Well, That Was One Labor, Dabor...

OK. So we've got a lot to talk about today then, huh? Nice little three day weekend there. I think more happened in the last three days than pretty much the entire last month.

Let's recap...

#1 - We won our final preseason game
Only one thing really to say here - no one got hurt. 3-1 overall, I'll take it. And for those of you who may have forgotten, Jeff Reed is still partyboy solid gold.

#2 - Batch is officially on IR
It pains me greatly to say it, but this was the right move. I don't really like Lord Byron that much. But he is, as Batch was when he signed in '02, a former starter that we know can play the position relatively well. He's no Big Ben. But of course, only one man is. And in case you're in the mood for a little YouTube video-age, bear witness to my advice for Leftwich below...


#3 - The final roster was announced along with practice squad
Yes, we now know the answers to this preseaon's burning questions - Baker is the 5th wideout, Berger is the punter (today), Hartwig is our starting Center, and we obviously learned our lesson from the Allen Rossum Experiment (see: Eddie Drummond cut). Done and done. Among the cuts that I was disappointed to see - none.

#4 - ESPN > Fox Sports
In case you missed it, ESPN officially anointed Steeler nation the best fanbase in the NFL. Some of you may remember Fox Sports recently bestowing the same honor upon Eagles fans. Which, of course, means the writers at ESPN are clearly way more sane than the writers at Fox Sports. And lest we forget, in our shock and anger over Fox Sports' poor judgment, we are still Commonwealth brethren. I think we can all (both PA fanbases, that is) agree on one thing - both Ohio and New Jersey suck.

#5 - OFTOT fantasy league autodraft went off without a hitch
Some of you may be aware, some of you may not. But Domski graciously set up a fantasy league for some of OFTOT's usual suspects. Of course, it's public. So somehow we got a Pats fan in there. But that'll just make it all the more sweet when we all dump on the guy later. Anyways, we set it up to just autodraft, because, why not. Coordinating a draft is almost as fun as being Brady Quinn. So we decided to skip the pleasantries and get right to the point. Only thing to note here is - somehow, Notgomu ended up with half of the Steelers Offense - including - Big Ben, Willie Parker, Rashard Mendenhall, Santonio Holmes and Heath Miller. I think all he needs for the cycle is Hines Ward.

#6 - Neal Coolong is back online
You may remember Neal from his stint last season at Die Hard Steel. Well, unbeknownst to him, his site was rudely yanked from the interwebs by the admin without but an email letting him know he should secure any outstanding content. Nevertheless, our hero trudged on in the face of adversity and set up his new blog home at, On The Black Side. The name is a play on the fact that the Steelers helmet has only one logo. So I'd like to officially welcome Neal back to the Steelers blogdome and I strongly encourage all ye who crave Steelers analysis for the next 17 weeks (and hopefully more) to check OTBS out. Now if we could just get Neal up on skates...

And I think that about covers it...did I miss anything? What do you guys think of the final 53-man roster? Thoughts on Leftwich vs. Batch? How about Steelers Nation being #1 on ESPN? Oh, and did you guys hear that the Bengals cut Rudi Johnson and Willie Anderson? I think it's official - they are no longer even trying.

PS - After horsing around with the camera during our recent game against Minny, Tecmo and I have decided to try our hand at a little weekly pregame show. So over the coming season (hopefully), you will see and hear much more of our asinine commentary on everything Steelers...in living color. We're still working on a clever title for it. But in the meantime, feel free to preview some of the type of nonsense you can expect via the following clips...

On This Season's Schedule


On Questionable Playcalling


On Not Knowing What Was Going on At The End of the Game


On Mendenhall's 4th Quarter Fumble


On Mendenhall's Fumbling Problem


On Dennis Dixon


On...Something


On Shartlesville, PA


On Tony Homo Romo


On Jerseys That May/May Not Exist

WHO Has The Best Fans?

Hey, remember the time Fox Sports said Eagles fans were the best fans in the NFL?

Well, ESPN says screw that. Steelers nation is where it's at. Probably in infinitely more hilarious terms, though. 'Cause, you know, ESPN is pretty much awesome...and stuff.

Perhaps this is the reason Eagles fans couldn't carry the day (see image above)...

/I thought this was worth a weekend post

AFC North Headline of the Day...

Two. Two pieces of good news in one. Err...two subpar QBs in one, more like it.

Gosh, Ravens Nation (that just doesn't sound right) must be all abuzz with the arrival of Casey Bramlet. Six teams in four professional years (seven if you count the Hamburg Sea Devils of the now defunct NFL Europe)? Wow, I mean that's impressive. Plus, he was in the National Honor Society in High School. That should serve him well in the face of Silverback and The InTimmonator.

Dare I say...CHAMPIONSHIP?!

I Guess There's A Game On...

Or something...

Just in case Tobiathan feels so inclined to give us some play by play, here's the venue.

AFC North Headline of the Day...

God has spoken to the Browns, and he has told them that Joe Horn is the answer.

Just like he told them Shaun Rogers, Corey Williams, Donte Stallworth, and Brady Quinn were the answers before Horn.

Trade all draft picks + overpay for underperforming free agents = CHAMPIONSHIP!

