I Need to Draft My Life Back...

As you all know, this Saturday is the annual NFL draft.

Some of you have spent months checking every site on the internets for just a whiff of who the Steelers will pick. Me, I've sat back and joked about how predicting who they'll draft is about as productive as being an Eagles fan.

Nevertheless, Tec and I were going to come up with something really cool and/or fly to do for Saturday. You know, like a special episode of the show or something.

But the fact of the matter is...

A) I'm a waste of life and thus have been zero help on that front, and
B) Even if I wanted to do something, it'd be awfully hard to lift myself out from underneath this mass of paper I'm currently buried under

Such is life as a law student/slow adult.

Either way, here's the other draft I'd like to see on Saturday...


Unfortunately for me, however, here's the other draft I probably WILL see on Saturday...


That all said, if it's some actual info on the Steelers and the draft you're seeking, I urge you to go read a serious blog. As far as I'm concerned, I'm going to watch and embrace whomsoever it is that Kevin Colbert deems worthy...

You really can't pretend to know more than the Steelers about who they should draft (at least when it comes to individual players). And if you do, please do us a favor and go talk about it somewhere else. I don't believe you anyhow.

I'm jusssstttt kidddddinnnngggg...ish.

I mean, if you feel like pontificating in the comments as to who you think the team will draft, be my guest. I may make jokes about the futility of this exercise, but that doesn't mean I'm any less interested in hearing what you all have to say. Unless your name is random asshole, that is.

Just kidding, asshole, [smiley face].

Now, I believe Domski was saying something about the Steelers drafting an O-Lineman in the first round. What was that again, man?

And finally, the random video of the day that has nothing to do with anything relevant...

That one goes out to Big Ben's cranium. It's an inside joke. One which I trust you all can figure out on your own.

Back to studying, now. FMyLife.com.

PS - Like I told Steve, I'm thinking about holding a religious draft. If you want in, let me know. Caveat = I've already called God AND Jon Kitna. Just so we're clear.

PPS - Percy Harvin and Brandon Tate puff the magic dragon. Apparently, weed is the new black.

And...I'm out!

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Meeting People Is Easy...

I was going to post this last night, but when there's a game on that's in six overtimes, you can't really be writing things on the internet. Sidebar: I'm a well known Syracuse hater, but I'm an even more well known UConn hater. So well done, you orange assholes. Good luck against West Virginia...Pitt fail blog.

Anyways, Friday is pretty awesome. I don't know about you all, but I'm pretty fired up that we've made it through another week without me writing about some Steeler being photographed with his dick out.

Some people on this week's panel wanted me to share some links with you. I've inserted those where applicable.

That's what she said.

Anyways, all rise for this week's honorable panel...Presiding this week are...

1. Dan Gigler
2. Tiny350z
3. Marc
4. Vern ~ Sick beret on this guy, though.
5. Steve
6. Jon
7. bigTC
8. Noah
9. Doug ~ Will make a Photoshop pro out of me if it kills him.
10. Ben ~ I actually love this song. Biz Markie for life!
11. John Woods
12. Neena
13. Grumpy
14. Keith
15. Nate
16. Matt ~ He's 100% right about this song. Awful.
17. Domski ~ Check it out, the FAIL Blog finally got him.
18. Some Douche ~ Frankly, I'm sick of this guy's shit. He will be getting banned from this site later.

As you can see, we have one new face on the panel this week. That'd be my man, Grumpy - proprietor of the blog, Grumpy Old Dog. You've probably seen me link to it a couple of times this week. If you haven't already, I'd strongly suggest you check it out. It's a real Solid (with a capital "S" apparently) read.

Anyways, I'm still more or less comatose, so why don't you just move right on to the grids. Yes, gridS. I'm incapable of excluding anyone, so in an attempt to contain the size of these beasts, I split the grid in two this week. I was feeling kind of crazy.

That's how I do's it.

And........go.

Click to enlarge...



I'm just gonna go inject myself with adrenaline now. Coffee is for pussies.

I'll be right back.

Talk amongst yourselves.

I'll give you a topic - If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself? (see 0:42)

I know I would (if I wasn't a vegetarian, of course).

Weekend Scrapbook...

Well, things started off well enough. Domski arrived promptly around 3:15 PM, Saturday. We even got him a parking spot right out front of my place. Tec then arrived, but a few minutes later, and it was ON.

