Alright, Alright, Alright...

I'll let Wooderson's immortal words above convey the sentiment of this one - According to Tomlin, Keisel is "probably close enough to warrant some consideration to participate" [in Sunday's game].

Still no Marvel Smith, but I'll be super psyched if Keisel's back for Bitchmore!

Behold, Wooderson...


Not this Wooderson, although they're pretty cool too...I guess.

Say What???

"After the play, I wasn't screaming 'he's hurt.' I was screaming 'he's done.'"

- Ray Lewis

This was taken from last week's issue of Sports Illustrated, which for some reason unbeknownst to me I still subscribe to.

So um, Ray...uh, what the shit is that?

Sounds pretty dick to me.

What do you guys think?

Also, see here for Terrell Suggs' shit talk on the matter.

Pop Quiz...

Should the Steelers let Willie Parker play on Sunday?

Secured!

Not pictured: Snipers Silverback and The Wood.

As they say, a win is a win.

Things that were awesome...
1. Silverback and LaMarr Woodley combining for four of five total sacks
2. Santonio's catch and run on the play that sparked all our momentum
3. Jeff Reed
4. Mewelde Moore and Carey Davis stepping up
5. Winning and being 1st in the division with a leg up on Bawlmore and Cleveland

Things that were not awesome...
1. Joe Flacco marching the Ratbirds down the field to tie it up
2. Multiple false start penalties on same drive
3. Mitch Berger's stat line - Average Punt = 40 yards
4. Listening to Jaws whisper sweet nothings about Joe Flacco all night
5. The game ending at 12:15 or some such ungodly hour for a blogger with a real job

Things that sucked...
1. The 1st half
2. Big Ben IN the 1st half
3. Bruce Arians' PLAY CALLING in the 1st half
4. Mendenhall and Simmons to IR?
5. Ray Lewis comparing himself to Michael Strahan

"Full" game recap post may follow later this morning. Until then...what say you, Steeler brethren?

Oh, and while I'm getting my act together, witness the celebratory idiocy...

Ever since I was a lower case c
But now I'm a big C
The girls see I got the money
$100 $5 bills y'all...

This Ain't Good At All...

Ruh - roh, I just caught wind of something fierce (and no, it's not John Clayton's ass)...

Ready for this?

Both WILLIE PARKER AND CASEY HAMPTON ARE GOING TO MISS MONDAY'S GAME AGAINST THE RAVENS!!!

Guess we have no choice but to run Wreckingball now. Oh, and the defensive configuration ought to be interesting as well.

That's it, I'm officially an Eagles fan.

Let's discuss.

The Doctor Will See You Now...

Ok, so we lost on Sunday. I, for one, am still pissed off about it. But I refuse to let it ruin my week. Instead, I'd like to do what I always do and try to be funny so I can successfully mask the black shitstorm of death within...I mean, hey guys, what's up? Didn't see you there.

Well anyway, I really did want to get humorous today. So I reached deep down into my creative subconscious and pulled out this little nugget right here. It's Tuesday, so Tomlin should have his presser later on this afternoon, at which he'll announce the injuries to watch this week. With that in mind I thought I'd preempt him and give you all the injury report right now.

So let's not do this dance where I write a whole bunch of words that I don't need to write en route to introducing the main feature that you probably won't read. Just consider this your transition. Or should you so desire...choose your own adventure [and insert witty segue from randomness to more randomness here].

Yeah, so, uh, here it is...

1. Big Ben - Bruised confidence in the offensive line
2. Chris Hoke - Severe case of looking like Vader
3. Chris Kemoeatu - Extremely itchy face
4. Willie Colon - Unknown (believed to be worthlessness)
5. Jeff Reed - Being awesome...and probably herpes
6. Byron Leftwich - I think he's just over eager, really
7. Donavan McNabb - Feelings are permanently hurt (yeah, I know)
8. Limas Sweed - Sports hernia (might actually be true?)
9. Bruce Arians - Head up ass disease
10. LaMarr Woodley - Wait, how'd he get in here? Erroneous.
11. Deshea Townsend - Needs to grow three inches
12. Hines Ward - So bitchy, I love it.
13. Larry Zierling - This blog no longer recognizes his existence
14. Anthony Smith - FAIL!
15. Cotter - Man, this damn blog never has enough dinosaurs

But alas, that's all I got. Anyone else who tells you they're injured, they're lying to you, man. Especially Brett Keisel. That guy is completely unbelievable. Yeah dude, you're injured...and I'm the Easter Bunny.

What, no good?

This Oughta Be Fun...

