Man, This Blogging Is Hard Work...

Yes, this image is a recycle. I'm saving the environment man. I'm going "green."

Alright, seriously. This week has really challenged my ability to make luke warm news into something interesting. Or maybe you like haikus and hot chicks?

Anyways, I have to admit that today I really don't have much either. The best I can do for you is -

(1) Nate Washington Was Signed For One More Year
(2) This Dude At Yahoo! Sports Thinks The Jaguars Own The Steelers, and
(3) The Steelers Have One UNrighteous Schedule Next Season.

I'll address these one by one:

(1) Great. I'm not going to piss myself over us resigning a solid #4 receiver who despite some untimely butterfingers is actually a decent threat. But I'm much happier to have him than Cedrick Wilson (for example). So Kudos to the Steelers on that one.

(2) OWN? I don't know if I'd go that far in describing the last four games against the jagoffs Jaguars. But I recognize this guy's right to exaggerate the recent results of this adversarial relationship. I will say for the record, however, that these last four games in which jagoffville Jacksonville has prevailed, the average margin of victory has been an earthshattering SIX points. Less than a touchdown. So perhaps he meant they owned a minority interest in the Steelers? And oh, by the way - he also thinks the Week 17 Browns vs. Steelers game is going to be a doozy, although he's too puss to make a pick...

(3) So you're upset/surprised/sad/hungry that the Patriots have the easiest schedule in football next year while the Steelers have the hardest? Don't be. They play in a division with the Bills, Dolphins and Jets. Teams that were a combined 12-36 last season (for you Math majors thats a .333 or 33% .25 or 25% [thanks to commenter for correction] combined win percentage). As for the Steelers, well, nobody said it'd be easy. If we want to make the playoffs and win a Championship, we're going to have to be at the top of our game for 20-21 weeks (however long the schedule is with post-season). But hey, the flip-side is that any team can come out and crap the bed at any time in any season. This year let's hope it's the Browns. They're already the right color anyhow (that one might take a minute).

What else? Oh yeah, the Steelers met with LB Philip Wheeler from Georgia Tech, DE/LB James Jones from Eastern Michigan and 6'5" WR Mario Urrutia from Louisville. And Ashlee Simpson, misguided/surgically modified sister to Jessica, is pregnant.

Did I miss anything?
[Note: purposefully did not include the story about Ryan Clark and his anger for trainers or Chad Johnson in any way, shape, form, etc.

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Steelers Washington Signs Tender Offer [Trib]
Steelers Rugged Schedule Rocks Round The Clock [Post-Gazette]
Best, Worst Games of '08 [Yahoo! Sports]
Steelers Washington Signs One Year Contract [Post-Gazette]
Steelers Meet With Louisville Receiver [Post-Gazette]

Wait...Is There A Special Teams Problem or Something?

"Just because things go bad, I don't want to have a knee-jerk reaction and be emotional. We are not in that business. We are professionals...There won't be drastic changes. That is not how we operate."
- Mike Tomlin

Morning Steeler fans! Much is doing in the world of the Pittsburgh Steelers on this fine Wednesday. And as usual, I am making it my duty to bring it all to you in the most entertaining way possible...by mocking things most sarcastically...

Nonetheless, I want to start off on a more serious but uplifting note, by saying - I was very glad to hear and see that Fast Willie Parker's visit to the Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh (just so you know, that's not correct English...) was a thrilling experience for the kids. In case you had not deduced from reading this blog over the past year or so of it's existence (and as usual god bless you if you have been reading that long), I happen to love kids. So while I may have only helped generate like two votes toward sending Willie over there with a $5,000 check, I'd like to think at least you and I both did our parts.

Here are a couple photos from Willie's visit, sent over by the good people at FedEx (they really are very nice by the way, I'm not being sarcastic...hard to tell sometimes, I know):
And now, on to the lighter but equally interesting news items of note for October 14, 2007. Here they are in no particular order:

• Bob Ligashesky teaches the Ladies about the X's and O's -- Wait, who is teaching people the X's and O's? Maybe not the best person to be teaching anybody anything right now...good thing he had Nate Washington, Bryant McFadden and Partyboy Jeff Reed on hand...and yes, that is a picture of Jeff Reed instructing the ladies (see above). Shortly after that picture was shot, Jeff wowed them all by showing them how to tie a double overhand fisherman's knot in his spikes...is there even such a thing? I just made that up...


• Ryan Clark and Jerame Tuman placed on IR -- I believe the Steelers have just told us, once again, it's Chidi Iwuoma time...PS - much buzz around a Chidi return has already circulated the Steelers blogosphere- Read about it here, here and here.


