[Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show Outtake Reel - Week 13...

Feast your hungry eyes on this deliciousness...

By the way, I <3 the outtake reel. I think it's my favoritest part of the [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show. Hopefully, y'all agree.

Check 'er out!

Then check 'er out again at PSaMP.

Spy Cameras Can't Help You Now, Pats...

He's coming for you, Matt Cassel.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The Wood's out for blood...

HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!!

[Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show - Week 13...

Alright, so we missed last week. But, you know, short week, blah blah blah, [insert some weak excuses here], whatever.

Nevertheless, we're back this week and not a minute too soon, with Big Ben and friends invading Foxboro this afternoon.

You know the drill here. Show now, Outtake Reel tomorrow.

HERE WE GO, STEELERS!

Watch this piece again at PSaMP.

Fun With The NFL Shop Catalog...

Some Thanksgiving "leftovers" for you...


Hmmm, the placement of Coaches in this picture seems awfully peculiar...


I doubt any self-respecting woman would ever wear this pink Raiders watch. But to be fair, I doubt any self-respecting MAN would ever wear that black Raiders watch either, so...


Kerry Collins is not pleased with your douchebaggery...


Alyssa Milano has now diversified to football. All you female NFL fans can now exhale...


Look for these to be 75% off in the immediate future...


For the budding criminal on your list...


If only this said "I <3 Dinosaurs," I'd totally buy it...

As you can tell, I'm really easing my way back in here after yesterday's feasting. If it's something about Sunday's game you crave, I recommend looking to the Boston media via the following two links -- On one side of the fence, there's the Boston Herald's "Double D," who thinks the Pats will have a tough time throwing on the Steelers. And on the other side (sort of), you've got MassLive.com's Ben Swasey, who thinks the Patriots will exploit our pass rush and kill us with quick passes.

Me? I think it'll be a tough game for sure. Ben Swasey's outlook is probably pretty accurate. We better be ready to defend those quick slants. Especially when they're thrown to Wes Welker. Of course, at the rate Cassel's been getting sacked (San Fran's 23rd ranked Defense sacked him FIVE times and Denver's 28th ranked Defense sacked him SIX times), he may not even have a chance, even in shotgun formation.

Here's to hoping that's true!

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Douchemanzadeh to the Ravens? That'd be effing interesting, man.

Imagine the strong armed Flacco with Derrick Mason and TJ Houshmanzadeh? Putting aside the fact that collectively they're approximately 1500 years old, those are two receivers you can count on to catch just about anything. At least that's how I see it. And with a guy who can throw the ball down the field? That would certainly make the Ravens just a tad more dangerous...

Of course, this means nothing, really. So who cares?

On a completely unrelated note, I'm interested to know how Matt Light punches Channing Crowder without a helmet on and gets fined $15,000, only $5,000 more than LaMarr Woodley, who made a clean hit on Jason Campbell, and then Jim Haslett gets fined $20,000 for swearing at officials? Obviously something's broken in the league office.

But hey, just imagine how much money the NFL would make if EVERYONE who swore at officials got fined $20,000.

Go ahead, Goodell. Fine these links...

Bill Belichick helping Dermontti Dawson break into the Hall? [Post-Gazette]

???? Yeah, I got nothing, Tec [PSaMP]

3.6 yards per carry, huh? Yikes [Trib]

This whole woman having sex in a bathroom stall at the Metrodome thing is really ridiculous [The Big Lead]

Scranton and Pittsburgh. They're not so different, ya know? [This Is Getting Old]

ASPCA's Best Dressed Dogs of 2008. The Beagle dressed like a lion does not look amused [ASPCA]

And lastly...

I've got a better question - do you really need to ask?

And We Shall Call Him...

Paisios.

In case you hadn't heard, as seen in this week's Sports Illustrated Pop Culture Grid, Troy's recently born son's name is "Paisios."

Anyone who knows what that means feel free to share.

I trust that all your Turkey Days went well?

News You Might Care About...

The Steelers just re-signed Najeh Davenport.

I guess Willie's vag may be hurt more than he's letting on...

Awesome...

Not.

Happy Thanksgiving, You Turkeys!

Well, here we are - just a mere 10 hours away from the day of the year on which we're all to give thanks for the things we value the most. And since for many of us, one of those things is the Steelers, I thought it'd be fun to ask some of my Steelers-loving blogger brethren to give a little thanks of their own in advance. So I asked as many of these friends as I could if they'd be interested in expressing one thing they're happy for in relation to the Steelers this year. And luckily, many of them were gracious enough to do so. You'll find all their answers below.

