Purple Makes Domski Look Fat...

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Let Me Clip, Your Dirty Wings...

Gold star to whomever tells me what song that's from. And no Googling, jagoffs. Do this one eau naturale.

Anyways, we've talked about it all week - this Sunday is what we should consider our first true test of the '08 season. We head to the City of Angst Brotherly Love for a high stakes duel with the Killadelphia Eagles. The OTHER dirty birds of the North (original dirty birds of North = Ravens) are 1-1, but have already put up 38 points in two consecutive weeks. Alright, so one of those weeks they had the Rams, against whom even my little sister could put up 38 points. But don't let that fool you into thinking that they don't have an efficient offense.

So this week, I'll be watching for...

1. Lay Down The Law
If there's one thing we don't do well, it's defend those quick passes (you all remember the Patriots killing us slowly with Wes Welker last December). But with Lawrence Timmons patrolling the flat, perhaps we can keep those two or three yard gains to just two or three yards. Sure, Brian Westbrook is shifty. But he's not going to run you over, you know that. So keep your eyes on his chest and as soon as he gets the ball, give him a pop in the mouth to remember (ala last year's hit on Chad Ocho Cinco...and his greeeeeel).

2. Send in the Wreckingball
Ok, I'm a little uneasy even saying this given his fumbling problems and Tomlin's apparent reluctance to use him regularly, but this week, we need to get Rashard Mendenhall involved. The Eagles love to blitz, no secret there. So how do you handle that? Run it down their throats. And not just run it, but run it with the bigger, stronger, Wreckingball. Of course, this is in tandem with the fast one, Willie Parker. Can't have one without the other. If Wreckingball gets going, then start looking for those big plays. Especially because Philly's on a short week after getting pounded for 41 points on Monday. They may be relatively recovered, but they can't be completely 100%.

3. Help Ike, Help You
Sure, the Eagles like to dink and dunk, but make no mistake - they can throw the ball down the field just as easily. And if the dink and dunk method is working, this is even more apropos. Desean Jackson is a fast little bugger. Reminds me of Dante Hall or Devin Hester. I don't have much faith that Ike Taylor or Bryant McFadden can cover him all alone. So they'll need Troy and Ryan Clark to support them as much as possible. If for no other reason than to whisper sweet nothings a little encouragement/wisdom in their ears from time to time.

Other than that, I'll be watching the Filthy Philly crowd to see what kind of antics they can dream up. That should be one of the most entertaining parts of the game, actually. I'm psyched already. They need to start playing these games quicker.

Thoughts? Predictions on score? Can I interest you in a Pat's cheesesteak, perhaps?

And as usual, for the domestically savvy among us, check out TheStarterWife's Friday Football Foodie. This week, Parmesan Crisps, Blue Cheese Potatoes and Chris Cooleys. Mmmm, sounds yummy. I mean, all heterosexual here. Move along, Brady Quinn...

That Was Just Cleveland Being Cleveland...

Well, we avoided the unthinkable. If the Browns had won that game, I just might've thrown something at the TV. Can you imagine the shit storm we'd have to endure if god forbid, the currently overhyped incarnation of the Browns finally beat us after losing 16 out of the last 17, including the last nine (now 10) straight? I can. And it wouldn't have been pretty. There's nothing worse than delusional Browns fans thinking they've actually earned something.

Anyways, we did indeed escape with a narrow victory, 10-6, though we pretty much controlled the entire game. Once again, conditions ruined the day and likely some of the game plan. For example, we saw basically (with a couple of exceptions) hide nor hair of Wreckingball. And understandably so. He's had fumbling problems in good conditions. So imagine how nervous Tomlin must've been about putting him in last night. But yeah, despite the weather, a lot of guys stepped up big, including...

1. The "Offensive" Line
I think after last night I can remove the quotes around the word, "Offensive." Because those guys were on their game. Case in point - the Ben to San Antonio 48 (?) yard bomb that Ben threw from deep in our own territory. He had a solid 10 seconds on that one. Add the masterful job Kemoeatu did pulling and you can understand why I am so pleased with this unit. Anyone who doesn't consider voting for them in the poll to your left obviously didn't watch that game last night.