• "It's a not-so-special season for Steelers in kick coverage" -- Tell me something I don't know...did you guys think of this story all by yourselves? I mean, I dressed myself today but you don't see me going and writing a story about it...


• Ever wondered how the Steelers relieve those aches and pains? -- I mean, besides prescription drugs and tiger balm...They see Dr. Jeffrey Cohen over in Oakland. Credentials? Well, Cohen has been treating Steelers since the '70's but also, he "had worked on" Mr. Rogers for years...pretty sharp contrast between a 300-pound lineman and a cardigan wearing children's show host...but I guess we all need a little relief, right?

Last but not least, not Steelers news, but I wanted to point out this article, praising Peyton Manning's "toughness" in Indy's Sunday night loss to the Chargers. Wait a minute...If that were Big Ben who threw 6 interceptions in a prime time game, they'd be calling him a hack. But Petyon throws 6 and he's showing "toughness?" Give me a break...Granted, if Ben threw 6 INTs we probably wouldn't have an actual chance to win the game. Nevertheless, I'm severely disappointed in you Sports Illustrated. How are you going to give a guy props who turned the ball over 6 times(!?!?) Somebody look up how many QBs have ever thrown 6 picks in a game, I wanna see those names...is Kordell on that list?

We'll Always Have The Memories....

"I don't like too many people I compete against when I am competing...I expect it to be heated and it definitely will be in terms of the hatred and things of that nature."

- Mike Tomlin

So much bullshit news...so little time. What's a man to do?

By the way - you may have notice a moderate decrease in the length and volume of posts this week...this is by design. I apologize for not being able to really dig into any substantive analysis of the Ravens, but never you fret your purty little heads...Thursday ye shall have that which ye crave.

For now, enjoy these hot Steelers news items of the week:

• Ricardo Colclough - don't let the door hit you in the ass! As my esteemed fellow Steelers blog guru Christmas Ape over at DC Steeler Nation so eloquently put it, "An Historic Wrong Has Been Righted." Hopefully in time we can all forget the disappointment of watching a 2nd round draft pick struggle at Cornerback...struggle at returning kicks...struggle at life (probably, but I can't back that up factually). But for now all that matters is he is no longer sucking the life out of a roster spot. Instead the Steelers re-signed Anthony Madison. Upgrade? I think a traffic cone in the secondary would've been an upgrade. Bravo Kevin Colbert.


• For those of you who already own the Hines Ward underwear and collectible 50 cent piece, I give you the Hines Ward Limited Edition Cell Phone. Honestly, how long do you think Cricket Wireless was sitting on that announcement just waiting for Hines to deliver a monster game? Apparently just long enough. Buyer's beware, this phone comes with what I'm sure is the least annoying ring tone ever featuring Hines' voice saying "Yo, it's Hines Ward. Your phone’s ringing. Do you want to catch it or do you want it to go to voicemail?" I prefer Rich Boy's "Throw Some D's On..." myself, just saying...But a portion of the proceeds do go to charity so I suppose I shouldn't be a total cynic. If you want to buy this, I'll let it slide.


• Oh, Big Ben's elusiveness frazzles defenses, huh? Well maybe he wouldn't have to be so god damn elusive if our line knew anything about protecting the QB. Yeah, I know, Ben has moved well and shook guys off like whoa THIS SEASON. But let me call your attention to that lick Bart Scott put on Ben last season (see clip below if you're daring). Reminder Steeler fans - this problem has not been resolved. Nonetheless, yes, Ben is a monster. I can't wait to watch him stiff arm Ray Lewis like a bitch.


• Last but certainly not least, please go immediately to Die Hard Steel and read Coolong's post about Bill Belichick, the "evil genius," running up the score, and being a total dickwad in general, all in the name of motivating his team. If you haven't read it, punch yourself in the face right now. And for the record, I still maintain that Belichick knows where Bin Laden is hiding and just won't tell anyone to be an asshole.

Cheers friends, hope you enjoyed the hot lunch...I mean hot links...more tomorrow. Be sure to see the post below and vote for Willie Parker as this week's FedEx Ground Player of the Week.

And remember - "always be closing."

Yinz Guyz Gahn' Dahntahn?

Is it 5:30 yet? I'll bet you all are thinking the same thing I'm thinking right now - let me out of this friggin' place! It's time to do a little restin', relaxin', and most of all, drinkin'. But before I jet, I thought I'd offer you all a quick recap of the day's hottest Steeler/NFL/PA related news items.

So read on:

• Congress has spoken and it has said - screw you Gene Upshaw. You're a dick. Your players have shit for benefits after they retire. Now, give us all your records. Must have been Ditka.


