This Would've Been Better With Assless Chaps...

Quoth Greg Warren: "We got Deshea Townsend in there using a nail gun like he's in a western or something."

So, I figured this needed a photoshop.

And now, thanks to this post title, I'll forever be letting people down on Google.

Double WIN!

Check back tonight (or tomorrow) for something even more bad ass (hopefully).

Also...

It's now or never.

GO PENS!

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Bosom Buddies?

Kraig Urbik: "...Me and 'Ship' go over our plays over and over again, one or two hours every night."

h/t to BTSC and specifically DrinkYourMilkshake for the inspiration!

Has it really come to this, ladies and gents?

Yes, it has.

Get over it.

Alternate version, if that's your thing...


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Headline of the Day...

Hot Off The Presses: Brett Keisel loves his job.

Good to know that the train of relevant Steelers news keeps on rollin'.

Yeah, I got nothing...

So, photoshop, woooooooooooo!

Abbreviated post, abbreviated link dump...

THE definitive 2009 Pens playoff tribute video [PSaMP]

Seriously, who cares if Silverback goes to the White House or not? Let's just move past it... [Grumpy Old Dog]

Because I really care what Jon Stewart thinks about James Harrison not meeting Obama... [Comedy Central]

Josh Cribbs not feeling the love from Cleveland... [Plain Dealer]

Carson Palmer is giving Tom Brady advice [Sporting News]

But yet, he's also got some choice words for Chad Johnson [ESPN]

Asian Pete Rose...hahahahahaha [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

Pay careful attention to the pic at the end...what a study! [Cheese People]

Shero's visualizing a win...



Go Pens.

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Willie [Feces-Conduit] Signs...

See post title.

I wasn't going to write about this, because frankly, I really don't care.

But then I did.

These are the types of things that happen in the offseason.

On the bright side, I also spent way too much time on these two photoshops...




There goes an hour of my life that I'll never have back.

These better make you laugh. Or else my life is a sham.

That's all I got.

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

This Colon Refuses To Be Cleansed...

Yep, you guessed it - like it or not, the Steelers have tendered an offer to everyone's favorite Colon, Willie.

And that's pretty much all there is to say about that.

I was really just excited because this gives me an excuse to post that Photoshop again.

Top 10 OFTOT Photoshop of all time?

I say yes.

Oh yeah, Sean McHugh and Anthony Madison also got offers.

Anthony Smith did not.

Burn!

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

If You Photoshop It, They Will Come..

Hmmm...So here's the situation - your team's facing a team it's already faced and beaten months before. There are some injuries to worry about, but largely the game will hinge on the team's Offense (or lack thereof...). What's a self-respecting blogger to write about, then?

Well, I don't know. Why don't you go ask a self-respecting blogger?

Because this blogger right here has decided to put together a few photoshops he finds to be rather entertaining. That and nothing more. Would you like to see them?

Sweet.

No guac, let's rock...


Unexplainable. There are no words.

But for the record, this is the original...

It's sickening how much better I look in a bikini than Domski. I got that shit, no contest. Hawaiian Tropic style.

Moving right along...

Anchorman was set in San Diego, these guys are from San Diego...you do the math. Left to right there, you've got Gates, Rivers, Tomlinson and good ol' Norv.

What else?

Steely McUltimateWarrior vs. The San Diego Chicken. This shit's for all the marbles.

And finally...

So I asked Domski, the veritable expert of 20 something dudes on Harry Potter, if Norv Turner were a Harry Potter character, which would he be? His answer was some dude named Dumbledore. Not having read any of the books, I couldn't tell you who that is, but that's Norv as him above.

I'd love to offer y'all something better this morning, but what do you want? There's exactly shit for news. Honestly, give me ideas for photoshops in the comments and I'll do that. I don't even care. Whatevs.

PS - Wanna hear something depressing? Check out the first line of this Pittsburgh AP story - "The Pittsburgh Steelers are committing the most turnovers of any team left in the NFL playoffs, are getting sacked more often and scoring the fewest points."

