AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Good afternoon everyone, and welcome to the St. Patrick's Day edition of the headline of the day. Today, there could not possibly be a more fitting headline than this.

So, I guess that's it. All the speculation is true. And look at that, they announced it totally spontaneously on St. Patty's day. There's no way that could have been part of any kind of calculated plan on anyone's part. At all.

By the way, I don't really think the AP could've put it any better. In fact, I'll bet Dan Rooney isn't the only thing or person that Obama has "tapped" recently...

Barack Obama, President of Hittin' Dat Ass...

Anyways, I'm not going to make a joke out of this, because frankly it's a great honor and I'm proud to say that as a Steeler fan, the owner of my team is also an Ambassador to a whole entire country! And let's be honest, there really are few people in the world like Dan Rooney. We've talked about it, waxed philosophical about it, expressed our undying love for it, but the way Mr. Rooney runs the Steelers and lives his life provides a good model for anyone to admire (Ignore: gambling ties).

Simply put - in my completely, 100% biased opinion, our fine new President couldn't have picked a better man for the job. Congratulations, Mr. Rooney! May you be as successful in this endeavor as you have been over the last thirty plus years with the Steelers!

Here's the full text of the White House Press Release. You know, if that's how you get your kicks.

Also gives me an excuse to post this...


But since I do have that ever-present itch to make jokes, and because it's St. Patty's day, I'm going to switch gears here. To something even closer to home for me, literally and figuratively...

This man right here is my Dad. Who I'm sure will be thrilled to see his picture on the internets. He's the one who's Irish in our family. Irish and Polish, actually. Which pretty much means that as his progeny, I'm poised for world domination. Plus, you can't really dispute the fact that his goatee far surpasses any goatee in the history of the universe. Bryant McFadden, eat your heart out.

Also, that woman there is my Mom. Here's what we know about her - She's human. Ok, actually we THINK she's human. No one has ever really presented any hard evidence. So it's all really speculation at this point. But based on the fact that she has to use a phone to call me about my unpaid credit card bills, we'll assume she's at least partly human.

But back to my Dad for a second. This guy is the world's foremost connoisseur of Shepherd's Pie. So in honor of him, and because obviously I couldn't be home to celebrate with my family, tonight I'm going to attempt to make some of that heavenly Shepherd's Pie goodness myself. Of course, my version will feature that fake ass soy ground meat, due to my continued vegetarianism. But I figure with the requisite amount of beer and Jameson I won't really notice any difference...

Coincidentally, there's nothing Jameson can't fix. And that includes ball Cancer.

Anyways, in summary, what I'm saying here is have yourselves a Happy St. Patrick's day. Drink lots of Guinness, sing lots of drunken songs, try your hand at the bagpipes, wear a skirt, and/or just generally hang out with your wang out...

Once I get this Software Development Agreement done, that's exactly what I plan on doing.

Go Ireland!

Links, HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

PSaMP celebrates two long years!!! Congratulations, Tecmo! [PSaMP]

Fernando Bryant re-signs. Ok...? [ESPN]

Steelers to play basketball for charity. For the record, I'd post up Max Starks hard... [Post-Gazette]

Carbolic Smoke Ball = all over this Rooney thing [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

We just need Deshea's balls to last one more year [BTSC]

Many Giants are practicing right now. Plaxico Burress is not. Feel free to read into that all you want [Associated Press]

Could Jay Cutler end up a Bear? [Rumors and Rants]

Not so fast on those Julius Peppers to the Patriots rumors. Thank God. It'll probably still be true, though. Whatev [Associated Press]

Malkin - Game on! [Post-Gazette]

Pedro Alvarez news and stuff [WHYGAVS]

Nothing about Lenny Dykstra really surprises me. But what does this say about his buddy Jim Cramer? [Deadspin]

Check it out, while the rest of us eat pasta for dinner every night, the Yankees have constructed the Barbie Dream House of stadiums. Vomit [Sports Crackle Pop]

