Noobs...

I know what I said the other day about the Ravens 1st round selection, Michael Oher, but that was before he said...

"I'm going to do everything I possibly can to get them to beat Pittsburgh."

Oh, is that so?

Hey kid, here's a tip - Maybe you should at least sign a contract before you talk about beating the defending Super Bowl (and AFC, and Division) Champs.

The difference here is, unlike Ray Lewis, I doubt Silverback will put a bounty on Michael Oher. But that's only because he doesn't need bounties. He destroys everything in his path regardless.

Innocuous statement? Sure. Isn't he just saying he wants to contribute? Sure. But that doesn't mean I can't blog about it. That's why I make the rules. Besides, it's the offseason. What the hell else am I going to write about?

PS - Nice baby blue suit, fruit salad. Kids these days...

[Epilogue ~ Just in case it wasn't obvious to you, as with everything else around here, this is just a joke. If I were drafted by the Ravens, I'd be talking about beating the Steelers too. But then, if I were to have written this post about how it was an appropriate comment, that wouldn't have been nearly as fun. So get off my ass, ok? Thanks. xoxoxoxoxo, Cotter]

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Terrell Suggs is an asshole. What else do you want me to say? He's running his mouth all around about how the Ravens've got some "bounty" on Hines Ward's head. Idiot.

First of all, if you're going to have a bounty, you can't talk about it. That's like rule #1 of a bounty - Don't talk about the bounty.

Second of all, no. You are stupid. This is the dumbest thing you've probably ever done. Also, your gums look like they're eating your teeth. Mr. Ed called, he wants his jaws back.

Third of all, your nickname...sucks. T-Sizzle? God, I hope you didn't strain yourself brainstorming that one. Oh, I get it. It's functional and also cool sounding. Two things in one. Fantastic. The man-horse from the Old Spice commercial would be real proud of you. Who gives a shit?

Terrell Suggs, shut up, dude. Fact is, you're probably scared that Hines Ward is gonna cold cock you like the little bitch you are. Admit it, you like Appletinis.

Have an Appletini yourself while reading these links...

This guy would still take Eli over Big Ben? Maybe that's why I've never heard of him [Fox Sports]

This guy needs to knock it off [PSAMP]

NFL launches "investigation" of Ravens [Post-Gazette]

Quoth Troy - "As a matter of fact, they were going to take pictures on how a perfect brain looks..." [Trib]

Ditka defends Hines, says NFL should remove face masks. I love Ditka [Post-Gazette]

"Anything I (expletive) want to do." You stay classy, Plax [SteelCityInsider]

Secured!

Not pictured: Snipers Silverback and The Wood.

As they say, a win is a win.

Things that were awesome...
1. Silverback and LaMarr Woodley combining for four of five total sacks
2. Santonio's catch and run on the play that sparked all our momentum
3. Jeff Reed
4. Mewelde Moore and Carey Davis stepping up
5. Winning and being 1st in the division with a leg up on Bawlmore and Cleveland

Things that were not awesome...
1. Joe Flacco marching the Ratbirds down the field to tie it up
2. Multiple false start penalties on same drive
3. Mitch Berger's stat line - Average Punt = 40 yards
4. Listening to Jaws whisper sweet nothings about Joe Flacco all night
5. The game ending at 12:15 or some such ungodly hour for a blogger with a real job

Things that sucked...
1. The 1st half
2. Big Ben IN the 1st half
3. Bruce Arians' PLAY CALLING in the 1st half
4. Mendenhall and Simmons to IR?
5. Ray Lewis comparing himself to Michael Strahan

"Full" game recap post may follow later this morning. Until then...what say you, Steeler brethren?

Oh, and while I'm getting my act together, witness the celebratory idiocy...

Ever since I was a lower case c
But now I'm a big C
The girls see I got the money
$100 $5 bills y'all...

OFTOT's Steelers Gameday Liveblog...

You know how this works. Tobiathan liveblogs below. We all follow along in awe of his Red Bull-fueled, flying fingers, periodically interjecting comments and encouragement, like "Hey man, can you order me a pizza? Thanks." Kidding. I'll let Tobiathan take it away now...

Purple Makes Domski Look Fat...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

It's Been Real. It's Been Fun. But It Hasn't Been Real Fun...

Yes folks, despite his own bravado and general assholishness, today marks the end of the Brian Billick era in BMore.

Let me be one of the first to say - happy trails dick, I hear they might need an Offensive Coordinator in Detroit.

PS - a little birdie Ravens fan tells me owner Steve Bisciotti played golf with the Chin this past weekend. Will this lure Cowher back to the NFL and the AFC North sooner than we thought? Yeah, probably not even true...Ravens fans are liars.

