OFTOT's Steelers Gameday Liveblog...

Wow, if you can't get excited for this one, you must not be a Steeler fan. That or you're comatose. I'll be along shortly for this liveblog thing.

You know, we'll talk about the Steelers and stuff. Good times.

The Wood Loves The Smell Of Heinz In Winter...

He's been up in Eli's face
Campbell and McNabb were a feast
But yet one man remains
In the pesky NFC East.

So wrap up that pinky
Buckle that helmet with care
For The Wood is coming
Tony Romo, beware!

In just one more hour
It's gonna be the real deal
Now let's brand these Cowgirls
With some good ol' Pittsburgh Steel!

HERE WE GO, STEELERS! HERE WE GO!

See y'all around 4:10 for the liveblog extravaganza! In the meantime, cue this one up...

[Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show - Week 14...

You know, as the season marches on, and we get more adept at this being on camera business, it gets harder and harder to decide what makes the show and what hits the cutting room floor. Whatever made it into this week's show, we hope you enjoy!

And someone send me some Xanax. I'm nervous as hell for this game...

HERE WE GO, STEELERS!

Watch this piece again over at PSaMP.

OFTOT Week In Review - Week 14...

Alright, this is going to sound super non-heterosexual, but I admit, I used to watch The OC for a bit. Like, at least when it first came on, and wasn't full of completely ludicrous [but entertaining] plotlines like a smoking hot lesbian bartender who sort of wants to be straight, but not really. So for God knows what reason, I was thinking about that show today and it occurred to me - how ridiculous was that character, Ryan?

You'll remember, this is the dude who was more or less the "main" character, supposedly transplanted from the rough streets of Chino to the cushy mansions and fancy tea parties of Newport Beach, out in Orange County.

Nice premise, I suppose.

But honestly, I think the casting probably could have been better. I mean, just look at this dude...

Boy, does he scream mean streets or what? I mean, Christ, he almost looks more "OC" than his buddy Adam Brody. Like, this guy could easily have rung you up at Hollister recently. Or helped an old lady across the street. Dude is super fruity looking, like Matt Hasselbeck. And trust me, I know what fruity looks like...wait, what?

Anyways, I guess the whole thing was kind of ridiculous to begin with. I mean, what lawyer from Orange County would ever run into and adopt a kid from Chino in the first place? I did, however, enjoy their casting of Peter Gallaghers sick bushy ass eyebrows as the OC lawyer/father. Those things are fierce! Just look at 'em...


OH, and let me tell you one more thing - this chick here, is NOT that hot...

Ok, by celebrity terms, I guess, is what I mean. Plus, she annoys the hell out of me. So that might have something to do with it. That aside, I'd still probably make out with her.

But enough about that teeny bopper drama horseshit. Despite what this post might suggest, we DID talk about some Steelers-related topics a little bit this week, including the following...

1. Reviewing the most pressing Steelers issues in advance of last Sunday's game...

2. Celebrating a very satisfying win...

3. Picking on the Browns, Ravens, and of course, Plaxico Burress...

4. Laughing at how utterly stupid the outtake reel continues to be...

5. Politely pointing out some of Tony Romo's more "famous" performances...or is that "infamous?"

6. Declaring war on the environment...

7. Comparing notes with our upcoming opponent, the Cowboys...

8. Sending a message back to the NFL...

9. Adding a new feature, griping about upcoming finals and questioning the logic behind dragging your child around on a leash...

10. Meeting a few new friends and getting to know older ones even better...easily...yet again...

11. Spending the last few hours before the weekend laughing at pictures of the Cowgirls...

And for all you weekend rockers, this week's riffs were...
1. High & Mighty - Mos Def & Mad Skillz
2. My Name Is Mud - Primus
3. Paul Revere - Beastie Boys
4. Once In A Lifetime - Talking Heads
5. Murder Was The Case - Snoop Doggy Dogg

Bonus Selection...
Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin

Other notes include - yes, there should be a new episode of the [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show around Noon on Sunday. And yes, there should be a liveblog on Sunday afternoon for this Cowgirls game.