Before we get to that, I'd just like to thank everyone for doing this. I know, as the editor of a blog I often struggle to keep up with, that blogging on your own site is enough without someone else asking for your help on their blog. So I'm very grateful that all of these OFTOT friends took the time out to give thanks in anticipation of tomorrow's graciousness.

Without further ado, I give you, the Steelers blogosphere's Thanksgiving thanks...feel free to give us your own in the comments!

DON, Mondesi's House ~ If this year has taught me to be thankful for anything, it's to be thankful for Daniel Sepulveda.

THE CHIEF, The Chief's Forum ~ I'm thankful for Mike Tomlin actually showing some emotion on the sidelines this year instead of "The World's Most Understanding Coach" which is what he resembled last season. I've no idea how much that plays into the performance of the team but after 15 years of Cowher, you can't quit cold turkey (get it!?!?!)

VERN, You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad ~ I'm Steelers-y thankful for a few things. First, I'm thankful that although he's absorbed a pounding that would make the chick from the Houston 500 Gangbang cringe, Benjamin H. Roethlisberger is still able to walk upright and throw footballs with enough velocity for the receivers to drop them. H. is probably not his middle initial.

I'm thankful that although they've played like absolute garbage offensively for long stretches of time, they are still 8-3 and reside in a division that contains the likes of the Bengals and Browns. I'm also thankful that James Harrison focuses his energy towards football and not systematic mass murders.

I'm thankful that Ray Lewis is in the division, but not on the team that I cheer for. Ray Lewis is such an easy target, just like the two people he stabbed to death a couple years ago. But having to root for Ray Lewis would be the equivalent of being forced to cheer for the Trail of Tears. We are all lucky that we don't have to wish for this douchebag to do good things for our team, which would probably kill all of the enjoyment we'd be getting from the game to begin with. And remember, Ray, just because you broke Rashard Mendenhall's shoulder with a good hit doesn't mean that your team won the game and you didn't kill two people and get away with it.

I'm thankful that as of right now, I do not fear the (almost) annual Bill Cowher playoff collapse.

I'm thankful that I never got stopped in a park by Kordell Stewart.

And last but not least, I'm thankful that the Steelers are going to be given the chance to go into Gillette and shave Bill Belichick's balls. I'm just assuming that's Gillette slang for blowing somebody out. It's gotta be. I'll take on any arguments to the contrary.

Happy Thanksgiving, all! Let's celebrate this day the way the Pilgrims did and not give the indians smallpox blankets for a day. And it's finally nice out in Florida, so enjoy your snow while I'm out poolside spitting weak game at chicks so out of my league that I feel like an Arena League team.

TECMO, Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies ~ I'm thankful that Anthony Smith hasn't opened his mou...

...that Brett Keisel hasn't been injur...

...that Ben hasn't thrown a bunch of intercepti...

...that Rashard has contribut...

...that Dennis Dixon has been on the field to confus...

...that Arians hasn't looked incompet...

...uh...that we're 8-3 through 2/3 of the "toughest schedule in 25 years."

Yeah...that one.

SEAN, Sean's Ramblings ~ I am thankful that no Steeler took naked photos of himself of this year (at least I think it wasn't this year). On a more serious note, I am thankful that the Steelers resigned James Farrior this year. While Harrison, Woodley, Aaron Smith and Troy get all the headlines, there is not a more solid and consistent person to lead the defense than Farrior.

NEAL COOLONG, Behind The Steel Curtain ~ I'm thankful for the fortune of being able to watch the NFL's best athlete, Troy Polamalu, each game. He does things on a game-per-game basis that makes me renew my loyalty to the NFL as my only source of pure entertainment. I'm thankful for the fact we get to see a once-in-a-generation player on our team.

SHEENA BEASTON, Sheena Beaston ~ I give thanks for Jimmy Harry's sweet behind and his incredible ability to leap, even when not necessary.

And me? I'm just thankful that Tommy Maddox is safe and sound, far far away from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, jagoffs! Have a beer and stuff yourself silly for me! I'll see y'all on Friday(?) And please, no one make the joke about sticking your dick in the mashed potatoes. This is NOT that kind of party...

Cheers!

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

God dammit! And I was really looking forward to watching the Steelers sack Lady Quinn like 16 times. Now, I won't even get the chance. I mean, shit, I won't even get to watch him hold the clipboard, what with this finger problem and everything.

So "a team source said that all agreed that Quinn needed to shut it down before the tendons tore from the bone," eh? Yikes. That doesn't sound like much of a party. I kind of actually feel a little bad for him...kind of.

Guess it's time for Horse Balls to demonstrate why Browns fans thought he was snubbed in last year's Pro Bowl voting!