• Rumor has it Kyle Boller might be starting for Baltimore this Sunday...that's enough. Next story.


• William Gay just "gets" Dick LeBeau. Hence, chances are we may see more of him in the coming weeks. Certainly Week 7 at Denver if McFadden is still down. Ain't gonna find any arguments here, hoss.


• Pittsburgh Tribune-Review columnist John Harris and Steelers beat writer Scott Brown play Pardon The Interruption. Highlight 1: John Harris suggesting Daniel Sepulveda could or should be rookie of the year! Highlight 2: Scott Brown suggesting the Patriots need to work on their stealth videotaping skills, and John Harris putting the word out to Steven Spielberg.


• This week's police blotter chock full of Pennsylvania Running Backs: Steelers' Deuce Davenport and Penn State's Austin Scott. As far as Davneport is concerned - like I said in comment on D.C. Steeler Nation this afternoon - sometimes, like wayne brady, you just gotta choke a bitch. And regarding Austin Scott - they oughta lock his ass up and throw away the key. Awful human being. Course, I guess there's something to be said for innocent until proven guilty, huh?

Last thing I want to mention today is that my good friend Domski will be back in the 'Burgh this weekend. So if any of you yinzers see him out and about, possibly eating a fruit parfait (exhibit A below) or maybe some potato pancakes at Eat n' Park, feel free to say hello and ask him if he thinks the Eagles are going to win the Super Bowl. Taking the weekend off for a change. See yinz on Monday, drink some 'ahrns for me this weekend.

'Tis The Season for Cut Blocks...

First of all, I wanna give my humblest thanks to the Post-Gazette's Blog 'n Gold, who graciously threw me a link yesterday. You guys have been good to me in the past, and I'm really beyond thankful you're looking out for me this season. I think more people have visited this blog in the last 24 hours than probably visited over the last 2 months. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Consequently, if you think you're a Steeler fan and you don't read Blog n' Gold, I suggest you start. Soon.

Now, since I've yet to encounter any compelling Steeler news today with which to compose A full blog post, I figured I'd give you all a quick run down of what's going on around the league that might interest, surprise, amuse, or entertain you (er...I'll do my best).

Today's News Roll:

• Leading off today: Eric Steinbach is calling a party foul on Patriots Linebacker/touchdown vulture Mike Vrabel. Steinbach claims that Vrabel "dove at the knees" Browns recent 1st round selection Joe Thomas on one of the final plays of Sunday's game. Between this and Trent Green's unfortunate incident, I hereby declare this past weekend the weekend of the Cut Block.


• Next up: Willie Parker, king of all NFL running backs. Well, at least rushing leader. With Sunday's 102 yard performance, his 4th 100 yard day in 5 weeks, Fast Willie puts himself back on top, with 507 rushing yards. Gee, imagine what he could do with Dan Kreider leading the way with any kind of regularity...


• Shocking realization of the day: Ike Taylor leads the Steelers in interceptions! Ok, so he's only got 2 picks. But that's two more picks than most of the rest of our guys. Guess I should go a little easier on him...nah, nevermind, I'll still give him shit.


• Breaking News: You might have noticed a lack of discussion on One For The Other Thumb about power rankings. This is because I think if you have to rely on a list compiled by someone who's job it is to ride the bandwagon, you'll never see the big picture. Fact is, I don't care what the power rankings say. They aren't going to win us games...or teach Ike Taylor to catch. But hey, I'm just one man...make up your own minds.

Last but not least, hats off to Mack Strong. Strong suffered a "herniated disc in his neck pinching his spinal cord" in Sunday's game against our Steelers, consequently forcing him into retirement. An undrafted fullback couldn't ask for a better career (PS - you're Dan Kreider's hero). Formidable foe. Sorry to get all serious on you guys, but there's nothing funny about spinal injuries.

As for news, that about does it. Check back with me tomorrow for more...

Heyo, Deuce Davenport At It Again!

This is the kind of story I just sit at my desk or at home waiting to read. One man's dream of what we call "blog material"...well, I'd at least give it 3 stars out of 4. So, according to KDKA.com, backup tailback Najeh Davenport had "a run in" with Cleveland police after a "domestic dispute" with the mother of his 5-year old son.

From what I gather, and I assume I'm getting these facts right, Najeh (or Deuce, whichever you prefer) roused said mother of his child when he arrived at her home to collect his son for a visit (which he claims a legal right to do). There was allegedly some sort of "altercation" in which I'm sure there was a lot of screaming, kicking, hair pulling and broken heels involved (mostly on the part of Najeh no doubt), the most significant event in the whole thing apparently coming when the woman pulled Najeh's son out of his car. God knows why that was significant...pretty vague in the details section...