2. Bryant McFadden
Well, I noted on Saturday that with Deshea out, and McFadden looking for a new contract, this was his time to make his case as the starter of the future. Not that there was much doubt. But he came through big, covering Braylon Edwards rather masterfully. He even nabbed a poorly underthrown Derek Anderson pass in the first half that led to the only touchdown of the game. Coincidentally, did anyone else know that ball was going to be picked the moment it left Anderson's hand? I called it literally as it was being thrown. He lobbed that out there and McFadden took full advantage. Bravo, young one. The force seems strong with you.

3. Troy Polamalu
All the evidence you need was the play in which Troy HURDLED TWO OFFENSIVE LINEMAN to diffuse a Jamal Lewis run long before it might've been otherwise. Sure, he didn't make the tackle. But as Domski put it after the game - imagine what those two Offensive Lineman must've been thinking when Polamalu jumped OVER them...complete dumbfoundedness, no doubt. Rendering them rather useless as blockers. Plus, I don't have to remind you that he snagged the interception in the 2nd Quarter that ruined one of Cle-heave-land's (credit: Joey Porter's Pit Bulls) only real drives of the game. This is why Troy Polamalu is invaluable. And thank god he looks like the Troy we know and love. I don't know who that guy was wearing 43 for most of last year. Because it didn't look like the Troy we've seen thus far in '08. Well played, Troy. I guess whatever Christy said to you at Chili's must've hit home.

So all in all, I'm pleased. Under normal conditions, I would've liked to have put up approximately 30 more points on the Clowns. But as I said earlier, a win is a win. I'll take it because of the implications.

That said, we've got the Killadelphia Desert Eagles (.50) next Sunday in Filthadelphia. And we've got a day on them. So let's hope the Cowgirls ride herd on them tonight to wear them out a bit. Then again, if you listen to the media pundits, the Eagles are unstoppable. I mean, they beat the Rams 38-3. And the Rams are clearly a Super Bowl caliber Defense. So we might as well expect to get rained on...yeeeaaaahhhh, right.

Is it wrong that I'm already looking forward to Sunday?

So I ask you all - What did you think of that game? Who's performance did you like/not like? "Special" Teams? What about that cheap shot Shaun Rogers put on Ben? And hey, how awesome would it be if Murdermore (that's Baltimore, in case you hadn't guessed) beat the Gowns next week?

Either way, I think this is worth re-posting for a second look...

I think I'll have some new pics to add after this one...

Like Two Peas In A Pod...

Rashard "Wreckingball" Mendenhall, and Champion sports wear. It's like Rob Schneider said in Big Daddy, "they go together like lamb and tuna fish."

All kidding aside, Wreckingball may not be flashing any hardware just yet, but he is a Champion in one respect - he's Champion sports wear's newest athlete representative. And not only is this significant because of the obvious correlation, but also because Wreckingball is Champion's first athlete representative in the past 10 years. Clearly they were waiting for a special talent like ol' Rashard.

No, in all seriousness, this is pretty cool for Mendenhall. Champion actually chose him not just for his on-field prowess, but also his fun attitude and his passion for family, friends, music and writing. It's all part of their - "How You Play" - campaign, which will bring you a number of ads/billboards (see image below) in the Pittsburgh area starting this month, and potentially culminate in some national TV exposure for Mendenhall, as the campaign progresses.


Smart choice, Champion. Well played.

In case you're interested - below are some images of Wreckingball looking all badass in Champion gear. If you like what you see, you know what to do...











PS - On a semi-related note - I was hoping to learn who the last Champion athlete representative was, because I happen to own a Barry Foster Champion jersey circa 1993 (not that it's at all related). But alas, I never did find out. Oh well, let speculation abound (in the comments).

What is This, The Mike Tomlin School of PR?

