November 25, 2008

Jusssstttt Try And Relax...


Hey guys, guess what today is? That's right! Injury report day!

From time to time I like to masochisticly celebrate this much anticipated day of the week...and today's one of those times.

So, while it won't be fun, and it may not be entertaining, I'm going to attempt to handicap the odds of five particular Steelers taking the field for Sunday's Hatriot hunt.

KEISEL THE DIESEL

10 to 1. In fact, 2 to 1 he doesn't play for a month. Seriously? Man, that sucks! What are you smiling about, dude? Go get your shit a massage or something, for Christ's sake!

MASTER FLY W. LARGE

3 to 1. Unless he has some freak lawn darts accident tomorrow, all signs point to him playing. My sources tell me his vagina's healing real nicely.

SANSMOKIO THE BEAR

Without Weed - 1 to 1
With Weed - 6 to 1
The only way 'Tone doesn't play in this one is if he forgets he has a game on Sunday afternoon. In that case, we'll probably find him at Taco Bell.

BRYANT MCSICKGOATEE

I'm gonna go 5 to 1, here. If he harnesses the power of that chiseled-ass goat, we're good. If not, we'll have to see. Man, I wish I could grow facial hair. Maybe when I'm 30.

And last but certainly not least...

STEELY MCBEAM

1 to 1. God would never allow me the satisfaction...after all, I'm in law school.

So, how do you guys feel about all of this? Which of these injuries is potentially the worst (besides my bruised brain)? And has anyone had a nightmare involving that Steely McDevil photoshop yet?

...'cause that'd be awesome...

3 comments:

domski43 said...

i would love to see McFadden come back this week

Sheena Beaston said...

do daymares count? i feel like he's luring behind every corner.

Cotter said...

domski ~ Me too. I'm hoping that since they said he might have come back for the Bengals, he'll be ready for this Sunday. Guess we'll find out in a couple of hours...

sheena ~ Nightmares, Daymares, Mini Mares (that'd be kind of like Mini Ponies, right?), any and all apply.