Until then, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Actually, you know what? Go ahead and do everything I wouldn't do. Because besides Steelers-Cryboys, the only thing I'm doing this weekend is studying Property, Intellectual Property, and Legislation/Regulation.

See ya Sunday, kids!

Pre-Happy Hour, Happy Hour...

A little Friday afternoon fun for you, at the expense of the Dallas Cowboys. Feel free to add your own captions in the comments...


The search for Demarcus Ware's contact continues to baffle Anthony Henry, Ken Hamlin and Jay Ratliff...


Pac Man's warmup routine...for "da scrip club," that is...


You know, Terrell, the way your eyes look in this light...


Hmmm, what exactly is going on here?


'Nuff said.


This is the only time you'll hear me say I'm jealous of the Jonas Brothers...


Yo, check me out, Ken Hamlin. I'm staying alive like the Bee Gees!


Too. Much. Thinking. Hurt. Adam's. Brain.

Yeah...it's that kind of afternoon. Cheers!

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Wow, that's an interesting Defensive strategy. So the Ravens are trying to create turnovers, are they? What a novel and shocking approach to the game of football. Certainly they are innovators in purveying this kind of thinking. Oh, that Rex Ryan - what a genius!

I mean, Dick LeBeau would never come up with anything like this. Rex Ryan and the Ravens are clearly a cut above. Well, at least according to Michael David Smith of the Fanhouse (among others).

That misguided logic aside, the Ravens D is looking pretty nasty, even without half of their starting secondary (or is it 3/4?). The unfortunate truth is, they're right on our tails. And, in fact, as takeaways go, they've got three more than us (20 fumble recoveries and 3 INTs to our 13 fumble recoveries and 7 INTs).

So I guess they're not so much LOOKING to take the football away as they actually HAVE BEEN taking the ball away.

Damn, I really wanted to shit on the Ravens today, not realize how hot on our tail they are. Eh, screw it. Ray Lewis is a murderer, Terrell Suggs' gums appear to be eating his teeth, Bart Scott's nickname is the weakest, and the Steelers pretty much OWN Ed Reed.

/FIXED!

Feel free to let these links take away your attention from doing actual work (not for too long, of course)...

Now, that's how you smack that ass [PSaMP]

Charles is one talented pug, and he's in the holiday spirit [Superhero.]

Marion Barber doubtful for Sunday [Dallas Morning News]

And while we're at it, Ryan Clark would welcome a shot at TO. God, I hope this happens [Dallas Morning News]

Big Ben on Romo - "I don't mean this to sound rude: He is asking for it. Dating the high profile, doing all the stuff he wants to do. That's the life he chooses to live off the football field. That's his choice and that's why. It's what he chooses to do." [Post-Gazette]

#1 current NFL feud - Hines Ward vs. Bart Scott. I'm ok with that [Yahoo! Sports]

Steelers getting healthy at the right time? I'm not sure I'm totally confident that they're all healthy, but ok [Associated Press]

Understatement of the year [Post-Gazette]

Add a Steelers belt buckle to my holiday wish list! [MJD]

"Sid The Kid's Putting on A Show" [SI.com]

Santonio Holmes gets busted for weed and gets promptly suspended by the Steelers. Sean Ellis gets busted for weed, speeding, being a dick and failing to produce a valid insurance card, and he plays the next day, while the Jets conceal the news for a solid week. Jesus [Sports Crackle Pop]

You may have seen Baby Mangino...Well, here's baby JoePa! [Deadspin]

Lastly, sweet hat, Wade Philips. I've worn so many better hats than that hat. In fact, Tec and I both wore three hats each on last week's [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show that were better than that hat...

Meeting People Is Easy...

Quick, no time for small talk. To the introductions!

This week's esteemed panel is...

1. John Woods - Still rockin' and rollin' at The Fifth Down.

2. Doug - Get Fresh Designs and Rants a plenty!

3. Jup - Dude, how was your trip? I totally forgot to ask!

4. Shawn - Holding down OFTOT's South to Southwest region.

5. tiny350z - My Hoboken buddy.

