Reminder: Karma = STILL A Bitch...

HOLD EVERYTHING!

STOP THE PRESSES!

Najeh Davenport, the man who is infamous for having shat in a young co-ed's closet while a student-athlete at the University of Miami (FLA), had his car stolen and totaled by some 22 year old degenerate yesterday.

Now, obviously you don't need me to tell you that this is major news.

I mean, even though the Steelers cut Davenport last season, twice if I'm not mistaken, clearly he'll be ingrained in the minds of Steelers fans for years to come because of his epic contributions to the team. So, naturally you all are probably incensed at the audacity of this clown, Rodney Green.

I know I am.

In other news, Allen Rossum was caught jerking it to an Olsen twins movie, Sean Mahan's vagina was touched inappropriately, and everyone continues to not care about Ricardo Colclough.

You're welcome for the update on hot news in the world of Steeler alums.

Sarcasm is palpable today...

Enjoy the rest of your Wednesday.

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

News You Might Care About...

The Steelers just re-signed Najeh Davenport.

I guess Willie's vag may be hurt more than he's letting on...

Awesome...

Not.

Happy Trails Dump Davenport...

I don't think anyone ever had anything against Najeh Davenport. But I also don't think anyone ever thought he was a long term fixture in Pittsburgh. And with the additions of Mewelde Moore via free agency and Rashard Mendenhall via the draft, it became all but assured that Najeh would be out of a job before September.

Well, the Steelers made it official Friday - dumping Davenport after failing to find any teams interested in a trade.

Over the past two seasons, the Closet Bandit amassed a good 720 yards and 6 TDs for our Steelers. Not exactly a complete failure as a backup.

It should also be noted that among his achievements last season were an admirable 129 yard performance in Week 16 filling in for FWP, and a pretty sweet TD catch against the Pats in our Week 14 bed shitting loss. So we can't really say he never did anything for us.

But it did seem like it was time.

For whatever it's worth - it's possible that this is in fact a bad move. I mean we don't really know anything about how Mewelde Moore will fit in. Nor do we know for sure how well Mendenhall will fit in (though I'm sure we can't imagine him NOT fitting in well). But we do know what we got from Davenport (besides someone who brought new meaning to "soiled clothes").

Either way, in light of his release, I'll promptly be installing a lock on my closet. I suggest you do the same.

What do you guys think? Good move? Unnecessary move? Inevitable move? Ideas on where Davenport will be shitting in closets next season?

Oh, and here's a roundup of what you missed this weekend while you were making a deodorant run at 12:30 AM...

• Brooks Orpik stones Penguins brass
• Apparently we're still scouting Running Backs?
• Wait, Cleveland has an airport?
• Real Ravens as mascots...That just doesn't seem like a good idea

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Steelers Cut Ties With Davenport [Trib]
Steelers Release Davenport, Three Others [Post-Gazette]
Najeh Davenport Stats [Yahoo! Sports]
Najeh Davenport (S)Hit and Run [OFTOT]

Yinz Guyz Gahn' Dahntahn?

Is it 5:30 yet? I'll bet you all are thinking the same thing I'm thinking right now - let me out of this friggin' place! It's time to do a little restin', relaxin', and most of all, drinkin'. But before I jet, I thought I'd offer you all a quick recap of the day's hottest Steeler/NFL/PA related news items.

So read on:

• Congress has spoken and it has said - screw you Gene Upshaw. You're a dick. Your players have shit for benefits after they retire. Now, give us all your records. Must have been Ditka.


• Rumor has it Kyle Boller might be starting for Baltimore this Sunday...that's enough. Next story.


• William Gay just "gets" Dick LeBeau. Hence, chances are we may see more of him in the coming weeks. Certainly Week 7 at Denver if McFadden is still down. Ain't gonna find any arguments here, hoss.