Brett Keisel reportedly out for two months.

So get used to a heavy dose of Nick Eason, Travis Kirschke, and dare I say, Orpheus Roye?

Too bad neither Mike Humpal nor Tony Hills can play DE. How's that decision not to draft any D-lineman looking now?

Balls.

The Doctor Will See You Now...

A bit of a rip off that all I'm giving you on Saturday is an injury update. But hey, if you guys knew what kind of crap I was up against this weekend, you'd understand. Trust me...

Anywho - the injury update is actually rather significant on both sides for tomorrow.

As we all know, Ben returned to practice yesterday after missing both Wednesday and Thursday with a sore shoulder. He is listed as Questionable for Sunday, and while I mentioned yesterday that Ben is a fierce competitor and we should expect him to start, now I'm not so sure. If you watch KDKA's video of his throws in practice yesterday, he certainly doesn't look comfortable. Of course this may just have been because he was taking it easy. But he didn't have that rainbow throwing motion that you would expect. Plus, I hear Batch took a lot of the snaps again. So as of now, the jury's out. Or as Big Ben puts it - we'll have to "Ask Coach on that one."

For the Jagoffs Jaguars, it looks like in addition to Marcus Stroud, who was placed on IR earlier this week, they will be without DE Reggie Hayward (as previously reported) and LB Mike Peterson. Also encouraging, but always running the risk of being a cock tease are the Questionables for this week, which include - CB Rashean Mathis, S Reggie Nelson and DE Paul Spicer. If for some reason these three did not suit up on Sunday, that would make 5 less of their normal 11 starters we'd have to worry about, including 3/4 of the Defensive line and 1/2 the secondary. Of course, it's more than likely that they'll all play. But a man can hope. PS - no injuries for the Jaguars Offense...

Just a reminder - tomorrow I plan on posting an open Gameday thread so we can all bullshit with each other during the game...share in the ups...share in the downs...share our feelings on the current state of foreign affairs, wherever the conversation leads us. 'Til then, have a great weekend Steeler brethren!

Riding The Pine: Week 8 Injury Update...

Man, this has been a year to remember (er...forget) in terms of injuries. The league has been plagued by them, the Steelers included, and the trend just seems to continue. Remember, this is only WEEK 8!

Our latest casualties are Aaron Smith and Ryan Clark. Smith with a sprained MCL sustained in Sunday's loss and Clark with a friggin' inflamed spleen!

Tomlin thinks the chances of Smith playing Sunday are "doubtful at best," and with Big Snack still recovering, this could mean bad things for both our run defense and pass rush. Smith has been as instrumental for us this year as he has always been, and if anything, hasn't been given enough credit for our defensive success. So this is a big blow.

As for Clark, it's unknown whether he will be able to go or not. He didn't travel back from Denver with the team, instead staying "for observation", so I guess that's a "we'll see." From what I read, this spleen thing is a blood condition brought on by the Denver altitude and dehydration. God damn altitude...guess that crazy blood machine Tomlin was talking about last week couldn't help us...I love technology, don't you? Since Anthony Smith has seen a good amount of time this year anyway, Clark's injury may not be a huge deal. Nonetheless, Clark is the starter, and any injured starter in our secondary is one less reliable guy to defend against the Cincinnati pass attack.

Less than ideal sitch...

Steelers Aaron Smith Likely Out for Sunday's Game [Post-Gazette]
Tomlin: Clark Injured Spleen In Broncos Game [KDKA]

Ok, So I Lied...

Didn't exactly lie, but when I reported yesterday that Hines Ward MIGHT play on Sunday, I guess I meant just that - MIGHT. Unfortunately, all signs right now point to him sitting this one out. So it will be up to Santonio Holmes to shoulder the burden that is our passing game.

Cedric Wilson was non-existent last week (did he even put pads on?), Nate Washington couldn't catch a cold, and Ben wasn't exactly making the best throwing decisions. So hopefully those problems will also get corrected this week. One can only hope. And for the record, the Seahawks defense is ranked 20th against the pass, giving up an average of around 245 yards per game...which, of course, bodes pretty well. Still, we'll have to execute to take advantage of this.

At least we'll have Spaeth back, which should help in the red zone, if not elsewhere. Plus, Willie ought (in theory) to be able to put a sizable enough dent in the Seattle defense, which has been giving up a respectable average of about 104 yards on the ground, to do the job. However, it is this last point that I think will be key (whoa, revelation...). If we can get Willie going effectively, it will make everything work a lot better. Ben should have more time and confidence, we can spread the field more, and dictate the flow of the game.