6. THE big TC - One of the only known fans of the [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show.

7. Ben - Not Steely McBeam's biggest fan.

8. Ladi Izz - My liveblog buddy.

9. Notgomu - Funny he should mention Kevin Boss...waiver wire vulture!

10. Nate - You call that chick, yet?

11. Marc - Is going to Sunday's game and I am real jealous.

12. Matt - Where Brooklyn at?

13. Silky Johnson - Still an Eagles fan.

14. Cotter's Dad - Rigging up spycameras to videotape the Pats spycameras.

15. Domski - Still molding the young minds of Delaware's children.

16. Me - One of these days, these grids are going to break me.

Yeah, you're definitely going to have to click this one to enlarge...

Don't mind me, I'll be with y'all shortly. Just gotta wake my tired ass up. Is it Friday yet? Oh wait...

And if you feel so inclined, we'd all love to hear YOUR answers in the comments. Leave them after the beep...

Changes and Such...

Alright, a couple notes here for you...

First, this whole Google Friend Connect business. You may have already noticed the little module in the left sidebar in which there is a number of weird thumbnail pictures and some links that say things like "Join" and "Beer Me." Ok, there's no "Beer Me" link, try as I might. But in case you hadn't figured it out - OFTOT is now a "social" site thanks to the internet geniuses over at Google.

What this means is that now, in addition to commenting on posts, you can become a "member" of OFTOT and make "friends" with other members. Plus, they've got that nifty wall thing that I also copped. So once you become a member you can, you know, speak your mind freely about how much you hate me and my writing, over there, rather than feeling confined to commenting on the subject matter of a given post (Vern).

I think this is pretty cool stuff, myself. But I'm also a giant nerd. Nevertheless, I urge you to become a member so we can "connect" on another level and move one step closer to becoming actual friends, like in real life. Remember what that's like?

Second, and more importantly, it's that time in my semester. The time that all students, law school or otherwise, just adore. Finals, my friends.

Today is my last day of classes and for the next two weeks, I'll be in full fledged, lock myself in a room with a shitload of coffee and other study enhancers, crouched over a book that rivals the thickness of a Tolstoy novel, but does not have any of the literary appeal, mode (after work, that is).

It shouldn't really mean a whole lot for OFTOT, other than the fact that I may seem just a tad angrier than normal, and there may be days on which I don't get a morning post up until mid morning. That said, I have no idea if that will be the case or not. I'm just giving you fair warning.

And now that we've got that out of the way, I saw something this morning that kind of made me laugh and think at the same time. It was a family with a little girl, who was tethered to her Mother by a leash. Now, I've seen this before. I think right around the early to mid 90's this was kind of a "fad" for a little bit, maybe. Seeing this, I just can't help but think - what is that teaching the kid?

I mean, obviously, as a parent you want to make sure your kid doesn't wander off to get snatched up by some crazy child molester (see R Kelly/Random Asshole) or something. But you're not really teaching them what to do. You're just restricting their movement. I'm just thinking that by teaching them to stay by you on their own, they'll learn to just do it, without the need for a leash, as if they're some wild animal or something.

Then again, I'm not a parent, nor do I plan to be anytime in the foreseeable future. I love kids, but at my ripe young-ish age, I've still got a few years of idiocy left in me before I stop spending three hours a night playing Rock Band and start spending three hours a night feeding and coddling a small lifeform. Plus, this was on the busy streets of lower Manhattan (Canal St, no less). So maybe it was necessary.

Either way, I'll bet if these things were popular when I was a kid, my parents would've been first in line for one. I think I can still hear my Mom...

"CHRISTOPHER, GET! OVER! HERE! NO! LEAVE THAT DISPLAY ALONE! Shit, we better get outta here. I can't take you anywhere..."

