The Island Has Moved...

Check it out - the new OFTOT.

Your Daily Dose of "WTF?"...

The internet is an amazing place.

Not only can you find a site catering to just about any interest, but it has now become such a pervasive medium that athletes and celebrities are regularly leveraging it's awesome power in ways that are usually more or less brilliant revenue generators.

And here I am blogging for free.

What can you do?

Anyways, yesterday the internets were quite a boon for me, as a lowly Steelers blogger.

So as a result, I have several interesting tidbits to share with you this morning...beginning with Jeff Reed...because, why not?

ITEM #1...
If you want a glimpse of the Super Bowl XLIII ring up close, check out Jeff Reed on Fox Charlotte's "Got Game" segment. This is the same segment in which he relates that when the Steelers went to the White House to meet Obama, he forgot he was a team captain...which should surprise no one.

And if you just can't get enough of Jeff Reed, and I know you can't, in clip 2 he talks about watching the Pens win the cup, the pressure of being an NFL kicker, and he reveals his stylish new haircut.

Thankfully for everyone at Fox Charlotte, it appears their bathroom was chock full of paper towels.

Otherwise, shit could've gotten real ugly.

Moving on...

ITEM #2...
Earlier in the week, thanks to The Pensblog, I thought I had found a new ringtone...

I'd give you the High Quality version of that, but we all know it doesn't exist.

But that was until Mikey from the Kiss 96.1 Freakshow alerted me to this set of magical ringtones from Super Bowl MVP and erstwhile "Pussy Monsta," Santonio Holmes.

Big PM has given us eight fantastic tones to choose from - including such gems as - "Gotta Score This Touchdown," "Hey Yo Homeboy," and "You Screening Your Calls Now?"

Conspicuously missing were "Because I Got High," "Smoke Two Joints," and "I Saw The Sign."

I'd say something else about this, but honestly, they're ringtones...I've got nothing.

ITEM #3...

Chuck Norris ain't got shit on Samurai Big Ben.

Also, notice the lack of helmet, there.

.../I'm a terrible Steelers fan

And lastly...

If OFTOT looked like this for you at any point yesterday, I apologize. I've mentioned blogger/blogspot's shortcomings before, but never has anything quite like the entire site showing up in italics happened.

...I'm so happy to be finally getting off this shithole.

Which reminds me - I'll be [tentatively] unveiling the "new" OFTOT tomorrow for Meeting People Is Easy. But, since I make it a point never to be like Anthony Smith, I can't guarantee that.

Until then, email me if you want in on MPIE, OR if you'd like to contribute to the "Cotter is broker than the City of Detroit and writes this thing for free" fund.

Yes, I do accept payment in mint milano cookies.

I can haz eight hours of sleep?

...not likely

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Someone's Got A Staph Infection In The Brain...

I mean, that's really the only reasonable explanation for this nonsense below.

Stop me if you've heard this one...

"Pittsburgh was the worst franchise in the NFL until it hired Cleveland-born Chuck Noll as its coach. He led the Steelers to four of their first six Super Bowl championships. Keying Noll's indomitable defense was Hall of Famer Jack Lambert, a graduate of Crestwood High in Portage County and Kent State, and considered by some as the best linebacker ever.

Former Browns linebacker and assistant coach Bill Cowher led Pittsburgh to its fifth Super Bowl win. Cowher, despite his accomplishments, wasn't good enough to be head coach for the Browns. Don't believe it? Former Browns owner Art Modell chose Bill Belichick over Cowher as Cleveland's new coach in 1991. Proving that the Browns' decision-makers have always known what's best, Belichick has coached three Super Bowl championship teams.

Cotter Sidenote: Let the record show that Belichode won all three of those championships with the Patriots, that he only posted ONE winning season with the Browns, and to boot, that he was head coach of the Browns when they packed up their bags and moved to AIDS city, I mean Baltimore, in 1996 (where he was not retained).

Meanwhile, all Cowher did while Beliturd was Browns head coach was post four consecutive winning seasons (with four playoff trips), and take the Steelers to the Super Bowl in '96 - the same year that the Browns had to close up shop in Cle-heave-land (of course we all know how that worked out for Cowher, and we won't mention it either).

But, hey, that was probably all just luck.

