Ridiculous...

There are so many ways I could go with this.

Is this the gay bar?

Bromance and a half.

Don't get 'em pregnant with your stare, James.

Or, lastly...

That's some hot James on James action.

Ha, I slay me.

All appears to be well at the Pro Bowl, then...


Give 'em hell, Troy...

FINISH HIM.

And here you go, Anonymous Eagles fan commenter...

Your wish, is my command. Go Eagles.

SUPER BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no amount of exclamation points that can express the joy I'm feeling at this time.


I love Troy Polamalu. If I saw him right now, I'd bear hug him. I might even try and cop a feel. Wait, what?

Final Score:
Steelers - 23
Ravens - Not enough

So there you have it, ladies and gents. The Steelers are headed to their second Super Bowl in four years; Ben's second in his short five year career.

Can't be a team three times in one season, huh? Isn't that nice. FOR ME TO POOP ON!

That win was fantastic like Troy's mane...


How Terrell Suggs' Thugs' gums got two sacks is beyond me. But hey, who gives a shit. SUPER BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AKNSDLKFNASDNKGLNALKSDNGKNDGNSLKFNGLDSNFGL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERE WE GO, STEELERS! HERE WE GO!

Full recap to follow in the AM.

Get silly and make some bad decisions tonight!

What's That, You Say?

Injury report day for the Steelers.

Here's the diagnosis...

Troy's got a strained calf, but it should not limit him on Sunday.

Justin Hartwig, who the Post-Gazette referred to as Jeff Hartwig, which embarrassingly marked the first time I actually made the connection between his name and Jeff Hartings' name, also injured his knee, but it too should not limit him Sunday.


Still, grrrr...a little...

Looks like Tomlin agrees.

There He Is!

The good news is Ben's practicing.

The bad news is he looks like he just sharted.

Clean up in aisle...Ben's pants...

In other news, Troy Polamalu appears to be auditioning to become the next Iron Sheik or something...

No idea what that's about.

And We Shall Call Him...

Paisios.

In case you hadn't heard, as seen in this week's Sports Illustrated Pop Culture Grid, Troy's recently born son's name is "Paisios."

Anyone who knows what that means feel free to share.

I trust that all your Turkey Days went well?

Congratulations Polamalus!

Ah yes, the rare weekend post. It comes but once every few weeks when something important happens. Today, it is to congratulate Troy and Theodora Polamalu on the birth of their 1^st little Tasmanian devil.

They had a healthy baby boy yesterday, which means Troy will definitely be on the field in Washington on Monday night. Which is nice, but had he missed the game to be with his wife while she was giving birth, I mean, I guess we would've all understood.

No word on what they're naming the child yet. But if I may offer a suggestion - I think Dick Lebeau Polamalu has a nice ring to it. Also no word on whether the kid came out sporting a full head of hair. But the smart money's on him traversing the birth canal only to emerge with a fully grown out afro.

Congratulations Troy! Now, you better shave that beard. Kids don't like that shit. When I was a baby, I hated my Dad's beard so much that my Mom made him shave it off. We Cotter men are strong in the face of those with the double X chromosomes.

That Was Just Cleveland Being Cleveland...

Well, we avoided the unthinkable. If the Browns had won that game, I just might've thrown something at the TV. Can you imagine the shit storm we'd have to endure if god forbid, the currently overhyped incarnation of the Browns finally beat us after losing 16 out of the last 17, including the last nine (now 10) straight? I can. And it wouldn't have been pretty. There's nothing worse than delusional Browns fans thinking they've actually earned something.

Anyways, we did indeed escape with a narrow victory, 10-6, though we pretty much controlled the entire game. Once again, conditions ruined the day and likely some of the game plan. For example, we saw basically (with a couple of exceptions) hide nor hair of Wreckingball. And understandably so. He's had fumbling problems in good conditions. So imagine how nervous Tomlin must've been about putting him in last night. But yeah, despite the weather, a lot of guys stepped up big, including...