/storms out of store angrily pulling young Christopher firmly by his left arm

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Ah yes, the Charlie Weis approach. Well played, Phil. If it works out for you as well as it worked out for him, you might actually have your job next year. Then again, Charlie Weis was completely apologetic about his team's ineptitude. How about you?

But, I don't really care about all that. In fact, I hope the Browns do bring back Savage. That just means a few more years of the Browns sucking, and who doesn't want that? Of course, they'd probably suck either way. After all, it is Cleveland. But I'll take established suckage over potential suckage every day of the week...and by the way, that's what she said.

Now, how about that whole e-mail scandal, Phil? What do you think about that mess?

Oh, yeah? So you're expecting people to forgive you for telling an angry fan to eff off because you've also sent countless emails that do not contain such an unsavory sentiment? Sorry dude, it doesn't work like that. But by making that comment in the first place, I'm guessing you already know that.

I doubt these links would save Savage's job, but go ahead and read them anyhow...

Were there ulterior motives for making Jordan Staal Assistant Captain of the Pens? [PSaMP]

WhatIfSports' prediction for Sunday? Cowboys - 21, Steelers - 17 [WhatIfSports.com]

Big Ben and Hines on The Plaxico Burress Show [KDKA]

Pac Man Jones' practice attire yesterday - shorts on top of blue pajama pants with Homer Simpson's face all over the legs and the phrase "I'm so smart." Indeed [Associated Press]

I agree, Sean. Talking on your cell phone while "on the toilet" is not cool. That's right up there with choosing the middle urinal when there's only three to pick from [Sean's Ramblings]

By the way, if anyone is interested in doing Meeting People Is Easy this week, here are the questions below. Just email my ass with your answers if you're on board - onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com...

1. Bigger Diva - Tony Romo or Jessica Simpson?
2. Beating the Patriots was ___________.
3. Charlie Weis, Romeo Crennel or Clay Aiken?
4. Favorite song to ROCK out to
5. Plaxico Burress?

Looking forward to your potential responses!

Dear NFL..

So the "NFL" somewhat officially said yesterday that Ryan Clark's hit on Wes Welker was clean. Well, ok, specifically, NFL Ref Wrangler Mike Pereira said...

“A lot of people think it’s a foul to leave your feet...Launching is not a foul. There is nothing in the rulebook that states that at all...It is a foul to hit with your helmet against a defenseless receiver. It is a foul to throw a forearm into the neck or head area of your opponent.”

Now, I hate bitching about officiating. I've said it a million times. But I really can't ignore all the bullshit the Steelers have already endured this season. It's bad enough that James Harrison is held on probably 50% of the snaps, but we've been penalized on some pretty dubious calls for at least the last month.

So I've decided to pen an open letter to the NFL Front Office, one and all. You know, to really let them know exactly how this makes me feel. Take a read and feel free to share your own letter in the comments.

[BEGIN LETTER]

Dear NFL,
Thank you so very much for clearing Ryan Clark's name. I can't tell you how delighted we are to receive your blessing in this matter. But, you know, that does bring one question to mind - if Clark's hit was clean, then how come the Patriots got an extra 15 yards because of it?

I mean, either way, it doesn't much matter. James Harrison diffused that drive just a few plays later with his second sack and forced fumble, despite having been held for the better part of the game. But, like, well, even you yourselves just said, it wasn't a penalty.

Is this Hines Ward's fault? Just because a dude questions a fine, all of a sudden he and the rest of the team are under more scrutiny than Pac Man, ahem ahem, I mean Adam Jones?

Or maybe it's because Troy called the NFL a "pansy" league? What, like you weren't thinking it? This is football, man. They hit each other. When big dudes hit each other, sometimes they get hurt. But, you know, most of them are willing to subject themselves to it because, um, well they're getting paid millions of dollars a year. So I don't think you can really fault Troy for saying something like that in the face of all the fines you've laid out this year for otherwise legal hits.

Is this because of Steely McBeam?

I don't get it.