In fact, one might say that the best move the Browns ever made was the one they made to Baltimore...where within the 1st five years, they won a Super Bowl...something they hadn't been able to do in any of the prior 30 years when they were in Cleveland (while the Super Bowl existed, of course).

Anyways...

Who's the reigning NFL defensive Player of the Year, and a linebacker on Pittsburgh's last two world champion teams? Akron's James Harrison, another former Kent State star.

What would the Steelers have been without such guys? And, all of their championships have been won since NFL games became more a dance than a brawl. After all, it was Lambert himself who famously said, "Quarterbacks should wear dresses," after he was reprimanded by the league for hitting a quarterback too hard. The Browns won all four of their titles when the game wasn't supervised like a croquet match.

We think Ron has really Cooked the books on this one. Cleveland has it all over Pittsburgh culturally, anyway. Do you know that Pittsburgh is so lacking in creative thinking that its football team was named the Pirates from 1933-40 (when it went 24-62-5, by the way)?

- Mike Pettica, Cleveland Plain-Dealer

Wait, is he trying to say that Cleveland is somehow responsible for the Steelers successes?

Uh, either way...does anyone even care at this point?

I sure don't.

Though, I did find it kind of funny that even his own Cleveland commenters provided zero support.

Here's just a taste...






I'd go ahead and rip on the sack of canine excrement that wrote this garbage, but I trust that Vern will take care of that one for me. In fact, rumor has it that when he returns from sunny SoCal he may do just that.

That is, if he makes it back from SoCal.

Until then, Cleveland...

I think that about says it all. Don't you?

Now, if you'd like something to really entertain you, might I suggest this post, which is right below, but I'm going to link to it anyway, because that's just easier for you, so much easier than reading this sentence, with it's 1000 commas, and no actual ending...

Proper English is for real writers. Eat me.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Tupac Who...

"I knit sweaters, yo."

Knitting.

It's what's going on in the streets, son.

If you didn't know that, you need to get your head out of your ass.

...I mean, I don't know what's funnier - Taylor Swift rapping, T Pain's general appearance or the fact that I thought Taylor Swift wasn't half bad.

I'll leave that one up to you all.

h/t to my boy Mikey at the Kiss 96.1 Morning Freakshow!

The Steelers? They're probably doing something. But I can guarantee it isn't as funny or as interesting as this. It's the offseason. Deal with it.

PS - Happy Birthday, Tupac! You are still missed.

2nd h/t to my buddy Andy from The Arena for the 'pac tip!

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Headline of the Day...

Let's be honest, as a contributing member of the Pittsburgh sports blogosphere, I'd be remiss if I didn't send the Pens a big time congratulations for taking Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final on Friday, thus securing their first cup in 17 years!

The Pens run up to, and through the NHL playoffs was not altogether that dissimilar from the Steelers run up to and through the NFL playoffs en route to Super Bowl XL. But what the Pens did was really incredible. A month out of the playoffs, no one thought they'd even get in. Their record certainly suggested that, and they had recently supplanted the veteran HCMT with noob HCDB, who himself was only several years removed from being a player. And yet, just a few months later, they now stand as league champions!

I'm sure they were all waiting for this post to really feel accomplished about it, too...

Anyways, besides the fact that at this time of year, there's more going on in your garden than there is in the world of sports, yesterday's lack of posting was mostly my acknowledgment that even if anyone read this blog in the first place, no one would have cared what I had to say yesterday - a fact to which the 375,000 people attending yesterday's victory parade certainly gave credence.

As for Game 7, I spent it in good company - with Tec (whom you can see right at the beginning of the video below) and Christmas Ape (whom it was great to finally meet in person!) - at Foley's, the Penguins bar here in Manhattan. Here are a couple of highlights (because I know you care)...




It was a great game to watch, albeit a nerve racking one. But in the end, the Pens had an answer for almost everything the Wings tried to throw at them. Go rewatch even the first period and count how many times the Pens shut the door on the Wings. They played with conviction and fire - this year, they weren't going to be denied. And in the end, that intensity and discipline brought them something they'll never forget.

Congrats, Pens! This post's for you!

And for no particular reason, here's a bonus photoshop of HCDB wielding a lightsaber...


Now, here are a bunch of links to keep all of YOU occupied until I can get my act together...