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Billick Fired After 9 Seasons in Baltimore [Associated Press]

Putting The "Special" In Special Teams...

[From left to right - Chuck Batch, Face Me Ike Taylor, Willie "Hands" Reid]

“Right now, it’s balls to the wall. It’s the playoffs. If you ain’t ready to go in the playoffs, you don’t belong here."
- Tyrone Carter

Departing from general OFTOT redux format, I won't say much about last night's game. Partially because many of my Steelers blogging compatriots have done such a stellar job already and partially because I'm still recovering from the case of Rolling Rock ponies I drank last night. However, I will say this - meaningless game or not, if you fumble kickoffs, throw untimely interceptions, and can't stop a 3rd/4th string running back, you are not going to win any game, let alone a playoff game. If what we saw yesterday was a preview of what we have to look forward to next Saturday against Jacksonville, then I'm going to need to main line vodka to watch that game.

Of course, the turnover problem was all Willie Reid and Charlie Batch - two gentleman that are not likely to see the field next week. But the more troubling challenge, one that could remain, is not stopping the run. Musa Smith/Cory Ross (No Name Back 1/No Name Back 2) ran for 155 combined yards yesterday. All I have to say about that is - have fun with Fred Taylor and MJD, guys.

Oh, and this off season, somebody better teach Ike Taylor to catch. Sort that sitch out Tomlin.

So guys, how do you feel about the playoffs after yesterday? Will we get it together enough to stop the Jaguars two headed monster and make Garrard beat us with his arm? Who will return kicks if Rossum can't go? If this game was so meaningless then how come I'm still pissed we lost?

GAME RECAPS:
[Behind The Steel Curtain]
[Blitzburgh Report]
[Die Hard Steel]
[Doubt About It]
[Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies]

[Associated Press]
[Post-Gazette]
[SteelCityInsider]
[Tribune-Review]

Wake Up Dicks, We Got A Game to Play...

"I'll tell you what, if you can find someone in this locker room to tell you they want to take a break, come tell me. Come tell me."
- Alan Faneca

"On top of that, it's Baltimore. That's one of our biggest rivals. They had a lot of comments they said after the first game that didn't sit too well with a lot of guys in this locker room."
- James Farrior

"I don't care for them much. There are some guys on that team I just don't like and they don't like me. It works good in that environment."
- Max Starks

The Patriots are undefeated. Might as well concede the playoffs...

I mean, we have a game against the Ravens today...let's chat.

You're A Good Man Charlie Batch...

"I felt good about this football team, and the more I got to work with them I started to feel better and better. I am not surprised by any stretch. I am not satisfied, either. We have more work to do."
- Mike Tomlin

Alright ladies (that's right, you heard me), here's the deal - Cotter had to get a haircut and drink a couple of well deserved beers last night, so he had less time for things like, oh, you know, editing this post and shit. So bear with me if this thing ends up making little to no sense. It's been a long season, I'm trying to make time for the important things in life. Like scoring severe style points, and well, drinking beer.

Moving on...

First things first - if you're a serious Steeler fan, you may already know this, but...guess who just signed Chidi Iwuoma? No, not the Steelers...The Tennessee Titans. Interesting that they sign a former Steeler on the eve of the playoffs in which they just might be playing the Steelers. Ok, let's face it, we know they really signed him because he's a solid Special Teams performer and you can never have enough of those (ahem ahem, Bob Ligashesky...). But I guess this means he's probably not coming back to Pittsburgh anytime soon...damn.

Next, by now you should be aware that it was all but made official yesterday - Big Ben shall not play this Sunday, nor shall Marvell Smith. Ben is still a little less than 100%. However, the move to sit him is more a precautionary measure than anything else. Marvell's exclusion, on the other hand, is just a bit more serious. Marvell underwent surgery yesterday to repair a disc problem in his back. And while the team is saying they're "cautiously optimistic" that he could return by the AFC Divisional Round, I wouldn't put any money on it.

Now here's where normally on a Friday I would talk about what the Steelers SHOULD do to win Sunday's game. However, being that this game is effectively meaningless, I strongly considered not doing that this week...and then after about 5 seconds I reconsidered. So without further ado, here are some things the Steelers SHOULD do this weekend. And keep in mind, we're seriously compromising the integrity of the exercise here...so lower your expectations...

