#226 Off The Board, #1 In Our Hearts...

YES!

Best pick of the draft??

Best pick of the draft.

I'm officially starting the AQ Shipley fan club. If you want in, let me know. We're having a bake sale on Thursday.

Moon Tigers, FTW.

And just so we're clear on this point...

AQ Shipley isn't effing around. HUGE WIN for the Steelers.

Oh yeah, some other guys we picked up yesterday...
Keenan Lewis, CB - Oregon State
Joe Burnett, CB - Central Florida
Frank Summers, RB - UNLV [BIG TIME PICK]
Ra'Shon Harris, DT - Oregon [Look at this guy with the mohawk]
David Johnson, TE - Arkansas State [Because we needed another TE?]

Here's Tomlin commenting on all the selections...whilst sporting a solid suit.

That Mike Tomlin, what a human being.

And that closes the book on this year's draft.

If you missed them, here are Saturday and Sunday's posts.

Other than that, tell us all what you think about how things went, in the comments. Then get yourself six to eight cups of black coffee. It's Monday. I'll be here studying like a BOSS. If you need me, find somebody else. I'm MIA.

Blah.

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Sorry, No Time to Be Clever with Headlines...

Apparently the Steelers are taking a page out of my book and drafting based on outlandish names. I mean, that's the only explanation as to why they'd take Kraig Urbik, OT/OG from Wisconsin with our 1st pick of the 3rd round.

Well, ok, maybe it was because we need Offensive Linemen worse than Lindsay Lohan needs to eat a sandwich and Urbik was one of the best Guards in this year's draft. But they ARE two for two when it comes to drafting dudes with unusual names (or at least unusually spelled names).

Of course, given the list of players in this years draft, there was about an 85% chance they were going to get a guy with a weird name regardless.

Anyways, Kraig Urbik it is.

The "skinny" on Urbik, if you can really invoke that word to discuss a 6'5", 328 pound human being, is as follows...

40 Yard Dash : 5.3 seconds
Bench Press : 29.0 reps
Vertical Jump : 24.0 inches
Broad Jump : 94.0 inches
3 Cone Drill : 7.87 seconds
20 Yard Shuttle : 4.89 seconds

"When Urbik's streak of 45 consecutive starts came to an end when he injured his knee vs. Penn State in 2008, the Badgers' midseason struggles began. Without their offensive leader, Wisconsin lost five of six contests before a fully recovered Urbik, the right offensive guard, guided the team to a 3-1 record to close out the season.

Wisconsin has been known for developing quite a bit of offensive line talent for the NFL ever since former head coach Barry Alvarez arrived on campus. A member of that renowned coach's best recruiting class, Urbik was the first Badger freshman to start at offensive tackle since All-American Chris McIntosh did in 1996. Urbik would go on to start 16 games at right tackle and 34 at right guard during his career -- and that versatility has made him one of the most coveted linemen in the 2009 NFL Draft."

One of the most coveted linemen in the draft, huh? I'll take it!

Plus, I feel pretty good about any Offensive line prospect coming out of Wisconsin. So yeah, good times.

And with our 2nd pick of the 3rd round, the Steelers have taken Mike Wallace, WR from Mississippi (not even going to make the joke about him sharing a name with a well known newscaster). Not sure if we needed to take a WR here, but hey, like I've maintained throughout, do not question Kevin Colbert. And listen, I'll take anyone who can run a 4.33 40.

Here's the details on Wallace (6'0", 199 lbs)...

40 Yard Dash : 4.33 seconds
Bench Press : 14.0 reps
Vertical Jump : 40.0 inches
Broad Jump : 129.0 inches
3 Cone Drill : 6.9 seconds
20 Yard Shuttle : 4.27 seconds

"Few attributes attract NFL scouts more than pure speed. Wallace certainly has that. Despite starting three years for the Rebels, he didn't establish himself as one capable of taking advantage of his speed until he averaged 18.9 yards on 38 receptions as a junior. A year later, Wallace's speed was even more lethal, as he averaged 20.1 yards per reception and scored a career-high seven touchdowns.

Wallace is still a work in progress as a route-runner, but his ability to stretch defenses deep as an outside receiver and special teams wide on kickoff returns could land him a second-day draft selection from an NFL team looking to catch lightning in a bottle. Had an arm span of 31 3/8 inches and a hand span of 9 inches at the combine.

And there you have it.

I'd give you more, but I don't have time for Mickey Mousing around today. So you'll have to do your own homework.

Should you want to comment on either of these dudes, however, feel free to do so in the comments.

/end communication

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Put Your Hood Up...

DISCLAIMER: In case you're unfamiliar with Lil Jon's work, earmuff the little ones if you're going to hit play (and you might as well not even listen to 3:30-end)...

Well, that was a quick first round, wasn't it?