Man shoots neighbor because he thought she was a monkey. To be fair, though, she probably shouldn't have been picking fruit out of his tree...that's what she said (h/t Noah!) [MSNBC]

Postcard arrives in Ohio 47 years late. Do I even need to make the joke? [Associated Press]

2 questions - 1) Have they been vaccinated for Rabies? and 2) Will there be hard drugs involved? [9-to-Fried]

Amazing find by the FAIL Blog. Emphasis on AMAZING [FAIL Blog]

Jenna Jameson gave birth to twins yesterday. No joke I could make here would be safe for work, so I'm not even going to make one [The Superficial]

And last but FAR from least, Mikey and Big Bob dropped this Filet of Fish remix this morning. The only problem I find here is that they didn't enlist the additional services of Gunpowder Jones. PS - video to follow soon [Somewhere]

Irishman of the day = Matt Jones...

No idea if he's really Irish or not. I just assume everyone with red hair has at least a slight affinity for corned beef and cabbage. PS - This one is for Vern.

Irish movie of the day = Boondock Saints (PS - Unsavory language/guns)

What a film.

Classic YouTube clip of the day = The Leprechaun in Alabama...

The "amateur sketch" is the G.O.A.T.

I'll just be over here losing my mind over this contract.

Feel free to interrupt. And cheers to St. Patty's Day!

/cue Domski's Irish jokes...how predictable

Meeting People Is Easy...

Best thing about that Penn State-USC Rose Bowl yesterday? The Blue Band's Queen medley of Bohemian Rhapsody, Bicycle Race, and probably some other awesome tunes that I didn't get to hear because ABC went to commercial. Otherwise, I'll be forgetting the rest of that abomination by the end of the day. Screw you, Pac-10.

Anyways, welcome to 2009!

New Year, New Panel.

In no particular order, accompanied by audio of their "most played song" of 2008, they are...

1. Ladi Izz ~

2. Vern ~ Here you go...click on OMG

3. Sean ~

4. Shawn K ~

5. Lori ~ I cannot be relied upon to pick one of these. Choose your own adventure. Unless Lori has recommendations?

6. Doug ~

7. Noah ~ I don't wanna pick the wrong version here either. But you can check it out, here.

8. Don ~

9. Marc ~

10. The Immortal Silky Johnson ~
PS - had to go with a live version because Universal is super douchey and won't let me embed any of their artists' music. Weak. Also, Silky, your resolution is unrealistic. But I applaud the effort.

11. My Dad ~ YouTube has no answer for this one. I guess y'all will just have to download it to check it out...

12. Me ...
#1 =
#2 =
[I recommend not listening to #2 at work, or if you have any dangerous objects nearby, or around small children...and not because of the lyrics]

As always, click to enlarge...

And if you haven't perused OFTOT's Top Photoshops of 2008, I strongly urge you to check that shit out this morning.

I'm at work.

Send sedatives. Or Xanax. Either one works.

Give Me Snacks or Give Me Death!

Dude, I would've kicked my own ass for saying this six years ago, but I love being at my parents house.

Why, you ask?

Because my Dad is the original snack KING (in addition to being the original Dude). This man snacks more than anyone else on the face of God's green earth. He barely eats real meals, but he'll walk around all God damned afternoon with a bowl full of pretzels or lightly salted Herr's, housing them like Romeo Crennell.

This is perfect for me, because I'm the same way.

So when I went to the cabinet last night, I remembered that being here is like being in an alternate snack universe, where every snack you could ever want is yours for the taking. It's like paradise for snack lovers. Cookies. Chocolate. Pretzels. Chips. Dorito's. Popcorn. Crackers. Party mix. We've got all the major snack groups covered here.

Kudos to my Mom for securing all these epicurean delights. Hey Mom, have I ever told you that I love you?

...and your snack food selection?

Well I do.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HANUKKAH, YOU ANIMALS (that's y'all...not my folks)!!

Meeting People Is Easy...

Quick, no time for small talk. To the introductions!

This week's esteemed panel is...