And I mean, honestly, could we BE getting any more penalized? It's been like there are 53 Kemoeatus out there all false starting at once, the way we've been going. If you're trying to send a message, you've been heard. Loud AND clear. But could you knock it off, already? We're in the middle of a tight divisional race right now, and we'd also love to keep a foothold on the #2 playoff seed, if at all possible. So if you would kindly remove your collective foot from our ass, that'd be awesome.

Oh, and please tell Patriot fans to shut their filthy mass-pieholes about this? Enough already from this fanbase whose team recently admitted to illegally videotaping opponents for the last few years. I think Clark himself put it best - "One of my favorite players in the league is Rodney Harrison. I really find it funny that a team he’s on is acting this way."

Sort it out.

Sincerely,

- Anthony Smith

...Just kidding, it's me, Cotter. xoxoxoxoxo!

[END LETTER]

By the way, Clark's destruction of Wes Welker's manhood has gained him the following related searches on Google...

"Ryan Clark hit" - I can only hope that someday, my destruction of Wes Welker will also gain me some such related search.

Any thoughts on any of this idiocy?

Still Wondering About Marvel Smith's Life?

Alright, so Marvel Smith hasn't played since October 5 at Jagoffville, and we've heard that he may need back surgery again this offseason.

So ummm, at what point do we just put him on IR?

I mean, I love the guy. When he's healthy, I'd prefer him over Max Starks every day of the week. But it doesn't appear that he's in very good shape, as he'll be missing his 8th straight game this coming Sunday.

What are we holding out for, January? I doubt we want a Left Tackle with a bad back protecting our franchise arm in the playoffs. But, then again, I could be wrong.

Reactions?

PS - I emailed this one to Random Asshole last night, so he's already seen it. Duder, you can ignore this, or just leave your reply in the comments. Your choice.

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Oh man, you have no idea how weird this is. I was just thinking while I was walking my pup last night, how much I hate the word, "eschew."

Why?

Well first of all, it just sounds stupid. Ess-choo. Sounds like either someone sneezing or what a cow does with it's "cud."

Coincidentally, I went to Elementary school with some chick named Charissa Chew. That sounds somewhat similar. No relevance to this post, of course.

But second of all, this is a word that people like to use in the hopes that everyone within earshot will immediately think they're smart for having used a word you haven't heard since 11th grade English class (at least in my view).

It's the most ass backwards way to say "shun" that I've ever heard. There are so many better ways to say that without using this garbage Scrabble reject. Like, how about, "shun?" Or maybe even, "stiff-arm?" Those have always worked well for me. They're easy to say, I know exactly what I'm telling someone and they know exactly what I'm saying to them. Everybody wins.

But when you use, "eschew," nobody wins. Remember that, kids.

That said, you should probably not eschew these links...

Help Big Ben and friends re-gift a fruitcake [PSaMP]

NFL and this guy from the Boston Herald defends Ryan Clark's hit on Wes Welker [Boston Herald]

The RIAA is suing a 19 year old girl who has pancreatitis, needs some cell transplant and has to be hospitalized weekly. Way to go, assholes [WTAE]

Here you go, Domski. Your favorite [The Chief's Forum]

McSickGoatee expected to play Sunday...not a minute too soon! [Trib]

Pittsburgher Bruce Gradkowski to Cleveland [Yahoo!]

Charlie Weis back for a fifth year at Notre Dame. See, Romeo, maybe there's hope for you, yet [ESPN]

Also, I'd like to say - well played, Chicago. A bitch, indeed...

We've Got That Whole Cowboy Thing Going...

MY favorite Cowboy. Check that link if you don't get the post title...

So what are we really dealing with here, with Dallas on the horizon?

The bad news is that Tony Romo's allegedly healthy, and the Cowboys Defense trails only our Steelers in the total sacks category with 40 (we have 42).

The good news is that Felix Jones, Marion Barber and NFL sack leader, Demarcus Ware (15 total) are hurt. Of course, that news isn't that good, because Barber and Ware are just "day-to-day." But both just got hurt last Thursday, so maybe that means something, maybe it doesn't.

Either way, let's size up these Cryboys...