Actually, come to think of it, it's not really a very interesting story. Najeh ought to learn, if he's going to have altercations with the law, for the sake of my blog, he should really make them more compelling. But whatever.

Anyways, no charges have yet been filed and Najeh claims "if the glove don't fit, you must acquit"...er...rather that he never laid a finger on this woman. I believe you dude, I believe you.

Just goes to show you. That's what you get for hanging out in Cleveland, man.

** UPDATE: KDKA.com now has audio from the 911 call...check it.

See also:
Najeh Davenport (S)hit and Run
HamperShitter.info

Is This A...What Day Is This???

AHHH, not enough time...working suffocating me...can't...get...anything...done...that I want to do!! Sorry folks, it's been a severely packed two days for me between yesterday and today. So I've been neglecting to post, and I'm sorry to say today will not be much better...just some links and quick commentary. Hopefully I'll get to something you can sink your teeth into, this evening.

For now, enjoy this random, unnecessary banter...I mean these red hot news items:

• The infinite wisdom of Mike Tomlin -- "Believe it or not, I anticipated that at some point I would lose a game" ...You are wise beyond your young 35 years Michael...


• Line on Sunday's game = Steelers favored by 5.5 at home...BetUs.com thinks the Steelers will bounce back against the Seahawks...which is a load off my mind because I was really hoping one of the premier online betting sites would endorse the Steelers or they'd probably lose...I mean...yeah, this information serves you no purpose...I apologize...


• Hines might actually be on the field on Sunday yet. No practice, but he SAYS he might be ok to go...delightfully indefinite...great. Also notice Big Ben is really nursing that bruised foot...maybe Brian St. Pierre will give him a hug and make him feel better...


• Hey Mike Holmgren, quit feeding us bullshit. Everyone knows neither you nor your team nor the so-called "12th Man" have forgotten Super Bowl XL. Now you're coming to our house...and I can only hope we play even better that we did that day.


• Polamalu's got a cartilage tear in his rib cage. Yikes.

Alright, that's all I got for now. More later...er...when I get some free time...er at least a moment to breathe.

Drink one for me!

And Then There's That Other Thing...

Ok, so we've established that Sunday's loss was not a mere fluke but rather more the result of a Pittsburgh West team that exploited our weaknesses and just flat out beat us. But there was something else going on yesterday that's even more disconcerting...that would be injuries. Thus far, we've been lucky enough to avoid any significant injury losses, but that was not to be the case this past weekend.

I'm sure we all noticed. How could you ignore it? The main vacancy being at Strong Safety. However, we also were without Hines Ward and touchdown machine Matt Spaeth (both of which we knew of in advance), and lost "Big Snack" Casey Hampton, Casey's backup Chris Hoke, and Bryant McFadden all over the course of the game. Hopefully these injuries won't last far beyond the early part of this week. But what if they do? It certainly doesn't help to have them ailing even if they do come back.

Here's what I want to know -- why all the injuries across the league now? Is there something going on that we aren't recognizing? Is the game being played any differently? I'm pretty sure, if anything, the latest rules instituted by the NFL have made the game safer...and yet, everyone from Alex Smith to Cadillac Williams, Orlando Pace, Jake Delhomme and many many others find themselves inactive due to injury, some for the remainder of the season. Think about it...

As for OUR injured brethren, here's to a quick recovery! Get well soon boys, Seattle is waiting.

Injuries compound painful loss [Post-Gazette]

The Wide World of Web - September 19 Edition...

The internet is a great place. A veritable playground, if you will. We all know it, we all love it, we all bask in its glory. But who really wants to take the time to troll around for all the hot topics, every freakin' day? Not me, but nonetheless, I've done it anyway. And for your general amusement, hopefully, I've graciously provided the stories below for you to read (or not read, your perogative) at your own leisure. Meaningful content? No, probably not. But hey, it's something!

Read Me:

• Donovan McNabb, you can't blame everything on being black...at some point you just have to be a good QB...I might be wrong...


• Jon Kitna, Field General and Lord of Miraculous Recoveries...I'll tell you what would be really miraculous. If the Lions actually win 10 games this season like Kitna said they would...


• I'm starting to get used to the words "Brady to Moss, TOUCHDOWN! Brady to Moss, TOUCHDOWN!"...it's actually scary...


• The only point this guy makes that I'm willing to agree with is "The Ben-gals vs. Steely McBeam"...More Ben-gals here...


• Silverback cleared for play...bonus...


• I will not talk about OJ Simpson...


• New Town, Same Ol' Peezy...Fox Sports helps us trace the history of Joey Porter talking shit...

And that's all for today, hope you all enjoy it as thoroughly as I did.