August 27, 2008

What is This, The Mike Tomlin School of PR?


Ok, first off this morning - what the hell went on in NY yesterday?

"There's great respect for the Rooney family in the National Football League, and we want to do everything we can to ensure that the Steelers continue to be operated by the Rooneys and the way they've been operated."

"[It's] another step in the process."

"We had a good dialogue, good communication about the issues at hand and I think we have a better understanding of where things are."
Mike Tomlin, is that you? Oh no, it's Roger Goodell. Wow, that's enough ambiguities to choke a horse Steely McBeam. Ok, no but seriously though, what are they talking about? These quotes are Oscar-worthy. Hey Goodell, does Pacino know you stole his line about "great respect for the...family?"

Secondly, did this guy seriously rank the Steelers' backup QB behind Matt Leinart, Chris Redman, Matt Moore and Gus Frerotte? #17 out of 32? Surely he can't be talking about Chuck Batch? Well, actually, he's not. The backup he's referring to is current backup, Lord Byron "Does Not Understand The Mechanics of Throwing A Football" Leftwich. Plus, he ranked Kyle Boller (being honestly evaluated as the potential starter in Baltimore) behind all of them at #20. So um, in that case, fair assessment. Carry on, Don Banks.

Lastly, Hines Ward had a revelation about how to help fix Wreckingball's recent fumbling problem. The same god damned revelation every blogger who made the obvious joke did. Yes, we all saw "The Program." Paying people to try and make Wreckingball fumble? Now, you're just being a dick. He already has to carry the ball everywhere with him. Knock that crap off. And also, this is news? Seriously? Wow.

Sorry guys, this post was the result of what they call a creativity fail. I'll try and come up with something better for tomorrow. I'm embarrassed. Embarrassed, really.

Any burning topics you'd like to discuss? I hear Perez Hilton thinks the Cracker Barrel is homo-unfriendly. Guess nobody told Perez that Domski used to work there...

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Rooney bros. conclude meeting with NFL Commissioner [Post-Gazette]
Goodell calls meeting with Rooney brothers 'productive' [Trib]
Ranking each team's No. 2 QBs [SI.com]
Ward, Steelers Teach Mendenhall Not To Fumble [Trib]

5 comments:

Marc said...

I'd like to venture a guess that a guy with a multimillion dollar contract probably doesn't care too much about a few hundred dollars.

Strahan is staying retired. Good, if he doesn't want to play. I'm excited to hear him in the booth, he's hilarious.

Work blows, it's only Wednesday morning, nasty. Making it slightly better, I have a fantasy draft tonight, I hope Davenport falls to me in the first round.

I'm in the mood for some football, to play or to watch. Penn State plays this weekend.

Also, I really want all stations to be in HD, all football, and FSN for the Pirates and Pens

Cotter said...

First things first - Work does blow and the fact that it's only Wednesday is severely disheartening. Plus, this is my first week back in law school as well. So that ain't helpin'...

Second - It's not really the money that's the issue for me (and really there is no issue, I was just trying to make a joke). I just think it's a little unnecessary to play footsie with each other over a couple of fumbles.

Third - Strahan staying retired is the best news I've heard this week. Living in the NYC area, the Brett Favre feeding frenzy was more than enough for me. I don't think I could take another round of that with Strahan.

Fourth - I'll def be watching the PSU game, provided they're showing it somewhere around these parts. Still, it's Coastal Carolina. I honestly hope they don't lose. That'd be pretty bad, but somehow not altogether surprising (and I'm a PSU fan, so...).

And last but not least - I think pretty much the whole world should be in HD. I mean, wouldn't everything look better in HD?

Oh, and one more thing - Marc, where you been the last few days?

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls said...

Maybe Joe Paterno will poop his white pants.

Marc said...

I think Paterno shitting his pants would be better than a bowl win.

Cotter said...

He'd fit right in with the Browns then...

Alternative joke = Quick, someone spike his prune juice with ex lax. This plan must come to fruition...