Your Move, Big Ben...

I had to take a shower after this one I felt so dirty. Like, Christina Aguilera circa 2002, dirty. I mean, if we wanted someone to shit the bed, we wouldn't have released Najeh Davenport this weekend. Am I wrong?

Of course, I'm joking. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say we "shit the bed." But that's how it feels right now. Honestly, I doubt I can say anything positive about losing the third game of the season when again, as with the last two, we had the game in reach only to be let down by untimely mistakes.

The story of yesterday's game - points off of turnovers. They got 'em, we did not. 14 points off of turnovers given to you in your opponents territory? That's how you win football games. I'm not going to say anything about the caliber of Peyton Manning's play. I'm just going to say that he did what he had to do to win the game. And at least yesterday, did not make any big mistakes.

You can say the Defense was also to blame for not stopping him. But when you give a perennial pro bowler, injured one or not, the ball at your 30 yard line, it's going to be tough for the Defense to keep him from getting points. Sure, they could've held 'em to three both times. And yeah, they definitely could've. But I think why I'm reluctant to put more heat on them is because they've been getting overworked. If the Offense doesn't turn the ball over and gets their job done, maybe they get more rest and maybe they're able to stop the Colts when it really counts.

But maybes are at this point, moot. We lost. So let's just do the Monday morning thing and sift through the "Things That Were Awesome," "Things That Were Not Awesome," and "Things I Have No Words For."

Things That Were Awesome:
1. Ike Taylor - water covers 71% of the Earth, Face Me Ike covers the rest**
2. Mewelde Mo' - 54 rush yds, 48 receving yds, 2 TDs. HUGE.
3. Matt Spaeth - 6 catches, 53 yds...with an allegedly broken right hand.
4. Hines Ward - 9 catches, 116 yds, 1 badass stiff arm, 1 beauty queen smile.
5. Flea-flicker - Ben to Hines for 41 yards and almost a TD! That's creativity at work!

Things That Were Not Awesome:
1. Defensive Holding penalties.
2. Only 3 pts off of an 8 minute drive capped by 3 runs in a row toward the same general vicinity.
3. Dallas Baker - did you wanna try and make a play on that Hail Mary?
4. 0 turnovers. Again. But Hank Poteat and Chris Hope got picks yesterday!
5. LaMarr Woodley being inactive.

Things I Have No Words For:
1. Still not sure who Ben was throwing that ball to in the 2nd Quarter...Besides Keiwan Ratliff...Who is a Colt.
2. Yo Sansmokio, you too stoned to try and wrestle that ball away from Tim Jennings?
3. Max Starks holding penalty in a crucial spot! What's the breakdown of $ to yds cost?
4. 1st 20 minutes of Game - 2 sacks. Rest of Game - 0 sacks.
5. End around to Santonio? Hey, Bruce - that shit ISN'T WORKING! Try something else.

Meanwhile in Baltimore, the Ravens won yesterday. That means we're tied for the division. Thankfully, right now, we hold the tie breaker.

The other good news is, while we've got the Chargers next week, who almost lost to the CHIEFS(!) yesterday, the Ravens've got, gasp, the Giants. And we've got the Chargers at home to boot, though home field obviously did us no good yesterday. The Ravens've got the Giants at the Meadowlands. Bodes well for us. But not if we continue to screw around.

Object of the today: Try not to hurt anyone at work. God help you if you work with any Colts fans.

Oh wait, I almost forgot - Willie Parker? Yeah, he's got a torn labrum that will require offseason surgery. And it's "unclear" if and when he'll return this season. Good thing we drafted Rashard Mendenhall in the 1st round. Shit. Nevermind. I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead...ah, whatever, feel free to voice your grievances along with me in the comments.

** Does anyone actually know where this saying came from? Dude, the rest is only like 29%. That's not really that much. Then again, the Earth is pretty big. OR I could have just completely made that saying up. That's easily possible too.

Well, At Least The Browns Lost...

Full game recap post to come. But let me just be the first to say (here, that is) - that sucked. At no point in that game did I feel like we had any idea what we were doing on Offense. And one thing's for sure, at least 3/5 of the Offensive Line didn't either. Thank you very much Willie Colon, Kendall Simmons and Chris Kemoeatu (I'm real disappointed in you, dude). Oh, and Ben...listen man, you should probably learn to get rid of the ball quicker. I mean, I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

Until I get my act together, feel free to express your frustrations in the comments.

PS - Before I forget, Tobiathan did an excellent job liveblogging this game! I'm sorry it was a loss, because he probably didn't enjoy it as much as he could have if we won. But he's a master liveblogger. If you didn't catch it, be sure to stop by next Sunday. The dude is like Al Michaels AND John Madden rolled into one (in a good way, though).

But yeah, see subject line for a silver lining to this black cloud.

/I'll just be over here in the fetal position crying if you need me...