Obviously that's why the Browns have been such an epic power in the division for the last 20 years...well, we should give them a pass on '96-'98...I mean it's tough to dominate when your franchise doesn't exist, right?

Thoughts?

Oh, and PS - check out Neil O'Donnell taking a page out of Tommy Maddox's book.

And What Of William Cowher?

Service Announcement: Inspiration for the following post is brought to you by BodogLife.com. Sure, I wrote it. But it was their email giving me the betting odds on if Bill Cowher will coach in 2009 or not that pushed me to it. So if you hate it, blame them. Well, I guess they don't deserve ALL the blame. Beer and lack of sleep had a hand in that as well. Anyways, if you're a betting man/woman, go check out BodogLife.com. They seem to have a severe amount of things to bet on, including the subject matter of this post. And there went the product plug. Now that we've got that out of the way...

Bill Cowher. Crafton native. 15 years of terror in Pittsburgh, producing one Super Bowl ring and 10 Playoff runs. One of the most coveted potential Head Coaches for the past two seasons (this one and last), even if it was never said publicly. Many think he left the game because he was tired. Many think he left because he wanted more than the Steelers were willing to pay. Some even think that he left because he knew about the current Rooney tunes saga. I don't know about all that. But I do know that I can speculate on where he would go if this was 2009 and his phone came a ringin'.

As you'll see, below I've done just that. And I don't know anything about betting odds. So I've pretty much made up all of these numbers and have only a marginal idea of what they mean. In other words, I think I'm saying, this is solely for entertainment purposes. If Bill Cowher ever did return to Coaching, well, I hope Bill doesn't return to Coaching. Because I'd only want him in Pittsburgh, and in my mind that job is still strongly occupied by Mr T., Mike Tomlin. Anyways, Bodog's "odds" were (-130) for Yes and (Even) for No, answering the question - "Will Bill Cowher be Coaching in 2009?" So with that, I give you my guesses and the corresponding odds...

Deep breath.

Ready?

Ok.

1 - Houston or Arizona | Odds = 5 to 1

Yes, I'm combining them, because listen, when are the Houston and Arizona jobs NOT available? If Ken Whisenhunt thinks he has 10 years to build that team he's sorely mistaken. When your team hasn't seen action in January for a decade, the natives can get restless. I give him two more 5-11 seasons, tops, before enough's enough. Anyway, so that's why Houston and Arizona. I think the odds are probably the same for each, but talk to me in 2009 and maybe that'll change. Not if the Cardinals don't figure out the Anquan Boldin situation it won't, though. NEXT!

2 - Detroit | Odds = 20 to 1 (10 to 1 if Jon Kitna's the QB)

Detroit. Yeah, sure. Why not? They haven't exactly been a perrenial contender of late. And while it seems like Rod Marinelli is making nice nice with Matt "Daniel Snyder School of Drafting Graduate" Millen, I have a hard time believing he has any longer a leash than The Whiz out in AZ. Now, I highly doubt Millen would see a personality match in Cowher. But if he did, Detroit is a blue collar town. Lots of guns. But a hard working people comprising that fanbase. And hey, maybe, just maybe, Cowher might be able to teach them how to run the football. Novel idea.

3 - Carolina | Odds = 35 to 1

This has been the consensus pick as to Cowher's potential destination since he retired. He went to College there, he's got a home there, they've got lots of hot southern belle chickadees running around (well, maybe that wouldn't factor into his decision but it's true). What's not to like if you're Cowher? Well, call me crazy, but I just don't think this is going to happen. John Fox is the Panthers' longest tenured Coach (with a whopping six years of service), despite a couple of 7-9 seasons and a couple of 8-8 seasons. I guess it's a definite possibility and seems like a good fit. But I'm downplaying it because I just don't want it to happen. Sort it out for yourselves.

4 - Cincinnati | Odds = 112 to 1

I don't see much of a way this could ever work out as long as Chris Henry's on the roster. But nevertheless, I don't see the Bengals looking competitive at ALL this season and in fact, I'd project a 4-12, possibly 3-13 season for them. Which would mean Marvin Lewis may have finally wore down that patience machine of an ownership. So being an old AFC North rival, the Cincinnati brass might look in ol' Cowher's direction. But frankly, I don't think there are enough greenbacks in the world to make this happen. Plus, Cincy doesn't really worry about mediocrity, as evidenced by their sub .500 record seven out of the last 12 years.

5 - Cleveland | Odds = NOPE!

No. This cannot happen. I refuse to even indulge the thought. /plugs ears and closes eyes and hums...

And there you have it. Five potential options if the unfathomable should happen and Billy Cowher makes his triumphant return to Coaching.

Feel friend to let me know your thoughts in the comments...

PS - apologies for the subpar photoshops...I only have so much time now that law school is back in full swing and work is still kicking my ass.

What is This, The Mike Tomlin School of PR?

Ok, first off this morning - what the hell went on in NY yesterday?

"There's great respect for the Rooney family in the National Football League, and we want to do everything we can to ensure that the Steelers continue to be operated by the Rooneys and the way they've been operated."

"[It's] another step in the process."