Ok, first off this morning - what the hell went on in NY yesterday?

"There's great respect for the Rooney family in the National Football League, and we want to do everything we can to ensure that the Steelers continue to be operated by the Rooneys and the way they've been operated."

"[It's] another step in the process."

"We had a good dialogue, good communication about the issues at hand and I think we have a better understanding of where things are."

Mike Tomlin, is that you? Oh no, it's Roger Goodell. Wow, that's enough ambiguities to choke a horse Steely McBeam. Ok, no but seriously though, what are they talking about? These quotes are Oscar-worthy. Hey Goodell, does Pacino know you stole his line about "great respect for the...family?"

Secondly, did this guy seriously rank the Steelers' backup QB behind Matt Leinart, Chris Redman, Matt Moore and Gus Frerotte? #17 out of 32? Surely he can't be talking about Chuck Batch? Well, actually, he's not. The backup he's referring to is current backup, Lord Byron "Does Not Understand The Mechanics of Throwing A Football" Leftwich. Plus, he ranked Kyle Boller (being honestly evaluated as the potential starter in Baltimore) behind all of them at #20. So um, in that case, fair assessment. Carry on, Don Banks.

Lastly, Hines Ward had a revelation about how to help fix Wreckingball's recent fumbling problem. The same god damned revelation every blogger who made the obvious joke did. Yes, we all saw "The Program." Paying people to try and make Wreckingball fumble? Now, you're just being a dick. He already has to carry the ball everywhere with him. Knock that crap off. And also, this is news? Seriously? Wow.

Sorry guys, this post was the result of what they call a creativity fail. I'll try and come up with something better for tomorrow. I'm embarrassed. Embarrassed, really.

Any burning topics you'd like to discuss? I hear Perez Hilton thinks the Cracker Barrel is homo-unfriendly. Guess nobody told Perez that Domski used to work there...

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Rooney bros. conclude meeting with NFL Commissioner [Post-Gazette]
Goodell calls meeting with Rooney brothers 'productive' [Trib]
Ranking each team's No. 2 QBs [SI.com]
Ward, Steelers Teach Mendenhall Not To Fumble [Trib]

Jeff Reed Is A Golden God...

I'm not going to lie to you, Saturday night was kind of a stressful experience. Sure, we won. And yes, it's only preseason. But we had four chances to get six and each time we had to settle for three. If we have any hopes of beating the likes of New England, San Diego, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Dallas, and umm, pretty much any of the other teams we play this season, we'd better figure out how to put the ball in the end zone. Quick.

Nevertheless, Jeff Reed came to play. And he just may have gotten the best workout of the day. Four field goals, hitting from 35, 37, 43 and 47, the last of which being the longest, and coming with just four seconds left on the clock. So I think what I'm saying is, game ball goes to Jeff Reed. He may be quirky, outlandish, and perhaps a little out of his mind. But he's also a damn good kicker and looking to be rock solid gold going into the regular season.

Anyways, big thanks again to Tobiathan, who ripped some nasty live blogging in the comments of Saturdays gameday discussion post. I greatly appreciate him doing it. Especially because for the second straight week, the game was blacked out in NYC. Well played, Steelbiathan.

So let's now take a look at the good, the bad, and the Browns. Err...I think what I meant there was, "the ugly." But using the Browns to illustrate that point was probably pretty obvious to you then, wasn't it?

The GOOD

1. The Defense
Pressure, check! Coverage, check! Turnovers, check! Of course, they weren't flawless. But I don't really ever expect them to be. Still, despite allowing Adrian Peterson to get six on a one yard run, they held last year's Rookie standout to just 21 yards on 12 carries, amassed three out of the team's four total sacks, and Face Me Ike stepped in front of a Gus Frerotte pass for an unexpected, yet completely welcomed, interception. In other news, that may have been the most commas ever used in one sentence...