Try not to tear the tendons from YOUR bones while reading these links...

Check out one of the Pirates new fireballers...and compare that windup to Lord Byron's [PSaMP]

Right, so Willie Parker may not play Sunday. What else is new? Ugh [Post-Gazette]

That Bengals game showed Offensive progress...I guess [LancasterOnline]

Wow, how bad of shape must Sean Alexander be in? [Associated Press]

Greatest magnet and greatest pun EVER [joy magnetism]

Afternoon post to follow. I promise it will make up for my inadequacy this morning!

Sorry kids, I'm under the gun at work today...and after, I might have to go invest IN a gun...to shoot myself with. This sucks.

This Is Not 'Nam, There Are Rules...

Cotter's Rainy Day Rules (contextually limited to NYC):

1. Rain will usually be accompanied by wind.

2. Said wind will be blowing in a direction that allows the rain to fly diagonally under my umbrella, thus soaking me from the chest down. This leads me to firmly believe that no existing umbrella could shield my 6'2" frame from soakage.

3. I will almost always be listening to one of the following Snow Patrol tracks - "Open Your Eyes," "Chocolate," or "If There's A Rocket, Tie Me To It."

4. Some large number of assholes will have golf umbrellas that will inadvertently almost poke you in the eye. As a result, I have vowed that next time it rains, I'm using one of those parachutes from nursery school...you know which ones I'm talking about.

5. Chicks will be excited because they get to wear those cute rain boots they bought last weekend.

6. Even though rain above ground should have no effect on underground transportation, it will somehow screw up the Subway and PATH systems.

7. If you're planning on having lunch delivered, I suggest you order at 9:30 AM. Otherwise you won't eat until 3.

8. There will still be some douchebags wearing sunglasses. Probably on the Subway, too.

9. I've learned to always have an umbrella with me because on any given day, no matter how sunny it is when you leave in the morning, there's at least a 20% chance of rain (though some days it's me making it rain...HEYO!).

10. None of this would happen in sunny LA...[at least not in my mind, that is]

Care to share your Rainy Day Rules?

This Just In: Anthony Smith Still Mentally Challenged!

Honestly?

Hey Anthony Smith, you should probably wait until you crack the starting lineup and your biggest contribution hasn't been special teams penalties to open your mouth. Though, I could be wrong...

At least it gives me an excuse to re-use that photoshop again. Score!

Hat tip, Tecmo!

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

"I'm the head coach and the buck stops at my desk. It's my charge. If we don't win games, it's on me. Just like when the offense doesn't do well, it falls on the quarterback, rightly or wrongly. But this position, the scrutiny goes with it."

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock Romeo. You're right, the buck does stop there. Had you forgotten? Did someone have to remind you, "Hey, wait, Romeo. Doesn't the buck stop here?" I think not.

But let's talk about what really matters. I wish the buck were stopping HERE. Like here, in my cube. Right about now. With like about 1000 of its buddies. And a beer bong. Ok, the beer bong's optional. But definitely the 1000 friends. Make it happen, [insert name of Cotter's employer here]!

And lastly, you know what else stops at Romeo's desk? Cheeseburgers!


While he's feasting on that giant beef patty, y'all should feast on these links...

The Steelers NEED Cheerleaders? [PSaMP]

Hey, that's kind of how we found Jeff Reed, isn't it? [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad]

Forgot this one yesterday...apparently the Steelers DO have some form of the Wildcat formation involving Dennis Dixon...so, can we, uh, like see that shit, Arians? [Post-Gazette]

In light of this, I may actually advocate Big Ben airing the ball out on Sunday [Boston.com]

"That's my heart.' I'm a competitor. I want to get in the end zone. And I want to win. Period." [SI.com]

Your wish has been granted, Domski [Associated Press]

Cowherdelphia? [Sporting News]

You didn't seriously believe me when I said I was sick of picking on the Browns, right Christy?

Jusssstttt Try And Relax...

Hey guys, guess what today is? That's right! Injury report day!

From time to time I like to masochisticly celebrate this much anticipated day of the week...and today's one of those times.

So, while it won't be fun, and it may not be entertaining, I'm going to attempt to handicap the odds of five particular Steelers taking the field for Sunday's Hatriot hunt.

KEISEL THE DIESEL

10 to 1. In fact, 2 to 1 he doesn't play for a month. Seriously? Man, that sucks! What are you smiling about, dude? Go get your shit a massage or something, for Christ's sake!

MASTER FLY W. LARGE

3 to 1. Unless he has some freak lawn darts accident tomorrow, all signs point to him playing. My sources tell me his vagina's healing real nicely.

SANSMOKIO THE BEAR

Without Weed - 1 to 1
With Weed - 6 to 1
The only way 'Tone doesn't play in this one is if he forgets he has a game on Sunday afternoon. In that case, we'll probably find him at Taco Bell.

BRYANT MCSICKGOATEE

I'm gonna go 5 to 1, here. If he harnesses the power of that chiseled-ass goat, we're good. If not, we'll have to see. Man, I wish I could grow facial hair. Maybe when I'm 30.

And last but certainly not least...

STEELY MCBEAM

1 to 1. God would never allow me the satisfaction...after all, I'm in law school.

So, how do you guys feel about all of this? Which of these injuries is potentially the worst (besides my bruised brain)? And has anyone had a nightmare involving that Steely McDevil photoshop yet?

...'cause that'd be awesome...

/FIXED!

So, um, Mitch Berger's back.

That oughta solve everything, right?

Feel free to use this post to comment on that business, or alternatively, to gratuitously quote Kingpin. Choose your own adventure.

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm kind of tired of picking on the Browns. At least I feel that way today. So instead, I figured I'd do my best with either Cincy or VD-More. And since we just played the Bangles, not to mention the fact that there's nothing you can say about them that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan (they look bombed out and depleted), I really only had one choice for today's headline.

Vagina-More it is.

However, the unfortunate truth is, they're not really cooperating with me here. Normally I pick a headline that references one of our division rivals' ineptitude or general douchebaggery. But by virtue of their 7-4 record, the Ravens have pretty much escaped being the butt of my terrible jokes. Sadly, today's really not going to be any different. The good news is, at least I can get A laugh out of it.


OOPS! How'd that work out for ya? 4 picks, you say? A forced fumble, you say? Donovan McNabb benched after the 1st half, you say? Well, hell. That's pretty dern good, idn't it?

Hey Eagles, thanks for sucking. Where were those 9 sacks yesterday? And don't even talk to me about Donovan McTurnover. Oh shit, he just threw another pick! To an 8-year-old in the front row! Who has one arm! And his eyes closed!

You know what? You're right. Kevin Kolb's a much better option. Seriously.

I'll bet these links would have been more of a test for the Ravens Defense...

Three years old and this little girl's already confused by politics. The Steelers and John McCain? That's kind of a paradox. She does pick a mean booger, though [PSaMP]

Someone finally said it. Thank you, J Peezy! [Fanhouse]

Kevin Colbert makes this guy's top 10 Executives of the Year list. For the record, he's #1 on my list every year [Sporting News]

Obviously the Post-Gazette has not been reading OFTOT and PSaMP [Post-Gazette]

I guess the good news is Kyle Boller's good at something [Deuce of Davenport]

What's the most hardcore way to fight someone in football? Why, pulling his hair, of course! I think Matt Light's been training with Larry Johnson [Ballhype]

By the way, whoever has been spending their Saturdays and Sundays for the past few weeks systematically combing OFTOT's archives, I'd love to know what that's all about. I mean, I know it isn't because the shit is that good. Though there are some choice photoshops in there...

Things I'm Already Over For $1000, Please...

Matt Cassel. Come on, be honest. You're over this guy too. I mean, Jesus Christ. You'd think he WAS Tom Brady. Oh, he just passed for 400 yards for the 2nd week in a row? Can he also turn water into wine?

Two 400 yard performances. That's real special. I'm real happy for him n'at. But I'm a bit physically ill already from hearing ESPN suck his dick like he's done some shit. Ugh. Jesus, guys. I'm choking! Could you please remove Matt Cassel's face from my throat?

Yeah, I know he's hot like summer in Saudi Arabia right now. But how long can that last?

Alright, all kidding aside. He's got Randy Moss, Wes Welker, Jabar Gaffney, Kevin Faulk, Benjamin Watson, and David Thomas around him. I mean, with Randy Moss and Wes Welker alone you're talking like 850 fantasy points. But those are all some pretty decent caliber receiving threats. So I could see how it might be easy to rack up 2600 yards and 13 TDs over 11 games. Especially when you have approximately zero running game.

But perhaps most astonishingly, do you guys realize that he's been sacked two more times than Big Ben!? Yes, two MORE times! So I guess early signs point to this potentially being a tough test. On September 8, I really didn't expect to be saying that at all.

What do y'all think? What do you make of Matt Cassel's pair of 400 yard campaigns? Do you think our #1 Defense will have a tough time with the Matt-Cassel-led Patriots? And who are you more sick of - Matt Cassel or Michael Phelps?

/I'm really just salty because I spent my weekend studying Leaseholds and related topics for an exam tonight...send Valium, please!