When they said the draft wasn't going to start until 4 this year, I thought everyone's Saturday night would be spent just like mine - at home, in front of the TV.

But to do it in less than four hours? Bravo, NFL. Way to do something right.

In any case, with the 32nd and final pick of the 1st round, our Steelers have taken Evander "Ziggy" Hood, Defensive Tackle from Mizzou.

First, I'd like to point out that there will be at least several blogs out there that will make a lame joke about either this guy's first name or his nickname. Not me. Screw that.

Second, I could've sworn they'd go OT here. Or at least I kind of wanted them to. I mean, you had Eben Britton sitting right there. But alas, like Brady Quinn being heterosexual, it wasn't meant to be.

Third, Hood fills what is some needed YOUNG depth along the Defensive Line. Big Snack, as much as I love the guy, isn't getting any younger. And unfortunately, neither is Chris Hoke. Nor Brett Keisel. Nor Aaron Smith. So this seems like a smart pick.

I'm not really what you'd call an expert, and I have yet to do much reading on Hood. But I have, however, heard that the Steelers plan on using him primarily as a DE, and only at DT on passing downs (thanks BTSC!).

Either way, let's be honest, Kevin Colbert has never failed us before...I doubt he'd pick today to start.

So welcome, Ziggy! You're part of the immortal Black and Gold now. Drink it in.

On a somewhat related note - Did the Browns set a record for number of times a team has traded it's pick in the 1st round? They had to have. I wonder how they feel about that in Cleveland? Too bad I don't give a shit.

They did get Alex Mack, though.

Of course they did.

If the Steelers had scouted some dude who fries the wings at Hooters the Browns probably would've picked him. Well played, Kokinis. And we'll see you on the field, Alex Mack.

Also, the Bengals, despite a major need for either a reliable parole officer or a taser to keep Chad Johnson in line, took Andre Smith. Summarily, Smith ate the card his name was written on and started to nibble the podium before he was gracefully whisked off stage. If the Bengals had a starting running back who wasn't named Cedric Benson, this pick might've really benefited them. Unfortunately, no.

And now that he's a Bungle, expect his first official business to be either exposing himself to a group of teenagers (gender of said teenagers left undefined on purpose), getting an RUI (Rollerblading Under the Influence), OR sodomizing Mike Brown. For the sake of Bengals fans everywhere, here's to hoping it's the latter of the three.

Finally, the Ravens traded up for Michael Oher. This is probably a good move for them. But since I'm too lazy to go check out their roster to confirm that, feel free to tell me I'm wrong in the comments. Either way, Oher is a great character guy. His story is a courageous one and I'm glad he's really made something of himself and is doing his adoptive family proud. Which will make it that much tougher to watch him get smoked by Silverback and/or The Wood next season.

Ziggy Hood, WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Now I'm going to to do something constructive with my life since I wasted my entire day on hockey and football.

Back to drinking, you hooligans. I'll see you for Round 2 (UPDATE: No, I won't. We traded the pick. So get shithoused and I'll see you TOMORROW).

Oh, and if you have any thoughts about this pick, feel free to deposit them where you know they belong. And by that, I mean the comments. You probably thought I was going to make a joke, didn't you? I was feeling crazy so I switched it up.

Do it.

More on Ziggy Hood:
Kiss 96.1
Scout.com
Mizzou

Highlight Reel...


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Who's Fired Up???

I love the smell of anticipation in the morning...

Pens at 3, Draft at 4. Structure your day accordingly.

Liquor stores open at Noon in most states. That gives you a full three hours of clearance. Better beer up!

Matthew Stafford. Guaranteed $41.7 million (of $72 million total). The Lions are retarded.

Also, somewhere in Northeast Ohio, Brady Quinn is in the fetal position, crying.

I'll bet that's the same look she gives him when they're having sex.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

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Corner, SECURED!

THIS JUST IN - The Steelers have signed Keiwan Ratliff - formerly of the Indianapolis Peyton Mannings.

You may remember this character from this past November 9, when he picked off Big Ben (more like just caught a Big Ben pass) in our turnover bedshitting performance against the Colts.

So, I guess this pretty much means no Corner in the early rounds on Saturday.

But does it mean O-Line?

Either way, the smart money says sit back and watch Big Time Kevin Colbert work his magic.

Any keen insight you have on this, please feel free to add it here...

PS - "Keiwan?" Good name...?

More Info:
NFL.com
Wikipedia
Colts.com

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I Need to Draft My Life Back...

As you all know, this Saturday is the annual NFL draft.

Some of you have spent months checking every site on the internets for just a whiff of who the Steelers will pick. Me, I've sat back and joked about how predicting who they'll draft is about as productive as being an Eagles fan.

Nevertheless, Tec and I were going to come up with something really cool and/or fly to do for Saturday. You know, like a special episode of the show or something.