We hit up CVS, looking for holiday decorations. 'Cause, you know, it was a party. We came out with one string of 150 lights, two stockings, a "Snowy White Woods" scented candle, four AA batteries, two rolls of paper towel, and a four pack of toilet paper. And let me just say - if you think 150 lights is a lot, you're wrong. We should've gotten 600 lights. But, you live and you learn, right.

Then we went looking for some Malibu Bay Breezes...just kidding. We went across the street to the liquor store and beer'd up. Behold...


But then, things started to turn. It was about 6:00 by that time, and I had eaten about an hour before, but Domski said now he was hungry. So Domski and Tec started perusing menus on Delivery.com, and I convinced myself to get something, because otherwise I probably wouldn't eat dinner. After we had what we wanted, Domski hit "place order." Only, he didn't hit "place order." And we only realized that he didn't hit "place order" at like 7:30.

So we corrected that problem and assumed, you know, that we'd wait the typical 45 minutes then destroy the tasty dishes we'd recently ordered up. But, no. Shit did not get here until 9:15!

Strike one.

Then, people started giving me excuses. "It's too cold out," "I'm not feeling well," "I'm blow drying my hair tonight." That kind of pussy shit. But you know what? I wasn't going to let that rain on our parade. So the games began...err...at this point, it was more like continued. Some of us drank, some of us did not. Domski, did not.

Strike two.

So you know, we're hanging out, watching the Ravens-Cowboys game. Drinking some beverages. Laughing. Joking. People in, people out. At around 11:45 we decide to play some Rock Band. So we do that for half an hour. Then, it's now or never for the bar. And we depart...

People in NJ are a bunch of retards. We tried first to just hit the bar up the block from my place. Wasn't far, they had beer, they had Big Buck Hunter, and presumably they had young, impressionable chickadees, whose company we might be lucky enough to enjoy. But apparently the bouncer there had never seen a PA license, because when Tec showed the guy his, the guy thought he had a Dup. But, as all of you with PA licenses know, regardless of whether or not you actually have a Dup, there's a little "DUPS" on each license that usually says 00, as Tecmo's did. Still, this idiot couldn't get it through his skull. And he was even so rude as to say, "no, they're not old enough," when some chick came by to try and sell us on some cigarette promotion she was doing.

Strike three.

From there, we walk to the usual stomping grounds. Approximately seven blocks or so. At this point I believe it was raining, snowing, something like that. Which, of course, just made it more fun. We checked out the scene at a couple of places and nothing seemed to be going our way. We were kind of tired of walking around in the freezing cold, so I suggested a bar right up the block that I knew wouldn't be too crowded, but just crowded enough for us to do a little socializing. And away we went.

Finally, success! After 20 minutes of buzz killing. I order a round for all and open a tab. I tell the bartender to keep it open. I'm a project manager, I can handle that shit. That's my credit. Anyways, we really kind of just enjoyed the various dramas going on around us. Some weird ass dude and chick were having a little domestic tiff to our left. They were escorted out. But not before I got this interview with Domski about it...


I take a bunch of pictures, thoroughly enraging my cohorts...





Then, we watch people dance. Poorly. Mostly me. But that's another story. We drink a few more, enjoy the scene a little bit and decide, "you know what? It's time to get some bagels and head home." So we book it up to the bagel place, secure some doughy goodness, book it back home, house the shit out of them, and respectively pass out in various corners of my apartment.

Then, of course, we woke up on Sunday, set up the live broadcast, locked that shit down, and hit the bar again.




We get the whole back room for the game. We set up Browns-Bengals on the other TV. I mean, why not? Who else did we care to watch? New England-Arizona? FAIL!


Tec and I order beers. Domski gets a coffee. And a sex change.


We watch the game play out. I throw my towel a couple of times. Domski yells at me for getting too fired up. We high five after the touchdowns and Silverback's sack, and we curse every one of those four fumbles and the two picks.

By the way - thanks again, Ben.

We lament the loss, we eat some solid munchies and we roll.

And that's pretty much where it ends.

It was an awesome time. It probably doesn't sound like much the way I just served it up for you, but it really was. Thanks to Domski and Tec for kicking it with me! And let the record show that, as usual, Domski was not drinking.

Let's hope we can recreate some of the magic for my birthday in a few weeks!

Solid.

So what'd you guys do this weekend?

Meeting People Is Easy...

Quick, no time for small talk. To the introductions!