1. The "Offensive" Line
I think after last night I can remove the quotes around the word, "Offensive." Because those guys were on their game. Case in point - the Ben to San Antonio 48 (?) yard bomb that Ben threw from deep in our own territory. He had a solid 10 seconds on that one. Add the masterful job Kemoeatu did pulling and you can understand why I am so pleased with this unit. Anyone who doesn't consider voting for them in the poll to your left obviously didn't watch that game last night.

2. Bryant McFadden
Well, I noted on Saturday that with Deshea out, and McFadden looking for a new contract, this was his time to make his case as the starter of the future. Not that there was much doubt. But he came through big, covering Braylon Edwards rather masterfully. He even nabbed a poorly underthrown Derek Anderson pass in the first half that led to the only touchdown of the game. Coincidentally, did anyone else know that ball was going to be picked the moment it left Anderson's hand? I called it literally as it was being thrown. He lobbed that out there and McFadden took full advantage. Bravo, young one. The force seems strong with you.

3. Troy Polamalu
All the evidence you need was the play in which Troy HURDLED TWO OFFENSIVE LINEMAN to diffuse a Jamal Lewis run long before it might've been otherwise. Sure, he didn't make the tackle. But as Domski put it after the game - imagine what those two Offensive Lineman must've been thinking when Polamalu jumped OVER them...complete dumbfoundedness, no doubt. Rendering them rather useless as blockers. Plus, I don't have to remind you that he snagged the interception in the 2nd Quarter that ruined one of Cle-heave-land's (credit: Joey Porter's Pit Bulls) only real drives of the game. This is why Troy Polamalu is invaluable. And thank god he looks like the Troy we know and love. I don't know who that guy was wearing 43 for most of last year. Because it didn't look like the Troy we've seen thus far in '08. Well played, Troy. I guess whatever Christy said to you at Chili's must've hit home.

So all in all, I'm pleased. Under normal conditions, I would've liked to have put up approximately 30 more points on the Clowns. But as I said earlier, a win is a win. I'll take it because of the implications.

That said, we've got the Killadelphia Desert Eagles (.50) next Sunday in Filthadelphia. And we've got a day on them. So let's hope the Cowgirls ride herd on them tonight to wear them out a bit. Then again, if you listen to the media pundits, the Eagles are unstoppable. I mean, they beat the Rams 38-3. And the Rams are clearly a Super Bowl caliber Defense. So we might as well expect to get rained on...yeeeaaaahhhh, right.

Is it wrong that I'm already looking forward to Sunday?

So I ask you all - What did you think of that game? Who's performance did you like/not like? "Special" Teams? What about that cheap shot Shaun Rogers put on Ben? And hey, how awesome would it be if Murdermore (that's Baltimore, in case you hadn't guessed) beat the Gowns next week?

Either way, I think this is worth re-posting for a second look...

I think I'll have some new pics to add after this one...

He Just Doesn't Want to Mess Up His Hair...

"When there's an injury like this, it's always best to take the safe route because it's a very long season. If you continue to re-injure it this early, there's no telling how bad it could really get. So, if there's any down time that's good, it's right now."

- Troy Polamalu

Alright, you guys wanna talk about Troy's injury? Let's talk about Troy's injury. I mean, farbeit from me to try and write about something more humorous, yet less relevant to Steelers football (like I might normally do)...

First of all, it's completely unrelated to his injury last season. That was some sort of a sternum thing (ribs?) if I remember correctly. This is just a pulled hammy. Hell, I pulled a hammy humping Kristin Bell playing Rock Band the other night. In fact, one time, I pulled a hammy just by being awesome. So let's call it what it is - nothing. At least in the context of a finely tuned, professional athletic machine.

Second of all, to be honest, Troy looked pretty shitty last season (using a relative comparison, that is). After firmly emerging as the defensive backfield's stud in years 2004 - 2006 ('03 doesn't count), dude spent the better part of 2007 either writhing on the sidelines or underachieving on the field. Now, I'm no Doctor. I'm not even a nurse (though I do know how to properly administer mouth-to-mouth on a beautiful woman). But that sounds to me like a guy who needs some rest and rehabilitation.

