AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Wow, what can I say about this headline that this hasn't already been said about this mugshot...


And what can I say about this mugshot that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan? He looks bombed out and depleted. Someone get this man some Rohto-V for Christ's sake.

So what's up with Terry Glenn?

Here's the salient part...

"After determining Glenn was "intoxicated or disoriented," officers arrested him on a public intoxication charge, [Officer David] Tull said. A subsequent search turned up a small amount of marijuana, leading to a misdemeanor charge of possessing less than 2 ounces of the drug."

Hello, Taco Bell? Terry Glenn needs a Triple Steak Burrtio and a Mexican Pizza. Oh, and three soft tacos, an order of nachos, some churros if you've got 'em, and the biggest Cherry Coke you've got.

Atta boy, Terry Glenn. You show 'em that just because you're old doesn't mean you can't party.

Eek. That's pretty grim.

Terry Glenn may be looking rough around the edges, but these links are squeaky clean...

PSaMP gets a shout out on ESPN's Jim Rome Is Burning!! [PSaMP]

Epic gallery of Super Bowl images. The definitive collection, if you will (h/t Gigler) [Whatever Site This Is]

Vern abuses that Browns fan dude from yesterday like nobody's business. This was both hilarious and inevitable. He even found the dude's picture [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad!]

Sean gets denied his best rate because he's had three cigars in five years. I wonder if Snoop Dogg has the same problem [Sean's Ramblings]

Master Fly W. Large is not familiar with this Bruce Springsteen fellow [HHR]

Eat 'n Park sets record Smiley sales!!! [Pittsburgh Business Times]

The Steelers signed someone from the CFL. RB/Return Specialist Stefan Logan? No idea [Vancouver Sun]

Next up this offseason - Free Agency...yay...ish [Post-Gazette]

March 28, Somerset High School - PA State Police vs. Steelers...this should be good [Daily American]

I wonder if the NFL will do the same for shirts with "One For The Other Thumb"...yeah, still all quiet on the Western front [HHR]

Former Eagle on current Eagle crime [Sports Radio Interviews]

The Patriots have franchised Matt Cassel....Yeah, Tom Brady's gonna be fine [ESPN]

Speaking of ESPN...this chart is worth it just for the ESPN reference [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

Chiefs pluck Todd Haley from Cardinals wings. See what I did there. Pro [Fox Sports]

Barry Bonds doesn't drink. He does steroids. Apparently, LOTS of steroids [Yahoo! Sports]

You can't bring your own beer to Preakness anymore? What reason do I have to go, then? I don't even like Nascar [Baltimore Sun]

Theme of today's riffs = "Freedom" [Friday Morning Riffs]

Hey, did Michael Phelps get caught smoking weed this week? I feel like I heard that somewhere...weird. Who. Gives. A. Crap?

Oh, and Silverback doesn't mess around...

Respect.

Was That You, Neil O'Donnell?

Yikes, I'll bet the emergency rooms of Pittsburgh were up to their ears in cardiac arrests last night!

Turnover after turnover after turnover, and yet, just three points.

And I mean, Jeff Reed missed a field goal? Albeit a 45 yarder, which is no chip shot on a normal day at Heinz, let alone on a bitterly cold one.

And wait, Heath Miller fumbled? I guess we can check that one off on the list of things that only happen once in a blue moon.

If you had told me all this without telling me the final score, I'd have probably assumed that the Steelers lost.

But thankfully, that was NOT the case!

After scoring 10 unanswered points in the 4th quarter to tie it up with 2 minutes left, Deshea Townsend, an unlikely hero, sealed the deal with a beautiful pick six that just might have been partial payback for Super Bowl XXX. Sure, it wasn't nearly of the same magnitude. But, isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?


Whoa, Alanis Morisette. That's when you know things have gone from bad to worse at OFTOT.

Anyways, while I think it's discouraging that our Offense couldn't get anything going for basically three quarters, they got it going when it mattered most - in the clutch. And I'll take that over a loss, every day of the week.

So let's just get right to it - this week's "Things That Were Awesome," "Things That Were Not Awesome," and "Things That Nearly Landed Me In Intensive Care"...and once that's over, give us all yours in the comments! Not you, Cowboys fans. If you're here to talk shit, you might as well click away now. Nobody wants to hear your crying...

