants to hear about Jessica Simpson and Giselle Bundchen for three hours...unless it involves hearing about them making out, that is. You know, that or watching them make out...either way.

So, I guess we can all rest easy knowing that Mark Cuban would rather pay 15 guys who toss a ball through a hoop out in the middle of Texas $84+ million dollars than own one of the proudest NFL Franchises. Great. That's just, great. I'm gonna go stick a fork in my eye, now. I'll see you in a minute.

Ah, it's good to be back. I missed you guys. What have you been up to? You're looking really buff! Wait, let me try that again. Hey guys, what did I miss? You're all still with me, right?

Hello?

...

Well, That Went Alright I Guess...

"It broke pretty well for us...We didn't feel like we reached for any positions."

- Kevin Colbert

Six rounds, seven picks, and I missed all but about three of them. Nonetheless, from what I've heard and read after the fact, Kevin Colbert took it to the bank, and we picked up a rather noteworthy stable of picks.

Unfortunately, our draft day discussion thread was pretty much an epic fail, despite what I thought was a pretty slick photoshop job (reused here) and some solid pre-draft rhymes. So I guess I'll just have to hear what you all think about this year's class this morning.

What do I think? Well, based on what little I know, I'd say it's fair to give the Steelers a B to B- for their performance. Outside of Mendenhall, Sweed, Dixon and Mundy, I'm pretty clueless as to these other dudes. So maybe they're studs, but I honestly couldn't tell you.

Hence, I only have a couple of things to comment on today, then I'll be more than happy to hear what you guys think...

The first two picks I couldn't have been happier with. Rashard Mendenhall is a solid between the tackles runner that will certainly give our offense a boost next season, as he'll presumably share the load with FWP (something I believe the Fast one will welcome). To get him at 23 was just unbelievable.

In kind, Limas Sweed was another guy that I am amazed we were able to steal at 53. Big Ben ought to be pretty psyched about getting a 6'4", 212 pound monster to throw to. Can't really go wrong there. If he lives up to the Plaxico Burress-esque playmaking abilities (without the attitude), this could prove to be an even bigger steal than anyone thought.

Dennis Dixon was clearly a head scratcher in the 5th round. While I personally like Dixon, it just doesn't make a ton of sense what with the Steelers signing Jared Zabransky this offseason and Chuck Batch still in relatively good health (for the relatively old man that he is). Plus we really could have gone D-Line here...

Ryan Mundy was a good call. Who knows if he'll amount to anything on the Steelers roster but I like to see that homegrown talent come back to the 'Burgh. If the analysis of his abilities is correct, and he's more of a centerfielder than an explosive tackler, maybe that won't be such a bad thing. With Polamalu all over the place, it would be nice if we had a guy that could capably handle the deep zone. Still, there's a reason why he wasn't picked until late in the 6th round. So let's not get ahead of ourselves.

And really that's all I got. I'll bet you're thinking - "man, that's three minutes I'll never have back...awesome."

I know less than nothing about Bruce Davis, Tony Hills, and Mike Humpal. So if you've got thoughts/assessment, I'm all ears.

Now, on a completely unrelated and unfortunate note -- due to my neurosis about finals, and strange, unexplainable desire to get good grades, I'll be taking my bellyaching offline for the next two weeks. IE - no blogging, just studying. But never you fear. I have solicited a replacement...err...well, Domski. Whatever you want to call him. So while I'm off trying to figure out why it was so important for me to read 50 friggin cases about Depraved Indifference Reckless Murder, the Dominator will do his best to keep you all entertained with the latest Steeler news. My head may surface here and there in the comments. But predominantly I'll be imposing radio silence until May 13 or 14, depending on how many days it takes me to recover from the traumatic events of May 5 (Criminal Law), May 8 (Civil Procedure), and May 12 (Lawyering).

So wish me luck, I'm off to enjoy self-imposed isolation. Keep it real, gangstas.

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Rashard Mendenhall
Limas Sweed
Bruce Davis
Tony Hills
Dennis Dixon
Mike Humpal
Ryan Mundy

And Now For Some Real Fun...

So you might have noticed the lack of a post yesterday...and the fact that this crap is all I'm giving you today. Well there's a very good reason for that - tonight I have final exam #1 of my Spring semester in hell at law school.

It's in legal research, which if you're not familiar, is about as much fun as an enema...but without the feeling of satisfaction after it's over (Yeah I don't know either...).

Nonetheless, I have been and will continue to be focused on trying to figure out what the hell we did all semester. So I regretfully inform you that for the 2nd day in a row I have nothing entertaining for you.

Now if you'll all excuse me, I've got a significant amount of really boring shit to go read...

PS - you'd be amazed how many stock photos have people smiling while taking exams. I can honestly say in all my years of academia I have never once smiled while taking an exam. That is completely unrealistic. Frankly, I'll be lucky if I'm not still bent over tomorrow...