PPS - Wanna hear something even more depressing? Check this Pittsburgh AP story out...

Awesome. Swollen head. Good times. And again with the motorcycle pot shots? Jesus.

Trib's got their shit together...

No, they don't. You couldn't have come up with a better caption? This one is bush league.

So guys, we've got a game in a few days. What's up with the Steelers lives? Shit, what's up with your lives? You guys got anything you'd like to talk about? Help me out, here.

Top OFTOT Photoshops - December 2008...

And finally, December. Thank God, because my fingers are tired of pounding on these keys. If you think reviewing a whole years worth of OFTOT photoshops and writing about them, recapping month-by-month, is easy, you're effing WRONG! You'd be surprised at how long it took. Mostly the writing part. Picking my favs wasn't terribly difficult.

Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed the last 12 months of OFTOT as much as I have. I know I've mentioned it from time-to-time this season, but I very much appreciate all your support and I feel truly blessed to have y'all as my Steelers-loving crew. Being separated from your Steeler fan friends by geography can be tough, but through OFTOT I've found a way to make it work. Hopefully it's had a similarly positive impact on y'all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna go lift some weights, watch a porn, and start a fight. Hey, gotta relocate my balls somehow, right?

Here is the culmination, as they say, of the Top OFTOT Photoshops of 2008 - the month of December.

FUBU - For U, Ben...U?

It's tough to really call this "one of the best." I mean, I just did it like yesterday. But I think it was a long time coming. The only problem I have with this is that Ben's head is on a kids body. And kids are, well, small, while Ben is, well, big. So it kind of looks jacked up. But quite honestly, that probably just makes it more funny. We should definitely buy more FUBU sweats for Ben. It's like I always say, you can never have enough fresh FUBU gear.

Tony O'Donnell

You know, 'cause when we played the Cowboys, Mr. December, Tony Romo threw a whole bunch of picks. Including one to Deshea that cost him the game, during the waning minutes, much like Neil O'Donnell did in Super Bowl XXX against Big D. By the way, you may have missed it, because it happened days after this was posted, but apparently I'm "the reason no one likes Steeler fans."

Now, there's some sound logic. Ok...

A. Last time I checked, not everyone disliked Steeler fans, and
B. I seriously doubt I, as a lowly Steelers blogger, could ever have such a profound impact on Steeler Nation as to be called "the reason why no one likes Steeler fans"

Nice try, though. Next time, read the post before you comment. And learn how to spell, "miscue." There's an "e" on the end, there.

2008 AFC North Division Champs!

Ok, so this photoshop originally appeared well earlier than the day we beat the Ravens for the division. But it lent itself much better to this cause than whatever the hell I used it for the first time around.

And just for good measure...

The Thinker

Two weeks ago, Ben threw two picks and fumbled four times. That, to me, sounded like time for him to do some serious thinking. Look at how deep in thought he is, there. You think he's trying to decide what color FUBU sweats to buy as a guilt purchase? Or maybe whether or not he should've shared a joint with Sansmokio before the game? Yeah, he's probably just picturing Tomlin naked. I know I would be...wait, what?

Are You There, God? It's Me, Benjamin.

I can see Ben in my head now. Sitting next to his bed with his hands folded, placed gingerly on top of the bed spread. Unfortunately, while I can see that, I can't even begin to see how this was at all relevant to yesterday's post. Doesn't really matter, how can you not laugh at that? Finding pictures of athletes when they were young is pretty funny by itself. Pasting their young heads onto the cover of a Judy Blume classic, to me, borders on hilarity. Of course, I feel the same way about "that's what she said" jokes. So I can't really be relied upon to judge what is/is not borderline hilarious. Which reminds me, how did I get through a whole year in review without saying "that's what she said," once?

Not important, this will fix that...


Done!

Now, if you feel so inclined, let me know if any of these particularly struck your fancy as well...