We'll start on Defense. After all, it wins championships, as you may have heard. The Cowgirls D is giving up an average of about 22 points, 100 yards rushing and 200 yards passing per game. Compare that with our Defense, which is giving up an average of only 14 points, 71 rushing yards and 147 passing yards per game. Clearly we've got the competitive advantage. But their Defense, unfortunately, won't be facing ours. They'll be facing our Offense. The same one that's ranked 24th overall in total Offense, and yet still averages 107 rushing yards, 227 passing yards and 23 points per game. It's also the same one that's allowed 36 sacks. So I really can't definitively say how I feel about that. The Cowboys, as Domski eloquently puts it, "bring the heat." And we haven't really been blocking "the heat." Recipe for success? Who knows. Either way, I thought "the heat" was another way of referring to Gonorrhea. Am I wrong, Domski?

Now, what about Offense? With Tony Romo under center, the Dallas Douchebags (I don't even see the need to be cute about it anymore) are 7-2, averaging about 29 points and 284 yards passing per game, which includes six 300 yard passing games by Romo. Of course, some of that could be skewed by the fact that they played the Browns, Bengals, 49ers and Seachickens. But nevertheless, those are the stats. And while the Cowboys running game, in theory, could also be strong if Barber plays, the fact is, our Defense is murdering everyone. We're only giving up 71 yards rushing per game and we've already seen the likes of the Giants three-headed monster, Joseph Addai, the MJD/Fred Taylor show, LT, Portis and SAMMY MORRIS! Ok, so that last one was a joke. But "down" years or not, the rest of them are some good backs. Simply put, they have a good Offense, we have a good Defense. I like ice cream sandwiches, you like ice cream sandwiches.

So what does it all mean, then?

Frankly, I don't have a clue. I don't size up games based on numbers. Every game is a big one. And this one's no different. It certainly isn't going to be easy on us. But it may not be as difficult as some of the talking heads would have you believe.

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Thoughts from the peanut gallery?

PS - speaking of Cowboys-Steelers, check this out...

Click here for Super Bowl X in clips of 10 minutes. It's pretty awesome, actually.

Oh, and one more thing - the Steelers can clinch a playoff berth this weekend (albeit not the one that counts) with a win and a Patriots and Dolphins loss. So we've got that going for us...which is nice.

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Yeah. Seriously.

Although, I think the Browns started the season at "bad," and in recent weeks have gotten "worse." NOW, I think they're the past tense verb form of a four letter word beginning in f. Same goes for that General Manager in charge of inciting militant fans with email profanity, by the way.

Devastating injuries all over the field - CHECK!
Losing twice as many games as they've won - CHECK!
Staph-infections-r-us - CHECK!
Failing to have anyone rush for over 88 yards all season - CHECK!
Throwing too much money at questionable free agents - CHECK!
Trading a decent amount of valuable draft picks - CHECK!
Scorned by Kellen Winslow - CHECK!
Franchise receiver suddenly stricken with a case of the drops - CHECK!
Coach who manages games as well as Andy Reid - CHECK!

Need I go on?

I wonder how highly all those writers and media personalities who picked them to win the AFC North think of the Browns now?

Probably not as highly as they would of these links...

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Heinz Field. Christmas poems, dude. I love 'em [PSaMP]

Tec's Z-Harmony profile. Finally! [Zamboni Harmony]

Caption this Malkin crotch shot [Sports Crackle Pop]

I'm already tired of this Cowher to Cleveland talk [MJD]

Pac Man, excuse me, Adam, Jones to return punts for Cowboys on Sunday [Sports News Daily]

Top Five Worst 2008 Offseason Moves [4th and 26]

What is it with PA mascots and DUIs? [Associated Press]

Only #3 in brand loyalty this year? Weak [Post-Gazette]

I'm not writing anymore posts dedicated to Najeh being signed or dropped [Post-Gazette]

Moments In Greatness, Starring Tony Romo...

