October 20, 2008

We Really Couldn't Have Asked for Much Moore...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that picture has very little to do with what happened in Cincinnati yesterday. It is, however, fun for me to look at. And frankly, that's enough.
Well friends, thankfully I think this is the first time since Week 1 that I don't have to write - "it wasn't pretty, but a win is a win." Whereas our last three wins were achieved by an average margin of 4 points, yesterday we enjoyed a slightly more favorable differential of 28 points! Yeah, we destroyed them. I particularly liked the part where MEWELDE MOORE had THREE TOUCHDOWNS. Let me repeat that. MEWELDE MOORE had THREE TOUCHDOWNS. How many of you thought I'd be writing THAT this morning?

And so we increase our record to 5-1, as the score is now Big Ben - 11, Ohio - 0. The Steelers took care of business by way of "the big three" (Hines, San Antonio and Nate Washington) combining for 206 of the Steelers 250 total passing yards, and 2/3 of the number of touchdowns that Mewelde Moore had. Not altogether a bad performance.

On the other side of the ball, the Steelers Defense had seven sacks - the tandem of Wooderson contributing a combined FOUR, The Law contributing two more and James Farrior rounding things out with the seventh. No picks. But a fumble recovery and plenty of solid plays nonetheless.

Still, before I get too amped up, it WAS the Bungles. I mean, they were 0-6, starting Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB and struggling with perhaps the biggest waste of talent this side of the Mississippi (wait, Cincinnati is on this side of the Mississsippi, right?). The fact is, we should have won this game by even more than we did. Not necessarily because the Bengals were so shitty. But really because of that offensive dearth for the entire 2nd Quarter.

Whatever. We won! We're 5-1, leading Bawlmore, who unfortunately took care of the Dolphins yesterday, by two games in the division and will undoubtedly increase our profile in the conversation about playoff contenders. Not that we need that last part. But listen, without Master Fly W Large, Big Snack or Marvel Smith, we still put up 38 points and held the Bangles to just 10. Probably should have been 3, but I'm not going to split hairs.

5-1 feels good, right? I know it does for me. So let's go through the weekly recap of "Things That Were Awesome," "Things That Were Not Awesome," and "Things That Sucked Mini Horse Balls." You'll notice I expanded the "Awesome" section to 10 instead of the normal five. I couldn't pick just five. Go with it.

Things That Were Awesome...
1. Mewelde F'ing Moore - 120 yards, 3 TDs (no brainer)
2. This hit on Keith Rivers...

3. Silverback...No need for anything more clever
4. Punt coverage (Bengals return avg. = 2 yards)
5. Santonio Holmes' 5 catches, 89 yards, and 1 TD
6. 0 sacks allowed!
7. 0 offensive turnovers!
8. Did I mention, Mewelde Moore's 120 yards and 3 TDs?
9. Timmons, Woodley and Harrison combining for six sacks
10. Face Me Ike playfully nudging Ocho Cinco out of bounds

Things That Were Not Awesome...
1. Kemoeatu's 500th false start penalty in the 1st six games
2. Letting Chad Johnson score his 1st TD against us since 2005
3. The Browns (as we knew they would be)
4. Kickoff coverage (Caldwell's return avg. = 29 yards)
5. Marvin Lewis' post-game demeanor

Things That Sucked Mini Horse Balls...
1. Troy leaving the field after a helmet to helmet with Cedric Benson...
2. With McFadden in tow
3. Our offensive production in the 2nd quarter...or lack thereof, rather
4. Watching Ryan Fitzpatrick orchestrate a 14 play, 92 yard TD scoring drive
5. Being sick and not drinking at the bar

One other thing that was awesome - yesterday's liveblog, courtesy of Tobiathan. I wasn't able to join, because the game wasn't on regular TV here and I don't have the kind of coin that would fund me getting something fancy like Sunday Ticket. But I checked it out last night and it looked to be as awesome as usual! Well done, Tobiathan!

Also, OFTOT friend and compatriot, The Chief was there to witness the beating from some prime seats. And he was kind enough to send visual evidence. Check these out...

Looks like he found an island among a sea of insanity...