So Troy's on the PUP list for the beginning of training camp. Good. I'd rather him sit through ALL of camp if it means he'll be 100% Polamalu come September.

Of course, the ideal sitch, at least in my mind, is for Troy to observe the first week, then try and at least do some drills on his own thereafter. And once he's comfortable, put on the pads and engage in a little light "how you doin' Willie Reid"'s.

No sense in pushing the man. Am I wrong?

Besides, he's probably just trying to sneak off to see Dark Knight anyhow.

Oh, and I particularly enjoyed when he described his trainer-of-choice, Marv Marinovich's routine as "very awesome." That comment was "very sophisticated." USC, what a very quality edumacation. Nahmeen?

So, what do you guys think? Worried? Disappointed? Satisfied? Hungry? Do you now think differently about Marv Marinovich's "very awesome" workout regimen? Will Polamalu return to form this year?

Let's discuss in the comments. Yes, that means you.

PS - Someone please send this post to Deadspin. I'm drowning here.

Dear NFL, Please Do Not Rob This Man of His Hair Individuality, Thanks...

CAPTION: Troy Polamalu. Bringin' sexy short hair back?

And here I was thinking I wasn't going to have anything to talk about today...

Well thank the gods of these here internets, because such is no longer zee case. Indeed, I have three things to discuss with you all today (hopefully it won't come out too much like the link lists some other blogs love so much). They are, in some particular order:

• Troy gets a haircut?
• Haven't you always dreamed of selling beer at Heinz Field?
• Verron Haynes makes headlines?

So to begin - Troy. Haircut. Will he have to bring back the sick afro you see above? Apparently, unbeknownst to me (until yesterday), the NFL is considering a rule that would bar players from sporting hair that flows over top of the name on the back of their jerseys...and based on the fact that the idea came from the Kansas City Chiefs, whose star RB (you'll remember) once "hair" tackled Polamalu, I have to imagine they were thinking of him when they proposed this change. Of course, I'm not sure why this really matters. I see the argument that it is "unsafe," but if a player is going to have long hair like that, I'm pretty sure they know at some point it might get pulled. So I feel like this is a - do at your own risk sort of sitch. Probably no need for a rule against it. Plus, I mean, if you take away his hair, it's like you're, you know, taking away a part of him (both literally and figuratively). Is it not?

Secondly - and much less significantly, there is the Heinz Field job fair. For those of you who, as mentioned above, have been dreaming about deriving your hard earned income from screaming "beer here," your chance may have finally arrived. Next week, Heinz Field will host a little bazaar for anyone who wants to become a security guard, seat attendant, concessions employee, ticket taker or whole host of other such things. So if this is your bag (baby), check out the East Club Lounge at Heinz Field next Tuesday (4/1) either between 11am and 2pm or 4pm and 7pm. But beware, they are not currently offering fluffer jobs...sorry Domski.

And last but not least is our old pal, Verron Haynes. Apparently this member of Pittsburgh's most beautiful, who agreed to purchase a 2001 Aston Martin for $67,500 from a Monroeville dealership in 2006, only ever paid $7,650 for it, and is subsequently being sued by the dealership for the remaining $60,000 some odd bones (as they refer to it "in the streets"). Not much else to say here but drive it like you stole it dude. Because you pretty much did. I hope for Haynes' sake that he gets a spot on the practice squad or something. $60,000 large ain't nothing to shake a stick at (was that a proper use of that adage?)

There you have it - the biggest news items of the day affecting our Steelers and/or friendly Steeler fans. As usual, are you not entertained?...

Yeah, me either. I'll do better next time, I promise...

PS - Is anybody out there this week? It's like I'm hearing crickets here...

PPS - Anyone interested in getting in on this week's "Meeting People Is Easy" action, email me - onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com.

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Car Dealer Sues Verron Haynes [Tribune-Review]
Verron Haynes Likes to Bounce Checks [PSAMP]
Heinz Field Job Fair [KDKA]
NFL Could Ban Hair Flowing Out of Helmets [Fanhouse]

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, It's Go Time In The Steel City!