"We had a good dialogue, good communication about the issues at hand and I think we have a better understanding of where things are."

Mike Tomlin, is that you? Oh no, it's Roger Goodell. Wow, that's enough ambiguities to choke a horse Steely McBeam. Ok, no but seriously though, what are they talking about? These quotes are Oscar-worthy. Hey Goodell, does Pacino know you stole his line about "great respect for the...family?"

Secondly, did this guy seriously rank the Steelers' backup QB behind Matt Leinart, Chris Redman, Matt Moore and Gus Frerotte? #17 out of 32? Surely he can't be talking about Chuck Batch? Well, actually, he's not. The backup he's referring to is current backup, Lord Byron "Does Not Understand The Mechanics of Throwing A Football" Leftwich. Plus, he ranked Kyle Boller (being honestly evaluated as the potential starter in Baltimore) behind all of them at #20. So um, in that case, fair assessment. Carry on, Don Banks.

Lastly, Hines Ward had a revelation about how to help fix Wreckingball's recent fumbling problem. The same god damned revelation every blogger who made the obvious joke did. Yes, we all saw "The Program." Paying people to try and make Wreckingball fumble? Now, you're just being a dick. He already has to carry the ball everywhere with him. Knock that crap off. And also, this is news? Seriously? Wow.

Sorry guys, this post was the result of what they call a creativity fail. I'll try and come up with something better for tomorrow. I'm embarrassed. Embarrassed, really.

Any burning topics you'd like to discuss? I hear Perez Hilton thinks the Cracker Barrel is homo-unfriendly. Guess nobody told Perez that Domski used to work there...

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Rooney bros. conclude meeting with NFL Commissioner [Post-Gazette]
Goodell calls meeting with Rooney brothers 'productive' [Trib]
Ranking each team's No. 2 QBs [SI.com]
Ward, Steelers Teach Mendenhall Not To Fumble [Trib]

Heeey Michael, Whaaat's Happe-ning?

Cut day. I wouldn't know anything about it since I've never played football nor have I ever been cut from any type of organized sports team (unless Extreme Shuffleboard counts). But I often wonder what it must be like when a guy gets cut in preseason. Does Tomlin take him out to Eat 'n' Park breakfast? A French Toast Smile to soften the blow, perhaps? Or is it more like Hoss's for a nice Surf 'n Turf dinner? Or maybe just Sheetz for some tapas?

Like I said, I don't know.

Still, that doesn't mean I can't use my active imagination and explore this a little bit. So for the sake of keeping things remotely entertaining around here, and humoring my odd curiosity, I've jotted down what I would like to think is how a typical cut might go. Below, you'll find the completely fictional and totally lacking in substantive value, exchange between recently departed Mikey Potts and Head BA in Charge, Mike Tomlin. I hope you enjoy.

Here' goes...

Tomlin: Michael, come in. Sit down. Let's chat. You want a Mint Double Stuff'd Oreo? I can't get enough of these things. It's like they took a slice of heaven and put it smack dab between two pieces of devilishly delicious chocolate-y crackers.

Potts: Uh, sure Coach. But umm, is that what you wanted to talk about?

Tomlin: Well, no. Not exactly. See Michael, sometimes there comes a time when people must part ways. Unfortunately for you and I, today is that day. Son, you've been cut.

Potts: But Coach Tomlin, I...

Tomlin: Now Michael, the important thing is that you act like we treat you around here. Like a man. And men don't cry. You hear that, son? Don't you cry on my couch, that's Corinthian leather imported from Newark, New Jersey!

Potts: Sorry Coach, I couldn't help myself. I mean, how could this happen? We went to the same Alma Mater? I thought I was really getting the hang of this NFL thing?

Tomlin: Michael, the reality of it is - sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar eats you. Today, you need to take the next step. Which is, right out the door. Because we're at 80 and we need to be at 75 by tomorrow at 4 PM. I'm sorry son, it just isn't meant to be.

Potts: Well, can I ask a question then?

Tomlin: Sure, lay it on me Martavarius.

Potts: Sir, I'm...nevermind. Listen, what do you think I need to do to elevate my game to NFL level?

Tomlin: Damn these Primanti's sandwiches are ri-dic-u-lous! Have you had one of these? Un-friggin'-believable. A whole year and a half and I could still eat these everyday. Man, how do I get this whole thing into my gullet without tearing an ACL? Wait...what was the question again?

Potts: Uh, what do I need to do to catch on with an NFL team?

Tomlin: Oh right you are, young man.

Potts: Yeah, it was my question.

Tomlin: HEY! Did I say you could talk? Hold up! You wanna know what you need to do to make an NFL squad? Find Dr. James Andrews, Peyton Manning, Vince Young and Tom Brady, and convince the good doctor to learn plastic surgery. 'Cause you'd need Manning's arm, Young's legs and Brady's sex appeal. That or if you just wanna hang around and hold a clip board on the sidelines, you could probably just mug Brady Quinn and throw his jersey on.

Potts: That's fabulous. Real great advice. You know what? I'm happy I'm outta here. You know who needs a QB? Ken Whisenhunt. Mark my words, I will be an Arizona Cardinal soon. I'm calling scout extraordinaire Mike Boni now. Hey, at least I wouldn't throw three picks in a preseason game.