But the fact of the matter is...

A) I'm a waste of life and thus have been zero help on that front, and
B) Even if I wanted to do something, it'd be awfully hard to lift myself out from underneath this mass of paper I'm currently buried under

Such is life as a law student/slow adult.

Either way, here's the other draft I'd like to see on Saturday...


Unfortunately for me, however, here's the other draft I probably WILL see on Saturday...


That all said, if it's some actual info on the Steelers and the draft you're seeking, I urge you to go read a serious blog. As far as I'm concerned, I'm going to watch and embrace whomsoever it is that Kevin Colbert deems worthy...

You really can't pretend to know more than the Steelers about who they should draft (at least when it comes to individual players). And if you do, please do us a favor and go talk about it somewhere else. I don't believe you anyhow.

I'm jusssstttt kidddddinnnngggg...ish.

I mean, if you feel like pontificating in the comments as to who you think the team will draft, be my guest. I may make jokes about the futility of this exercise, but that doesn't mean I'm any less interested in hearing what you all have to say. Unless your name is random asshole, that is.

Just kidding, asshole, [smiley face].

Now, I believe Domski was saying something about the Steelers drafting an O-Lineman in the first round. What was that again, man?

And finally, the random video of the day that has nothing to do with anything relevant...

That one goes out to Big Ben's cranium. It's an inside joke. One which I trust you all can figure out on your own.

Back to studying, now. FMyLife.com.

PS - Like I told Steve, I'm thinking about holding a religious draft. If you want in, let me know. Caveat = I've already called God AND Jon Kitna. Just so we're clear.

PPS - Percy Harvin and Brandon Tate puff the magic dragon. Apparently, weed is the new black.

And...I'm out!

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Ducks Fly Together...

Ra'Shon Harris (what a name), DT from Oregon = visiting the Steelers today.

Feel free to peruse his draft profiles, here and here.

And let me know if this means anything.

Who ever really knows. But hey, at least they're looking at one of the right positions.

PS - Don't even worry about that post title or video. This is the kind of thing I have to do in the offseason to keep myself interested. Besides, don't even try and tell me you don't like that movie. Be serious.

PS - How ridiculous was Lost last night?!?!

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This Was Going To Be A Good Post, And Then...

I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm all kinds of unprepared this morning. I was too busy jaggin' around with web nerd shit last night to put in any solid creative writing time.

But the good news is that at some point in the next month or two this site will start to suck less, visually. How much less, of course, remains to be seen.

Everyday I come here and I get so irritated by the template I have to work with. For Christ's sake, I can't even put YouTube videos on here without resizing them to fit. And solid black? Really? That's all you've got, Blogger? Oh, what's that? Solid white? Oh, ok, thanks. Yeah, that sounds so much better.

These are the choices I've been living with...

Plus, I'd like to also add some sort of social networking type of deal that is way less amateur than this Google Friend Connect nonsense. That's right, Google. I'm not afraid of you anymore!

This application kind of sucks. I mean, it's cool that we can all be "members" of something together and be "friends" with one another, but a comment wall? That's the best we can do, Google? How long did it take Johnny Harvard to come up with that one?

Baby steps, I suppose.

Meanwhile, I'm over it.

I can't create pages, this Followers application is horse shit, and these column widths are laughable.

I'm also eventually going to open Dreamweaver, figure out how that shit works, and get my hands dirty with a little actual web design. The sad part is, I kind of can't wait. I love figuring things out. I'll purposely don't go looking for help when I don't know how to do something, just so I can force myself to figure it out. I guess my brain likes to know stuff. Good thing someone around here does, 'cause I sure couldn't care less.

Anyways, I've got some ideas, but nothing I'd call a solid plan. So if y'all have any suggestions on things you'd like to see in the way of social networking, or really anything for that matter, by all means, let my ass know. Just let me be clear - this is not an invitation to email me about a date. Unless you're hot. And a chick. In that case, I'll make an exception.

So what else can we talk about this morning?

Don't look at me. This isn't my blog. I just hang out here.

Jussssstttttt kiddddddddinnnnnnggggg.

How about this - here is a list of questions that I've been pondering for the last day or so:

1. Will Bryant McFadden be a Steeler come March?

2. If not, how bad would that really be?

3. If Nate Washington is out, how does that affect our wide receiving corps?

4. Will this really be the year that the Steelers take an O-lineman in the 1st round?

5. How sick was Aaron Curry's 4.56 40 time?

And then finally, one quick service announcement: I know I joked about getting slaughtered in this Best Pittsburgh Sports Blog Tournament, but apparently I might actually have a shot here. So, not like it matters, but if you haven't already voted and wouldn't mind spending a few seconds over at Sean's pad, I would be very thankful.

Now, I believe I had some questions for you?