Hey, what's Najeh doing stretching? He ain't gonna play, is he? Wait, what?


If you look closely, you'll see someone has an even sicker 'fro than Tomlin...


Wow, I'll bet the guy in the Keith Rivers jersey is pissed off today...


The Chief kindly noted - even Anthony Smith got to play...


From 100 feet away, Ed Hochuli is still thicker than that towel holder's wrist...


As The Chief pointed out, somebody won't be getting laid tonight...


Wait, I think I see a Bengals fan...oh, no, that's just a guy in a hunting vest...


No two people are not waving a Terrible Towel...


Thanks Chief! Some solid camerawork. Looks like it was a blast! Beyond that, I think we savor the win for today, and begin to mentally prepare for the defending champion Giants next Sunday.

Now let's get his party started discussion going...

What did you all think? What were your "Awesomes," "Not Awesomes," and "Sucked Mini Horse Balls'?"

10 comments:

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls said...

If you were n't drinking at the bar, where were you drinking?

Personally, I was hanging out with my dog, a Black Lab named "Myron" (for, of course, Myron Cope).

Highlights: Silverback and Woodman doing their thing.

Lowlights: Troy and B-Mac getting donked by Cedric Benson.

Christy said...

Wait, you forgot to mention the fact that Moore scored 3 TD's. :p

Although true it "was only the Bungles", don't forget that they played some good teams pretty close this year (Dallas and Giants).

Not only that, but you can't really expect our offense to score nonstop throughout the entire game no matter who the opponent, it's not like we're the Patriots of '07.

It's nice to see that the Browns went back to playing like the Browns...

tecmo said...

What sucked mini horse balls: You saying that Santonio had a TD when he didn't. I still got the fantasy win without Santonio scoring, but rub it in my face again, asshole.

The Chief said...

My pleasure for the photos! It really was a great game to watch and as you can see, the seats were great!

The Bengals fans and Steelers fans that sat around us together were all pretty well behaved for the most part except for some jackass college punks who stole a terrible towel from three 18-year old girls beside me but they got escorted out of the stadium by Cincinnati's finest when I told the girl to call the JERK-line! All in all, the Bungles fans were humbled and they knew they really couldn't do much talking.

Hope you all enjoy the photos! Thanks Cotter!

-The Chief

confused-but-still-random asshole said...

What Sucked Mini Horse Balls: I missed the game entirely because I spent the whole day driving back home from the middle of nowhere.

What made Absolutely No Sense: I stopped for gas in Erie around 1:30 and saw tons of people wearing Steelers jerseys, except they were all in establishments that had no televisions showing the game. What the hell were they doing?

Lord Byron said...

Hey, wheres my credit? I threw a td pass too!

Lori said...

Awesome: Mewelde Moore's first name.
Sucked Mini Horse Balls: Douchy radio station at Columbus bar.

Nice post/photos.

Cotter said...

jppb ~ Sadly, I wasn't drinking. Anywhere. Unless water counts. Wait, what am I saying? No, the only thing I drank was Dayquil.

christy ~ Those games against the vaGiants and Cowgirls were when Carson Palmer was playing, though. Hapless with him, HOPELESS without him. And yeah, I think I forgot to mention Mewelde Moore's 3 TDs. Thanks for reminding me!

tec ~ Yeah, that didn't sound right when I wrote it...research department? Substitute Silverback HURDLING Kenny Watson en route to sacking Ryan Fitzpatrick.

the chief ~ The photos were seriously clutch! I was pretty psyched when they hit my inbox. Thanks again for sending them! Looks like your seats were awesome. Unlike the idiots who stole the Terrible Towel. Someone should apprise them of the karmic consequences of their action.

random asshole ~ Perhaps it was a MENSA meeting. I hear those braniacs can enjoy a game telepathically.

lord byron ~ Oh yeah, sorry. Good work on the garbage time touchdown throw, after which Hines Ward did most of the work.

lori ~ Please tell me there was a TV in the bar and you weren't just listening to the game on the radio?

Christy said...

Oh, it was Palmer that played those games? I kinda figured there was something was wrong with that.

Lori said...

oh fuck no, there were two big TVs