Tomlin: You got a point there, Jeremy.

Potts: Mike.

Tomlin: Who you callin', Mike? You can call me "Sir," "Coach," "Mr. T," or "Tinkerbell." But I know you ain't callin' me, Mike?

Potts: No Coach, my name's Mike.

Tomlin: Oh no it's not. Not anymore. I'm the only Mike in this room. Right now, at least. I'm callin' you, Joey. And Joey, I'd like to show you the door. Because you're friggin' cut! Now clear out before I have to go Bill Cowher on your ass. And let me warn you now, my saliva glands have been working overtime lately!

Potts: Whatever man, this is some BS. Have fun with Orpheus Roye, jagoff.

Tomlin: Wait, Omar Jacobs. You really wanna know why?

Potts: Omar Jacobs? I mean...uh...sure, I'll bite.

Tomlin: We're putting cover sheets on all our TPS reports now. Didn't you get that memo? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Potts: Alright, I'm outta here.

Tomlin: [inner narrative] Hmmm...I wonder what it would taste like if I put the Oreo on the sandwich...Oh man, that's the stuff. Hey, wait a minute, where's my IC Light? ... ... Hey yo Tommy Maddox, get back here!

[Fade Out - Hit play below for accompanying soundtrack selection]


Wow, was that some severe idiocy or what? Comments? Questions? Emotions? I'll wait 'til you're all done jamming to that sick tune...

And in other news today that might actually make you smarter, rather than dumber, Tec interviewed Bob Smizik. Yep, you read that correctly. The foreshadowed interviewee was none other than the man, the myth, the legend himself.

It's a really good read. And while I think there were a few semi-tense moments, each side was very open to what the other had to say. See, we all really can get along.

Of course, that probably wouldn't have been a problem for me, considering Smizik and friends probably don't even know I exist. HA! Under the radar...equip stealth armor...cloak Toyota Camry...

[EDITOR'S NOTE/UPDATE -- I refuse to devote an entire post to this, but the team just made what should be it's final cut of the week - Tight End, Cody Boyd. I can see you're all really broken up about it. I'll let you mourn in peace...]

So Long Mikey Potts, We Barely Knew You...

It is with a heavy heart that I deliver this sad news to all you ravenous Steelers faithful - OFTOT fav, QB Mikey Potts has just been cut. We knew this day would come. We just thought we would have gotten more time with him. Mikey P, good luck in Arizona. No doubt you'll be on a plane, headed there shortly. That's probably Whisenhunt on the horn now. Better let you go...

In other cuts/roster moves...

Jeremy Bloom - OUT!
Martavarius Prince - OUT!
Robopunter - OUT! (On IR, that is)

...And there will be one more lost before tomorrow's out (when the Steelers need to be down to 75).

But never you fear, Eddie Drummond's still here...

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Steelers Cut Bloom, Put Sepulveda on IR [Trib]
The Legend of Mikey Potts [OFTOT]

Jeff Reed Is A Golden God...

I'm not going to lie to you, Saturday night was kind of a stressful experience. Sure, we won. And yes, it's only preseason. But we had four chances to get six and each time we had to settle for three. If we have any hopes of beating the likes of New England, San Diego, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Dallas, and umm, pretty much any of the other teams we play this season, we'd better figure out how to put the ball in the end zone. Quick.

Nevertheless, Jeff Reed came to play. And he just may have gotten the best workout of the day. Four field goals, hitting from 35, 37, 43 and 47, the last of which being the longest, and coming with just four seconds left on the clock. So I think what I'm saying is, game ball goes to Jeff Reed. He may be quirky, outlandish, and perhaps a little out of his mind. But he's also a damn good kicker and looking to be rock solid gold going into the regular season.

Anyways, big thanks again to Tobiathan, who ripped some nasty live blogging in the comments of Saturdays gameday discussion post. I greatly appreciate him doing it. Especially because for the second straight week, the game was blacked out in NYC. Well played, Steelbiathan.

So let's now take a look at the good, the bad, and the Browns. Err...I think what I meant there was, "the ugly." But using the Browns to illustrate that point was probably pretty obvious to you then, wasn't it?

The GOOD

1. The Defense
Pressure, check! Coverage, check! Turnovers, check! Of course, they weren't flawless. But I don't really ever expect them to be. Still, despite allowing Adrian Peterson to get six on a one yard run, they held last year's Rookie standout to just 21 yards on 12 carries, amassed three out of the team's four total sacks, and Face Me Ike stepped in front of a Gus Frerotte pass for an unexpected, yet completely welcomed, interception. In other news, that may have been the most commas ever used in one sentence...

2. Willie Reid
I'm still not sure I'd rather have him on the active roster than Dallas Baker. But he definitely helped his cause Saturday night in the receiving category. 5 catches for 55 yards, including a 22 yarder. Nothing to shake a stick at. Plus, we're talking about four catches of Lord Byron's bullets (one from Big Ben). That dude throws the ball around like it's a shotput. So I'm not going to pretend like he's Hines Ward or something. But it's nice to know that Reid can perform when he knows he's on the bubble...