THINGS THAT WERE AWESOME
1. Troy's league-leading 7th INT on 3rd play of the game! And Domski called it!
2. Stopping Cowboys on 4th down, twice in the 1st half!
3. Ike Taylor got a pick! I mean, he actually caught the ball! And I called it!
4. Watching TO bitch on the sidelines!
5. James Farrior - a sack and 12(!) total tackles, 6 solo!
6. Nate Washington on the game tying drive - 3 catches for 51 (of 67 total on the drive) yds!
7. Silverback - 1 sack/forced fumble and 5 solo tackles. Still a monster!
8. Sansmokio's 35 yard punt return!
9. Heath Miller's TD!
10. Deshea's knife in the Cowboys gut for the win!

...Sidebar - Can you tell that these things enthused me?

THINGS THAT WERE NOT AWESOME
1. 5 sacks on Ben, all in the 2nd half
2. Anthony Smith - Fighting, dude? You're lucky you weren't flagged!
3. Getting 0 on our 1st drive in the 2nd half then letting the Cowboys score 7
4. Jeff Reed missing a 45 yarder (though I'd like to give him a pass)
5. Going into the half tied at 3 despite 4 Dallas turnovers and a variety of Dallas injuries

THINGS THAT ALMOST LANDED ME IN INTENSIVE CARE
1. Mitch Berger - two punts under 20 yds and a net avg of 32 yds
2. Ben's fumble in the 2nd quarter
3. Can we please stop showing Michael Phelps at football games? Seriously. I know this was the Ravens game, but come on. Isn't his 15 minutes up until 2012?
4. Tashard Choice - 166 total yards, 88 rushing (most by any back vs. '08 Steelers)
5. Going for it on 4th down at the goal line and getting stuffed!

And as has been the case lately, here's some pictures to enjoy as well...


Nikki pups was ready to rumble...


How sweet it was! By the way, does Larry Foote's tattoo say "I Go Hard?"...that's what she said.


Now, there's something I haven't seen 14 other times this season!


Heath was available for piggyback rides after the game as well...


PS - is that blood on his pants?


Something about that visor just makes Sansomkio look real badass.


FAIL!


Yep, that's a hole, alright.


Aw, Ben loves you too, Demarcus...and also, Kemoeatu FAIL!


Hey Wade, I see that you have the same jacket as me, but with the Cowboys colors. Congratulations, I hope you like it as much as I do. Good game, too...ish.


Abort! Abort! We have been spotted!

Unfortunately, the Ravens won again last night, which puts them at 9-4. Still just a game behind us. And by the way, whoever it was that told me during the liveblog that the Ravens wouldn't capitalize on turnovers - 14 points off of two in the 1st quarter (of their 24 total points) last night. Just sayin'...

10-3! Ravens next week! It's gonna be a good one! I can't wait!

Now, my friends, the floor is yours...

OFTOT's Steelers Gameday Liveblog...

Wow, if you can't get excited for this one, you must not be a Steeler fan. That or you're comatose. I'll be along shortly for this liveblog thing.

You know, we'll talk about the Steelers and stuff. Good times.

The Wood Loves The Smell Of Heinz In Winter...

He's been up in Eli's face
Campbell and McNabb were a feast
But yet one man remains
In the pesky NFC East.

So wrap up that pinky
Buckle that helmet with care
For The Wood is coming
Tony Romo, beware!

In just one more hour
It's gonna be the real deal
Now let's brand these Cowgirls
With some good ol' Pittsburgh Steel!

HERE WE GO, STEELERS! HERE WE GO!

See y'all around 4:10 for the liveblog extravaganza! In the meantime, cue this one up...

[Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show - Week 14...

You know, as the season marches on, and we get more adept at this being on camera business, it gets harder and harder to decide what makes the show and what hits the cutting room floor. Whatever made it into this week's show, we hope you enjoy!

And someone send me some Xanax. I'm nervous as hell for this game...

HERE WE GO, STEELERS!

Watch this piece again over at PSaMP.

Pre-Happy Hour, Happy Hour...

A little Friday afternoon fun for you, at the expense of the Dallas Cowboys. Feel free to add your own captions in the comments...