You might call it Super Sunday, a rematch of the game that netted us One For The Thumb. You might call it a rebound game, after a tough loss to our old friends Ken Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm. And you might just call it Week 5. Call it what you will, today's game against the Seattle Seahawks is just yet another test of what we have in the tank this season.

Some big questions - how will the team respond after last week's disparaging performance? Will Willie Parker break a 75 yarder? Will Santonio Holmes catch 3 TDs? Will the Defense hold Shaun Alexander to under 100 yards? Under 50 yards? And most of all, will Big Ben be wearing a helmet? (ah, it never gets old)

So, in preparation for today's battle at Heinz Field, here are some points to look for as you're watching the action:

THE STEELERS

• On Defense: The Blitz-Master Dick LeBeau will deploy multiple zone blitzes and maintain the physical play that has marked Steeler football for just about as long as we all can remember. The main key will be to keep pressure on Matt Hasslebeck to make the quick throws and throws he will not want to make. If we can generate an effective pass rush, it will frustrate the Seahawks passing attack, which hopefully by the 2nd Quarter or at least the 2nd half, they will have to rely on (to their detriment -- abandoning Shaun Alexander).
  
  Also, Bryant McFadden is out. So at 3rd corner we will see rookie William Gay. I'll bet Seattle is chomping at the bit to try and pick on Gay, but if they watched any of the preseason (yes I know it's just preseason), they ought to know that Gay won't be any more forgiving than McFadden would be. Gay just needs to maintain his confidence and focus. Don't be intimidated by the Seattle passing attack. If you stick to them, they will get frustrated and that will make your job infinitely easier. Look for Gay to do a good job filling in, though he may get thrown on a couple more times than he might like.
  
  Worse, Troy Polamalu and Casey Hampton are listed as Questionable, and from what I'm reading, are NOT expected to play. Troy's nursing some torn cartilage in his rib cage, which sounds like a beast of an injury, and Big Snack has a Hammy injury. Still, if they do play, don't expect them to be anything less than 98% because I don't think either of them would put themselves on the field if they didn't think they could get the job done. Here's hoping they do play...'cause let's face it, they are two of the biggest reasons our Defense can be so nasty.


• On Offense: There will be many keys on Offense today, but most importantly - give Willie Parker the ball. Fast Willie had a tough time last week in Arizona, but don't expect that to be the case against Seattle. For starters, we're at home, where Willie has made just about everyone his bitch. Plus, despite what seems like a superb front 7 on paper, the Seachickens are giving up an average of 104 yards a game and recently allowed the Cards' Edgerrin James a 128 yard game.
  
  Also important on Offense today will be Big Ben making efficient use of his arm. Provided Willie Parker is getting his job done, Big Ben should be afforded more time and confidence to make his reads and find an open man (instead of throwing into triple coverage). With Hines Ward out, it will be up to our man Santonio (or is it San Antonio, Dan Dierdorf?) Holmes to get open and make plays like he did last week. I personally think this is more of a probability than a possibility. But the Seahawks have a pretty good, fast, secondary that could be tougher to beat than you might think. Beyond Santonio, we will need at least two other receivers/tight ends to step up and deliver when their number is called. We hoped that would be Nate Washington last week...and well, you know how that went. This is not to say that Washington couldn't be today's hero, but just that Ben will need more support from someone. Maybe that is Mammoth Tight End Matt Spaeth near the goal line, maybe it's Heath Miller in the flat, maybe it's Cedric Wilson or Willie Reid on a deep cross. I don't know, but they will need to be ready for the ball when it comes.


• On Special Teams: Uh, we should probably not, like give up punt return touchdowns or something. Yeah, so this has been a problem for us - kick coverage. Hopefully after being embarrased last week, and with the addition of Andre Frazier to the unit this week, we won't have quite such a problem. Nonetheless, we will have to see.
  