Mitch Berger doing his best Jeff Reed impression [Deadspin]

Big Ben shot an 81 at Bethpage, with ROCCO MEDIATE as his caddy! Also, Ben > Tony Homo, Michael Jordan and Justin Timberjoke [Post-Gazette]

NFL franchises certainly shouldn't need a rule telling them to interview minority candidates for front office positions, but if that's what it takes, then kudos to the league for extending the Rooney Rule [AP]

The Arizona Cardinals Ben Patrick has been suspended for four games for Adderall...First, Go Blue Hens! Second, this is further proof that I wouldn't last a day in the NFL [AP]

You think you're a Pens fan - well then, pop quiz... [Sean's Ramblings]

As the Legend puts it, now we wait... [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

A note on fandom [WHYGAVS]

Words cannot properly describe how hilarious this song about trading Nate McLouth is...and yet, it's not as funny as the fact that some guy actually wrote a song about trading Nate McLouth (PS - many of you may have already seen this) [Walkoff Walk]

The Pirates old school uniforms - coming in at a respectable #7 on this list of the ugliest uniforms of all time...Sidenote: there's no way you can rank the Bucs unis higher than Syracuse football jerseys and old school Padres unis...there just isn't [Moondog Sports]

If you haven't seen it, be sure to check out Artie Lange on Joe Buck...Joe Buck = Stunned [Sports Crackle Pop]

Two solid old school WWF videos...Somewhere today, Koko B. Ware is thanking Deuce of Davenport for reminding people that he once existed (no word on whether he still exists) [Deuce of Davenport]

Even liquor stores can be clever marketers, I guess [FAIL Blog]

New week, new beat from Maticulous! [Maticulous Music]

PSA for Tuesday: Be patient with old people driving...sooner or later, that'll be you [Grumpy Old Dog]

Now, on a completely unrelated note - I don't know if it's just because it's the offseason or what, but for the last several weeks, I've really felt off of my game. Every time I go to write a post, it's like each sentence is a struggle to overcome some kind of mental block. And while, frankly, my writing was never going to win a Pulitzer or anything, it's definitely seen better days.

Usually this happens when I'm manufacturing posts or when I haven't been writing as much. Maybe right now it's a combination of the two. Either way, if you've read this site for more than just these last several weeks, you'll remember that at some point, it won't completely suck anymore (maybe).

Anyways, I just felt like that needed to be said.

Thank you all for sticking with me in this time of emotional distress. Your allegiance will not be forgotten.

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Meeting People Is Easy...

So, every week I do this whole intro thing, in which I say a bunch of stuff that doesn't matter. And really it's mostly just filler.

I mean, if there are new panelists, it makes sense to introduce them, because, you know, maybe you're not as familiar with their work as you are with that of the MPIE regulars. But when it's just the All-Star cast, I think that work's already been done several times over.

Anyways, as you will see, this week's panel is...
1. Neena
2. Tiny350z
3. Marc
4. Vern
5. Lori
6. John Woods
7. Grumpy
8. Steve
9. Ladi Izz
10. laclips
11. Doug
12. Nate
13. Matt
14. Sean
15. Noah
16. Hey, what's up?

Once it gets up over like 14, I feel like I should split it into two different photoshops. But when I was doing this at 1AM last night, I didn't quite have the good judgment or the foresight to realize that. Actually, I didn't even realize until just now that there were 16 people on this week's panel.

Clearly I'm well aware of life...

In any case, I've written my filler, introduced the panel, and made jokes at my own expense, which means now you should just read the actual questions and answers.

I dare you to salvage more than 10% of your brain cells by the time you're done.

Oh yeah, and Lori sent me this video that goes with her Favorite Song of the Moment...


And...GO!

Click to enlarge...

Now, just for the hell of it, since I got my hands on some pictures from the Steelers workouts...


Ziggy Hood is all business.


"You see, Bruce. That's how you take down a motherf*#@er."


As usual, Jeff Reed took this shit real seriously...where did he even find a construction helmet? ...let's hope in Ben's locker. HEYO!


Pictures of everybody wearing helmets except Ben.

And finally...

GO PENS!!

See you at Foley's for Game 7!

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Headline of the Day...

