OFTOT's Steelers Gameday Liveblog...

T-minus 30 minutes and counting.

Are you ready for some politics football?

See you shortly!

[Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show - Week 9...

Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. Children of all ages. In the immortal words of a wise man some asshole from Dallas - Get your popcorn ready! Here it is in all it's glory...The [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show - Episode 8.

It's a little longer this week, because for some unknown reason we tried to get serious and keep our A.D.D. to a minimum. But we think it's better, nonetheless. This week we covered - Willie Parker's life, Sansmokio's Excellent Adventure, Aaron Smith's beastliness, Anthony Smith's bitchiness, and of course, pulled Predictions completely out of our respective asses.

And as for the Outtake Reel, well, that's pretty much business as usual. This also appears to be a hair longer than normal, but that's because we interspersed clips of us playing 007 for N64. So keep your eyes peeled for that. Oh, and if anyone knows what the name of Uncle Joey's puppet was on Full House, please let us know.

We sincerely hope you enjoy!


Bonus footage - here's us discussing the current state of the NHL...


One more time at PSaMP for good measure?

Congratulations Polamalus!

Ah yes, the rare weekend post. It comes but once every few weeks when something important happens. Today, it is to congratulate Troy and Theodora Polamalu on the birth of their 1^st little Tasmanian devil.

They had a healthy baby boy yesterday, which means Troy will definitely be on the field in Washington on Monday night. Which is nice, but had he missed the game to be with his wife while she was giving birth, I mean, I guess we would've all understood.

No word on what they're naming the child yet. But if I may offer a suggestion - I think Dick Lebeau Polamalu has a nice ring to it. Also no word on whether the kid came out sporting a full head of hair. But the smart money's on him traversing the birth canal only to emerge with a fully grown out afro.

Congratulations Troy! Now, you better shave that beard. Kids don't like that shit. When I was a baby, I hated my Dad's beard so much that my Mom made him shave it off. We Cotter men are strong in the face of those with the double X chromosomes.

OFTOT Week In Review - Week 9...

Halloween. I peaked at that shit about three years ago when I donned the costume you see above. This was basically the best Halloween costume I ever had (that's Cotter on the left there). In case you've never seen the best movie know to man, I was The Dude from none other than The Big Lebowski. I've had a couple of decent Halloweens since. But I've never quite been able to recreate the magic above...although the following year I was K-Fed, and my chinstrap facial hair (drawn carefully by Domski in eyeliner pencil) was a pretty big hit.

This year, I didn't dress up. I didn't go out. Hell, I didn't even really leave my couch. But apparently I'm scary enough sans-costume. Because while I was walking my dog, I was offered candy as if I were a trick-or-treater like the rest. Shocker!

But I hope all you guys enjoyed dressing up like Batman, the Joker, and various ridiculous concept costumes like a Chick Magnet, and you girls enjoyed dressing up like a slutty nurse, a slutty cop and the various phases of Britney Spears ("slutty" qualifier is implied). I sure enjoyed watching all the crazy assholes here in NYC/Hoboken parading themselves around like it was a God damn fashion show. I particularly enjoyed the two chicks who dressed like Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Here's a tip ladies - any costume that involves you wearing no pants is A-OK in my book. In fact, I hear that it's Halloween in my apartment right now. So feel free to drop by [emoticon winking].

As for OFTOT, this week we covered a wide range of topics with the least amount of sophistication possible. Those topics included...

1. [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show - still Unnamed, still full of stupid antics...

2. Man, losing sucks worse than Tommy Maddox...

3. I gave the Ravens a lot of shit this week...

4. We opined about how Sansmokio's presence might or might not have helped the Steelers last Sunday...

5. I still <3 Randle El...

6. As of Wednesday, I still wasn't over Sunday...

7. Momma Cotter made an astute observation...

8. I ranted in a Jim Zorn-esque fashion...

9. I still think this post is worth reading solely for the image of Terrell Suggs as a man-horse (And yes, I am aware that the correct term is "centaur." But what sounds funnier? Centaur? Or "Man-Horse?" That's what I'm sayin')...

10. We made some new friends and got to know our old friends even better...

11. Who knows what this was all about? Certainly not me...and I wrote it...

And thus wraps up Week 9 of the NFL season here at OFTOT. Keeping with tradition, there'll be a brand spanking new [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show for you all tomorrow afternoon (hopefully around Noon). Then, Monday, I shall try my hand at Liveblogging. This should be worth dropping by for simply to watch me make such insightful comments as "Man, Tomlin's 'fro is looking sick tonight. I predict a big win" and "Dude, that sucked." Even I'm interested to see how it'll go.