OFFENSE

• Show Us Some Future Potential ~ And by this I mean show ME what #3 RB Gary Russell can do. In case you missed it in the comments section of yesterday's post - I'm pretty interested in seeing how Russell can perform in a regular season game. At Minnesota, he was poised to become the starter after an 1100 yard, 18 TD season (12 games at least) in which he shared ball carrying duties with Laurence Maroney. Then he failed out or some dumb shit like that, thus never getting a chance to prove what he was fully capable of as the undisputed #1. All I'm saying is he looked good in preseason and I like his college record (playing, not studying), so he could just inject some added interest into this otherwise marginal game. Hear that Tomlin - Gary. Russell. Sort it out...


• Try and Find a Rhythm ~ As of late, the Steelers Offense has really come together. Last week, albeit against the Rams, the Steelers only punted twice. That's two times out of 10 drives. And of our 41 points, 35 were off touchdowns. That's what I call being effective, and that's the kind of rhythm I'd like to see going into the post season. Of course this is probably a moot point since the majority of our starters will be spending a significant portion of this game on the bench. But I gotta write something...I guess...


• That's All I Got... ~ No, just kidding. Um, last point -- Offensive Line, I know this is a lot to ask and there's little to no chance of it happening, but could you please try and maybe pass block, like even a little bit. Especially you Sean Mahan and Willie Colon, we'll all be watching. Larry Zierling, put Shiteaters.com away and do some coaching. Tell these assholes to use that size for something other than making dents in the turf with their backs. Sort it out.

DEFENSE

• Show Us Some Future Potential ~ Remember Lawrence Timmons? LaMarr Woodley? They were our top 2 picks in last years draft. But while other 1st and 2nd round picks like Patrick Willis are out making the pro bowl and creating nightmares for opposing offenses, these guys have been gathering splinters from riding the bench. No, it's not their fault they haven't been starting or getting large chunks of playing time (nor should they be with Silverback, Foote and Farrior around). But so far, Timmons' claim to fame has been the infamous Ricky Williams stomp and Woodley has been promising yet restrained. I'd like to see one or both of these guys get some decent time Sunday and maybe see if they can generate a pass rush. Because we all know Clark Haggans ain't taking care of business.


• Calling All Pass Rushers ~ Jonathan Ogden or not, the Ravens O-line ain't exactly awful. They're at least half decent, I'd say. So this just might be some good practice for the likes of Silverback, Farrior and Foote (maybe even los Rookies, see above). IF the aforementioned, any of them, see decent playing time, I'd like to see them spend it in the Ravens backfield, chasing down and tackling Troy Smith. Smith is neither fast like Vince Young, nor strong like Big Ben. So this shouldn't be quite the tall order it might normally be. Bottom line - we got ONE sack last week. This week let's try and build on that. Let's go for...uh, two sacks. Hey, lack of success = modest goals.


• Stop. The. Run. ~ I'm not trying to mask this with any clever language, just, stop the god damned run. The Ravens are starting their #3, Musa Smith. He's no slouch, but he's certainly no Fred Taylor or MJD. The Steelers ought to be able to shut him down. OUGHT TO be able to...This is the last chance Kirschke, and Eason will get to exhibit their best Aaron Smith impressions before the playoffs. So I expect them to use it accordingly. Or Ryan McBean, whoever. Hey, maybe McBean might even do the job well. Maybe we SHOULD give him a shot. Anyways, the run - stop it. Thanks.

Well that was borderline painful. Hopefully you're still with me and not cursing me for wasting your valuable time.

Look, if we can gain anything from this game - I say it's that we take Bart Scott up on his offer to give Larry Foote the key to beating the Patriots. We all might know what that key is, but judging by what we saw three weeks ago in Foxborough, the Steelers don't.

Let's face it, we just have to get through this game, hope for a win, try not to get anyone hurt, maybe try and establish a little rhythm and generally make sure our team is in good shape for next week's Wild Card game against either the Jags, Brownies or Titans. That's all.

So guys, what do you think we SHOULD be looking for Sunday? Who will you be watching? Are any of you planning on going to this game? And of course, the real question - Will the Browns put Brady Quinn in for the season finale? I, for one, will be waiting on the edge of my seat to find out...

PS - We WILL be doing the weekly gameday discussion session this Sunday, despite the fact that this game is pretty lackluster. Come join us as we discuss the game, the playoffs and maybe even Mini Ponies...if Tec shows up that is.

PPS - Just because I can, here's a picture of Brian Billick as Robocop...


REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Arians Won't Change Plan for New Players [SteelCityInsider]
Big Ben Expected to Sit Sunday [Post-Gazette]
Smith Has Back Surgery - Return Unknown [Post-Gazette]
Ravens' Scott Changes Tune [Tribune-Review]
Some Ravens Fans Throwing In Towel [Baltimore Sun]
Buy Ravens Tix [Craigslist - Baltimore]
Troy Smith: Bring on The 3-4 [Baltimore Sun]
Davenport Focused On Chance As Starter [Post-Gazette]

Brian Billick Has A Whole Bag of "Sh" With Your Name On It...

