Ok, so we lost on Sunday. I, for one, am still pissed off about it. But I refuse to let it ruin my week. Instead, I'd like to do what I always do and try to be funny so I can successfully mask the black shitstorm of death within...I mean, hey guys, what's up? Didn't see you there.
Well anyway, I really did want to get humorous today. So I reached deep down into my creative subconscious and pulled out this little nugget right here. It's Tuesday, so Tomlin should have his presser later on this afternoon, at which he'll announce the injuries to watch this week. With that in mind I thought I'd preempt him and give you all the injury report right now.
So let's not do this dance where I write a whole bunch of words that I don't need to write en route to introducing the main feature that you probably won't read. Just consider this your transition. Or should you so desire...choose your own adventure [and insert witty segue from randomness to more randomness here].
Yeah, so, uh, here it is...
1. Big Ben - Bruised confidence in the offensive line
2. Chris Hoke - Severe case of looking like Vader
3. Chris Kemoeatu - Extremely itchy face
4. Willie Colon - Unknown (believed to be worthlessness)
5. Jeff Reed - Being awesome...and probably herpes
6. Byron Leftwich - I think he's just over eager, really
7. Donavan McNabb - Feelings are permanently hurt (yeah, I know)
8. Limas Sweed - Sports hernia (might actually be true?)
9. Bruce Arians - Head up ass disease
10. LaMarr Woodley - Wait, how'd he get in here? Erroneous.
11. Deshea Townsend - Needs to grow three inches
12. Hines Ward - So bitchy, I love it.
13. Larry Zierling - This blog no longer recognizes his existence
14. Anthony Smith - FAIL!
15. Cotter - Man, this damn blog never has enough dinosaurs
But alas, that's all I got. Anyone else who tells you they're injured, they're lying to you, man. Especially Brett Keisel. That guy is completely unbelievable. Yeah dude, you're injured...and I'm the Easter Bunny.
What, no good?