• Pittsburgh Tribune-Review columnist John Harris and Steelers beat writer Scott Brown play Pardon The Interruption. Highlight 1: John Harris suggesting Daniel Sepulveda could or should be rookie of the year! Highlight 2: Scott Brown suggesting the Patriots need to work on their stealth videotaping skills, and John Harris putting the word out to Steven Spielberg.


• This week's police blotter chock full of Pennsylvania Running Backs: Steelers' Deuce Davenport and Penn State's Austin Scott. As far as Davneport is concerned - like I said in comment on D.C. Steeler Nation this afternoon - sometimes, like wayne brady, you just gotta choke a bitch. And regarding Austin Scott - they oughta lock his ass up and throw away the key. Awful human being. Course, I guess there's something to be said for innocent until proven guilty, huh?

Last thing I want to mention today is that my good friend Domski will be back in the 'Burgh this weekend. So if any of you yinzers see him out and about, possibly eating a fruit parfait (exhibit A below) or maybe some potato pancakes at Eat n' Park, feel free to say hello and ask him if he thinks the Eagles are going to win the Super Bowl. Taking the weekend off for a change. See yinz on Monday, drink some 'ahrns for me this weekend.

Raise Your Hand If You Think The Steelers Are For Real...

Well Steeler fans, much to our delight, the Steelers made quick work of the Seattle Seahawks today in what some (including me) billed as a rematch of Super Bowl XL. Some rematch. In case you didn't see it or hear about it, and frankly I don't even think that's possible, let me just throw this out there - 144 total yards, 38 rushing, 106 passing - that was the stat line for the Seahawks Offense today. Leading me to my first point: The Steelers Defense will kick your ass.

Shaun Alexander - 25 yards
Matt Hasslebeck - 13/27 116 yards, 0 TDs, 1 int

Contrast that with their performances from last week:

Shaun Alexander - 78 yards
Matt Hasslebeck - 23/31 288 yards, 2 TDs, 1 int

Plus, check this -
Time of Posession: Steelers - 40:45 | Seahawks - 19:15

That's just sick.

I'd say we did our job. Once again, the Steelers showed that we are for real. The loss to Arizona seems like an anomaly. Whether that is true or not, we shall see in time. For now, it just feels good to go into the bye week 4-1, firmly atop the division and among the top teams in the AFC.

With that, let the notes begin:

NEGATIVES
(yes I'm starting with negatives because positives are somewhat obvious)

• Ike Taylor -- you gotta work on those hands brother. Yes, the bottom line is you made the pick we really needed you to make. But when you get your hands on the ball like you did twice before that, you have to bring those picks down. If there really are things we still need to work on, I'd say this is one.


• Allen Rossum -- please do not fumble the football on kick returns, thanks. We brought you here to actually field kicks rather than drop them. 2 fumbles is not what I'd call effective. If we wanted drops we'd put Willie Reid back there. Still, I know this is not a continual problem. So I'm not worried. Just try and do better in Week 7, huh?


• Whole Team -- penalties are unacceptable. When you're grossly controlling the game like we did today, you can get away with a few gaffes here and there. But that holding call on Willie's run in the 3rd Quarter (was it?), was killer. No penalty and that's a great play. Course, if there's no holding Willie probably wouldn't have been able to gain as much ground as he did, but I'm not going to split hairs. The message is pretty clear. 6 penalties, 64 yards. We can do better.

POSITIVES

• Najeh "Deuce" Davenport -- you touchdown vulture, you. Maybe you should get into a domestic dispute with the mother of your child every week, because if it means the kind of day you had today, A-ok by me. Rushing Stats = 5 rushes, 58 yards and 2 TDs. Receiving Stats = 4 catches, 38 yards. You truly are a beast of a man. I'm speechless. Keep up the good work.


• Receivers -- even without Hines Ward AND Santonio Holmes, we were able to throw the ball really well. Cedric Wilson got into the game, netting 5 catches for 69 yards, a big improvement on that giant goose egg from last week. Plus, Heath Miller added 4 catches for 44 yards and a score, Nate Washington found his hands this week, grabbing 3 balls for 26 yards, and even noob Willie Reid got himself a 25 yard grab. Bravo gentlemen. That's the kind of support we needed for Ben without our starting wideouts.