1. John Woods - Still rockin' and rollin' at The Fifth Down.

2. Doug - Get Fresh Designs and Rants a plenty!

3. Jup - Dude, how was your trip? I totally forgot to ask!

4. Shawn - Holding down OFTOT's South to Southwest region.

5. tiny350z - My Hoboken buddy.

6. THE big TC - One of the only known fans of the [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show.

7. Ben - Not Steely McBeam's biggest fan.

8. Ladi Izz - My liveblog buddy.

9. Notgomu - Funny he should mention Kevin Boss...waiver wire vulture!

10. Nate - You call that chick, yet?

11. Marc - Is going to Sunday's game and I am real jealous.

12. Matt - Where Brooklyn at?

13. Silky Johnson - Still an Eagles fan.

14. Cotter's Dad - Rigging up spycameras to videotape the Pats spycameras.

15. Domski - Still molding the young minds of Delaware's children.

16. Me - One of these days, these grids are going to break me.

Yeah, you're definitely going to have to click this one to enlarge...

Don't mind me, I'll be with y'all shortly. Just gotta wake my tired ass up. Is it Friday yet? Oh wait...

And if you feel so inclined, we'd all love to hear YOUR answers in the comments. Leave them after the beep...

Meeting People Is Easy...

Ok, so at one point these things were just four or five people. Then they grew to six or seven as my Photoshop prowess gained steam. Now it's just starting to get disgusting. 14 panelists this week, including some you just might know...like, maybe.

They are...

1. Rob Iracane - Deadspin's comment ombudsman and brains behind Walkoff Walk. Flagging bush league commenters for the greater good.

2. Jason McIntyre - The Big Lead's head editorial genius and shark enthusiast.

3. Fun Sheriff - Of Lion In Oil fame. Shhhh, it's not a sports blog...

4. Cecilio's Scribe - 1/3 of The Legend of Cecilio Guante...none too pleased with Toronto either.

5. THE Jim - Sportsocracy n'at.

6. Mike Frazer - Currently, The Steel Tradition. Formerly, Steelers blog pioneer at Steelerwatch.

7. Tecmo - The yin to our pregame show extravaganza's yang. I don't believe he needs much introduction 'round here.

8. Cotter's Dad - Comprises 75% of Coors Brewing Company's annual net revenue.

9. Nate - All I'm going to say is Nate introduced himself to Tecmo and I by offering a conspiracy theory involving Tom Brady. Resist the urge, Tobiathan...

10. Christy - Because this panel need's a woman's touch...or something.

11. Random Asshole - He's instructed me to tell you he's now infused with more randomness than ever. No word on whether the asshole quotient has increased proportionately.

12. The Immortal Silky Johnson - This has really been his week to shine, what with the Steelers heading to Philly this weekend.

13. Domski - Did I ever tell you guys about the time Domski ate four McDonald's fruit parfaits in one sitting? Thought so. Never gets old.

14. Me - Nerd Alert!

So without further ado, click below to enlarge...


And yeah, I'd love to sit here and make jokes all night. But it's 1 AM, I've spent the last four hours Photoshopping, and only drank one beer. I'll have to make it up to you in the comments.

See you on the internets, you animals.

Meeting People Is Easy...

Absolute insanity this week.

Since last week's questions were too good to pass up, and I was too drunk busy last Thursday night to put together an MPIE, this week's edition uses last week's questions. Wait, did that make any...uh...sense...carry the two...hmmm...

Anyways, your panel this week is:
Marc ~ Kip from Napoleon Dynamite (well, his avatar is)
Cotter's Dad ~ The original Dude (as in THE Dude)
The Immortal Silky Johnson ~ I think he was born with a full beard
Cotter ~ Does not like tourists.
The Chief ~ Does not believe in text messaging
Tecmo ~ Rock Band legend (seriously, this man is unmatched)

Click to enlarge...


Perhaps I'll add something witty when my eyelids are no longer descending on the rest of my face. 'Til then, I hope this suffices...

Ok, good talk, see you out there.