3. That Photoshop on the Gameday Post
I'm not one to go around touting my work as creative genius. But that image was definitely one of the cooler things I've ever done. Like, in my life. Way cooler than the time I did multiple beer bongs and jello shots and ate penne vodka with my bare hands. Which was, Saturday night...

Moving on...

The BAD

1. FWP aka Master Fly W. Large
Granted, Minnesota is definitely one of the toughest run Defenses in the league. But 18 yards on 10 carries is pretty terrible. That's an average of 1.8 yards per carry. And four of the 10 carries were for no gain or negative gain. Ouch. Nevertheless, I can't say this will have any more than a temporary impact on my opinion of the Fast one. I'd like to chalk it up to not wanting to do anything to get himself hurt. At least that'll help me sleep better at night...

2. Big Ben
A 67 passer rating? I can only think this was Ben channeling his inner Rex Grossman. Completing only 10 of 17 (59%) for just 65 yards, he threw behind the receivers and danced around the pocket like an excitable high school senior hopped up on Robitussin and Caffeine pills at the prom. Of course, the line wasn't exactly helping at all times (see below). But it definitely looked like there were a number of miscues that amounted to our own personal Super Hero's underwhelming performance. I'll probably give it another week before I call for his head, though...

3. The Offensive Line
I'd try to do something funny here. But there was nothing funny about the Offensive Line's performance on Saturday. They clearly weren't getting any push, as evidenced by FWP's stat line, and on some plays, they looked like they were tackling dummies. And if anyone knows why Willie Colon is still starting over Max Starks, please share. In case you missed it, Señor Colon was responsible for one pretty bad sack on Big Ben in which he allowed Ray Edwards to go pretty much untouched. Certainly can't crucify him for one sack, but I mean...yeah...

The UGLY

1. Wreckingball's Concrete Hands
If you're Rashard Mendenhall, there's one thing you can't do. And that's cough up the football. You've been brought in to run between the tackles and get those tough yards that a smaller, quicker back (read: FWP) can't get. It's pretty tough to do that if you can't keep the ball in your hands. That said, one exhibition game does not a season make. And I'm certainly not expecting this trend to continue. Plus, he did gain 79 yards on 15 carries. So overall, I'm still encouraged by the young blood.

2. The NFL
Honestly, if you're going to make us play these preseason games, the least you could do is make sure people can see them. This was the second straight week that I found the game blacked out in the NYC region. Of course, had I been a couple of hours further South in Jersey, I'd have been able to see it. But oh no, not in Hoboken. Not when both NY teams were playing each other. And that's understandable. But couldn't you make it a little easier for those of us who live in the biggest TV market in the country to choose which game we want to watch? Help a brotha out!

3. This Beer Bonging
Lest you assume no one was drinking this weekend, let this video of Tecmo and I bonging beers serve as evidence to the contrary...


All this said, if you're concerned about our shortcomings this weekend, just gander at how our AFC North Rivals fared...

Browns

It's ok, Sean Rogers changes everything...

Bengals

Defense is overrated anyhow...

Ravens

"Viral illness," sounds like a case of not-wanting-to-play-preseason-itis...

And finally, can we get a moment of silence for the impending death of the Browns poopy-pants? It seems their days are marked...


Ok, your turn. What did you guys think? What encouraged you? What discouraged you? And did you see those Vikings cheerleaders? [Insert witty remark here]

PS - Apologies for the excessively long post. What can I say? I love the Steelers...

GAME RECAPS:
Gigs' Live Blog [Blog 'N' Gold]
Reed the Only Kick in Offense [Post-Gazette]
Reed, Steelers "D" Boot Vikings [Trib]
Vikings 'D' Shines in Last Second Loss to Steelers [Associated Press]
Steelers Pull Out Victory Over Vikings, 12-10 [KDKA]
Steelers vs. Vikings Box Score [ESPN]

Calling All OFTOTr's...

It's 7:45 PM. A mere 15 minutes from game time.

And if we all close our eyes and believe in Big Ben, maybe, just maybe, Tobiathan will appear and give us some play-by-play in the comments.

So shut those peepers and start believing!

Quick, to the bar!

Two Days 'Til Antarctica...

So far this week...
1. The Steelers signed Orpheus Roye
2. Chuck Batch had shoulder surgery
3. Troy Polamalu returned to practice
4. Willie Parker stopped giving Wreckingball advice, and
5. Roy Lewis looks to have made a spot for himself on the active roster.

But forget all that, we have a preseason game on Saturday night.

Now, I'm sure you're all still reeling from the comedic goodness (read: sucking royally at life) of the last couple of days, but it's time to focus. Saturday is just two days away and preseason or not, if you're a real Steeler fan, you at least care about how the team fares. So let's discuss this thing, shall we?

Last week I did this in "three things I'll be watching" format. And that seemed to work pretty well for me. As for you all, who knows. Nonetheless, I'm going to go with it again this week.

As for that post title - well, Minnesota really is the god damned Arctic Circle (lest I get corrections in the comments, I'm well aware that Antarctica and the Arctic Circle are not one and the same). I've been to this state, and it's 95% ice, even in August. They're probably out there playing pond hockey right now. Which brings me to the point of all this...which is, they're playing in a dome. What does that mean to the post? Absolutely nothing.