2. Willie Reid
I'm still not sure I'd rather have him on the active roster than Dallas Baker. But he definitely helped his cause Saturday night in the receiving category. 5 catches for 55 yards, including a 22 yarder. Nothing to shake a stick at. Plus, we're talking about four catches of Lord Byron's bullets (one from Big Ben). That dude throws the ball around like it's a shotput. So I'm not going to pretend like he's Hines Ward or something. But it's nice to know that Reid can perform when he knows he's on the bubble...

3. That Photoshop on the Gameday Post
I'm not one to go around touting my work as creative genius. But that image was definitely one of the cooler things I've ever done. Like, in my life. Way cooler than the time I did multiple beer bongs and jello shots and ate penne vodka with my bare hands. Which was, Saturday night...

Moving on...

The BAD

1. FWP aka Master Fly W. Large
Granted, Minnesota is definitely one of the toughest run Defenses in the league. But 18 yards on 10 carries is pretty terrible. That's an average of 1.8 yards per carry. And four of the 10 carries were for no gain or negative gain. Ouch. Nevertheless, I can't say this will have any more than a temporary impact on my opinion of the Fast one. I'd like to chalk it up to not wanting to do anything to get himself hurt. At least that'll help me sleep better at night...

2. Big Ben
A 67 passer rating? I can only think this was Ben channeling his inner Rex Grossman. Completing only 10 of 17 (59%) for just 65 yards, he threw behind the receivers and danced around the pocket like an excitable high school senior hopped up on Robitussin and Caffeine pills at the prom. Of course, the line wasn't exactly helping at all times (see below). But it definitely looked like there were a number of miscues that amounted to our own personal Super Hero's underwhelming performance. I'll probably give it another week before I call for his head, though...

3. The Offensive Line
I'd try to do something funny here. But there was nothing funny about the Offensive Line's performance on Saturday. They clearly weren't getting any push, as evidenced by FWP's stat line, and on some plays, they looked like they were tackling dummies. And if anyone knows why Willie Colon is still starting over Max Starks, please share. In case you missed it, Señor Colon was responsible for one pretty bad sack on Big Ben in which he allowed Ray Edwards to go pretty much untouched. Certainly can't crucify him for one sack, but I mean...yeah...

The UGLY

1. Wreckingball's Concrete Hands
If you're Rashard Mendenhall, there's one thing you can't do. And that's cough up the football. You've been brought in to run between the tackles and get those tough yards that a smaller, quicker back (read: FWP) can't get. It's pretty tough to do that if you can't keep the ball in your hands. That said, one exhibition game does not a season make. And I'm certainly not expecting this trend to continue. Plus, he did gain 79 yards on 15 carries. So overall, I'm still encouraged by the young blood.

2. The NFL
Honestly, if you're going to make us play these preseason games, the least you could do is make sure people can see them. This was the second straight week that I found the game blacked out in the NYC region. Of course, had I been a couple of hours further South in Jersey, I'd have been able to see it. But oh no, not in Hoboken. Not when both NY teams were playing each other. And that's understandable. But couldn't you make it a little easier for those of us who live in the biggest TV market in the country to choose which game we want to watch? Help a brotha out!

3. This Beer Bonging
Lest you assume no one was drinking this weekend, let this video of Tecmo and I bonging beers serve as evidence to the contrary...


All this said, if you're concerned about our shortcomings this weekend, just gander at how our AFC North Rivals fared...

Browns

It's ok, Sean Rogers changes everything...

Bengals

Defense is overrated anyhow...

Ravens

"Viral illness," sounds like a case of not-wanting-to-play-preseason-itis...

And finally, can we get a moment of silence for the impending death of the Browns poopy-pants? It seems their days are marked...


Ok, your turn. What did you guys think? What encouraged you? What discouraged you? And did you see those Vikings cheerleaders? [Insert witty remark here]

PS - Apologies for the excessively long post. What can I say? I love the Steelers...