This week's esteemed panel is...

1. John Woods - Still rockin' and rollin' at The Fifth Down.

2. Doug - Get Fresh Designs and Rants a plenty!

3. Jup - Dude, how was your trip? I totally forgot to ask!

4. Shawn - Holding down OFTOT's South to Southwest region.

5. tiny350z - My Hoboken buddy.

6. THE big TC - One of the only known fans of the [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show.

7. Ben - Not Steely McBeam's biggest fan.

8. Ladi Izz - My liveblog buddy.

9. Notgomu - Funny he should mention Kevin Boss...waiver wire vulture!

10. Nate - You call that chick, yet?

11. Marc - Is going to Sunday's game and I am real jealous.

12. Matt - Where Brooklyn at?

13. Silky Johnson - Still an Eagles fan.

14. Cotter's Dad - Rigging up spycameras to videotape the Pats spycameras.

15. Domski - Still molding the young minds of Delaware's children.

16. Me - One of these days, these grids are going to break me.

Yeah, you're definitely going to have to click this one to enlarge...

Don't mind me, I'll be with y'all shortly. Just gotta wake my tired ass up. Is it Friday yet? Oh wait...

And if you feel so inclined, we'd all love to hear YOUR answers in the comments. Leave them after the beep...

Meeting People Is Easy...

It's been a long week. Last Saturday morning I woke up feeling like I'd just died, and I hadn't even drank the night before. Oh no, this wasn't hangover sick. This was like, my head feels like it's about to explode and my body is being taken over by mucus sick. And I'm still not fully recovered. Plus, you know, I have a real job that requires my attention. Sometimes.

Anyways, shitty week or not, I wasn't going to let Meeting People Is Easy slip. A man's gotta have priorities, right? Unfortunately for me, MPIE represents one of the higher ones. Right up there with school and eating Pepperidge Farm Orange Milano cookies.

This week it's an all Steelers fan/blogger cast. The panel consisting of...

Christmas Ape ~ Poised to destroy me in fantasy this Sunday...hard.

The Immortal Silky Johnson ~ Recently victimized by his company's e-Censorship policy...

Tobiathan ~ Has already commented on this post in his mind...

Don ~ Man, it's been too long since we've had Don on the panel...

Random Asshole ~ Yes, the worst part about living in Boston would definitely be all the Patriot "fans..."

Jup ~ Headed to the 'Burgh for the next week...if you see him, say hello...

Sean ~ See, I'm of the mindset that you can't really know someone UNTIL you've seen them in their pajamas at the grocery store...

Nate ~ Social commentator...

THE Jim ~ This is exactly the type of attorney I'd like to become...

Domski ~ Living among some of the country's best and brightest...

Me ~ Come pick me up...take me out...well, you know this one, don't you?

As usual, click to enlarge...


Man, I'm going to bed. Catch you all on the internets.

Tecmo's "Special" Day...

Good morning people of the internets.

Unbeknownst to you, today is a big day. Today is the day that this man pictured here turns another year older. That's right, today is Tecmo's Birthday.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I attempted to put together a friars-club style roast of Tec. But unfortunately, of the large chunk of friends/bloggers I emailed, only a few provided any kind of sign they were alive. Accordingly, you'll find these individuals birthday wishes/stories/roasting-ish, below.

I urge the rest of you to use the comments section of this post to send any further well wishes his way. After all, he needs all the props he can get.

Here goes...

From: Joey Porter's Pitbulls

"Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies is an inspiration to Joey Porter's Pit Bulls. In fact, Joey Porter's Pit Bulls really, really like Mini Ponies, as you will ascertain in the story at the following link:
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/sports/steelers/s_471473.html"

From: Tobiathan

"Cotter, please forward my birthday congratulations to Tecmo -- Happy Birthday, Mr. Mini-pony!!!"

From: Domski

"Happy Birfday Tecmo, looking forward to beer bonging with you in NYC/Hoboken or at a Steelers game in the near future."

From: Tecmo's Sister, Sheena Beaston

"I like lists, so Happy Birthday dillweed. Here's the top 3 sporting moments in Tecmo and Sheena Beaston's brother-sister history. (these memories prove our wild ass childhood imaginations...hard.)

3. Remember that time we were playing "soccer" in the backyard. Like with a picnic table bench as the net, me in "goal" and you murdering a penalty shot with a 4-square ball all of maybe 7 feet away from me? Thanks for the broken fingers. And for the best "save" I ever made.