With that, here are the three things I'll be watching for on Saturday...

1. Santonio returning punts
2. Wreckingball in the red zone
3. Justin Hartwig

First up is the great debate - should arguably our best receiver, who struggled readily with it during his first go around, be returning punts or not? For the record, I like Tomlin's suggestion that he might use San Antonio like the 'Skins of old did with Darrell Green (who's trading card I still have for reasons unknown). You know, put him in every now and then just to bust one (hopefully). But aside from that, I don't really think we need Santonio going anywhere near "Special" Teams. I may be wrong (which would make Tecmo wrong as well), but Santonio is going to have a monster year. The last thing I want to see is him regularly returning punts in the face of some of the NFL's most ravenous beasts. Just. Not. Necessary.

Moving on, I'd like to keep at least one eye on Wreckingball's goal line prowess. Obviously we didn't draft him to be a scat back, and he did well last week, but will he show us something again this week? No doubt in my mind. Again, I wasn't in love with the 11 carries for 30 yards stat. But the one stat that really counted for him was the TD. A six yard scamper, showing impressive poise for a guy who's really just a month into his professional career. So I'd like to see Wreckingball continue to demolish goal line Defenses, and Minnesota could be quite a test. Remember who they have up there - Pat Williams, KEVIN Williams, and JARED ALLEN. Not to mention Chad Greenway, EJ Henderson and Darren Sharper behind them. Wreckingball better equip his juggernaut armor and roll through those dudes...or else...something.

Lastly, in continuation of last week, Justin Hartwig with the first team Offense. I didn't really get to see the Buffalo game, so I had nothing tangible to draw from in forming an opinion about him. But after reading further into it, it seems like Mahan is the real starter right now and Tomlin is just evaluating how Hartwig fits with the rest of Big Ben's oxen up front. From a purely uninformed perspective, I've gotta think, "shake things up." Make it Hartwig's job to lose. You obviously brought him in for a reason. The Steelers don't just sign free agents for the hell of it. The guy must have SOME talent. Then again, Sean Mahan was a free agent pickup as well, so...

What do you guys think? Is all this preseason talk just a giant tease or what? Anything you'll be watching for on Saturday? And did anyone hide Steely McBeam's keys? That guy is smashed...

PS - if any of you are in the greater Minneapolis area, or by some odd twist of fate will be there on Saturday, my man Neal Coolong (formerly of the now-defunct, Die Hard Steel) will be in attendance at the game. Or so he tells me. So if you see him out there dancing bare assed in the parking lot by himself, be sure to take a picture and send it to me. That sucker's going on the wall of shame.

OFTOT's Season Preview Weeks 9-17...

Yesterday was fun. I had fun, didn't you? Lots of comments, lots of love [and cheerleader herpes] in the air. Must be football season.

Anyways, as promised, you'll find Part II of OFTOT's 2008-2009 Season Preview pasted neatly below for your amusement. Feel free to discuss any and all headlines/photoshops in the comments.

Lights, Camera, Action, Roll 'em...

OFTOT's 2008-2009 Season Preview

Week 9 vs. Washington (Away)

Rumor has it Daniel Snyder likes Wide Receivers.

Week 10 vs. Indianapolis (Home)

I'm still pissed off about Troy's interception-fumble-recovery.

Week 11 vs. San Diego (Home)

I can't wait to watch Silverback hurdle LT again. Ah, the memories.

Week 12 vs. Cincinnati (Home)

Where are Sam Wyche and Boomer Esiason when you need them?

Week 13 vs. New England (Away)

Cue Tobiathan. Where you at, brotha'?

Week 14 vs. Dallas (Home)

So wait, you play in Dallas but you train in SoCal? Sounds pretty she-she.

Week 15 vs. Baltimore (Away)

Kyle Boller? Are you even trying anymore?

Week 16 vs. Tennessee (Away)

Had to part ways with Neil O'Donnell once too. See, we aren't so different.

Week 17 vs. Cleveland (Home)

I think everything that needed to be said about the Browns was said during Monday Night's preseason game.

That my friends, is all she wrote. I sincerely hope you enjoyed the two part Season Preview extravaganza as much as I did. And I promise to give you back those brain cells at some point this season. Probably not today though. Or tomorrow...Or...uh, I'll just uh, call you later...

Thoughts?

OFTOT's Season Preview Weeks 1-8...

Unless you live under a rock, you're well aware that every year, Deadspin runs previews of each NFL team leading up to the regular season. And every year, Mondesi's House has handled the duty of writing the Steelers preview. But I thought it'd be fun to show you all what it might look like if I were tasked with telling this "story."

Now, one thing's for sure. If I wrote the preview, it would NOT be serious whatsoever. Frankly, I think most people who care to read a Steelers preview are probably Steelers fans (or Browns/Bengals/Ravens fans looking to pick a fight). And as our current strengths and weaknesses have been well chronicled all over the known universe, I wouldn't really feel the need to reiterate to you what you already know. Even if I did do it with the maximum amount of sarcasm and witty banter.