GAME RECAPS:
Gigs' Live Blog [Blog 'N' Gold]
Reed the Only Kick in Offense [Post-Gazette]
Reed, Steelers "D" Boot Vikings [Trib]
Vikings 'D' Shines in Last Second Loss to Steelers [Associated Press]
Steelers Pull Out Victory Over Vikings, 12-10 [KDKA]
Steelers vs. Vikings Box Score [ESPN]

Two Days 'Til Antarctica...

So far this week...
1. The Steelers signed Orpheus Roye
2. Chuck Batch had shoulder surgery
3. Troy Polamalu returned to practice
4. Willie Parker stopped giving Wreckingball advice, and
5. Roy Lewis looks to have made a spot for himself on the active roster.

But forget all that, we have a preseason game on Saturday night.

Now, I'm sure you're all still reeling from the comedic goodness (read: sucking royally at life) of the last couple of days, but it's time to focus. Saturday is just two days away and preseason or not, if you're a real Steeler fan, you at least care about how the team fares. So let's discuss this thing, shall we?

Last week I did this in "three things I'll be watching" format. And that seemed to work pretty well for me. As for you all, who knows. Nonetheless, I'm going to go with it again this week.

As for that post title - well, Minnesota really is the god damned Arctic Circle (lest I get corrections in the comments, I'm well aware that Antarctica and the Arctic Circle are not one and the same). I've been to this state, and it's 95% ice, even in August. They're probably out there playing pond hockey right now. Which brings me to the point of all this...which is, they're playing in a dome. What does that mean to the post? Absolutely nothing.

With that, here are the three things I'll be watching for on Saturday...

1. Santonio returning punts
2. Wreckingball in the red zone
3. Justin Hartwig

First up is the great debate - should arguably our best receiver, who struggled readily with it during his first go around, be returning punts or not? For the record, I like Tomlin's suggestion that he might use San Antonio like the 'Skins of old did with Darrell Green (who's trading card I still have for reasons unknown). You know, put him in every now and then just to bust one (hopefully). But aside from that, I don't really think we need Santonio going anywhere near "Special" Teams. I may be wrong (which would make Tecmo wrong as well), but Santonio is going to have a monster year. The last thing I want to see is him regularly returning punts in the face of some of the NFL's most ravenous beasts. Just. Not. Necessary.

Moving on, I'd like to keep at least one eye on Wreckingball's goal line prowess. Obviously we didn't draft him to be a scat back, and he did well last week, but will he show us something again this week? No doubt in my mind. Again, I wasn't in love with the 11 carries for 30 yards stat. But the one stat that really counted for him was the TD. A six yard scamper, showing impressive poise for a guy who's really just a month into his professional career. So I'd like to see Wreckingball continue to demolish goal line Defenses, and Minnesota could be quite a test. Remember who they have up there - Pat Williams, KEVIN Williams, and JARED ALLEN. Not to mention Chad Greenway, EJ Henderson and Darren Sharper behind them. Wreckingball better equip his juggernaut armor and roll through those dudes...or else...something.

Lastly, in continuation of last week, Justin Hartwig with the first team Offense. I didn't really get to see the Buffalo game, so I had nothing tangible to draw from in forming an opinion about him. But after reading further into it, it seems like Mahan is the real starter right now and Tomlin is just evaluating how Hartwig fits with the rest of Big Ben's oxen up front. From a purely uninformed perspective, I've gotta think, "shake things up." Make it Hartwig's job to lose. You obviously brought him in for a reason. The Steelers don't just sign free agents for the hell of it. The guy must have SOME talent. Then again, Sean Mahan was a free agent pickup as well, so...

What do you guys think? Is all this preseason talk just a giant tease or what? Anything you'll be watching for on Saturday? And did anyone hide Steely McBeam's keys? That guy is smashed...

PS - if any of you are in the greater Minneapolis area, or by some odd twist of fate will be there on Saturday, my man Neal Coolong (formerly of the now-defunct, Die Hard Steel) will be in attendance at the game. Or so he tells me. So if you see him out there dancing bare assed in the parking lot by himself, be sure to take a picture and send it to me. That sucker's going on the wall of shame.