So much football. Football everywhere. It's in the trees like the Vietcong. Look, there it is, over there...
Bullshitting with you guys about the Many Faces of Willie Parker, the press conference stylings of Mike Tomlin, and the wonders of Photoshop has been fun. Real fun. But alas, what we've all been craving for the last six and a half months or so has finally arrived - training camp, and the return of Pittsburgh football.
Of course, in the last two days, I've seen way more Steelers news than I can even keep up with. If you can, then please teach me. But let's be honest, the two most important/encouraging/puzzling/troubling and of course, sexy "stories" are...
Big Snack Apparently Did His Nickname Proud
So I guess all that talk about Casey Hampton not being at OTAs might have actually meant something. It seems the already delightfully plump Nose Tackle ate just a few too many twinkies this offseason, because ah...well, he showed up looking "overweight" and failed to complete a conditioning run.
Now, all I'm saying is - the guy's already listed at 325 pounds. How much weight would he have to gain to look "overweight?" Ok, you're right. Not important. Anyways, I'm sure I don't have to tell any of you that the current Defensive Line is thinner than Calista Flockhart circa 1998. And well, Hampton is the anchor of that line. Not that I don't trust Chris Hoke. Any guy that looks that much like Vader has gotta be worth something. But he's no Hampton. Few are. Bottom Line - send treadmills to St. Vincent College, care of Casey Hampton. Also, if you happen to have Richard Simmons and/or Jenny Craig's phone numbers, you should probably go ahead and send those too.
Oh yeah, Troy and Kemoeatu are joining Hampton on the PUP list.
Moving right along...
The Gang's All Here
All picks signed with time to spare. Mendenhall and Sweed are in Latrobe, ready to mix it up. Let's just hope Jeff Reed doesn't get his hooks into them until at least next week.
Not that we really thought there was going to be a holdout. But you never know. So we can all rest a little easier knowing we've got
Wreckingball Mendenhall for five years, and Speed Sweed for four. Sounds like four to five years of Offensive fireworks to me.
It's like a wise man once told me - "No guac, let's rock."
Other than that, we'll see how this beast unfolds. I don't imagine there'll be many surprises. But there sure shouldn't be a shortage of things to talk about. So, who's psyched for training camp? Anyone else making the pilgrimage to Latrobe? And most importantly, when are we drinking?
Oh, and as usual, here's a recap of what you missed this weekend while you were busy enjoying the fruits of truly American innovation...
- Just a hunch, but guessing this one isn't about Casey Hampton.
- So does this mean Cleveland has superseded Steely McBeam?
- Jeff Reed - subtlety is not strong with this one.
- Issues? We don't need no stinking issues.
- Seriously, what's with all the negativity? This is day one.
That's One For The Other Thumb. Tell all your friends.