  On the flipside, Allen Rossum has been a HUGE plus returning kicks. That 98 yarder for a score a couple weeks ago was something no one expected. I mean, hey, I'd have settled for him just catching the ball and holding on to it, let alone running back kicks 98 yards. So hopefully we'll see a lot more good work out of Rossum and it will be one more thing we throw at Seattle for them to have to worry about. The more the better.

THE SEAHAWKS

• On Defense: Don't listen to anything I say if it seems like Seattle's D does not scare me. As I may have mentioned, their front 7 is pretty solid and includes names like Lofa Tatupu, Julian Peterson, Patrick Kerney, Rocky Bernard, and Chuck Darby. With these guys and safeties Deon Grant and Brian Russel, the Seahawks are going to try and load up the box to frustrate Fast Willie and put pressure on Ben to look like the QB he looked like last week (not to mention the better part of 2006).
  
  Also, Nate Washington, who apparently will start for Hines, may or may not be matched up against Marcus Trufant, a pretty damn good Cornerback for those of you who might have forgotten. So wherever Trufant is marked up, we may have to look elsewhere, just further reinforcing the importance of some of our other guys stepping up to make plays.


• On Offense: The Seahawks have a pro bowl running back in Shaun Alexander, who likes to run behind LT Walter Jones. He's been carrying the ball an average of about 23 times per game, despite the fact that the 'hawks run a west coast style offense. So don't expect this to change much today. We'll see enough of Shaun Alexander for him to be dangerous. This is big because if Casey Hampton can't go, Seattle will be looking at Chris Hoke in the middle, who is still a formidable foe, but no Big Snack by most standards.
  
  Beyond the run, the Seattle west coast offense will include a lot of short passes, with QB Matt Hasslebeck (no slouch himself) effectively delivering the ball to guys like Deion Branch (the Pacific Northwest version of Hines Ward), Nate Burleson, Bobby Engram and Marcus Pollard. That's a lot of guys to cover. The answer to all this of course is, if Hasslebeck doesn't have time to find an open man, their passing strength is moot.

And overall, just play disciplined football like you want to win. We have to minimize turnovers on Offense while trying to create them on Defense, and just be efficient. This is not rocket science. It's football. He who controlleth the ball, dictateth the game. Let's hope the Steelers work as hard as they can for a win today, because 4-1 going into a bye week next week would be a hell of a lot better than 3-2. With that, let's get it on. I'll be at the bar, thanks.

Best Damn News I've Head All Day...

that is besides the verdict rendered against Zeke (Isaiah Thomas for those of you who don't remeber 1989) and MSG. Maybe now we can finally bust up that bullshit monopoly Cablevision has on providing cable TV to the greater NYC metro area (mainly because I can't get NFL Network or Sunday ticket...bloodsuckers).

Oh right, what I really meant to say was - Best Damn News I've Heard All Day -- Polamalu, Big Snack and Spaeth will be ready to go on Sunday! Quoth zen master Mike Tomlin -- "All indications are that they will be fine." AND what's more, playing in place of McFadden (because he IS still injured) as the 3rd Corner this weekend will be rookie stud William Gay. So not only will we get our pro bowlers back in time to attempt to silence all the critics who said Super Bowl XL was a fluke, but we'll get to see what our promising young Louisville alum can do in regular season competition. Bonus.

Bad news is potentially no Hines Ward for the second straight week, and only the fourth time in the last 10 years (so I learned today). So [maybe] no scenes like the image inset. Also, apparently Big Ben hurt his vagina...I mean foot, when someone stepped on it in Sunday's debacle against Pittsburgh West. Gee, maybe if he were wearing a helmet...oh just kidding, come on, I love Ben.

Anyways, that's the injury update for today. 'Til tomorrow, take it easy Steeler Nation.

I Like The Way You Think...

Troy Polamalu on his new deal, worth approximately $30.19 million over the next 4 years:

"You have to earn the money...It's not for what I did in the past, it's for what I've got to earn now."

When asked HOW he thought he could earn this money, Polamalu replied -

"Four Super Bowls in a row?"

Can't argue with that logic. Troy, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

PS - yes I'm way far behind on Steelers news. Trying to dig out this evening...stay tuned.