Meeting People Is Easy...

There comes a point in the evening/early morning after which no one can be expected to be funny. Last night, that point came shortly after 1 AM, when I was just about finished with all the dirty work, but hadn't added my answers to the MPIE grid yet.

Conversely, there is also a point in the morning before which no one can be expected to be funny. And today we still haven't reached that point yet.

Plus, all photoshop and no play makes Cotter wanna cut himself...

So I guess the net message = If it's mildly humorous, witty prose you want right now, might I suggest you start a blog and write some of your own.

'Cause I got nothing.

Anyways, here's this week's panel...

1. Dan Gigler
2. tiny350z
3. Marc
4. Vern
5. Don
6. Joey Porter's Pit Bulls
7. Notgomu
8. Sean
9. Noah
10. Ben
11. Doug
12. Tecmo
13. Nate
14. El Jefe

You know what to do...

Click to enlarge...

Now, where the hell is my coffee?

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Meeting People Is Easy...

You know, I love these things. I really do. I love getting to interact with you all and other sports bloggers on a more personal level. Make your "e-cquaintances," learn more about who you are, what you're like as individuals and of course, what you'd say to Pacman Jones if given the chance. Real heavy stuff, you know? I feel quite blessed to be able to do this week in and week out. It's all lots and lots of fun. But these grids are quite possibly the most tedious exercise known to man. Seriously, I mean, I love Photoshop, but I may have to start paying someone to help me with this crap. Maybe The Dude's got some free time.

The things I do for this blog.

Anyways, this week's panel is as esteemed and knowledgeable as ever. Some new faces, some old, some real friggin' old (mostly me). And all of them probably got more sleep than I did this week.

Here they are, in order of appearance...

1. Kevin - Of Barry Melrose Rocks and Fanhouse fame. Carey Price or Martin Brodeur? No question. I probably hate Martin Brodeur more than anyone else on this earth. Carey Price. Come on, now.

2. King Ing - Sports, Crackle, Pop. I'm sorry, did you guys say something? I was busy for a minute there. Oh yeah, all you Pittsburghers out there - King's going to be in Pittsburgh in the near future and needs bar recommendations...perhaps you can help in the comments.

3. Rob Iracane - Walkoff Walk (and of course, taking care of Deadspin's light work). I'm a big fan of doing stuff like this on a regular basis. But I guess I don't need to tell you guys that, do I?

4. Hugging Harold Reynolds - Out there Hugging It Out for the people every damn day. You know, I honestly had never made this connection...I think I may be the only one.

5. Vern - You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad. If you're at work, don't even bother clicking that link. Wait 'til no one can accidentally see you reading a blog post about Sarah Palin wanting to deflower America.

6. Joey Porter's Pit Bulls - Has a message for Chad Johnson (and not the one below).

7. Dave - I linked to it the other day, but Dave is trying to parlay a Terrible Towel into Steelers season tickets. Here's how it works - he wants to trade you a Terrible Towel for your unique and interesting article of Steelers memorabilia that he can then trade for another item, and another, until he finally gets those tickets. So who's gonna get this thing going?

8. Sheena Beaston - Anybody care to take in some of the new Eminem track? Sheena's pretty much always got goodness like that. And the gift of making old Steelers names into puns.

9. Tecmo - About to get smoked in some 007 N64 style real soon. Oddjob, jagoff! Oh, and also recently critiqued Versus' new show, Sports Soup. In other news, I've asked Tec to critique the [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show. Early indicators point toward it being an Epic Fail.

10. Dug E Fresh - Taking a break from ranting for a weekend in Treasure Island, FL. Sounds pretty cool...I can't wait to have my life back. I'll read some property law for you, man. Your life > My life.

11. Me - Insert words here. Make them funny if you like.../head hits keyboard.

As usual, click below to enlarge...


Man, were those some good lookin' mugs or what?

What day is this, again?

Meeting People Is Easy...

Alright jagoffs, it's Friday. And thank God for that. But besides the sheer bliss of knowing that at approximately 5:30 PM (3:30 PM if lunch consists of two or more beers) the weekend begins, it's also time for Meeting People Is Easy. Yet again, I've overextended myself, and so we've got 13 panelists today. But that's ok, just means more people to easily "meet."

So this week's panel is as follows...

1. Larry Brown ~ Gets way better emails than Cotter.

2. Tirico Suave ~ Specifically, Harvey Bars, who offered an interesting new feature idea for Head Coach '10...

3. The Sports Hernia ~ F'ing good ass satire. I mean, this is a solid 10 right here.

4. Joey Porter's Pit Bulls ~ Dr. Pit Bulls has prescribed Cotter a case of IC Light and a flask of Whiskey for Sunday's game.

5. Dug E. Fresh ~ Next time I'm in his neck of the woods, I'm fully pilfering Steely McGnome...daddy needs a new pair of shoes.

6. The Immortal Silky Johnson ~ Probably needs no formal introduction. Still loves TO...

7. Notgomu ~ I still can't believe he got every good Steeler...except the D. In an AUTODRAFT!

8. Marc ~ About to become Cotter's next kill in the OFTOT fantasy league.

9. Matt ~ Shares Tecmo and Cotter's displacement woes (living in Manhattan).

10. Jup ~ Ahem, ahem, and I quote..."Karma is a bitch for running up the score on everybody last year when they could of put Cassel into get some experience. Now they have to throw him to the wolves. I love it. fuck em."

