Well, At Least It's Better Than Lions-Vikes...

Ok, so we didn't get around to taping a show this weekend. Getting in at 5:30 AM two nights in a row makes it pretty tough to have the energy to do anything except sit on the couch...which, of course, is basically all we do on the show...but, hey man, it's the bye week. Everyone needs a breather every now and then, including us committed bloggers.

So instead, enjoy the master lyrical stylings of Rehdogg. And if you've got small children in the room, you probably want to give them some earmuffs first.

Enjoy the Sunday games! Go Colts!

No News, No Time, No Problem...

Alright, there still isn't anything interesting going on in Steelerland. Except for that little bowling excursion Tuesday. And seeing as how I already covered the team playing one unorthodox sport this week, today I've once again resorted to unbridled misguided creativity to entertain you. But you'll be happy to know there will be no haikus this time. Just Photoshop.

See, I got inspired on Monday. A friend of mine forwarded me one of those emails you normally laugh at half-heartedly and promptly delete. But after seeing all of the fun someone else had with Photoshop, I got an idea.

Certainly this isn't anything new and different for me (what follows that is, not having ideas). But I did a little experimenting of my own with those fun motivational posters or whatever they're supposed to be.

The culmination of this idiocy is what you will see below. And I promise, I tried to keep it Steelers relevant. Really, I did.

I sincerely hope you enjoy...


Seriously, I haven't seen a four-on-one like this since Domski's wedding.


Good thing he turned out to be famous.


So don't make them.


At least he didn't try and stop Silverback from getting his son baptized.


Unexplainable.


Sorry, I had to.


And some of us have no rhythm.


And this was only on page four of the search results.
[Photo "Credit" - FreakingNews.com]


Ladies & gentleman, Domski ate four fruit parfaits...at one time. No joke.


February 5, 2006, a day of infamy for a generation of Steelers fans.

There, how was that? Still mad about yesterday's non-post, post? What say you? Did I do good?

Nothing To See Here...

Time, as usual, is at a premium.

News, at least substantive Steelers news, is at a premium.

So I hereby give you all the day off. Feel free to not read my nonsense today. Although, you're already reading it. So I guess the joke's on you...

Stay tuned for some awesomeness tomorrow though. Try and contain your enthusiasm.

xoxoxoxoxo,

- Cotter

Meeting People Is Easy Not Happening Today...

First of all, SI gyped all us loyal customers this week and could only round up three athletes for their Pop Culture Grid.

Second of all, I just handed in an assignment for school yesterday.

Third of all, I had to get up unreasonably early this morning.

So I'm not particularly enamored with writing anything right now. Maybe I'll get to something later on. Or maybe Domski will interject with some non-sense about drinking or something. Either way, I'm just going to take it easy this morning...

It's Friday, people. Tell me something good.

PS - In case you missed any of the crack reporting this week...

• Baby Steps...BIG Baby Steps
• The Godfather [featuring Dick LeBeau]
• That's Just Troy Being Troy...

Oh Come Off It, I Know You Missed Me...

Good morning friends, 'tis I Cotter! And boy am I happy to be back. I missed you guys...excuse me, I told myself I wouldn't cry...

Well ok, maybe that's being a little dramatic. But exams sucked. A lot. Trust me. I did not enjoy any. of. them. I mean, they didn't even buy me dinner and we didn't even get to spoon afterwards...

Anyways, yes, I am back. The exams went...well, about as any exam could in this long, strange trip they call law school. So in case you were wondering, I didn't crash and burn (disclaimer: statement to be reassessed once grades are issued). Which is pretty cool...and stuff...

I'd like to thank Domski for doing an awesome job keeping things interesting around here while I was off being a severe nerd studying. The man has never blogged before in his life ladies and gents. In fact, up until like two weeks ago he didn't even know how to use a keyboard. So he's really grown in leaps and bounds. But seriously, Domski, thanks for taking care of the blog. I really appreciate it and I know everyone else out there does too (especially The Immortal Silky Johnson, who told me to tell you to call him later for a Reverse Chili Rainbow).

But you know what? After two weeks of no blogging whatsoever, I thought I would have missed a lot. And then, I remembered that it's the dreaded May to mid-July lull. We have now officially entered that time of the year when typically the biggest news includes whatever I can dig up on YouTube that's either Brady Quinn (see link below) or Bengals cheerleader related.

So in honor of this, I went back through last year's posts from this exact timeframe and graciously included the highlights below to give you a taste of what kind of editorial genius you're in for during the upcoming months. Prepare thyself for the ridiculousity/ness.

In no particular order ~

• Cotter Explores The Origins of SteelersSuck.com
• Discussing Heterosexual Things Involving Brady Quinn
• Jeff Reed, Not Italian But Looking Pretty Guido
• Channeling My Inner Anthony Smith
• Breaking Down Game Film From Domski's Wedding

Moral of today's story -- if you guys have any topics you'd like to see covered here at OFTOT over the next month and a half, please feel free to interject them at any time. I'm more than happy to acquiesce. Especially if it involves Brady Quinn...kidding.