Anyone who's been hitting the pavement, searching for a new gig in the last oh, I'd say nine months or so, knows what this ad is talking about (you probably wanna click to enlarge that bad boy).

What a state of affairs right now.

I'm not pretending to have the answer.

But if I had a dollar for every time I saw an ad offering something like $12/hr for a full time, non-entry level, professional position, I'd probably be able to single-handedly stimulate this economy back into being the well oiled machine it ought to be.

Put it this way, when employers have to explicitly say "with benefits" in a classified ad, you know there's a problem.

Anyways, totally not Steelers related at all.

What can you do?

Oh well, let these links atone for my Steelers blogging sin...

China Jack is a good man. And thorough. His latest toast is NOT to be missed... [PSaMP]

You think YOU know how to handle pressure? Read this, about Willie Gay [Post-Gazette]

Mike Wallace says he's the fastest guy on the team...a claim to which you have to give credence when a guy runs a 4.33 40 [Beaver County Times]

Solid NY Times piece on the Steelers SB XLIII rings (which yielded the images below this list of links) [NY Times]

Drew Brees doesn't puke when he drinks. He pukes when he doesn't drink [The Sports Hernia]

NFL moving in the right direction - starts spinal treatment program for retired players [AP]

Pens fans - Remember 1909 [The Pensblog]

I've been totally neglect in my duty to point out Lori's contest to counteract the Red Wings douchey video contest. There may not be time for more entries, but at least you can still laugh at Vern's videos [HFSS]

Hey baby, my name is Geno and I'm good with a stick... [Deadspin]

If you wanna know whether Raul Ibanez is clean, just take a look at his stool [Tirico Suave]

A breath of fresh air from Steve...and Bip Roberts??? [Steve Is Alive]

The Amish go west, like Fievel... [Grumpy Old Dog]

How Marco Polo makes beats...listen up... [Maticulous Music]

Sean...er, I mean Sean's friend, tries to get a kid's meal without having a kid [Sean's Ramblings]

Tiny's "great adventure" to Denver... [Cheese People]

Disc 2 of Radiohead's "In Rainbows" now available in digital form [Radiohead At Ease]

Tiny350z with the Best Song to Sing in Your Car! I hear her selection is Tec's favorite too.. [Sheena Beaston]

Blink doing "Dammit" and "What's My Age Again" on Kimmel [Punk News]

Download the entire Finch EP for FREE! [Finch]

Now, that's what I call good branding [FAIL Blog]

Speaking of FAIL Blog, THIS is Jon Gosselin's "mistress?" [The Superficial]

Now that my Google Reader is finally clean (for the next five minutes, that is), here are those pretty pictures I promised...

What a coincidence, that's also how they measure my manhood!


You're missing a couple, there.


If you had any doubts that two rings would get you lei'd, eliminate them. Awful pun. Whatevs.

Lastly, because Matt reminded me of this classic...
<br/><a href="http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?vid=9db33a62-913c-4511-a026-372062f866b9" target="_new" title="Will Ferrell is Robert Goule">Video: Will Ferrell is Robert Goule</a>
Will Ferrel is on another plane.

PS - Meeting People Is Easy is going to happen again tomorrow. If you weren't part of the email I sent out, but want to be on the panel, drop me a line and let a brotha know - onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com.

PPS - Scrotum. Good word.

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Everything's Coming Up..."Pussy_Monsta?"

Last night, Super Bowl XLIII hero and MVP, Santonio Holmes got a surreal new piece of jewelry.

Today, those pesky weed charges against him were dropped ("no probable cause" for stopping him in the first place...IE - see line above about Super Bowl XLIII).

But lost in all of this is his change in Twitter identity, which is another WIN - albeit more for us than for him.

If you aren't on Twitter, or hadn't noticed...

WOW. I mean, A+ for creativity?

At first, I was somewhat morally conflicted about whether or not to post this - effectively "blowing up" the man's stealthy spot.

Plus, given the natural difficulty in verifying whether someone is or is not, in fact, the Pussy_Monsta, there's still a chance that it's not him.

But then I realized, no one reads this blog.

So you can all thank my virtual anonymity for this one.

And also The Bish, who gave me the tip in the first place!

Only the most hard hitting news here at OFTOT...nahmeen?

As you were, then...

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.