• Big Ben -- what can I say Benny boy? We love you. 18/22 for 206 yards, 1 TD, 1 short "run" for a 1st down and ZERO interceptions. You looked great today. Making your reads, being patient in the pocket and finding the open man. Excellent. But what I loved most was your answer to the bullshit post game question - "Everyone is talking about the Patriots and the Colts, should they be talking about the Steelers?" You replied coyly, "The Patriots and Colts are both good teams. You should be talking about them." A+ answer. We haven't won the Super Bowl yet. It's a week by week effort and I think we all almost hope the media keeps their damning mits off of the feel-good Steelers story until we've really earned it. Let's continue to execute each week, you can talk about us later. Keep up the good work Ben.


• Fast William Parker -- don't worry about Najeh getting those goal line looks. You set those up. 28 carries for 102 yards. You did good. Keep showing 'em each week why you're a star. Ain't much more to say than that...


• James Farrior -- last but not least, every time I turned around, you were in the backfield chasing after Hasslebeck. Even at 32, you have not seemed to have lost a step. 2 sacks today, 4 on the season. 3 solo tackles and 2 assisted tackles. Keep bringing the ruckus, and show those rooks what it means to play Linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Two thumbs up.

In closing, I just want to say one thing - 47 points allowed all season, an average of less than 10 points a game. The last time we had numbers like that was 1978, when we allowed 51 total points. Also, gotta note that in 1975, we allowed only 48 total points. What do both those years have in common? Super Bowls. Does that mean we're headed for a Championship? I'm not prepared to go that far. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that we can get our guys healthy again for Week 7 against the Denver Broncos...wow, a week off...what the hell am I going to write about? I'll figure it out...hope you all enjoyed today's game. Here we go Steelers, Here we go!!

Game Recaps (as of "press time"):
[ESPN]
[Post-Gazette]
[MSN Video of Big Ben Post-Game]
[Steel City Insider]
[CBSSportsline]

Heyo, Deuce Davenport At It Again!

This is the kind of story I just sit at my desk or at home waiting to read. One man's dream of what we call "blog material"...well, I'd at least give it 3 stars out of 4. So, according to KDKA.com, backup tailback Najeh Davenport had "a run in" with Cleveland police after a "domestic dispute" with the mother of his 5-year old son.

From what I gather, and I assume I'm getting these facts right, Najeh (or Deuce, whichever you prefer) roused said mother of his child when he arrived at her home to collect his son for a visit (which he claims a legal right to do). There was allegedly some sort of "altercation" in which I'm sure there was a lot of screaming, kicking, hair pulling and broken heels involved (mostly on the part of Najeh no doubt), the most significant event in the whole thing apparently coming when the woman pulled Najeh's son out of his car. God knows why that was significant...pretty vague in the details section...

Actually, come to think of it, it's not really a very interesting story. Najeh ought to learn, if he's going to have altercations with the law, for the sake of my blog, he should really make them more compelling. But whatever.

Anyways, no charges have yet been filed and Najeh claims "if the glove don't fit, you must acquit"...er...rather that he never laid a finger on this woman. I believe you dude, I believe you.

Just goes to show you. That's what you get for hanging out in Cleveland, man.

** UPDATE: KDKA.com now has audio from the 911 call...check it.

See also:
Najeh Davenport (S)hit and Run
HamperShitter.info

The Real Deal, Period.

Lest ye think LaMarr Woodley is not hardcore, witness the YouTube magic below. Some crafty individual caught this video of our new prize gem as he blew through Najeh Davenport. Check it out, it will only make you love the guy more.

And if you've got 6 minutes or so, this 2007 Preview is worth a look...just strings together a bunch of footage from preseason thus far.