Until then, enjoy your respective weekends and throw a few back for my nerdy ass. I'll be reading some boring shit about Legislation and Regulation. Party on.

Oh, and lest I forget, for you music lovers, here are the Riffs...

1. Flashlight - Parliament
2. Rappers Delight - Sugarhill Gang
3. Circles - Soul Coughing
4. Gimme Some Mo' - Busta Rhymes
5. Me & My Friends - Red Hot Chili Peppers

And the bonus selections (because I couldn't pick just one)...
Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix
Red House - Jimi Hendrix

Listen, I'm Injured, You're Injured...

Alright, well clearly I'm all about tardiness today. I'm really living the mantra - fashionably late. Things happen. I work. At a real job. Where they actually pay me (sort of). That ironically requires more of my attention on a Friday than on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. But hey, whatever. Shit's rough nowadays, right?

Anyways, we've got this game against the Washington Redskins on Monday Night, in Washington. As of now, I'm not sure if Willie Parker is going to play, but we will have Santonio back. So that's encouraging. Ben's shoulder is still sore (like Najeh Davenport's ass is from sitting on the bench for the last few weeks). But he's surviving. Marvel Smith has some lingering back issues. Spasms or something fun like that. Big Snack and The Wood didn't practice yesterday, for the second day in a row. Which is also encouraging...not. Mitch Berger's plan was to punt some today in practice and decide how he feels about Monday. You'll remember, he's got an ongoing struggle with being an old bag of bones.

As for these 'Skins, stopping Clinton Portis is no small task. That dude is far and away the league's leading rusher with a disgusting 944 yards and it's only Week 9. Of course, the 'Skins haven't had their bye yet. So he's had more chances. But still, the next closest to him is Purple Jesus with 684. Oh, and he's tied for 3rd in touchdowns behind that fat sloppy mess Lendale White (/owns Chris Johnson in fantasy), the Eagles Offense...I mean Brian Westbrook, and that first round bust Reggie Bush. So while I'm sure our Defense is up to it, it certainly isn't going to be as easy as stopping Kenny Watson or even Jamal Lewis.

Beyond that, I think the 'Skins receivers are containable. Jason Campbell's been solid so far this season, but their tallest targets that aren't a Tight End or injured are the underwhelming rookie Devin Thomas at 6'2," and the fear inducing James Thrash at 6'0," neither of whom are starters. Of course, Randle El and Santana Moss are quick and shifty. But will Face Me Ike and Deshea be able to handle them? I think so.

What we've also got in our Corner are injuries. Not ours, we already talked about that. I'm talking about the 'Skins. Here's a list of ailments the 'Skins are currently experiencing...

Pete Kendall (knees/Alan Faneca envy)
Jason Taylor (calf/old man's penis)
LaRon Landry (hamstring/being too hardcore)
Rock Cartwright (knee/invisibility disease)
Clinton Portis (hip and ankle)
Ladell Betts (knee)
Santana Moss (hamstring/dwarfism)
Malcolm Kelly (knee/sucking at his job)
Carlos Rogers (ankle)
Shawn Springs (calf/Todd Heap and/or Donte Stallworth syndrome)
Cornelius Griffin (shoulder/being named Cornelius)
Chris Samuels (knee/31 years of gravitational stress)

And who knows what other kinds of bumps and bruises are lurking, heretofore unnoticed.

So listen up, Steelers. We don't like to lose. And I'm sure you don't either. Especially not to the NFC East, and especially given the nature of our previous losses to the Eagles and Giants. So quit jaggin' around and bring your balls on Monday (Offense, I'm looking at you). You're gonna need 'em. Oh, and if someone could supply Willie Colon with a pair that'd be cool. Matthias Kiwanuka took his from him last Sunday along with his dignity. Your help in the matter will be much appreciated. Thanks.

That's all I got for now.

Any thoughts?

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

I could never be Asian, man. All that rice. That shit is filling. I'm still amazed at the fact that I eat like 10-15 pieces of sushi rolls and a salad and I'm full. I mean, that's such a small quantity of food if you think about it. A couple of pieces of fish in there, some veggies, rice, seaweed. Not like it's a 24 ounce steak or anything.

Anyways, not that it has any bearing on the Ravens Rice. Ray, that is.

I've been ripping on the Ravens all week. But the truth is, I like Ray Rice. I'm not sure if he's the right guy to be splitting carries with Willis McGahee. But I guess when you throw La'ron McClain in there, it works. And really, that's the extent of what I got on this one. Damn, Fridays are a rough day to find headlines I can make fun of.

Well, not that rough...

So I have to assume this means Ocho Cinco is supporting Obama in Tuesday's election? If I'm correct, and that's the case, then does he really want to be waving an Obama banner as a TD celebration?

See, I think what I'm questioning is - would that HELP Obama or HURT him? I mean, let's face it, Chad Johnson isn't nearly as well liked as say, Bruce Springsteen, who heavily supported Kerry in '04. Frankly, if I'm Obama and I catch wind of this, I'm giving Chad Johnson a call and respectfully asking him never to mention my name. Ever. In public or private. And certainly not in a context that would imply any relationship whatsoever.

Then again, if I'm Obama, I've had my fair share of potentially campaign-detrimental relationships come to light. So I'm sure I'd be well equipped to handle that one. Either way, that doesn't change the fact that Chad Johnson is a severe douche.

Try not to alienate your supporters while reading these links...

More on Big Ben's weekly poundings...got any other stories, AP? [AP]

Vintage Pitt football footage [PSaMP]

Yeah, Jason Campbell IS a pretty good QB [Post-Gazette]

Bruce Arians speaks [SteelCityInsider]

Sean will surpass the 100,000 visitor mark today! Try and be the 100,000th visitor and/or send all congrats to... [Sean's Ramblings]

Yeah, that kid at the Cincy-South Florida game last night > all of us...I wish I got to meet Erin Andrews...by the way, Erin, call me (emoticon winking) [The Sports Hernia]

Meeting People Is Easy...

Hmmm, I'm a little late this morning with MPIE. I had to cut it off last night at 1AM so as not to fall asleep amid typing with my laptop on my lap and my ass firmly entrenched on my couch. But better late than never, right? At least that's what she said (had enough of this yet?)

Anyways, I pretty much had the coolest experience of my life last night. And no, unfortunately I did not have a sexual encounter with Scarlet Johannsen or Megan Fox (not outside of my dreams, that is). But it was pretty damn cool nonetheless. I can't say anything about it right now, but that it involves this blog...That oughta make it abundantly clear for you...yeah.

Anyways, Friday. Meeting People Is Easy. After work beverage. A little Halloween action. All of these things are true of today. And given the amateurness of this post, hopefully the editorial content here at OFTOT will get better also.

As usual, I've assembled a crack team to tackle this week's toughest football questions...and that panel includes...

1. John Woods (NYT The Fifth Down) ~ He who worships at the altar of the sand knit Bubby Brister jersey...

2. Sean Leahy (Going Five Hole/Puck Daddy) ~ What a coincidence, I'll be wearing assless chaps for Halloween too...

3. The Sports Hernia (The Sports Hernia) ~ I'll be joining the crusade against this kind of douchebaggery...

4. Neal Coolong ~ Formerly of Die Hard Steel and On The Black Side, now the newest addition over at Behind The Steel Curtain...

5. Noah ~ His dog and Cotter's dog share some common breeding...

6. Shawn ~ This shall be his coming out party...in the sense that it's his first time on MPIE, of course...

7. LJKC ~ I said I would love to hear a full recap of her adventures with New Kids on the Block, and would you look at that, here it is...ish...

8. Matt ~ About five minutes quicker on the e-mail draw than LJKC...

9. Sheena Beaston ~ I believe you're familiar with this joker...no introduction necessary...

10. Domski ~ See Sheena Beaston...

11. Me ~ I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to be a full 10 hours of sleep for Halloween...

So here's the idiocy we came up with below. As usual, click to enlarge...


Catch you guys on the flipside...errr at Noon for the AFC North Headline of the day. Either way. I'm just gonna go fall asleep in the shower now. Should be a good time.

Comments welcome. Hell, feel free to answer this week's questions for yourself in the comments. The more the merrier...that's what she said. And on that note...

Can't They Just Both Lose?

Ravens vs. Browns. Baltimore vs. Cleveland. Man-horse vs. Clown? Could there BE a more fun matchup? That's like watching N'Sync vs. The Backstreet Boys. You hate them both. But yet, you kind of want to see who pulls whose hair harder. Or maybe that's just me...

Anyways, the "red-hot" Ravens play the "burgeoning" Browns this weekend in a matchup that could even things between the two teams within the AFC North. If the Browns win, they'll be 4-4 with division wins over Cincy and Balti. If the Ravens win, they'll be 5-3, with a scorching case of herpes (read: Terrell Suggs)...I mean division wins over the Browns and Bengals. If the Ravens LOSE, however, they become 4-4 and in a tie with the Gowns for second fiddle to Pittsburgh.

Domski has told me in an offline communication that he thinks the Browns are going to ride Shaun Rogers to victory! Or maybe it was that he wanted a Shaun Rogers ride. Either way, I'm not sure which team I'd rather see win. It's kind of like asking whether I'd like a Trojan War Helmet or a Rusty Trombone.

I guess for the sake of our standing within the division I want the Clowns to win. But rooting for the Frowns is going to be tough. Like most Steelers fans, I'd rather contract the avian flu than root for anything from Cleveland. But since this is an extenuating circumstance, I'll stomach it. Plus, I wouldn't mind watching Jamal Lewis plow Ray Lewis, Bart Scott, and/or Terrell Suggs. That or Derek Anderson light up the Ravens secondary like a Christmas Tree (mostly Ed Reed).

So, but the million dollar question is - Who do YOU think will win this one? Cleveland or Baltimore? Or N'Sync? Smart money's on JC Chasez.

Let's have at it.

Jim Zorn Ain't Got Nothing On This Guy...

High up on the list of "most unattractive pictures I've ever taken"

When I began to write this post, I didn't intend for it to become a rant reminiscent of Jim Zorn's press conference this past weekend. And yet, fittingly, that's kind of what it became.

Try not be deterred by my forcefulness. It's just that sometimes I read things that get me real fired up. As fired up as I get when I watch that Guitar Hero commercial with A-Rod, Kobe, Tony Hawk, and Michael EFFING Phelps. Seriously, how is Michael Phelps on the same level as Tony Hawk? I mean, I understand that it's a commercial for a video game where you play pop rock favorites on plastic instruments. But, really? 8 gold medals. Fan-effing-tastic. How about the three other guys in that commercial have an upwards of 10 years each dominating their respective sports (well, not really gAy-Rod). Not to mention the shit just sucks. Oh, you've got four sports figures looking like Tom Cruise in Risky Business? Isn't that real God damn clever. Well shit, I'm gonna go run right out and buy that game for $100(?). Does it come with A-Rod in his skivvies? ME-OW.

Errrr...moving on to that rant I mentioned...

Oh God, the big bad NFC East is beating up on the poor little Steelers and their poor QB, Big Ben. Honestly, Associated Press? This is a story? Because the Eagles sacked Ben nine times en route to a nine point victory and the Giants sacked Ben five times en route to a seven point victory, all of a sudden the Steelers have the insurmountable task of beating their NFC East brethren, the Washington Redskins...who will be without two starting D-Lineman and a starting Corner? Um, forgive me if I'm not pissing myself in fear. Come the eff on, man. First of all, they lost to the Rams. At home. One week after the Rams fired their previous Coach. Powerhouse, indeed. But let's table that discussion for now.

This report says...

"Just as worrisome for the Steelers is that playing every team in the NFL’s best division is taking a physical toll, too."

Ok, dude. Playing EVERY team in EVERY division can take a physical toll. Frankly, I'm not exactly ready to single out the NFC East as the division that's going to muscle the Steelers right out of playoff contention. Give me a break. To my mind, we just played the best team that division has to offer anyhow.

Dallas is a bunch of cry babies who were only winning because they were playing inferior teams. Tony Romo is a little bitch who will crumble the minute James Harrison so much as breathes on him. And T.O.? Don't even get me started. That dude better get HIS popcorn ready. Because the hurtin' the Steelers are going to put on the Cowboys is going to be one for the record books. I just have a feeling. Big D? Let's see, does that D stand for divas, dickbags or douchebags? I know it doesn't stand for Defense. Oh, and they lost to the Rams at home too.

As for Washington? Putting aside the fact that, in reality, I respect them greatly, their average margin of victory this year is approximately five. FIVE God damn points. Now, we certainly haven't been blowing our respectable opponents away, but 3 out of their six wins have been decided by five points or less. PLUS, they haven't even had their bye week yet. And oh yeah, THEY LOST TO THE RAMS! AT HOME!

And another thing - the report intimates that because guys like Willie Parker, Casey Hampton and Ryan Clark were injured during games against the NFC East this automatically means that those teams were so physical against us that we might as well have employed an entire floor's worth of hospital staff. Eff that! Willie Parker broke his God damn leg not even a year ago! And Casey Hampton? Turf toe, dude. Turf toe. It's not like he's sucking bananas, peas and carrots through a straw. Ryan Clark? Do I even need to explain this one? The guy has no effing spleen for Christ's sake! So again, FAIL!

How about this - the NFC East is having such great success against the Steelers because they've been exploiting a weakness so glaringly obvious that my Mom, who knows nothing of this foosball game we're always talking about, knows about it. WE SUCK AT PASS BLOCKING! DUH! This isn't the cure for cancer, here. You blitz our line, you start racking up the sacks. Particularly on the right side. Willie Colon? Yeah, he gave up at least three sacks to the Eagles and most recently, three sacks to Matthias Kiwanuka, who subsequently won the NFL's Defensive Player of the Week award. So out of the 14 sacks registered between our two previous NFC East opponents, almost HALF came from Willie Colon (and I'm only counting sacks registered by the Right Defensive End...not even linebackers).

Bottom line - the success of the Eagles and Giants came principally from their ability to play patty cake with Big Ben. If the line decides to block and Ben decides to make good decisions with the football, I see no reason why recent history should dictate the outcome in this one. That's why they play the games. Am I wrong?

Either way, Associated Press, your story sucks! And I have nothing else to say in the matter.

/end rant

I Have Received A Message...

A message from my Mom, in case the image hadn't tipped you off. And it's regarding the Steelers performance on Sunday.

She's pretty much good for at least one of these a season. I'm not sure how many of you were around for last year's gem, but it was a voicemail after (actually, during) the Patriot's game in which she forcefully and astutely proclaimed...

Of course, that was infinitely better than this year's email, as you'll see. But in both instances, she's dead on.

Here was the first three lines of the email that hit my inbox at approximately 12:48 PM this afternoon...

Yeah, she's not kidding! You know it's bad when even your Mom points out one of the Steelers' fatal flaws!

I mentioned it in the Headline of the Day. But should we be more worried about Ben's shoulder given our pass blocking ineptitude? At this rate, how long can we expect him to stay healthy? And is this way too easy a question to answer?

ALSO - If anyone who has yet to be part of Meeting People Is Easy would like to be on this week's panel, feel free to drop me a line - onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com. I'd love to get some new faces involved. Not that I don't enjoy the old faces. I enjoy those faces very much. But for the OFTOT "community's" edification, I'd like to expand our virtual social network...if you will. That's onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com. If you don't e-mail me, I'll be forced to ask Domski to do it again. And let's face it, that's no good for anybody...

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

So I really want to laugh at this and take great pleasure in the Bengals pain. But frankly, at 0-8, they're pretty much irrelevant. Sure, I take plenty of pleasure in the fact that Carson Palmer isn't playing and probably won't for the remainder of the year, thus also not being discussed as one of the "elite" QBs in the league. But as a team, overall, do I care about them? Not today, at least. Maybe on November 20th. But no, not now when the Ravens and Browns both won last weekend and we lost.

Seriously though, the Bengals brass really oughta take a good look at that team in the offseason and figure out what they're trying to do. With Carson Palmer back, that Offense is really only a few pieces short. But the Defense...what Defense? Who's the star on that side of the ball? Leon Hall? I don't even know. They let Justin Smith go in free agency. And they cut Deltha O'Neal. I mean, do they even want to win? Ever? Earth to Mike Brown - you're bringing the proverbial knife to a gun fight. It's about as easy to win without playing defense as it is to keep Britney Spears sober for more than two days. You should probably sort that out. Your defense, not Britney. I'm on that one.

But what I really want to know is, will these guys be the first team since the '76 Buccaneers to go winless? One way or the other, it's pretty sad that I even just wrote that. Yikes.

Good thing with these links below, we all win...

Hmm, suitor #5 looks awful familiar... [Zamboni Harmony]

Cowher to Dallas? Sounds about as likely as Cowher to Oakland [SbB]

Notice the small reference to Ben's shoulder still hurting...perhaps it's time we start protecting our QB, O-Line [ESPN]

Big Ben tells KDKA that Sid is the bigger star in the 'Burgh [KDKA]

Speaking of, the Pens may be injured as well...Max Talbot? [PSaMP]

Ratings for Game 5 of the World Series sucked. Wow, shocker. It was flooded out and there was a big matchup between the Colts and Titans on at the same time? Do the math [AP]

Yeah, I've Got Some Questions, Man...

Unexplainable. This image defies explanation.

Ok, you know what? I was thinking about this, and I'm NOT over Sunday yet. I mean, so much happened to go against us in that game, and yet we were still in it until a little less than 3:00 left! Sure, the Giants knocked Ben down on almost half of his drop backs, but that's no different than any other game. So what the hell?

Honestly, how did the Offense go from hot to cold THAT much quicker than my ex-girlfriend? Did we think we were going to fool them into thinking they should respect Limas Sweed? And for Christ's sake, why is it that every time I order something with "NO ONIONS" I still end up picking a pound and a half of onion out of my dinner? What if I was allergic, man? I smell tortious conduct...

Anyways, tangent. But really, what the hell was that? Four picks? FOUR? I know one wasn't really Ben's fault, but Jebus! And come on, how often do your Punter and Long Snapper go down in the SAME GAME?!?! How is it possible that all this ridiculous shit happened in one game and yet, until about half way through the 4th quarter we were still winning?

So I think it's safe to say we've still got some lingering questions in ol' duders head. Actually, there's the whole list of 'em...which I've neatly compiled for you below. Feel free to peruse them at your leisure and I'd love to hear your answers on the other side.

1. Why did it seem like no one was getting open?
2. What the hell is wrong with Willie Colon's brain?
3. Have you ever seen Mike Tomlin that fired up for a game?
4. What do you suppose Brandon Jacobs was thinking when he got stopped cold on 4th down?
5. What is all this shit about Vietnam?
6. Not ONE sack? Really?
7. Keisel looked diesel, right?
8. What, is Heath Miller hanging out with Max Starks too much? Throw him the ball a couple more times, maybe?
9. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with Willie Colon's brain?
10. Limas Sweed only got thrown to like four times. How did he manage to fumble?
11. Tell me how we gave up more yards to Derrick Ward than Brandon Jacobs?
12. How awesome is Nate Washington's flat top fade?
13. Willie Gay was a pleasant surprise, wasn't he?
14. What would Brady Quinn do?
15. Since when does Ben have a problem scoring one TD in 3 minutes to tie up a ball game?

So am I alone in all this? Am I taking crazy pills? Was that one too many movie references for today?

Either way, a few administrative things. Number one, check out how hot Justin Hartwig's date/girlfriend/wife was at Steelers Style 2008...


And number two, check out how seriously Jeff Reed took this event...

The T-Shirt tuxedo-esque shirt with tie? Classy move, Jeff. I hope you had some Natural Lights backstage to complement that mess. Actually, I might make that my Halloween costume. What's scarier than Jeff Reed in "formal" attire? I can't think of anything.

Things Cotter Knows Nothing About...

High up on the list - Country Music.

I'm not gonna lie to you, I know next to nothing about it. I grew up on hip-hop, classic rock, punk, funk, and just about everything that wasn't country. Which, as a native Pennsylvanian, I understand is akin to saying I've never been part of a sports-induced riot or been to a High School keg party in the woods. But, it is the truth, nonetheless.

I don't have anything against it. But the closest I've ever come to listening to country was visiting my Texas born and raised cousins, who introduced me to a guy named Billy Ray Cyrus and his hit (at the time), "Achy Breaky Heart." Oh, and of course Hank Williams Jr.'s legendary Monday Night Football theme, which I'm sure someone is going to point out to me is derived from some other Hank Williams Jr. song that I don't even know about. So yeah, if all this isn't enough evidence that I'm pretty clueless when it comes to country, I don't know what is.

But I gotta admit, I kind of like this "Holler Back" song by the country band, The Lost Trailers.

Ok, Cotter, so effing what? What does you liking some Country song have to do with the Steelers?

Well, it just so happens that these dudes have recorded this song in 56 different versions, customized for fans of every NFL team and a few select College teams as well, which of course, includes the Steelers. I think this is an awesome idea. Cheesy, yes. But hey, I give them a lot of credit for thinking of it.

Perhaps I'm biased, because as a Steelers fan, I'm used to hearing songs about my team. But come on, who can't enjoy a bunch of white dudes in cowboy hats singing a song called, "Holler Back" (well, one dude anyway). That's "Holler," mind you. Not "Holla," as I understand they pronounce it "on the streets." I mean...I'm so hood. I'm so hood, that in fact, I'm up on all the street vernacular. That's right, I'm privy to the new shit.

Yeah.

Anyways, feel free to check "Holler Back" out via this link. And tell 'em One For The Other Thumb sent you (unless, of course, you DON'T want someone looking at you like you're Michael Jackson batshit crazy).

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Ok, so first of all - that's what she said.

Second of all, Cam Cameron, the supposed "Offensive Genius" (remember another Ravens so-called "Offensive Genius?") is now taking game planning tips from the man who calls himself T-Sizzle? That's interesting.

So let me see if I understand this correctly.

Cam Cameron is consulting Terrell Suggs because...
A. As a LB, he has plenty of experience game planning for the Offense
B. As a Raven from '03-'07 he saw many successful offensive game plans
C. As a person, he's super smart (see: recent talk show appearance)

Then again, the Ravens are averaging 19 points a game. Maybe Bruce Arians should take a tip from ol' Cam Cameron and solicit some input from Silverback. Just not about snapping the ball on punts, though.

On second thought, nevermind. We're averaging 22 points a game. I guess I just thought it would be a humorous editorial device. So sue me.

I urge you all to solicit input from these links...

Mitch Berger's potential replacement? Ricky Schmitt. Yep, your guess is as good as mine [Post-Gazette]

Seriously, what happened to the Big Ben rollout? [PSaMP]

HFSS and Wrap Around Curl out to help us dateless hockey fans [Hockey, Football & Stiletto Shoes]

Jason Taylor AND Shawn Springs out for Monday! [WaPo]

This makes me miss the freshman riots when PSU lost to Temple in basketball...I heart PSU riots [Deadspin]

So Daunte Culpepper cancelled his workout with the Chiefs citing a "better opportunity." That opportunity? Apparently a workout with the Lions. Ouch, Kansas City [MLive]

LJKC went where no man/woman has gone since 1991 - a New Kids concert. I'd love a full report [Superhero]

EL YEAH, It's Tuesday!

First things first, this morning. Yes, I'm fully aware of the story about Keisel reading Eli Manning's lips, and I think that's just fabulous. Real nice work, Brett. We should've known you had special talents like lip reading. After all, you did go to that crazy Mormon school.

Anyways, with the Steelers heading to our nation's capital next week, only one thing comes to mind for me - Antwaan Randle El. I love that little dude. I was so upset when he left for DC. I mean, I know it's hard to turn down $31 million to stay and serve as Pittsburgh's #3 receiver for the relative equivalent of a bag of balls, but I guess I thought maybe hometown discount? What? No good?

Oh well, we had to part ways.

But that doesn't mean I don't still love the guy. Because I do. Imagine him in there returning kicks this year. Imagine him in there throwing trick play bombs to Hines Ward. Imagine him being super effing tiny.

I used to hate his West to East punt return style. I used to scream at the TV screen like it was Poltergeist and throw every four letter word I knew at him for losing 5 yards after spending 35 seconds running laterally. I called him a dunce. I told him he should be more like Hank Poteat (no I didn't). But in the end, I did it all out of love.

Daniel Snyder, you rich asshole. Screw you for paying him approximately 800 times what any other team would offer. Thanks for leaving us with Cedrick effing Wilson. You're a real dick, man. Not only that, but you look ridiculous. You look like a fatter version of this kid that used to live next to me in elementary school. That kid was a dork. You must be one too [says the pot to the kettle].

I'd also like to applaud the REDSKINS for holding their own in a sea of politically correctness (political correctivity?). You go, Nation's capital. Ethnic sensitivities? We'll have none of this here in America. Way to set an example for the rest of our proud American cities. I guess we should've all known you were crazy when your Mayor was found with Crack, did 6 months in prison for it and still got re-elected. Hey, what do you know? There's hope for me yet.

Ah, but I digress.

I've got a few friends who are members of Redskin Nation, all of whom are some of the coolest dudes I've ever met. And every other day but this coming Monday, I'd happily root for the 'Skins. I mean, they play in a division with the Eagles, vaGiants and Cowgirls. How could you not like them if they mean nothing to your team's success or failure? But unfortunately, we're playing them on Monday. So while I may love the many personalities of Clinton Portis, I have to vehemently hate them for at least one night.

Now, we're still early in the week, here. I don't wanna get too far ahead of myself, talking about game previews and stuff. But...let me just say that this is a very winnable game. Look at what happened a couple of weeks ago. The RAMS(!) went into Fed Ex Field and beat the 'Skins. Surely if that can happen, Ike Taylor can finally catch an interception...I mean, the Steelers can beat the Redskins.

Anybody else miss Randle El's life?

Who's Up For Some Speculation?

Question.

Would the Steelers have had any more success yesterday if Santonio had played?

Let's discuss...

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Here's a first - one of OUR headlines as headline of the day. As you can imagine, this one's only here because...well, what?

Ok Gregg Doyel, the Giants "beat the living snot out of" the Steelers? Um, if my memory serves me correctly, the Steelers Defense kept them in the game by stoning Brandon Jacobs at every turn. I mean, sure their Defense sacked Big Ben five times. But I hardly think that the game was so one-sided as to say that the Giants "beat the living snot out of" the Steelers.

See, his premise is that because Big Ben was knocked down on 16 of his 34 dropbacks, and that Greg Warren, Ryan Clark and Mitch Berger (I think we can safely say this one was a stretch) ended up injured by the end, this means that the Giants beat the Steelers around yesterday.

I'm sorry, maybe it's my homerism kicking in (or perhaps I've channeled Browns fans delusion), but I thought that game was hard fought by both teams, at least on the Defensive side of the ball. It was a fight to the end. And frankly, you can't use the Punter and Long Snapper getting injured as a measuring stick for how badly a team gets beat physically.

Gregg Doyel, you should probably think before you type...because in addition to your premise sucking, James Harrison is a Linebacker, not a Defensive End. Nice try, though. FAIL!

Good thing these links have not FAILed...

Sound assessment from Tec [PSaMP]

Money observation by Sean - screw the Toyota "saved by zero" commercial...Domski was singing it all game...ouch, my head hurts [Sean's Ramblings]

Hahahaha...Best. Headline. Ever. [Ape @ Shutdown Corner]

Doug finally gives in and rants about the Steelers [Dug E. Fresh Rants]

Am I the only one who enjoyed Mike Singletary's post game rant? [BallHype]

Wow, What A GIANT Mess...

It was a crisp afternoon in late October. The grass stood at attention in anticipation of what was billed as a potential Super Bowl preview. The Steelers came out of the corner swinging, shutting the Giants first drive down in just three plays. Then, they followed it up with a 4 play, 60 yard, TD scoring drive, sending what most of us fans thought was a message that this team was the real deal. That even with all of the injuries and other miscellaneous setbacks, they could thoroughly dominate the defending Super Bowl champs, a team that was on everyone's short list for Tampa in early February...

Going into the half, the Steelers trailed by just two points, despite the fact that they had turned the ball over in their own territory and allowed a semi-long punt return...both of which put the Giants well within striking range of the end zone. En route to the half way mark, they had made a courageous goal line stand on a 4th down run by 265 pounds of Brandon Jacobs torque. The defense looked strong, allowing just those three field goals despite the Giants having held the ball for just about 75% of the first half. It felt ok. It felt winnable. It felt like we were on the verge of an Offensive explosion.

They came out in the 2nd half and on the 2nd drive, Big Ben hit Nate Washington with a 65 yard bomb. One play, one score. And just like that, we were in control of the game, 14-9. From there, we struggled on Offense but were able to hold our lead going into the 4th quarter, having only allowed the Giants to gain 8 yards in the whole 3rd Quarter. And even though we didn't have much going in the way of Offense, we still felt confident.

But it proved to be all downhill from there. In the 4th Quarter, the Giants scored 12 unanswered points. The Steelers? Well, they snapped the ball out of the back of the end zone for a costly safety, and let the Giants walk 53 yards in 7 plays, culminating in the go-ahead TD with just three minutes left in the game. Then, with a chance to tie it up, Ben threw a pick on a deep pass intended for Limas Sweed, planting the final dagger in our hearts.

Yeah. That sucked. For the first time, I think I'm wishing I was writing the words - "Well, it wasn't pretty. But a win is a win." I am, however, NOT saying those words.

The story of this one, in a nutshell?
#1 - Turnovers. We committed four, they committed none.
#2 - Sacks. We got none, they got FIVE.
#3 - Offense FAIL!

For some reason, I'm just not feeling that funny this morning. Let's just go straight to the recap...

Things That Were Awesome...
1. Big Ben, 65 yds to the pride of Tiffin University, Mr. Nate Washington
2. Mewelde Moore's 35 yd TD run that put the first 7 on the board
3. Watching Plaxico Burress sit on the sidelines for the entire 1st quarter
4. GOAL LINE STAND!
5. Holding Brand Jacobs to just 47 yards

Things That Were NOT Awesome...
1. Mewelde Moore getting bent in half by Giants Corner, Aaron Ross (Kenny Phillips?)
2. This doesn't look like much fun either...

3. Chris Kemoeatu - Unnecessary Roughness, 15 yards
4. Willie Colon - Holding, nullifying a potential 53 yd TD
5. The New Jersey Turnpike

Things The Browns Would've Done...
1.
2. Big Ben - 45% comp. pct., 189 yards, 4 INTs
3. Mitch Berger's old ass leg getting injured
4. This guy...

5. Ryan Clark on the sidelines, sporting a sling

Oh, and another thing the Browns would've done...BEAT THE GIANTS! Because they eff'ing DID! We, on the other hand, did not. And whilst we were watching an awful 4th quarter Giants comeback, Cleveland had just beaten the Jaguars to move to 3-4. Earlier in the day, the Ravens had beaten the hapless Raiders, 29-10, to move to 4-3.

So as of this morning, with nine games left, the division looks like this...
1. Steelers (5-2)
2. Ravens (4-3)
3. Browns Gowns (3-4)
4. Bengals (0-10000)

One week from today we've got the 6-2 Redskins.

Boy, it was fun beating up on Cincinnati, wasn't it?

Thoughts, anyone?