Here's the rundown of the 11 other months of OFTOT Top Photoshops...
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November

Feel free to do the same with all. This shit took me a long time to do. So your input is a highly valued commodity.

Top OFTOT Photoshops - November 2008...

November, like October, was chock full of winners. Again, I had a hard time picking my "favs" while trying to confine it to just five (in case you hadn't noticed, I've been picking five for each month). But even though I had to leave a few solid works of art idiocy out, I'm sure you'll remember most of them anyhow. After all, November was like, last month. If you don't remember, you're either me or you've killed to many brain cells (which is also me).

Anyways, do enjoy these five that I deemed the "best photoshops" of November, 2008.

Marvel Smith Kong

I meant this to be Marvel Smith looking like King Kong, terrorizing opponents at Heinz Field. I guess it turned out that way, though in hindsight, I'm not sure that intention was clearly evident. Oh well, either way, I figure it's pretty visually appealing. And black and white just makes it more badass. I love black and white photograhpy. God, I'm a huge nerd. I'll knock it off...

A Heart Of Black And Gold

This bad boy accompanied Big Snack Silverback's 10 reasons to love the Steelers, which if you haven't read it, is a solid read. I think we all have one of these beating in our chests right now, wouldn't you say? I love the Steelers, man...

The Black And Gold House

Heart of Black and Gold, now House of Black and Gold. But not just any house, of course. The former White House! I threw this together back in November when Barack Obama, President-Elect of hitting that ass, won the election after the Steelers murdered the 'Skins in DC the night before. So I figured, we scratched his back, he should scratch ours, and offered this as one of the ways he could repay us for our gratuitous beatdown of Jason Campbell and friends. No word on whether he's made any firm plans to remodel the current White House, but if he ever does, here's the blueprint.

Jeff Reed - Straight Cash, Homey

This would've been a tad more appropriate had Jeff fulfilled Tec and my prediction that he'd be flawless during the regular season. But nevertheless, I think it's worthy. Why a dollar bill with Jeff Reed's head on it? Well, if you hadn't guessed - because he's money in the bank...at least on most field goals. If only we could say the same for Mitch Berger and his punts...

Steely McDevil

No explanation necessary. Number one in mascot DUIs and Number one in our hearts, THE Steely McDevil!

November, out! Which ones did you like the most?

And once you've answered that, feel free to review the rest of OFTOTs "Best Photoshops" of 2008...
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October

Top OFTOT Photoshops - October 2008...

Whew, where was I? Oh right, October. Well, the photoshops kept rollin' right along this month, picking up where September left off, temptingly. I'm sure there were a bunch more that could've made the cut. So feel free to peruse those at your leisure.

But these were the ones I selected as the "best photoshops" of October, 2008...

Queen Ocho Cinco

Queen's City, meet your true Queen. Really, the only reason I did this was because Cincy is known as the Queen's City. I'm not sure where that came from, since I'm pretty sure Ohio wasn't a state when England was still violating our collective assholes regularly. But hey, maybe it was founded by some loyalists who moved West to escape those idiots who wanted to be independent of the British Crown. Sounds sensible enough. Who wants to be independent anyway? Totally lost control of this post already and we're not even on the second photoshop...ugh...

Captain Jack Sparrow Del Rio

Know why I fear Jack Del Rio? Dude has two last names. That shit is badass. I'm pretty sure in Spanish, if the eight years I took of it between High School and College serve me correctly, it means "from the river." Good thing for 'ol Jackie boy that most American's don't know Spanish or care enough to look it up. Because then he might look significantly more puss. Well, ok, I don't think it's possible for JDR to look more puss, but it sure wouldn't help his fear factor.

The Law

I'm sure y'all are no stranger to this one. As Timmons' first name is Lawrence, at some point, someone suggested the nickname, "The Law." I thought that was a pretty clever way to go. So I went with it and made the natural connection and photoshopped his head onto Robocop.

