A Veritable Cornucopia of News...

Not exactly good news. Or bad news. Or even interesting news. But news, nevertheless.

In case you missed them, yesterday brought us four separate stories.

Let's begin...

#1 ~ The Rooneys Are Selling The Steelers...
Chyeah...right...and monkeys might fly out of my butt!

As far as I understand it, Chairman Dan (the Man) Rooney and his son, President Art Rooney II are planning to purchase all of the elder Rooney's brothers shares in the team. Wow that was kind of a mouthful. Anyways, apparently the less football-relevant Rooneys want to focus on things that might appeal more to Charles Barkley than Roger Goodell. Namely, gambling. Will this mean slots in Pittsburgh? Only if there is a God...

#2 ~ The Sporting News Knows Their Stuff...
Two, count 'em, two features by the Sporting News yesterday discussing the Steelers. One, aptly titled, "Optimistic Browns better watch out for Big Ben." The other, "Steelers’ burning question: A more pounding ground game?"

As to the First - I applaud the Browns-focused piece for promoting what we've been peddling here at OFTOT for at least three months - tempered enthusiasm. Look, we know how exciting an overweight Defensive Lineman with character questions can be...But get serious. The Super Bowl is won in February, not April or May or June or July. And plus, it's the Browns.

As to the Second - Sounds like this dude has been reading OFTOT.

#3 ~ The Steelers Signed Some Draft Picks...
Not Rashard Mendenhall or Limas Sweed...but Tony Hills and Dennis Dixon. /Yawns. Kidding...ish.

#4 ~ I Guess I Can't Watch Inside The NFL Anymore...
Simms AND Collinsworth in one broadcast? Might as well be Romeo Crennel and Marvin Lewis. Don't expect any love from either tandem. Jesus.

But look guys, if you think discussing these lackluster story lines is boring, try waxing nostalgic about Kelly Holcomb. As a wise man would say, I pity the foo' who has no fonder memory than Kelly Holcomb.

PS - Rashard. Mendenhall.

You hear me, Steeler fans of the internets?