This Is Not 'Nam, There Are Rules...

Cotter's Rainy Day Rules (contextually limited to NYC):

1. Rain will usually be accompanied by wind.

2. Said wind will be blowing in a direction that allows the rain to fly diagonally under my umbrella, thus soaking me from the chest down. This leads me to firmly believe that no existing umbrella could shield my 6'2" frame from soakage.

3. I will almost always be listening to one of the following Snow Patrol tracks - "Open Your Eyes," "Chocolate," or "If There's A Rocket, Tie Me To It."

4. Some large number of assholes will have golf umbrellas that will inadvertently almost poke you in the eye. As a result, I have vowed that next time it rains, I'm using one of those parachutes from nursery school...you know which ones I'm talking about.

5. Chicks will be excited because they get to wear those cute rain boots they bought last weekend.

6. Even though rain above ground should have no effect on underground transportation, it will somehow screw up the Subway and PATH systems.

7. If you're planning on having lunch delivered, I suggest you order at 9:30 AM. Otherwise you won't eat until 3.

8. There will still be some douchebags wearing sunglasses. Probably on the Subway, too.

9. I've learned to always have an umbrella with me because on any given day, no matter how sunny it is when you leave in the morning, there's at least a 20% chance of rain (though some days it's me making it rain...HEYO!).

10. None of this would happen in sunny LA...[at least not in my mind, that is]

Care to share your Rainy Day Rules?