Ok, that win on Sunday was pretty awesome. Many things to be happy about. We found our balls on Offense (PS - I'll bet Wes Welker's still looking for his), and our Defense showed everyone why they're number one. But now we're on to a new challenge with the Cowgirls riding into Pittsburgh on Sunday.

So I'm going to focus my efforts this morning on Dallas' little princess, Tony Romo. As I'm sure I don't need to tell you, this guy's had some tough times in the limelight. From his first snap to his well publicized relationship with Nick Lachey's sloppy seconds Jessica Simpson to his most recent pinky fiasco, the cameras have loved Tony and have reveled in his periodic and often untimely failures.

Therein lies the premise of this post. Rather than respectfully call out some of his better games, of which I'm sure there have been many, I thought I'd remember some of the REAL good times. You know, the times when he's looked utterly embarrassing. Though, I must say, I don't claim to be any kind of Tony Romo historian or anything. So take all this for what you will.

Alright, now the pretty pictures...

October 23, 2006 - The time our valiant hero trotted out onto the hallowed turf of Texas Stadium, to start the 2nd half for a struggling Drew Bledsoe against the Cowboys arch nemesis Giants, and on his very first play, fans screaming his name, sculptors probably already sculpting his bust for the Hall, he throws a pick! He'd finish with three on the day (in that one half).

CHAMPIONSHIP!

December 25, 2006 - The time that bitch Carrie Underwood roughed up his game, compelling him to throw two picks and go 14/29 for 142 yards and a QB rating of 45 (yes, I still consider this a garbage stat).

CHAMPIONSHIP!

December 31, 2006 - The time he threw two picks and fumbled four times en route to a 39-31 loss to DETROIT (yes, the Lions sucked then too).

CHAMPIONSHIP!

I believe this one is called, "The Brady Quinn" look. Nothing to do with any kind of game or anything, just looks funny.

Moving on...

January 6, 2007 - The time the Cowboys were poised to beat the Seacocks on a short field goal with one minute left in the NFC Wild Card game, and all he had to do was put the ball down straight for Martin Gramatica...but it was too much pressure for him to handle. So he fumbled the shit out of it. Jerry Jones felt, in a word, "empty."

CHAMPIONSHIP!

June 25, 2007 [or sometime thereafter] - The time that God damend Diet Pepsi Max commercial debuted. Matt can tell you all about this one...or to refresh your memories...

This garbage, or the Saved by Zero commercials? Kind of like asking if you prefer getting kicked in the balls to getting punched in the face? Either way, they both suck. CHAMPIONSHIP!

December 16, 2007 - The time that bitch Jessica Simpson made him throw three picks and fumble twice en route to a 10-6 loss to the Eagles. His QB rating that day? 22.

CHAMPIONSHIP!

January 13, 2008 - The time he lost in the divisional round of the playoffs, coming in as the #1 seed but having spent the prior week off in Mexico with his main squeeze, Jessica...ESPN tells me those Cowgirls were the first No. 1 seed in the NFC to lose in that round since the NFL went to the 12-team playoff format in 1990.

CHAMPIONSHIP!

By the way, that's TO's QUARTERBACK and they lost as a team, man!


October 12, 2008 - The infamous Pinky injury. Let that be a lesson to you, kids. There is such a thing as masturbating too much.

CHAMPIONSHIP!

Right, so now you guys can all yell at me for blatantly ignoring how good Tony Romo actually is...but, you know, I already know that. I hear he's a real good golfer, too. Just not as fun to talk about, nahmeen?

And speaking of moments in greatness...

Is he smiling???

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

I'm not entirely sure I even need to add anything to that. Not only is Plax now a headline, but he's also a punchline. Well, ok, he's been a punchline. But now even more so...

Number one, what does Plaxico Burress need with a gun?

Number two, if his hamstring is so hurt, what's he doing in a club anyhow?

Number three, I still don't understand how you can go through all the shit he's gone through with the Giants and think that going out to a club with a loaded gun is a good idea.

By the way, I know this has nothing to do with the division, but I just couldn't let this one slide. I doubt Goodell and the Giants will either.

Hopefully you'll let these links slide, though...