2. Playing football in the backyard and naming each of the trees after Steelers players of the time. Best roster member? Louis "the Pine Tree" Lipps. Or maybe Merrill "Hedge".

1. The Penguins had just won their first Stanley Cup. As a family on a relatively tight budget, pro hockey equipment we did not have. So 1 wooden hockey stick, a field hockey stick, a croquet mallet, and a whiffle ball served as our apparatii when me, you, and our other sister pretended to be the treacherous trio of Lemieux, Jagr, and Barrasso. Apparently, pops thought it was a good idea to video tape our shenanigans. And it proved worthy seeing as how youngest bro walked his face straight into a flying "puck" after a nasty slap shot by you. And that video is floating around somewhere.

Ultimately after all your antics, I still let you move into our apartment this year. And I wouldn't have it any other way. (Now help me finish typing this...my "once broken fingers" are cramping up on me.)

Happy Birthday!

And of course...

From: Cotter

"Dude, I swear - you say the word, "hard," more than anyone else in the history of the world. Also, you suck at Rock Band more than anyone else in the history of the world.

There is one thing you rule at though, besides saying "rule."

And that is...not drinking. I don't think I've ever seen anyone drink less than you. You're like a little girl. Grow a pair, Shirley Temple. This is the big leagues."

Seriously though. Tecmo's a real good dude and I'm privileged to make his acquaintance.

We've had some awesome times in the past, and I'm sure we'll have some awesome times tormenting Browns fans in the [near] future.

If you go out for your bday, buy yourself a Three Wise Men for me, man.

Cheers to many many more [birthdays AND $1.20 20 oz. drafts]!!!

Meeting People Is Easy...

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls. Step right up to see a show of epic proportions.

This week's Meeting People Is Easy is jam packed with fresh faces...

The panel is as follows:
1. Joey Porter's Pitbulls ~ Authority on Pittsburgh sports
2. Don ~ Man behind Rooney Tunes and Former Shaler Area legend
3. Tecmo ~ I tried to leave him off, but his answers were just too good
4. Random Asshole ~ Dude is super smart
5. The Starter Wife ~ Sports a severely cool foam hat
6. Domski ~ Current Acting Executive Editor (of interweb porn)

Click to enlarge...


Sorry friends, serious shit went down last night for me. This is the best I can do.

Hope it was still enjoyable enough...

UPDATE: I forgot about this when I was posting today's MPIE last night at 2:30 AM (yes, you read that correctly...). I wanted to share with you all my answer to the question - "Weirdest thing a Coach ever said to me." My answer, and believe me - I couldn't make this up even if I wanted to, was (said by my high school hockey Coach)...

"Cotter, you want to score? Get in the Fertile Triangle."

"The fertile triangle" being the area between the two hashmarks and the top of the goal crease in the offensive zone...yes yes, not THAT fertile triangle. Although that'd be scoring too, I think...see diagram below:

Meeting People Is Easy...

It's baaaacccckkkkk. I'm sure you all missed it last week, didn't you? Come on, admit it. Strong men also cry. Strong men...also cry.

Anyways, yeah. Today is "Meeting People Is Easy" day. And while this week's panel is at least half made up of people who DON'T read OFTOT, I still think it's pretty entertaining.

Your panelists here are...
Nicole ~ Also known as Mrs. Domski.
Bunda ~ Mythical creature of note.
Me ~ Original Gangsta'.
Domski ~ Does not drink beers.

I could go on, but let's face it -- It's Friday and if you guys are anything like me you just want the answers. So I'm going to leave it at that. Below are your introductions. If there's anything you can't see, click on the image. You have your instructions, now go forth and learn...

Happy Almost Weekend. Only eight more hours 'til beer...Good week friends, would you agree?

No News, No Time, No Problem...

Alright, there still isn't anything interesting going on in Steelerland. Except for that little bowling excursion Tuesday. And seeing as how I already covered the team playing one unorthodox sport this week, today I've once again resorted to unbridled misguided creativity to entertain you. But you'll be happy to know there will be no haikus this time. Just Photoshop.

See, I got inspired on Monday. A friend of mine forwarded me one of those emails you normally laugh at half-heartedly and promptly delete. But after seeing all of the fun someone else had with Photoshop, I got an idea.

Certainly this isn't anything new and different for me (what follows that is, not having ideas). But I did a little experimenting of my own with those fun motivational posters or whatever they're supposed to be.

