October 23, 2008

AFC North Headline Of The Day...


Terrell Suggs is an asshole. What else do you want me to say? He's running his mouth all around about how the Ravens've got some "bounty" on Hines Ward's head. Idiot.

First of all, if you're going to have a bounty, you can't talk about it. That's like rule #1 of a bounty - Don't talk about the bounty.

Second of all, no. You are stupid. This is the dumbest thing you've probably ever done. Also, your gums look like they're eating your teeth. Mr. Ed called, he wants his jaws back.

Third of all, your nickname...sucks. T-Sizzle? God, I hope you didn't strain yourself brainstorming that one. Oh, I get it. It's functional and also cool sounding. Two things in one. Fantastic. The man-horse from the Old Spice commercial would be real proud of you. Who gives a shit?

Terrell Suggs, shut up, dude. Fact is, you're probably scared that Hines Ward is gonna cold cock you like the little bitch you are. Admit it, you like Appletinis.

Have an Appletini yourself while reading these links...

This guy would still take Eli over Big Ben? Maybe that's why I've never heard of him [Fox Sports]

This guy needs to knock it off [PSAMP]

NFL launches "investigation" of Ravens [Post-Gazette]

Quoth Troy - "As a matter of fact, they were going to take pictures on how a perfect brain looks..." [Trib]

Ditka defends Hines, says NFL should remove face masks. I love Ditka [Post-Gazette]

"Anything I (expletive) want to do." You stay classy, Plax [SteelCityInsider]

4 comments:

tecmo said...

Also, your gums look like they're eating your teeth.

Two things in one. Fantastic. The man-horse from the Old Spice commercial would be real proud of you.

+1. Or 2. I'm nearly crying

Mark said...

Besides reading that the Ian guy was a best-seller for his golf book (which is an odd byline for a football article), I just looked at his Sept 4th article "Manning's vanilla, but he'll last". Particularly Ian's comments about the QB he would rank higher than Big Ben:

'Manning? For the most part, he was the Eli of the 2007 regular season, his struggles – and his team’s 3-5 record at home – largely forgotten by a playoff run punctuated by the greatest triumph in NFL history, the victory over the 18-0 Patriots.'

The gay bar tender said...

yum!!! appletinis are my favorite

funniest post evAr! (great rant)

random asshole said...

Terrell Suggs is an asshole.

Please don't associate me with Terrell Suggs. I find that personally insulting.