Service Announcement: Inspiration for the following post is brought to you by BodogLife.com. Sure, I wrote it. But it was their email giving me the betting odds on if Bill Cowher will coach in 2009 or not that pushed me to it. So if you hate it, blame them. Well, I guess they don't deserve ALL the blame. Beer and lack of sleep had a hand in that as well. Anyways, if you're a betting man/woman, go check out BodogLife.com. They seem to have a severe amount of things to bet on, including the subject matter of this post. And there went the product plug. Now that we've got that out of the way...
Bill Cowher. Crafton native. 15 years of terror in Pittsburgh, producing one Super Bowl ring and 10 Playoff runs. One of the most coveted potential Head Coaches for the past two seasons (this one and last), even if it was never said publicly. Many think he left the game because he was tired. Many think he left because he wanted more than the Steelers were willing to pay. Some even think that he left because he knew about the current Rooney tunes saga. I don't know about all that. But I do know that I can speculate on where he would go if this was 2009 and his phone came a ringin'.
As you'll see, below I've done just that. And I don't know anything about betting odds. So I've pretty much made up all of these numbers and have only a marginal idea of what they mean. In other words, I think I'm saying, this is solely for entertainment purposes. If Bill Cowher ever did return to Coaching, well, I hope Bill doesn't return to Coaching. Because I'd only want him in Pittsburgh, and in my mind that job is still strongly occupied by Mr T., Mike Tomlin. Anyways, Bodog's "odds" were (-130) for Yes and (Even) for No, answering the question - "Will Bill Cowher be Coaching in 2009?" So with that, I give you my guesses and the corresponding odds...
1 - Houston or Arizona | Odds = 5 to 1
Yes, I'm combining them, because listen, when are the Houston and Arizona jobs NOT available? If Ken Whisenhunt thinks he has 10 years to build that team he's sorely mistaken. When your team hasn't seen action in January for a decade, the natives can get restless. I give him two more 5-11 seasons, tops, before enough's enough. Anyway, so that's why Houston and Arizona. I think the odds are probably the same for each, but talk to me in 2009 and maybe that'll change. Not if the Cardinals don't figure out the Anquan Boldin situation it won't, though. NEXT!
2 - Detroit | Odds = 20 to 1 (10 to 1 if Jon Kitna's the QB)
Detroit. Yeah, sure. Why not? They haven't exactly been a perrenial contender of late. And while it seems like Rod Marinelli is making nice nice with Matt "Daniel Snyder School of Drafting Graduate" Millen, I have a hard time believing he has any longer a leash than The Whiz out in AZ. Now, I highly doubt Millen would see a personality match in Cowher. But if he did, Detroit is a blue collar town. Lots of guns. But a hard working people comprising that fanbase. And hey, maybe, just maybe, Cowher might be able to teach them how to run the football. Novel idea.
3 - Carolina | Odds = 35 to 1
This has been the consensus pick as to Cowher's potential destination since he retired. He went to College there, he's got a home there, they've got lots of hot southern belle chickadees running around (well, maybe that wouldn't factor into his decision but it's true). What's not to like if you're Cowher? Well, call me crazy, but I just don't think this is going to happen. John Fox is the Panthers' longest tenured Coach (with a whopping six years of service), despite a couple of 7-9 seasons and a couple of 8-8 seasons. I guess it's a definite possibility and seems like a good fit. But I'm downplaying it because I just don't want it to happen. Sort it out for yourselves.
4 - Cincinnati | Odds = 112 to 1
I don't see much of a way this could ever work out as long as Chris Henry's on the roster. But nevertheless, I don't see the Bengals looking competitive at ALL this season and in fact, I'd project a 4-12, possibly 3-13 season for them. Which would mean Marvin Lewis may have finally wore down that patience machine of an ownership. So being an old AFC North rival, the Cincinnati brass might look in ol' Cowher's direction. But frankly, I don't think there are enough greenbacks in the world to make this happen. Plus, Cincy doesn't really worry about mediocrity, as evidenced by their sub .500 record seven out of the last 12 years.
5 - Cleveland | Odds = NOPE!
No. This cannot happen. I refuse to even indulge the thought. /plugs ears and closes eyes and hums...
And there you have it. Five potential options if the unfathomable should happen and Billy Cowher makes his triumphant return to Coaching.
Feel friend to let me know your thoughts in the comments...
PS - apologies for the subpar photoshops...I only have so much time now that law school is back in full swing and work is still kicking my ass.