11. Drewsifer ~ Eagles fan, part of Cotter's hetero life mate crew.

12. Tobiathan ~ AKA Steelbiathan, Cheddarbiathan, Liveblogiathan, and Rich Rodriguez.

13. Me ~ I make it rain [photoshop] like Pac Man, bitches.

And now that we've exchanged pleasantries, I give you this week's free for all. As always, click the image to enlarge...


Alright guys, good talk. See you out there.

Meeting People Is Easy...

Good Friday all!

Time for Meeting People is Easy, ain't no two ways about it.

This week's expert panel is...
1. Sheena Beaston ~ I pretty much love the term, "Merrill Hedge"
2. Lori ~ Writes one of Cotter's favs, Hockey, Football & Stiletto Shoes
3. Christy ~ If only I'd paid attention...
4. Silky Johnson ~ Call him for percocets...
5. Neal Coolong ~ Dude is searching for a URL
6. Joey Porter's Pit Bulls ~ Continues to be the drinking king
7. Domski ~ Does not drink
8. Me ~ See "Domski"

Click to enlarge...


Stay tuned for recap of last night's game on Monday. 'Til then, turn my 20 oz., $1.20 Miller Lite drafts up!

Drinking?

Tecmo's "Special" Day...

Good morning people of the internets.

Unbeknownst to you, today is a big day. Today is the day that this man pictured here turns another year older. That's right, today is Tecmo's Birthday.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I attempted to put together a friars-club style roast of Tec. But unfortunately, of the large chunk of friends/bloggers I emailed, only a few provided any kind of sign they were alive. Accordingly, you'll find these individuals birthday wishes/stories/roasting-ish, below.

I urge the rest of you to use the comments section of this post to send any further well wishes his way. After all, he needs all the props he can get.

Here goes...

From: Joey Porter's Pitbulls

"Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies is an inspiration to Joey Porter's Pit Bulls. In fact, Joey Porter's Pit Bulls really, really like Mini Ponies, as you will ascertain in the story at the following link:
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/sports/steelers/s_471473.html"

From: Tobiathan

"Cotter, please forward my birthday congratulations to Tecmo -- Happy Birthday, Mr. Mini-pony!!!"

From: Domski

"Happy Birfday Tecmo, looking forward to beer bonging with you in NYC/Hoboken or at a Steelers game in the near future."

From: Tecmo's Sister, Sheena Beaston

"I like lists, so Happy Birthday dillweed. Here's the top 3 sporting moments in Tecmo and Sheena Beaston's brother-sister history. (these memories prove our wild ass childhood imaginations...hard.)

3. Remember that time we were playing "soccer" in the backyard. Like with a picnic table bench as the net, me in "goal" and you murdering a penalty shot with a 4-square ball all of maybe 7 feet away from me? Thanks for the broken fingers. And for the best "save" I ever made.

2. Playing football in the backyard and naming each of the trees after Steelers players of the time. Best roster member? Louis "the Pine Tree" Lipps. Or maybe Merrill "Hedge".

1. The Penguins had just won their first Stanley Cup. As a family on a relatively tight budget, pro hockey equipment we did not have. So 1 wooden hockey stick, a field hockey stick, a croquet mallet, and a whiffle ball served as our apparatii when me, you, and our other sister pretended to be the treacherous trio of Lemieux, Jagr, and Barrasso. Apparently, pops thought it was a good idea to video tape our shenanigans. And it proved worthy seeing as how youngest bro walked his face straight into a flying "puck" after a nasty slap shot by you. And that video is floating around somewhere.

Ultimately after all your antics, I still let you move into our apartment this year. And I wouldn't have it any other way. (Now help me finish typing this...my "once broken fingers" are cramping up on me.)

Happy Birthday!

And of course...

From: Cotter

"Dude, I swear - you say the word, "hard," more than anyone else in the history of the world. Also, you suck at Rock Band more than anyone else in the history of the world.

There is one thing you rule at though, besides saying "rule."

And that is...not drinking. I don't think I've ever seen anyone drink less than you. You're like a little girl. Grow a pair, Shirley Temple. This is the big leagues."

Seriously though. Tecmo's a real good dude and I'm privileged to make his acquaintance.

We've had some awesome times in the past, and I'm sure we'll have some awesome times tormenting Browns fans in the [near] future.

If you go out for your bday, buy yourself a Three Wise Men for me, man.

Cheers to many many more [birthdays AND $1.20 20 oz. drafts]!!!

Meeting People Is Easy...

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls. Step right up to see a show of epic proportions.

This week's Meeting People Is Easy is jam packed with fresh faces...

The panel is as follows:
1. Joey Porter's Pitbulls ~ Authority on Pittsburgh sports
2. Don ~ Man behind Rooney Tunes and Former Shaler Area legend
3. Tecmo ~ I tried to leave him off, but his answers were just too good
4. Random Asshole ~ Dude is super smart
5. The Starter Wife ~ Sports a severely cool foam hat
6. Domski ~ Current Acting Executive Editor (of interweb porn)

Click to enlarge...


Sorry friends, serious shit went down last night for me. This is the best I can do.

Hope it was still enjoyable enough...

UPDATE: I forgot about this when I was posting today's MPIE last night at 2:30 AM (yes, you read that correctly...). I wanted to share with you all my answer to the question - "Weirdest thing a Coach ever said to me." My answer, and believe me - I couldn't make this up even if I wanted to, was (said by my high school hockey Coach)...

"Cotter, you want to score? Get in the Fertile Triangle."

"The fertile triangle" being the area between the two hashmarks and the top of the goal crease in the offensive zone...yes yes, not THAT fertile triangle. Although that'd be scoring too, I think...see diagram below: