December 2, 2008

Moments In Greatness, Starring Tony Romo...


Ok, that win on Sunday was pretty awesome. Many things to be happy about. We found our balls on Offense (PS - I'll bet Wes Welker's still looking for his), and our Defense showed everyone why they're number one. But now we're on to a new challenge with the Cowgirls riding into Pittsburgh on Sunday.

So I'm going to focus my efforts this morning on Dallas' little princess, Tony Romo. As I'm sure I don't need to tell you, this guy's had some tough times in the limelight. From his first snap to his well publicized relationship with Nick Lachey's sloppy seconds Jessica Simpson to his most recent pinky fiasco, the cameras have loved Tony and have reveled in his periodic and often untimely failures.

Therein lies the premise of this post. Rather than respectfully call out some of his better games, of which I'm sure there have been many, I thought I'd remember some of the REAL good times. You know, the times when he's looked utterly embarrassing. Though, I must say, I don't claim to be any kind of Tony Romo historian or anything. So take all this for what you will.

Alright, now the pretty pictures...

October 23, 2006 - The time our valiant hero trotted out onto the hallowed turf of Texas Stadium, to start the 2nd half for a struggling Drew Bledsoe against the Cowboys arch nemesis Giants, and on his very first play, fans screaming his name, sculptors probably already sculpting his bust for the Hall, he throws a pick! He'd finish with three on the day (in that one half).

CHAMPIONSHIP!

December 25, 2006 - The time that bitch Carrie Underwood roughed up his game, compelling him to throw two picks and go 14/29 for 142 yards and a QB rating of 45 (yes, I still consider this a garbage stat).

CHAMPIONSHIP!

December 31, 2006 - The time he threw two picks and fumbled four times en route to a 39-31 loss to DETROIT (yes, the Lions sucked then too).

CHAMPIONSHIP!

I believe this one is called, "The Brady Quinn" look. Nothing to do with any kind of game or anything, just looks funny.

Moving on...

January 6, 2007 - The time the Cowboys were poised to beat the Seacocks on a short field goal with one minute left in the NFC Wild Card game, and all he had to do was put the ball down straight for Martin Gramatica...but it was too much pressure for him to handle. So he fumbled the shit out of it. Jerry Jones felt, in a word, "empty."

CHAMPIONSHIP!

June 25, 2007 [or sometime thereafter] - The time that God damend Diet Pepsi Max commercial debuted. Matt can tell you all about this one...or to refresh your memories...

This garbage, or the Saved by Zero commercials? Kind of like asking if you prefer getting kicked in the balls to getting punched in the face? Either way, they both suck. CHAMPIONSHIP!

December 16, 2007 - The time that bitch Jessica Simpson made him throw three picks and fumble twice en route to a 10-6 loss to the Eagles. His QB rating that day? 22.

CHAMPIONSHIP!

January 13, 2008 - The time he lost in the divisional round of the playoffs, coming in as the #1 seed but having spent the prior week off in Mexico with his main squeeze, Jessica...ESPN tells me those Cowgirls were the first No. 1 seed in the NFC to lose in that round since the NFL went to the 12-team playoff format in 1990.

CHAMPIONSHIP!

By the way, that's TO's QUARTERBACK and they lost as a team, man!


October 12, 2008 - The infamous Pinky injury. Let that be a lesson to you, kids. There is such a thing as masturbating too much.

CHAMPIONSHIP!

Right, so now you guys can all yell at me for blatantly ignoring how good Tony Romo actually is...but, you know, I already know that. I hear he's a real good golfer, too. Just not as fun to talk about, nahmeen?

And speaking of moments in greatness...

Is he smiling???

5 comments:

ladi_izz said...

Everytime I see that picture from the Seahawks playoff game, I get Everybody Hurts stuck in my head. It still makes me laugh though.

Even though I dislike Jessica, at least Romo isn't with that stupid c she has for a sister.

Cotter said...

Haha, I always think of that song from American Idol...you know, the one they play when people get kicked off. That "Had a Bad Day" shit. Someone should really find all the embarrassing pictures of Tony Romo and make a montage with that song. I was going to do that when the Steelers let Clark Haggans go, but then I realized I just didn't care enough about Clark Haggans to put forth that much effort.

/ignores fact that just admitted to watching American Idol

shawnk said...

Great post.....

As a Steelers fan living in Texas (surrounded by Cowboys fans everywhere), I am hoping that Tony has more moments of 'greatness' this Sunday.

domski43 said...

my favorite is when romo botched the extra point hold.

cowboys have not won a playoff game since the last time the cards won one!

matt said...

man i love that commercial, don't know why? I just crack up...far laaaaaaaa