The culmination of this idiocy is what you will see below. And I promise, I tried to keep it Steelers relevant. Really, I did.

I sincerely hope you enjoy...


Seriously, I haven't seen a four-on-one like this since Domski's wedding.


Good thing he turned out to be famous.


So don't make them.


At least he didn't try and stop Silverback from getting his son baptized.


Unexplainable.


Sorry, I had to.


And some of us have no rhythm.


And this was only on page four of the search results.
[Photo "Credit" - FreakingNews.com]


Ladies & gentleman, Domski ate four fruit parfaits...at one time. No joke.


February 5, 2006, a day of infamy for a generation of Steelers fans.

There, how was that? Still mad about yesterday's non-post, post? What say you? Did I do good?

Meeting People Is Easy...

Booyakasha!!!!

After a long week of dicking around, Friday is finally here. So in classic One For The Other Thumb fashion, I am pleased to bring you another tantalizing edition of Meeting People Is Easy.

This week's panel is comprised of commenter/badass - Marc, zebra-hater/ex-party animal - Tobiathan, sushi wizard/blogger - Blitzburgh, and making his first appearance, author of Die Hard Steel - Neal Coolong.

As usual, if anything below seems blurry or illegible, click on the image to enlarge.

Now, as much as Cotter claims to be on hiatus, he couldn't help but comment on a couple of this week's responses. His comments, as dictated, are:

• Number one - Marc - Cotter isn't sure if "your favorite Madonna song" is rather just a declaration of what you like to do when you're thinking about Madonna...because he says he's pretty sure that's not a Madonna song (and listen, if anyone would know...).
• Number two - Cotter couldn't figure out how to hyperlink text in an image, but the video Blitzburgh is referring to in response to the superdelegate question is here.
• Number three - Marc really wanted his avatar to be the Penguins streaker, but since Cotter couldn't find a good pic, he settled on his soberness, Jeff Reed.
• Number four - Cotter "honestly believes Tobiathan was in or at least could have been in 'Rhinestone Cowboy.'" And also, in case anyone can't tell, Cotter has finally acquiesced (his word, not mine) and used Owen Schmitt as Tobiathan's avatar.

That wraps up week one of the Domski Experiment. Stay tuned for week two...how am I doin' so far?

PREVIOUS EDITIONS:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6

Yinz Guyz Gahn' Dahntahn?

Is it 5:30 yet? I'll bet you all are thinking the same thing I'm thinking right now - let me out of this friggin' place! It's time to do a little restin', relaxin', and most of all, drinkin'. But before I jet, I thought I'd offer you all a quick recap of the day's hottest Steeler/NFL/PA related news items.

So read on:

• Congress has spoken and it has said - screw you Gene Upshaw. You're a dick. Your players have shit for benefits after they retire. Now, give us all your records. Must have been Ditka.


• Rumor has it Kyle Boller might be starting for Baltimore this Sunday...that's enough. Next story.


• William Gay just "gets" Dick LeBeau. Hence, chances are we may see more of him in the coming weeks. Certainly Week 7 at Denver if McFadden is still down. Ain't gonna find any arguments here, hoss.


• Pittsburgh Tribune-Review columnist John Harris and Steelers beat writer Scott Brown play Pardon The Interruption. Highlight 1: John Harris suggesting Daniel Sepulveda could or should be rookie of the year! Highlight 2: Scott Brown suggesting the Patriots need to work on their stealth videotaping skills, and John Harris putting the word out to Steven Spielberg.


• This week's police blotter chock full of Pennsylvania Running Backs: Steelers' Deuce Davenport and Penn State's Austin Scott. As far as Davneport is concerned - like I said in comment on D.C. Steeler Nation this afternoon - sometimes, like wayne brady, you just gotta choke a bitch. And regarding Austin Scott - they oughta lock his ass up and throw away the key. Awful human being. Course, I guess there's something to be said for innocent until proven guilty, huh?

Last thing I want to mention today is that my good friend Domski will be back in the 'Burgh this weekend. So if any of you yinzers see him out and about, possibly eating a fruit parfait (exhibit A below) or maybe some potato pancakes at Eat n' Park, feel free to say hello and ask him if he thinks the Eagles are going to win the Super Bowl. Taking the weekend off for a change. See yinz on Monday, drink some 'ahrns for me this weekend.