Man, This Blogging Is Hard Work...

Yes, this image is a recycle. I'm saving the environment man. I'm going "green."

Alright, seriously. This week has really challenged my ability to make luke warm news into something interesting. Or maybe you like haikus and hot chicks?

Anyways, I have to admit that today I really don't have much either. The best I can do for you is -

(1) Nate Washington Was Signed For One More Year
(2) This Dude At Yahoo! Sports Thinks The Jaguars Own The Steelers, and
(3) The Steelers Have One UNrighteous Schedule Next Season.

I'll address these one by one:

(1) Great. I'm not going to piss myself over us resigning a solid #4 receiver who despite some untimely butterfingers is actually a decent threat. But I'm much happier to have him than Cedrick Wilson (for example). So Kudos to the Steelers on that one.

(2) OWN? I don't know if I'd go that far in describing the last four games against the jagoffs Jaguars. But I recognize this guy's right to exaggerate the recent results of this adversarial relationship. I will say for the record, however, that these last four games in which jagoffville Jacksonville has prevailed, the average margin of victory has been an earthshattering SIX points. Less than a touchdown. So perhaps he meant they owned a minority interest in the Steelers? And oh, by the way - he also thinks the Week 17 Browns vs. Steelers game is going to be a doozy, although he's too puss to make a pick...

(3) So you're upset/surprised/sad/hungry that the Patriots have the easiest schedule in football next year while the Steelers have the hardest? Don't be. They play in a division with the Bills, Dolphins and Jets. Teams that were a combined 12-36 last season (for you Math majors thats a .333 or 33% .25 or 25% [thanks to commenter for correction] combined win percentage). As for the Steelers, well, nobody said it'd be easy. If we want to make the playoffs and win a Championship, we're going to have to be at the top of our game for 20-21 weeks (however long the schedule is with post-season). But hey, the flip-side is that any team can come out and crap the bed at any time in any season. This year let's hope it's the Browns. They're already the right color anyhow (that one might take a minute).

What else? Oh yeah, the Steelers met with LB Philip Wheeler from Georgia Tech, DE/LB James Jones from Eastern Michigan and 6'5" WR Mario Urrutia from Louisville. And Ashlee Simpson, misguided/surgically modified sister to Jessica, is pregnant.

Did I miss anything?
[Note: purposefully did not include the story about Ryan Clark and his anger for trainers or Chad Johnson in any way, shape, form, etc.

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Steelers Washington Signs Tender Offer [Trib]
Steelers Rugged Schedule Rocks Round The Clock [Post-Gazette]
Best, Worst Games of '08 [Yahoo! Sports]
Steelers Washington Signs One Year Contract [Post-Gazette]
Steelers Meet With Louisville Receiver [Post-Gazette]

Three Day Weekend, Secured!

Well, I don't know about you all. But I personally am pretty damn excited that it's Friday, and because of some old dead dudes that used to lead this great nation, I have a three day weekend. Booze and bitches here I come (read: Booze and Bitches = shirley temples and a Star Trek marathon...I mean...).

However, before I depart for my weekend hiatus, I figured you might be interested in some links. Check out the week's hottest stories, told in 10 seconds or less, in words that vaguely do the real stories justice...or something:

• You don't know how long I've been waiting for someone to compile a list of the Top 7 sports-related episodes of Full House. This means it's only a matter of time before someone puts together a list of the Top 7 sports related episodes of Saved By The Bell.


• Despite the fact that the Patriots are looking like bigger pieces of shit every day, the Steelers continue to be all class.


• Steve McNair declares he can still play at a "high level." I'm pretty sure by this he means the 700 level. Where he should be sitting next season. Far from the field where his geriatric ass could get hurt. Again.


• RIP 3 Rivers.


• Breaking News: This week's weather sucked. By the way - rumor has it that Tec is considering openly declaring his man love for MAF sometime in the very near future...something to look forward to...


• My friend Bowen (the Eagles fan) is not persuaded by all this Pats propaganda.


• NonStop Steelers Poll - Should congress get involved in spygate? I'll withhold my comment on the ground that it would contain way too much profanity for your virgin ears.


• The Giants have to win the Super Bowl to get free lap dances. Too bad the Steelers probably get free handjobs just for taking the field. Ah the perks of PA....


• And finally, in case you didn't know -- Jamie Lynn Spears is a giant slut smart.

Friday. Out. Cotter, end communication.

Attention Steeler Defense...

"Looking forward to the St. Louis Rams...Steven Jackson is a very, very talented runner. We’ve got our hands full there....We better be sound in terms of what we’re doing. We better be on our Ps and Qs in terms of executing our assignments and you can’t lose the physical element of the game in doing that. We’ve got to be physical, we’ve got to turn him around, we’ve got to tackle him. If we don’t, he’ll fall forward, he’ll bounce off tackles and he’ll make us pay the way Fred [Taylor] did."
- Mike Tomlin

Morning friends. You may have noticed the lack of presence on my part yesterday. It was a long day, but nothing's in my way now. So expect a full side by side comparison later on.

Until then, enjoy this photoshop goodness...

Word.