AFC North Headline Of The Day...

#1 - Who cares?

#2 - Look at how well Pacman reinventing himself worked out?

#3 - Who cares?

#4 - What's the over/under on number of times Pacman gets arrested now? Remember, he's only 25.

#5 - Who will be this year's Cowboys charity case?

Yeah, I don't really care about this story either. But, you know, gotta use something.

By the way, if this surprises you, you need to get your head out of your ass.

This story may not matter, but these links are uber-relevant...

Looks like Tomlin's hero must be Carlton Banks from Fresh Prince [PSaMP]

Ravenstahl and Snoop - Regulators [Sportsocracy]

A heartwarming story about Troy and a little girl with Cancer. I repeat, Troy is awesome [Altoona Mirror]

Hold the phone, apparently the Steelers know nothing of this fractured rib nonsense Ben is freely discussing with the media [Associated Press]

I've found another bastion of sound logic in Tennessee besides Michael Griffin [Nashville City Paper]

And I never thought I'd say this, but the same goes for this guy in Cleveland [Orange and Brown Report]

Speaking of the Browns, it appears Leigh Bodden is once again available...guess the Browns won that one [Associated Press]

The Burgh may name a street after Chuck Noll. 'Bout time! [Associated Press]

Dude in Steelers gear robs Westmoreland gas station...didn't a dude in Steelers gear rob a bank in the Burgh during the parade last week? Same guy? Who knows... [MSNBC]

Plaxico Burress is a degenerate. What else is new? [Associated Press]

So A-Rod was juicing in 2001. Just look at the company he was in... [Walkoff Walk]

Which raises the question, was A-Rods drug use really that surprising? [Moondog Sports]

NYC is opening the Business of Sports School. Isn't Sports Marketing already a major at a lot of schools? [Sports Agent Blog]

Just in time for Valentine's Day - the "I Love VD" shirt. Get 'em while they're hot [Get Fresh Designs]

Speaking of Doug...how about this photoshop. Eek! [Dug E. Fresh Rants]

Tiny doesn't mess around on the Metro [Cheese People]

Sorry folks, working on something decent for this afternoon, but you know, I have responsibilities. Don't worry, you won't be let down...

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

I'm not entirely sure I even need to add anything to that. Not only is Plax now a headline, but he's also a punchline. Well, ok, he's been a punchline. But now even more so...

Number one, what does Plaxico Burress need with a gun?

Number two, if his hamstring is so hurt, what's he doing in a club anyhow?

Number three, I still don't understand how you can go through all the shit he's gone through with the Giants and think that going out to a club with a loaded gun is a good idea.

By the way, I know this has nothing to do with the division, but I just couldn't let this one slide. I doubt Goodell and the Giants will either.

Hopefully you'll let these links slide, though...

Your weekly Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker [PSaMP]

Matt's thoughts on yesterday's game [Superhero.]

A Burress Story. Stroke of genius! [Tirico Suave]

ERIC PEGRAM JERSEY SIGHTING! [Straight Cash Homey]

Raise a glass for the 'Burgh's 250th anniversary [Post-Gazette]

Here you go, Anonymous Pats fan - Ryan Clark apologizes but says he was just doing his job [Post-Gazette]


And a roundup of Headlines in the aftermath of yesterday's drubbing...
"Pain is Steelers gain in bloody win vs. Pats" [Yahoo! Sports]

"Defense, running game shine in Steelers’ win over Pats" [Sporting News]

"Welker, Patriots feel wrath -- pain -- of Steelers football" [CBS Sports]

"Steelers dominate Patriots, 33-10" [Post-Gazette]

"Steelers blast Patriots, 33-10" [Post-Gazette]

"No Patriots Day" [SteelCityInsider]

"'Burgher joint" [Boston Globe]

He's A ComPlax Individual...

The Giants. We're playing 'em Sunday. So what better way to start off Giants week than to talk about Plaxico Burress? None, right? That's what I thought you'd say.

Plaxico Burress is a pox. As we well know, he is herpes, SARS and the avian flu all rolled into one. He is to Pittsburgh what Terrell Owens is to Philadelphia. But scaled proportionately to the amount of shit each respective franchise would tolerate. He has made a career out of consistently keeping himself from reaching his full potential. He's made dumb mistakes, he's refused to run routes 100%, and if this report is correct, he still owes back taxes to Moon Township (Domski - better get Sandy on the case).

But for all of his bullshit, he's a superbly talented receiver. He was pretty awesome for us. He's been downright dominant at times for the Giants. He's 6'5", 232 lbs of diva, who still holds the Steelers record for most receiving yards in a single game. And like Chad Ocho Cinco, if he played the game anything like Hines Ward plays the game, he'd probably be a first ballot hall of famer. You know, this is Plaxico's 8th season in the league? And he's still never made a pro bowl he still acts like a rookie.

It defies logic, I know.

Anyways, since I'm accustomed to doing this sort of thing, I figured I might as well rip on Plax a bit. So today I thought it'd be fun to play a little game I'm calling - "What's Plaxico Burress Saying?"

I think you can pretty much figure out how it works on your own.

I'll lead with the comment I made over at Deuce of Davenport yesterday. Here we go...


Plax: "Yeah, let me get a double cheese, sausage and bologna pie delivered to Giants stadium? Yeah, on the home sidelines. Just ask for Plaxico." [hangs up phone]

Mr. Hand Tom Coughlin: "Mr. Burress, you're on dangerous ground here. You're causing a major disturbance on my sidelines and on my time."

Plax: "I've been thinking about this, Coach Coughlin. If I'm here...and you're here... doesn't that make it our time?"


"Aw Paris, like OMG, I would LOVE to be your new bff. LOL. TTYL."


"Girl, you know that kid ain't mine. I ain't even ever been to Alaska."


"What, this visor? Yeah, this is why I'm hot..."


"Why yes, I'd love to do 'Dancing with the Stars?'"


"You people keep [redacted] around, I'm gon' go get my gun."


"Yes. I would like free tickets to the ballet, thank you very much."


"Who the hell is this Eli Manning guy you keep talking about?"


"I don't know, Mom. I think Smurfs would go better with my uniform."


"What the [redacted] you think? I'm Plaxico Burress, bitch!"

Oh yeah, and the Giants have some other guys named, like, Eli Manning, Brandon Jacobs, Steve Smith, and Dominick Hixon who are pretty good too. McFadden is out for Sunday, and Troy is questionable. Sounds like it should be a fun one...

Everybody May Love Raymond, But Everybody Hates Plaxico Burress...

Wow, I mean, not like I'm surprised, but Plaxico Burress is quite publicly disfavored right now.

First the whole Giants thing. Now, some rental car company is after Plax for damage he allegedly caused to one of their vehicles.

Please tell me it was a Dodge Stratus...

Anyways, it seems Burress tried to pull the ol' "scratch that shit up, then drop it off late night when no one's around to notice" tactic. You know, because he's pretty low profile anyhow. No real reason for them to scrutinize him over your average Joe renting a Ford Econoline van. But alas, the company did notice, and it's owner is none too pleased.

He offered the following quote, which may pretty much sum up the man that is Plaxico Burress better than any beat writer or blogger could...

"He's a bum."

Yeah, I think that about says it all, don't you?

Oh Plaxico, when will you learn.

/shakes head in disappointment