But enough of that for now, I'll save the "analysis" for later, because to be honest with you, I'm slightly hungover today. Stringing words together is not the easiest thing to do right now...check back.

Best Damn News I've Head All Day...

that is besides the verdict rendered against Zeke (Isaiah Thomas for those of you who don't remeber 1989) and MSG. Maybe now we can finally bust up that bullshit monopoly Cablevision has on providing cable TV to the greater NYC metro area (mainly because I can't get NFL Network or Sunday ticket...bloodsuckers).

Oh right, what I really meant to say was - Best Damn News I've Heard All Day -- Polamalu, Big Snack and Spaeth will be ready to go on Sunday! Quoth zen master Mike Tomlin -- "All indications are that they will be fine." AND what's more, playing in place of McFadden (because he IS still injured) as the 3rd Corner this weekend will be rookie stud William Gay. So not only will we get our pro bowlers back in time to attempt to silence all the critics who said Super Bowl XL was a fluke, but we'll get to see what our promising young Louisville alum can do in regular season competition. Bonus.

Bad news is potentially no Hines Ward for the second straight week, and only the fourth time in the last 10 years (so I learned today). So [maybe] no scenes like the image inset. Also, apparently Big Ben hurt his vagina...I mean foot, when someone stepped on it in Sunday's debacle against Pittsburgh West. Gee, maybe if he were wearing a helmet...oh just kidding, come on, I love Ben.

Anyways, that's the injury update for today. 'Til tomorrow, take it easy Steeler Nation.

And Then There's That Other Thing...

Ok, so we've established that Sunday's loss was not a mere fluke but rather more the result of a Pittsburgh West team that exploited our weaknesses and just flat out beat us. But there was something else going on yesterday that's even more disconcerting...that would be injuries. Thus far, we've been lucky enough to avoid any significant injury losses, but that was not to be the case this past weekend.

I'm sure we all noticed. How could you ignore it? The main vacancy being at Strong Safety. However, we also were without Hines Ward and touchdown machine Matt Spaeth (both of which we knew of in advance), and lost "Big Snack" Casey Hampton, Casey's backup Chris Hoke, and Bryant McFadden all over the course of the game. Hopefully these injuries won't last far beyond the early part of this week. But what if they do? It certainly doesn't help to have them ailing even if they do come back.

Here's what I want to know -- why all the injuries across the league now? Is there something going on that we aren't recognizing? Is the game being played any differently? I'm pretty sure, if anything, the latest rules instituted by the NFL have made the game safer...and yet, everyone from Alex Smith to Cadillac Williams, Orlando Pace, Jake Delhomme and many many others find themselves inactive due to injury, some for the remainder of the season. Think about it...

As for OUR injured brethren, here's to a quick recovery! Get well soon boys, Seattle is waiting.

Injuries compound painful loss [Post-Gazette]

Tis The Season For Injuries???

Disclaimer: Do not take anything I ever say about injuries to mean that I don't care that players are getting hurt. I value player's safety just as much as the next guy. But as a self respecting blogger I have to tell it like it is...and at least try and put a humorous spin on it...






I couldn't help but notice that the first weekend of the 2007 NFL season was mired with injuries, including one that's threatening paralysis! Now, not to be a dick or anything (though one could make a case...) but this could be a good example of why the NFL should shorten the friggin' preseason. I'm sure there are people out there (Domski) who want to see guys get hurt, but I think most of us just want to see some quality football, and while there was still plenty of that this past weekend, I imagine the injuries suffered by some of the league's stars will have an impact on the competitive balance in this week's matchups. I mean, maybe 2, 3 preseason games instead of 4? Would that be so bad? Does anyone even really care about preseason?

Anyways, if you haven't already heard, here's a rundown of guys you shouldn't expect to see on the field for their respective franchises this weekend:Orlando Pace, Lito Sheppard, Eli Manning, Chad Pennington(when is this guy not injured), DJ Hackett, Mike Brown(a blow my fantasy team will definitely feel), Cadillac Williams, Chester Taylor, Jason Ferguson, and the list goes on...Course instead of reading that laundry list I could have just given you this link...but what would be the fun in that?

AND finally, in other news, Master of the NFL Universe, Bill Belichick and his rowdy band of pillagers are being investigated for allegedly "stealing signs" in Sunday's game against the Jets. After watching the highlights of that game, I find it hard to believe that anyone on the Pats staff needs to steal any signs, least of all from the Jets. I think they read them well enough on the fly...so if this is true, how sad. Has the Belichick-Mangini feud gotten that out of control? Yikes.