Your weekly Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker [PSaMP]

Matt's thoughts on yesterday's game [Superhero.]

A Burress Story. Stroke of genius! [Tirico Suave]

ERIC PEGRAM JERSEY SIGHTING! [Straight Cash Homey]

Raise a glass for the 'Burgh's 250th anniversary [Post-Gazette]

Here you go, Anonymous Pats fan - Ryan Clark apologizes but says he was just doing his job [Post-Gazette]


And a roundup of Headlines in the aftermath of yesterday's drubbing...
"Pain is Steelers gain in bloody win vs. Pats" [Yahoo! Sports]

"Defense, running game shine in Steelers’ win over Pats" [Sporting News]

"Welker, Patriots feel wrath -- pain -- of Steelers football" [CBS Sports]

"Steelers dominate Patriots, 33-10" [Post-Gazette]

"Steelers blast Patriots, 33-10" [Post-Gazette]

"No Patriots Day" [SteelCityInsider]

"'Burgher joint" [Boston Globe]

You're God Damn Right!

The air was cold
The rain was falling
The defense was stout
And the offense, NOT stalling

There were some scares early on
My stomach was in tears
But that wasn't the game
So much as it was the beers

In the end we prevailed
We told those dudes what was up
And by the end of the game
No beer remained in my cup

I don't think there are enough words in the world to express how absolutely awesome it was to watch the Steelers DOMINATE the Patriots the way they did yesterday. 33-10, but it could easily have been 33-3 had it not been for Big Ben's unsightly interception on the 1st drive of the game.

After last season's debacle, which effectively marked our downward spiral, I can't tell you how encouraging it was/is to see the Steelers assert themselves on both sides of the ball. And hell, Bruce Arians even called a pretty good game! Someone better check to see if hell froze over and/or if cats and dogs are living together!

So let's do the usual Monday morning routine, and review this week's "Things That Were Awesome," "Things That Were Not Awesome," and "Things That Made Me Want To Punch Myself."

THINGS THAT WERE AWESOME
1. DOMINATING THE PATRIOTS and scoring 30 unanswered points in the process!
2. Master Fly W. Large - 16 rushes for 87 yards, at 80% health


3. Silverback - 2 sacks, 2 forced fumbles, 10 total tackles, 7 solo


4. The Law - 5 total tackles, 3 solo, 1 awesome INT

5. Patriots 3rd Down efficiency = 1/13
6. Reservoir's waffle fries with veggie chili and cheese
7. Seeing New England's stands emptying with 5 minutes left in the game
8. Santonio's punt return for 29 yards
9. Ryan Clark's hit on Wes Welker - penalty or not, this was awesome...

10. Ben only getting sacked once

THINGS THAT WERE NOT AWESOME
1. Jeff Reed missing a 40 yarder in the 4th
2. Binladichick. He will always occupy a spot here

3. 8 penalties for 88 yards
4. Randy Moss' hands - not awesome for New England, but totally awesome for us


5. Sansmokio's hands - touchdown catch notwithstanding


THINGS THAT MADE ME WANT TO PUNCH MYSELF
1. Carey Davis fumbling the opening kickoff
2. Big Ben's 1st Quarter pick
3. Tec and I walking a good mile to the bar in cold wind and rain
4. 3rd Quarter pass interference call on Face Me Ike
5. 4th Quarter unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on Face Me Ike

Sadly, the Ravens played the Bengals yesterday. So it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that they were going to advance themselves in the standings. They're now 8-4, while we're 9-3. Certainly not a comfortable division lead by any means, but I can't really be worried about that today. What happened yesterday, that was just too awesome!

So, what do you guys think? Statement game? Big win? Did you also enjoy watching Bill Belichick crying on the sidelines?


And just because, here are some other great shots...

Chad Johnson and Michael Flatley've got nothin' on Big Ben...


Aww, so sad...


Silverback, eh? He looks more like a Great White in this one...


There's blood in the water...


That's 65 collective years sacking your ass, Matt Cassel!