The search for Demarcus Ware's contact continues to baffle Anthony Henry, Ken Hamlin and Jay Ratliff...


Pac Man's warmup routine...for "da scrip club," that is...


You know, Terrell, the way your eyes look in this light...


Hmmm, what exactly is going on here?


'Nuff said.


This is the only time you'll hear me say I'm jealous of the Jonas Brothers...


Yo, check me out, Ken Hamlin. I'm staying alive like the Bee Gees!


Too. Much. Thinking. Hurt. Adam's. Brain.

Yeah...it's that kind of afternoon. Cheers!

We've Got That Whole Cowboy Thing Going...

MY favorite Cowboy. Check that link if you don't get the post title...

So what are we really dealing with here, with Dallas on the horizon?

The bad news is that Tony Romo's allegedly healthy, and the Cowboys Defense trails only our Steelers in the total sacks category with 40 (we have 42).

The good news is that Felix Jones, Marion Barber and NFL sack leader, Demarcus Ware (15 total) are hurt. Of course, that news isn't that good, because Barber and Ware are just "day-to-day." But both just got hurt last Thursday, so maybe that means something, maybe it doesn't.

Either way, let's size up these Cryboys...

We'll start on Defense. After all, it wins championships, as you may have heard. The Cowgirls D is giving up an average of about 22 points, 100 yards rushing and 200 yards passing per game. Compare that with our Defense, which is giving up an average of only 14 points, 71 rushing yards and 147 passing yards per game. Clearly we've got the competitive advantage. But their Defense, unfortunately, won't be facing ours. They'll be facing our Offense. The same one that's ranked 24th overall in total Offense, and yet still averages 107 rushing yards, 227 passing yards and 23 points per game. It's also the same one that's allowed 36 sacks. So I really can't definitively say how I feel about that. The Cowboys, as Domski eloquently puts it, "bring the heat." And we haven't really been blocking "the heat." Recipe for success? Who knows. Either way, I thought "the heat" was another way of referring to Gonorrhea. Am I wrong, Domski?

Now, what about Offense? With Tony Romo under center, the Dallas Douchebags (I don't even see the need to be cute about it anymore) are 7-2, averaging about 29 points and 284 yards passing per game, which includes six 300 yard passing games by Romo. Of course, some of that could be skewed by the fact that they played the Browns, Bengals, 49ers and Seachickens. But nevertheless, those are the stats. And while the Cowboys running game, in theory, could also be strong if Barber plays, the fact is, our Defense is murdering everyone. We're only giving up 71 yards rushing per game and we've already seen the likes of the Giants three-headed monster, Joseph Addai, the MJD/Fred Taylor show, LT, Portis and SAMMY MORRIS! Ok, so that last one was a joke. But "down" years or not, the rest of them are some good backs. Simply put, they have a good Offense, we have a good Defense. I like ice cream sandwiches, you like ice cream sandwiches.

So what does it all mean, then?

Frankly, I don't have a clue. I don't size up games based on numbers. Every game is a big one. And this one's no different. It certainly isn't going to be easy on us. But it may not be as difficult as some of the talking heads would have you believe.

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Thoughts from the peanut gallery?

PS - speaking of Cowboys-Steelers, check this out...

Click here for Super Bowl X in clips of 10 minutes. It's pretty awesome, actually.

Oh, and one more thing - the Steelers can clinch a playoff berth this weekend (albeit not the one that counts) with a win and a Patriots and Dolphins loss. So we've got that going for us...which is nice.

Moments In Greatness, Starring Tony Romo...

Ok, that win on Sunday was pretty awesome. Many things to be happy about. We found our balls on Offense (PS - I'll bet Wes Welker's still looking for his), and our Defense showed everyone why they're number one. But now we're on to a new challenge with the Cowgirls riding into Pittsburgh on Sunday.

So I'm going to focus my efforts this morning on Dallas' little princess, Tony Romo. As I'm sure I don't need to tell you, this guy's had some tough times in the limelight. From his first snap to his well publicized relationship with Nick Lachey's sloppy seconds Jessica Simpson to his most recent pinky fiasco, the cameras have loved Tony and have reveled in his periodic and often untimely failures.