Ain't That A Kick In The Nuts

Hey, remember the time K2 was hospitalized for an "undisclosed injury" and some were speculating that his nuts had swelled to about the natural size of Derek Anderson's balls? That was a fun one. Too bad it turned out to be Staph. The team's like, sixth case of the shit in like a two year span or something. Consequently, Domski has begun making plans to set up the Browns Staphinfectionblog. Should be entertaining. Maybe we should put money on which Brown gets Staph next? I'm taking Phil Dawson.

Sansmokio The Bear

Poor San Antonio. All the guy wanted to do was enjoy a few blunts with his boys while rolling around Pittsburgh after practice. I mean, is that such a crime? Well, yeah, actually it is. And it's one he's gonna have to go to court for in February. That blows. Hey Santonio, next time I recommend you enjoy your herb while safe within the confines of your no doubt palacial estate. Maybe invite some ladies. Make it a party. Nahmeen? Either way, at some point I need to see about making that shovel into a bong. That'd be solid.

Y'all callin' any winners in here?

Oh, and because I still can't stop pissing myself when I watch it, here's Rehdogg's video once again. You'll remember, this got posted during the bye week instead of the show, since we didn't really get around to taping. You'll also remember that it contains some choice language that may not be suitable for your youngsters...or Domski's virgin ears. Earmuff 'em and laugh your head off at the solid rhymes and sick dance moves...


Show some love for January-September as well...
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September

Top OFTOT Photoshops - September 2008...

See, here's where things start to get real tricky. During the offseason, it was pretty acceptable for me to post but one thing a day. But once the regular season started, it was three a day, often with multiple photoshops just in one post. So I had to get significantly more discriminating in my selection process here.

Hopefully I did alright, nonetheless.

Here are the "best photoshops" of September 2008...

Shaun Rogers, The Clown

It's not just a clever name. Although, in hindsight, it might have been more funny to put Shaun Rogers' head on Patrick Swayze's body in a Dirty Dancing-esque setting. You know, 'cause he calls himself, "Big Baby." Nobody puts Big Baby in a corner? Eh, I think there may be a few Centers and Left Guards that might agreee to disagree. Ah, Hell. You know what? This photoshop sucks. I don't even know how it made the list.

Kiss The Cook

The Labor Day Grillmaster himself, Mikey T. I'll bet he grills steaks like he grills the refs on gameday. Well done! Yeah, I pretty much only put this one in here because it looks seamless. Or at least I think it does.

Let Me Clip, Dirty Wings

If only it had gone down like this in real life. Oh well, as they say, shit happens. At least I got to make a reference to a solid Nirvana classic. Score! And if you're not sure what I'm talking about, here you go...

It's Always Sunny in Philthadelphia

Eh, we're all wrong sometimes. Perhaps it wasn't sunny for the Steelers in Killadelphia back in September, but it sure was sunny for this photoshop. One of my favs for sure. A solid show, too. When do you suppose someone's going to make "It's Always Cold In Pittsburgh?"

The Wood

The man who graces the pages...err, page...of OFTOT in advance of every gameday. Badass linebacker, badass photoshop. I'm not sure where the club came from, but does it really matter? You mess with The Wood, you get...splinters? I don't know, just marvel at his badassedness or something.

Your votes, please?

And don't forget about January-August...
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August

Top OFTOT Photoshops - August 2008...

Oh, August. Hot and muggy. The nebulous space between Summer semester and Fall semester. The end of the summer. Preseason football. Hurricanes and other such natural disasters. The media hyping the Browns to win the AFC North. It's basically just a series of underwhelming experiences. That last one is the real kicker.

But August wasn't underwhelming for photoshops at OFTOT! In August, we rolled through the preseason, thanks to the following "best photoshops"...

Mike Tomlin-Lumbergh

Hey Michael, whaaaatttsss happeninggggggg? Yeeeeeeah, I'm gonna have to ask you to go ahead and come in on Saturday. Oh, and also, on Sunday. Thanks.

