First things first, this morning. Yes, I'm fully aware of the story about Keisel reading Eli Manning's lips, and I think that's just fabulous. Real nice work, Brett. We should've known you had special talents like lip reading. After all, you did go to that crazy Mormon school.
Anyways, with the Steelers heading to our nation's capital next week, only one thing comes to mind for me - Antwaan Randle El. I love that little dude. I was so upset when he left for DC. I mean, I know it's hard to turn down $31 million to stay and serve as Pittsburgh's #3 receiver for the relative equivalent of a bag of balls, but I guess I thought maybe hometown discount? What? No good?
Oh well, we had to part ways.
But that doesn't mean I don't still love the guy. Because I do. Imagine him in there returning kicks this year. Imagine him in there throwing trick play bombs to Hines Ward. Imagine him being super effing tiny.
I used to hate his West to East punt return style. I used to scream at the TV screen like it was Poltergeist and throw every four letter word I knew at him for losing 5 yards after spending 35 seconds running laterally. I called him a dunce. I told him he should be more like Hank Poteat (no I didn't). But in the end, I did it all out of love.
Daniel Snyder, you rich asshole. Screw you for paying him approximately 800 times what any other team would offer. Thanks for leaving us with Cedrick effing Wilson. You're a real dick, man. Not only that, but you look ridiculous. You look like a fatter version of this kid that used to live next to me in elementary school. That kid was a dork. You must be one too [says the pot to the kettle].
I'd also like to applaud the REDSKINS for holding their own in a sea of politically correctness (political correctivity?). You go, Nation's capital. Ethnic sensitivities? We'll have none of this here in America. Way to set an example for the rest of our proud American cities. I guess we should've all known you were crazy when your Mayor was found with Crack, did 6 months in prison for it and still got re-elected. Hey, what do you know? There's hope for me yet.
Ah, but I digress.
I've got a few friends who are members of Redskin Nation, all of whom are some of the coolest dudes I've ever met. And every other day but this coming Monday, I'd happily root for the 'Skins. I mean, they play in a division with the Eagles, vaGiants and Cowgirls. How could you not like them if they mean nothing to your team's success or failure? But unfortunately, we're playing them on Monday. So while I may love the many personalities of Clinton Portis, I have to vehemently hate them for at least one night.
Now, we're still early in the week, here. I don't wanna get too far ahead of myself, talking about game previews and stuff. But...let me just say that this is a very winnable game. Look at what happened a couple of weeks ago. The RAMS(!) went into Fed Ex Field and beat the 'Skins. Surely if that can happen, Ike Taylor can finally catch an interception...I mean, the Steelers can beat the Redskins.
Anybody else miss Randle El's life?