Therein lies the premise of this post. Rather than respectfully call out some of his better games, of which I'm sure there have been many, I thought I'd remember some of the REAL good times. You know, the times when he's looked utterly embarrassing. Though, I must say, I don't claim to be any kind of Tony Romo historian or anything. So take all this for what you will.

Alright, now the pretty pictures...

October 23, 2006 - The time our valiant hero trotted out onto the hallowed turf of Texas Stadium, to start the 2nd half for a struggling Drew Bledsoe against the Cowboys arch nemesis Giants, and on his very first play, fans screaming his name, sculptors probably already sculpting his bust for the Hall, he throws a pick! He'd finish with three on the day (in that one half).

CHAMPIONSHIP!

December 25, 2006 - The time that bitch Carrie Underwood roughed up his game, compelling him to throw two picks and go 14/29 for 142 yards and a QB rating of 45 (yes, I still consider this a garbage stat).

CHAMPIONSHIP!

December 31, 2006 - The time he threw two picks and fumbled four times en route to a 39-31 loss to DETROIT (yes, the Lions sucked then too).

CHAMPIONSHIP!

I believe this one is called, "The Brady Quinn" look. Nothing to do with any kind of game or anything, just looks funny.

Moving on...

January 6, 2007 - The time the Cowboys were poised to beat the Seacocks on a short field goal with one minute left in the NFC Wild Card game, and all he had to do was put the ball down straight for Martin Gramatica...but it was too much pressure for him to handle. So he fumbled the shit out of it. Jerry Jones felt, in a word, "empty."

CHAMPIONSHIP!

June 25, 2007 [or sometime thereafter] - The time that God damend Diet Pepsi Max commercial debuted. Matt can tell you all about this one...or to refresh your memories...

This garbage, or the Saved by Zero commercials? Kind of like asking if you prefer getting kicked in the balls to getting punched in the face? Either way, they both suck. CHAMPIONSHIP!

December 16, 2007 - The time that bitch Jessica Simpson made him throw three picks and fumble twice en route to a 10-6 loss to the Eagles. His QB rating that day? 22.

CHAMPIONSHIP!

January 13, 2008 - The time he lost in the divisional round of the playoffs, coming in as the #1 seed but having spent the prior week off in Mexico with his main squeeze, Jessica...ESPN tells me those Cowgirls were the first No. 1 seed in the NFC to lose in that round since the NFL went to the 12-team playoff format in 1990.

CHAMPIONSHIP!

By the way, that's TO's QUARTERBACK and they lost as a team, man!


October 12, 2008 - The infamous Pinky injury. Let that be a lesson to you, kids. There is such a thing as masturbating too much.

CHAMPIONSHIP!

Right, so now you guys can all yell at me for blatantly ignoring how good Tony Romo actually is...but, you know, I already know that. I hear he's a real good golfer, too. Just not as fun to talk about, nahmeen?

And speaking of moments in greatness...

Is he smiling???

AFC North Headline of the Day...

This headline needs no further explanation.

Of course, elsewhere it seems Browns sympathizers think this had more to do with the Cowboys being that good than the Browns being that bad. Yeah, because Tony Romo is probably the best QB out there who has never been known to shut down when faced with a secondary that actually doesn't suck...


Starting the season 0-1 with an 18 point loss to the Cowboys = CHAMPIONSHIP!

Who the Hell is Ryan Fowler and...

Why would any team offer him $10.5 million as a restricted free agent?

I mean, maybe if he was a top tier player I could understand it. But the fact is he's only started in three games for the Dallas Cowboys (his current team)and has really only been a presence on special teams!

Hey Sports Illustrated --
Sign of the Apocalypse ~ Restricted free agent LB Ryan Fowler signs 4-year, $10.5 million offer sheet with Tennessee Titans after rebuking a similar deal from the Philadelphia Eagles. Ryan Fowler, primarily a special teamer for the Cowboys, has only started a total of three games in three NFL seaons, let alone qualifying/playing in a pro bowl or any other meaningful game. Contextually, the $4 million he would be paid next year as part of the Titans offer, matches what the Steelers were scheduled to pay former 3-time pro-bowl LB Joey Porter next season...wait, did I mention he was an undrafted rookie free agent signing out of Duke? (not that there's anything wrong with that...)

Kevin Colbert is right man, this free agency thing is getting ridiculous!