Instead, I was thinking it'd be more interesting/entertaining/humorous (perhaps?) if I told the 2008-2009 Steelers story through fake headlines. So below I've graciously sacrificed my precious free time to bring you Part I of OFTOT's 2008-2099 Steelers preview, covering Weeks 1-8. There aren't many words, but I'm pretty much operating under the principle that a picture is worth a thousand of 'em. And just so you're forewarned - these are pretty f'ing stupid. I may have outdone myself here...but I'll let you all be the judges.

With that, I give you...

OFTOT's 2008-2009 Season Preview

Week 1 vs. Houston (Home)

If you don't know what that headline references, you must not be from the Commonwealth.

Week 2 vs. Cleveland (Away)

The Browns are going to win the Super Bowl, in case you hadn't heard.

Week 3 vs. Philadelphia (Away)

By the way, thanks for Duce Staley, A-holes.

Week 4 vs. Baltimore (Home)

Leave your guns at home, this one's at Heinz Field.

Week 5 vs. Jacksonville (Away)

I'm still too upset to talk about it.

Week 6 -- BYE WEEK EXTRAVAGANZA

Tequila's a hell of a drink.

Week 7 vs. Cincinnati (Away)

By now, Chris Henry has already been arrested three times (he is innocent, of course).

Week 8 vs. N.Y. Giants (Home)

Thank god this one's at home, $9 for a beer is just way too much.

And that wraps the first half of the Steelers 2008-2009 season. Tomorrow we'll do Weeks 9-17. Until then, let me know what you think in the comments. Savvy?

Click Here for Part II

Eh, It's Only Preseason...

"We have to get our regular season legs under us pretty quickly and become a better tackling team. Nothing is broken schematically. Guys are where they are supposed to be. We don’t have enough guys making sure tackles.”

- Mike Tomlin

Trent Edwards stat line in Preseason Game 1 against the Redskins? 1 for 5, 18 yards, 0 TDs. Trent Edwards stat line in Preseason Game 2 against our Steelers? 9 for 11, 104 yards, 2 TDs. Beyond that, the Bills gained 159 rushing yards, and Bills 1st rounder, Leodis McKelvin ran a kick back 95 yards for a score, culminating in an overall 24-21 Steelers loss.

Though you may have already heard...

And when I say Steelers loss, I really mean it. Anytime you fall to a team that went 7-9 the year before, your first team Defense allows a second year QB to complete 80+% of his passes (not to mention scamper for 22 yards on 3rd down) and your "Special" teams lets up a 95 yard (!) kick return touchdown, you have effectively shit the bed.

Now, I'd get all up in arms about it. But it's August 18, not September 18. Should this trend continue however, it will certainly get less and less acceptable. Not that it's acceptable now. Preseason or not, if you're like me, you don't want to lose to the Bills. But really, there were plenty of POSITIVE things we can take from the game, including (but not limited to)...

1. Dennis Dixon TOUCHDOWN
I didn't get to see it, because apparently the broadcast was blacked out in the greater NYC area. But I did follow the ESPN and Tobiathan gamecasts feverishly, refreshing just about every 30 seconds. And when I saw "Dixon, TD, 47 yards" I damn near pissed myself. Everyone in the bar - already looking at me funny because I was wearing a huge Casey Hampton jersey when there was no game on - probably thought I was crazy when I got all too excited by my cell phone. Sure, this wasn't the Bills top Defensive unit, but that doesn't really matter to me. A 47 yard TD run? That's awesome. And if you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and fast forward the video below to the 3:50 mark.


2. Silverback ATTACK
As usual, manchild (perhaps more appropriately, apechild) James Harrison was a monster. 4 solo tackles and a sack. Plus, I think he was in on another sack. I mean, in only limited action that's pretty darn good. Looks like he's on pace to have an even bigger season than last year. Not that you or I had any doubt this would be the case.

3. Timmons ON FIRE
Again, not having seen the game, I can only comment from an inferential perspective. But when last year's first rounder, who only got limited playing time as a rookie, has eight total tackles - including five solo and a sack - I'd say that's pretty damn encouraging. Which brings me to my next point, Timmons needs a nickname. Let's exercise the brain trust in the comments.

4. Ladies and gentleman, DALLAS BAKER
In my mind, the battle for fifth wideout is no battle at all. The job should belong to second year man, Dallas Baker. 3 catches, 57 yards. I like those odds. Yeah, again, not the Bills starting D or anything. But I don't care. I liked the guy when we drafted him out of Florida, and I like him even more now. Hines Ward protege? Just might be. The only guy who might give him a run is Willie Reid. And I just can't believe that Reid's minimal impact over the last couple of years is worth a spot on the 53 man roster over a guy who clearly wants it and can back it up with his play. Dallas Baker, mark it dudes and dudettes.

5. Mendenhall Wreckingball, Goal Line BEAST
I wasn't enamored with his stats - 11 carries for only 30 yards. But as we all know, we're more counting on Wreckingball for his goal line prowess. And that, was fully evident on Thursday evening when he scored, diving into the end zone from six yards out. It did take him three tries to get there. But the point is - he was able to cash in when it counted. Let's hope this carries over to the regular season (pun intended).