Cincy Cowher

Found among the other relatively amateur photoshops in this post about where Cowher might end up, should he coach in 2009. At the time, I really believed Cowher WOULDN'T coach in '09. And while I still do, maybe it's time to revisit this post...

Jeff Reed Is A Golden God

Am I wrong?

Dennis. Dixon. aka Cyclops

Seriously, that visor makes him look like he could shoot laser beams right out of his eyes like Scott Summers. Who else was a comic book nerd? Come on, own it!

The Ben Signal

You know the Bat Signal? This is 1500 times more awesome. If you've stuck with OFTOT for any significant period of time, you'll know that this is the call for the gameday liveblog. And not that it much matters, but I aim to keep it that way.
Not pictured: Any of the OFTOT 2008 Preview. Feel free to check that out too. It's a pretty solid read.

How do you feel about these guys?

Also check out January through July...
January
February
March
April
May
June
July

Top OFTOT Photoshops - July 2008...

Here's where things started to pick up. After going MONTHS without meaningful Steelers football (draft notwithstanding), we finally got to training camp. Well, at the end of July we did. But I guess the anticipation leading up to it was exciting as well. So exciting that it led to the following "best photoshops" of July 2008...

The Anklebreaker

This guy didn't get a lot of play, what with Master Fly W. Large hanging around. But I think he was definitely my favorite "Face of Willie Parker."

This Schedule Makes Me Want to Cry

I threw this together in like five minutes. But it still makes me laugh. Stock image + Steelers jersey + Terrible Towel = success! Alright, maybe not, but whatevs.

The Blame Game

Some of you may recognize this asshole's face. This is Buzz Bissinger. Of course, it's just his head. I did the rest. But this guy was the dude who screamed up and down on HBO Sports about how sports blogs pissed "the shit out of him," and other such nonsensical rantings. He has apparently since retracted some of his angry and seriously inaccurate observations, but I still think he's a dickbag. Sorry, Buzz. Douchebaggery is an unforgivable sin.

??????

Is this the gay Steelers blog?

What Time Is It?

Time for this ridiculousness, of course. All I remember about this one was that I did it for Domski, while he was again in charge because I had Summer finals. I believe his instructions were "keep it simple." Instead, I kept it real. What's up?
Any winners in this bunch?

Also review these guys...
January
February
March
April
May
June

Top OFTOT Photoshops - June 2008...

So, the showcase marches on. We've now made it to June, and we're going strong. And by that I mean, you all. Because at this point, I'm feelin' the heat. Don't ever let anyone tell you blogging is easy. And if they do, tell me. I'll set that record straight...Ralph Macchio style.

Here are the "best photoshops" of June 2008, for your viewing pleasures...

Meathead Woodson

Woodson was doing some soapboxing about how players today have it easy in the offseason. He sounded cranky and I wanted to use the post title, "Those Were The Days," ipso, facto, etc. blah blah and such...

Baby Steps

I believe at the time Tec called this one nightmare inducing. Still believe that? I mean, it's definitely a solid "disturbing" to "mildly emotionally traumatic." But I'm not sure I'd elevate it to the prestige of "nightmare inducing." Would you?

The Godfather, Dick LeBeau

As far as I'm concerned, there is no better title for Dick LeBeau than "Godfather." He looks super badass here. Too bad he has that hat on. Shit does not lend itself well to a classy black and white. Oh well, I guess when your defense leads the league across the board, some people just let you get away with less. The world's an eff'd up place.

Casey At The Bat

Sure, why not? That shit actually almost looks normal...you know, if Casey Hampton had a white body. Too bad he does not. So it kind of just looks ridiculous. Not that that is anything new. Even though this makes no sense, I still think it's one of my favs. Something about Casey Hampton. I can't put my finger on it, but...

EPIC FAIL!

This remains one of my favorite visuals, not only in OFTOT history, but Steelers history. If this doesn't sum up the state of the affairs along our Offensive line last year (and to some extent, this year), I don't know what would.
What do y'all think? Fav(s)?

In case you missed the others...
January
February
March
April
May