"Looking at the Ravens, they are a rival of ours. I know they have fallen on some tough times, but you can throw records out of the window when we play Baltimore. They’re going to play to win, we’re going to play to win."
- Mike Tomlin

Yep, there's no better division, full of heated rivalries, than the AFC North. Whether it's Bengals-Browns, Ravens-Bengals, Steelers-Ravens, etc., you pretty much know it will be a hard fought game. Normally that is...

However, as far as this Sunday's matchup goes - the Steelers have already won the division, and since the only way to clinch a #3 seed is for the Chargers to lose against the Raiders while we beat the Ravens, this game does not really mean much more than division bragging rights. That's enough for the Ravens no doubt, but for the Steelers, some of whom are literally limping into the post season, it might be hard to justify throwing them out there against a physical team like the Ravens, who will be on a manhunt. I guess what I'm saying is - I'd like to win this game, but I'd prefer to try and do it without Big Ben, Troy Polamalu, Marvell Smith and anyone else who is still nursing a shoulder or an ankle or a back, etc. etc.

And honestly, it wouldn't exactly be an unfair fight to put our #2s out there against the Ravens. Mostly because, just like many of the teams with losing records in 2007, the Ravens come into this weekend's game with a laundry list of injuries. In actuality we'll be facing a lot of their #2s and in some cases, #3s. The full Ravens injury report looks like this:

Steve McNair - Out (IR)
Kyle Boller - Out
Willis McGahee - Out
Mike Anderson - Out (Maybe - Limited in practice)
Demetrious Williams - Out (Though I hear he's "intent" on playing)
Michael Clayton - Out (Maybe - Did not practice)
Todd Heap - Out
Quinn Sypniewski - Out
Daniel Wilcox (#3 TE) - Out (Maybe - Did not practice)
Jonathan Ogden - Out (Maybe - Limited in practice)
Kelly Gregg - Out
Trevor Pryce - Out (IR)
Ray Lewis - Out
Chris McAllister - Out (IR)
Samari Rolle - Out (IR)

And the list may go on, I don't even know. Maybe even Brian Billick is injured...errrr, nevermind, I forgot - Brian Billick is impervious to all conventional weapons.

Injuries aside, the Ravens are pretty much who we think they are - anemic offense and bruising defense. After starting the season as the defending AFC North champs and amassing a 4-2 record through their 1st six games, the Ravens have dropped EVERY LAST ONE of their last NINE games, which brings them home to BMore this Sunday a disappointing 4-11.

It's hard to compare us to them given the troubles they have had this season, but I'll do it anyway, because (a) I'm a dick, and (b) This is just what I do on Thursdays and god forbid I break routine. Check out the numbers below and we'll talk a little more after.

OFFENSE
Rushing Yards: BMore ~ 1617 (#18) | Pit ~ 2122 (#3)
Passing Yards: BMore ~ 3137 (#23) | Pit ~ 3200 (#20)
Total Yards: BMore ~ 4754 (#23) | Pit ~ 5322 (#10)
Points Scored: BMore ~ 248 (#25) | Pit ~ 372 (#8)


DEFENSE
Rushing Yds. Allowed: BMore ~ 1222 (#2) | Pit ~ 1258 (#3)
Passing Yds. Allowed: BMore ~ 3522 (#18) | Pit ~ 2896 (#4)
Total Yards Allowed: BMore ~ 4744 (#6) | Pit ~ 4154 (#1)
Points Against: BMore ~ 363 (#24) | Pit ~ 242 (#3)

So...the Ravens Offense...uh, what Offense? Previously, this is where I would have mentioned Willis McGahee, the threats he presents and maybe even Steve McNair or Kyle Boller and the treats they present, but none of those guys are playing on Sunday. In their respective places will be a tandem of Smiths - Musa at RB and Troy at QB. On top of that, without Todd Heap and Demetrious Williams to throw to, or Jonathon Ogden to block, things might be pretty tough for the Smiths and the rest of the Ravens Offense. Still, Todd Collins has the Redskins on a roll so I guess anything's possible...and plus, we know that even the Ravens 3rd stringers would love to beat the Steelers and contribute to keeping them from securing a #3 seed for the playoffs. So I'm not counting the Ravens O out by any means.

