December 4, 2008

Dear NFL..


So the "NFL" somewhat officially said yesterday that Ryan Clark's hit on Wes Welker was clean. Well, ok, specifically, NFL Ref Wrangler Mike Pereira said...

A lot of people think it’s a foul to leave your feet...Launching is not a foul. There is nothing in the rulebook that states that at all...It is a foul to hit with your helmet against a defenseless receiver. It is a foul to throw a forearm into the neck or head area of your opponent.
Now, I hate bitching about officiating. I've said it a million times. But I really can't ignore all the bullshit the Steelers have already endured this season. It's bad enough that James Harrison is held on probably 50% of the snaps, but we've been penalized on some pretty dubious calls for at least the last month.

So I've decided to pen an open letter to the NFL Front Office, one and all. You know, to really let them know exactly how this makes me feel. Take a read and feel free to share your own letter in the comments.

[BEGIN LETTER]
Dear NFL,
Thank you so very much for clearing Ryan Clark's name. I can't tell you how delighted we are to receive your blessing in this matter. But, you know, that does bring one question to mind - if Clark's hit was clean, then how come the Patriots got an extra 15 yards because of it?

I mean, either way, it doesn't much matter. James Harrison diffused that drive just a few plays later with his second sack and forced fumble, despite having been held for the better part of the game. But, like, well, even you yourselves just said, it wasn't a penalty.

Is this Hines Ward's fault? Just because a dude questions a fine, all of a sudden he and the rest of the team are under more scrutiny than Pac Man, ahem ahem, I mean Adam Jones?

Or maybe it's because Troy called the NFL a "pansy" league? What, like you weren't thinking it? This is football, man. They hit each other. When big dudes hit each other, sometimes they get hurt. But, you know, most of them are willing to subject themselves to it because, um, well they're getting paid millions of dollars a year. So I don't think you can really fault Troy for saying something like that in the face of all the fines you've laid out this year for otherwise legal hits.

Is this because of Steely McBeam?

I don't get it.

And I mean, honestly, could we BE getting any more penalized? It's been like there are 53 Kemoeatus out there all false starting at once, the way we've been going. If you're trying to send a message, you've been heard. Loud AND clear. But could you knock it off, already? We're in the middle of a tight divisional race right now, and we'd also love to keep a foothold on the #2 playoff seed, if at all possible. So if you would kindly remove your collective foot from our ass, that'd be awesome.

Oh, and please tell Patriot fans to shut their filthy mass-pieholes about this? Enough already from this fanbase whose team recently admitted to illegally videotaping opponents for the last few years. I think Clark himself put it best - "One of my favorite players in the league is Rodney Harrison. I really find it funny that a team he’s on is acting this way."

Sort it out.

Sincerely,

- Anthony Smith

...Just kidding, it's me, Cotter. xoxoxoxoxo!
[END LETTER]

By the way, Clark's destruction of Wes Welker's manhood has gained him the following related searches on Google...

"Ryan Clark hit" - I can only hope that someday, my destruction of Wes Welker will also gain me some such related search.

Any thoughts on any of this idiocy?

8 comments:

domski43 said...

i'm very happy to hear that Ryan Clark was not fined. There just seems to be an inconsistancy in what is fined and what is not. Hopefully the NFL clears this up in the offseason.


Cotter, did you hear Wade Phillips gave the Cowboys the weekend off? Also dismissed some of the veterans (including T.O.) from practice yesterday to rest? What thinks you of dis?

Cotter said...

Hey, if Wade Phillips wants to give TO and friends time off to rest their vaginas, let him do it. If they don't wanna take this game seriously, that's on them.

Then again, maybe Tomlin should've given Ben the day off yesterday...what with his clumsy slip in the mud and all...franchise QB limping off practice field = no good.

Probably won't be a big deal but the last thing we need is for Ben to get injured in PRACTICE.

And yes I heard about it. I emailed you the link, jagoff. "Yes I made it home, Walter. YOU'RE CALLING ME AT HOME!"

matt said...

It's Domski, not Walter...duh!

domski43 said...

"what the f is the internet?!?"

Sorry i'm still figuring out this email thing. i was preoccupied watching the pens lose in a shootout to the rangers = gay

i got a rash man.

Vern said...

As someone pointed out to me, the NFL director of officiating said there was no penalty, yet he was glad that Hochuli threw a flag. It was a legal hit...yet he's glad that a flag was thrown. WTF?

tecmo said...

He was glad it was thrown because he wants the officails to err on the side of safety. In real time, he understands why the flag was thrown.

domski, how heartbreaking was that loss. Told my sister, I'm glad we're up 2, but the Pens suck with 2 goal leads. Almost went to the game, too

domski43 said...

the pens played a great game. f-ing rangers wanted a shootout = gay, play the game. crosby's assist was nasty.

dude, i want to go to a pens/rangers game @ madison square garden. i've never been there we should find a game and do it! gay bar afterward?

Mberenis said...

LETS GO PENS!! ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP LET THE OTHERS TEAMS DROP

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