Oh, and Santonio wasn't bad either. That's two straight games with a TD catch, this time for 40 yards. I'm honestly scared by how good he could be this year during the regular season. Any lingering questions as to why we traded up to get him in the '06 draft should pretty much be answered.

Also, anyone who's worried about Ben's pick, don't be. That's what happens sometimes when you throw the ball around. I know this is still kind of a foreign concept to us Steelers fans, but just remember, the man who holds the passing touchdowns record also holds the interceptions record. So long as your TD passes far outweigh your interceptions, you're fine. Let's just hope it pans out that way during the regular season. Think '07 Ben, not '06 Ben.

Now, the first team Defense allowing Trent Edwards, Marshawn Lynch (25 yards on 5 carries), and the rest of the Bills apparently high powered Offense march it down the field twice, that's another story. Lax or not, I would have preferred these guys to take this a little more seriously.

Now it's your turn(s) - What were your positives and negatives? What did you take away from this game? And, dude, what's up with the lack of broadcast?

PS - HUGE thanks to Tobiathan for basically live blogging the game in the comments section of Thursday's post. As I said, I was switching between the ESPN gamecast and the comments, and Steelbiathan's commentary explained just about everything I couldn't get from ESPN. Any of you interested in gameday discussion during the regular season, you should have something to look forward to...

GAME RECAPS:
Steelers lose to Buffalo [SteelCityInsider]
Edwards shines in Bills’ debut in Toronto [Associated Press]
First-team 'D' borderline vs. Bills [Post-Gazette]
Steelers take step back in Toronto [Trib]
Play-by-play [ESPN]
Video Highlights [NFL.com]

Oh, Canada...

Toronto, Canada. Home to universal health care, legalized marijuana, some of the world's finest strip clubs, and of course, tonight's second preseason game between our Steelers and the Buffalo Bills. Given that intro, I think you can guess what my biggest fear is...that's right, Jeff Reed missing the game. That's just way too much temptation.

I kid. I kid.

But let's talk about tonight a little bit. Normally on gameday during the regular season, I'd give you a full rundown of the "Llaves a Victoria" (or "Keys to Victory" for you non-Japanese speakers). But I'm not going to do that today. Why would I? The starters may take more snaps than they did last week, but I don't expect them to take significantly more.

So really the spotlight is only shining brightly on three men...well, one man, two "battles"...

1. Byron Leftwich
2. Justin Hartwig vs. Sean Mahan
3. Mitch Berger vs. Paul Ernster

Leftwich is the most obvious of the three. Having just signed a former 1st round pick and three year starter in Jacksonville, it'd be pretty hard for us fans to pretend like we weren't looking for a good first audition. Maybe I'm wrong, but tonight I'd like to see that Leftwich has gained at least a serviceable understanding of the offense, that he can hit his throws accurately, with just enough touch so that Nate Washington can catch them, and that he's in good shape (important given his history). Beyond that, he could be sitting on the sidelines drinking a Diet Coke or drawing up some schematics for his treehouse out in the North Hills. I don't even care.

The Hartwig/Mahan battle has always been, and will continue to be, the most important training camp battle. While Mahan had been taking the bulk of the snaps thus far in camp, and started last Friday night against the Eagles, Hartwig has taken over this week - both practicing with the first team and starting in this evening's exhibition. I personally hate to follow the angry mob, but Sean Mahan definitely blew goats last year. And not mini goats, either. Like, full sized, adult male goats. So I'm really hoping Hartwig can show some promise. Maybe even hint at the possibility of being the next long term Pittsburgh Center. Yes, it's probably just a tad early to start talking about him following in the footsteps of Mike Webster, Dermontti Dawson and Jeff Hartings (though not exactly "long" term, long enough for me). But traditionally, this position has been the least of our concerns. And I'd really like to get back to that. Show me something besides that sick mohawk, Justin. Pancake someone. I recommend Steely McBeam.

Then of course, there's the ever-exciting and oh-so-important battle for starting Punter. Apparently, even though we signed Paul Ernster and let him punt/kick off in last week's preseason game, the front office/coaching staff felt it was necessary to give him a little friendly competition. Enter Mitch Berger. What's the difference between the two? Damned if I know. Well, ok, it may be a yard or two in punt average. Excuse me if I haven't extensively researched the kicking prowess of our two potential consolation prizes. But I've been doing important stuff...like researching current 4th string QB, Mikey Potts. Anyways, I tend to like Ernster here. As I read somewhere this week, the difference in punting averages for most punters around the league really is only a yard or two. So having the added bonus of being able to kick off (and kick off well...9 yards deep in the end zone well, ahem ahem) is a roster-worthy asset. Not like we've got a whole lot better lined up.

And that just about does it, folks. What else to watch for tonight? I'll probably be watching to make sure Steely McBeam isn't exposing himself to unaccompanied minors. There's also probably some injury concerns I should be talking about. But frankly, I'm not even going to go there right now. It's still only August 14.

So who are you guys watching tonight? Any thoughts on the individuals/battles I mentioned above? What do you think about the ultimate score? Tomlin - 47, Jauron - 6? Sound fair?