Anyways, the Ravens Defense...well, it's the Ravens Defense. Ray Lewis or not, these guys are going to be hungry and looking for any opportunity to HIT us HARD. Bart Scott (the Mad Backer) and Terrell Suggs (T-Sizzle) are probably already salivating at the idea. Fittingly, those two, along with Safety Ed Reed are going to be our biggest "worries" on Sunday. But beyond them, the Ravens D Line is down 2 of 3 starters and the secondary is down 2 of 4. Bottom line - no point risking Big Ben's health putting him out there against guys who have nothing more to play for than spilling blood.

Overall, like I've already said - really, this game means nothing. Even if we were to win and San Diego was upset by Oakland, giving us the 3 seed, we'd still have to play against the best (you know who I'm talking about) if we have any hopes of winning the ultimate prize. So I personally am fine with the #4 spot. Bring on the Jags.

What do you guys think? Does it make sense to rest the starters? Are you worried about what's left of BMore's defense? Do you think Troy Smith does a good mini-me impression?

Oh, and speaking of - in case you're wondering where Mini Me is in the image above...see below.


REFERENCE MATERIAL:
2007 Ravens Stats [Pro-football-reference]
More Ravens Stats [ESPN]
2007 Steelers Stats [Pro-football-reference]
Ravens Injuries [ESPN]
Steelers Will Go For #3 Seed [Steelers.com]
Tomlin Outlines Injuries, Baltimore Game Plan [KDKA]
Motivated? For Ravens? Steelers Say No Problem [Associated Press]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Your Homecoming Queen - James "Silverback" Harrison...

"We look at it as we have been scheduled for their homecoming."
- Brian Billick

Big Ben. James Harrison...PERIOD! Ok, no, that's not all, but it easily could be.

Godsend - 13/16, 209 yards, 5 TDs
Silverback - 3 Forced Fumbles (1 Recovered), 1 Interception, 3.5 Sacks, 9 Tackles¹

Consequently, today marks the 1^st day of the official One For The Other Thumb - "Vote Silverback for Pro Bowl" campaign. If you watched that game last night, heard about it, or are reading about it right now, you're aware that few of our defenders deserve it more. Steeler fans, get your shit together and VOTE ASAP.

Now, I'll be honest, due to a number of unfortunate circumstances including, but not limited to, a legal research final/ass raping and my car getting booted (but not towed thankfully), I missed about 95% of the 1st half. All I know is - I walked by the bar at approximately 9:15 after the Steelers had just scored to go up 14-0. By the time I got into my apartment, the score had ballooned to 35-7. What happened? I didn't really much care. The point was the Steelers were asserting themselves over the Ravens with efficiency. What I learned later was that there had been 2 fumbles, an interception and 3 more scores for Big Ben and the boys. Needless to say I didn't ask any more questions. I just sat back and enjoyed the rest of the show...not that there was much action after the half or anything...

So fortunately (or un depending on your preference) for you guys, beyond that, I don't have much to say. The Steelers did everything I would have asked them to do. But for good measure, because what would a One For The Other Thumb post be without bullet points, my game highlights (don't get too excited, it's nothing analytical):

• All 5 feet 11 inches and 225 pounds of Jeff Reed talking shit to 6'8", 286 pound heavyweight, Trevor Pryce after a field goal. Steeler fans, Jeff Reed has marbles...of Steel...

AND


• Mel Blount calling the Ravens performance "embarrassing." Plus, Michele Tafoya consequently pleasuring his ego for a bit talking about how the league changed a number of rules because of Blount's physical style of play. I was actually hoping Blount would put some pads on and take a run at McNair for old times sake...but you know, only room for so much dominance in one night. PS Mel Blount is a cowboy, get it straight.

AND


• James Harrison steamrolling Ed Reed, forcing a fumble that went flying through the air such that you didn't even know what happened. Silverback Attack and a half!

AND


• Hines Ward LEVELING not one but TWO Ravens All Pros - Bart Scott and Ed Reed. Hope you like the way that turf tastes ED! The hit Hines planted on Reed was comparable to Anthony Smith's lickin' on TJ Houshmansacklicker last week. If Reed has balls of Steel, Hines' scrotum is solid gold...I mean balls are gold plated...maybe too much talk about balls at this point. Let's stop there.

With that, bring on the Brownies! I'll have plenty more on that later tomorrow night or Wednesday. So as usual, let the commenting commence. Give me all your thoughts - Silverback? Big Ben? San Antonio? Mike Tomlin looks a lot like Omar Epps? Why do the Steelers have an ambiguously gay mascot but no cheerleaders? I'll take all comers...

FOOTNOTE:
¹ Good enough for an NFL record - 1st player to record 3.5 sacks, 1 INT and 1 fumble recovery.

Game Recaps:
[Post-Gazette]
[Tribune-Review]
[Associated Press]