September 18, 2008

That's Some Good Motivation, Dude...

“We all dream of doing great things. What are you going to do today to make it happen?”

- Mike Tomlin
So Mike Tomlin, quote machine and apparent Tony Robbins impersonator, spoke to the "9th Grade Nation" of Pittsburgh yesterday. Whatever the hell that means. And joining him was the ailing Chuck Batch and the $7 Million Dollar backup Man, Max Starks.

Now, all I can say about this is - I'm uber-jealous. When I was in 9th grade, the best we got was our boring ass principal. Not exactly glamorous and/or motivating if you ask me. "You guys can do anything you want if you put your mind to it." Yeah, lady? Like what? I mean I'd like to be at home enjoying an intense game of 007 for N64. But I can't do that, can I? Because I've gotta sit here and listen to you talk about how important 9th grade health class is to my education. Listen, I've seen all those girl parts already, but thanks for the heads up. 9th grade health...whatever.

We did have an interim principal when I was in 10th grade (Maybe 11th? Who can tell one from the other at this point?) who introduced himself by having the entire school choir back him in a rendition of R Kelly's, "I Believe I Can Fly," though. Which, you know, I thought was a nice touch. Singing the song of a known child molester to a bunch of not yet legal teenagers. Good work, man. But what you'll find most entertaining/shocking - I was part of that backup choir. Yes, you heard me. I was in the school choir. It's ok. Go ahead and laugh. I'm laughing just thinking about it.

So 9th Grade Nation of Pittsburgh - I sincerely hope you were motivated by Tomlin's smooth talking and whatever lyrical stylings Chuck Batch and Max Starks added. Because I can almost guarantee it was infinitely better than what I was forced to choke down.

Moral of this story - Being in the school choir = Nerd Alert!

PS - In case it wasn't blatantly obvious, the main reason for this post was to re-use that fine photoshop you see above. Man that's good stuff.

/pats self on back

18 comments:

Get Fresh Designs said...

007 for N64 was sweet, no one beat me in the multi-player mode.

10th grade we had the airforce rock band, singing 70's/80's rock songs. yay.

it is a sweet photoshop. good job.

Cotter said...

Actually, the 007 reference was anachronistic. I didn't have that shit until I was at least half way through 9th grade. I don't even think it existed before that...but whatever. It was better than anything else I could think of...

And yeah, I ruled multi-player mode too. Still do, actually. I'll take anybody on. Oddjob, dude. Straight karate chop you down to size!

tecmo said...

We need to play 007 like right now!

Cotter said...

It, along with the N64, still reside at my parents place. Note to self - grab that shit next time you're home, jagoff.

/mental note made

random asshole said...

007? Fuck that. Perfect Dark was better. As was Smash Bros., even if it's completely unrelated.

marc said...

You were in the school choir, so i'm assuming you are lying when you said that by 9th grade you had seen all those girl parts already.

marc said...

I don't think I was in HS when Goldeneye came out, i was still in 6th grade or something, I'm not sure.

I think the best game was WCW NWO Revenge.


We're going to get into a "I disagree, Donkey Kong is the best game ever"
"Donkey Kong SUCKS"

Cotter said...

random asshole ~ My freshman roommate and I actually spent an inordinate amount of time playing Perfect Dark and I must say, you're right. Though I didn't know about it before that...

marc ~ I was waiting for someone to make that connection...hahaha, nice work man. Good to know someone's answering my silent calls. Although, you'd be surprised how successful a dude can be when surrounded by chicks who know he can sing...think about it. Chicks dig that shit.

Oh, and screw Donkey Kong. That was cool until like 1987, when Mario Bros. came out for original Nintendo...or whenever that was. I can't remember that far back.

marc said...

I remember back in middle school, inspired by Revenge (the video game) me and a buddy were going to build a wrestling ring. We got as far as stealing a 10 foot metal fence pole and walking over a mile with it to a friends house. For all I know that pole is still there...

so i guess what i'm saying is you were probably more sucessful with women than i was at that point in our lives. haha

tobidontbelieveyou said...

Wait a sec...do you realize what a contradictory statement you just made?:

"..I've seen all those girl parts already, but thanks.."

and

"..I was part of that backup choir."

Cotter, i'm afraid these two statements are not only incompatible, but are, in fact, completely mutually exclusive. If you were "part of the..choir" you certainly WERE NOT "..already familiar..with..[girl] Parts.."

Seriously.

Do you think we wouldn't catch that?

Guess i showed you, huh?

random asshole said...

Tob, they're not incompatible. You can be sure that Cotter was the Internet Porn Master by ninth grade. I'm sure he'd seen it all and had a sticky keyboard to show for it.

tobiathan was musical too said...

Dammit.

I really should read the comments before making one...marc already beat me to the punchline.

Oh well...nice catch, marc. It's still a valid point we/i make.

Singingboy....muwhahahaa..

It's a good thing you guys don't know i was in the marching ban...uh..i mean...on the football team..

(actually, i did both)

tobigrewupinthe80's said...

Good point, random-

I forgets yinz yung'uns had them thar intrawebs in yer skool daze..

I only had three cable channels.

No- really..

Lori said...

First I want to express my gratitude for the link.

Secondly, I can't say anything about chorus because I can totally rival the nerdiness. However, just a heads up to all of your male readers.. music conservatories are about 60% straight girls, 20% gay guys and 20% straight guys... the vast majority of whom are more socially awkward then you can believe. If that doesn't boil down to a sea of women, I don't know what does.

SickBoy said...

Lori,

How do i goes aboot gettin' inta wunn o' them-thar con-servy-torries?

Do i just sneak in at nyte while evr'boddies sleepn??

Mmmmmm..seas of womens......

Lori said...

haha what a creeper.

Cotter said...

Ten bucks says it's Tobiathan...

Noah said...

I'll have you know, that I loved choir and still do here at College, since I'm majoring in Music and all with my major performance area in voice. Yes, I am a nerd, but someone has to do it right. At the very least I'm a nerd and a Steelers fan. That has to count for something right?

As for the 64. I had a PS, so I can't connect. But I had plenty a good time playing Smash Bros. at friends places.