Jeff Reed's St. Valentine's Day Massacre...

You know, I was really hoping to leave this week's Week In Review post at the top of the page until Monday. But thanks to Jeff Reed, it's gettin' the boot.

Here's all you need to know - [A presumably drunk] Jeff Reed + Sheetz + around 3 AM + empty paper towel dispenser = criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.

The moral of this story - Nothing good happens at Sheetz after 2 AM that doesn't involve Cheeseburgerz or Chili Mac and Cheese.

Now, carry on with your respective transferring of bodily fluids.

h/t Deadspin

Seriously though, if you haven't read the Week In Review, I strongly suggest you do. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Weekend, SECURED!

Well congratulations, you degenerates. You and I made it through another grueling week of work and/or whatever it is that you do between Monday morning and Friday evening.

And now, most of you [like me] get to enjoy a nice long weekend thanks to some old dead guys that no one has talked about much since 9th Grade history class.

Here's a little Outside Providence action to put you in the mood for the inevitable debauchery of your Friday evening.

Best movie of all time? Certainly cracks my top 10. It doesn't get much funnier than that clip right there.

Better beer up for this one, kids. You're gonna want to equip all beverages as soon as you can. Cheers and here's to making bad decisions!

Valentine's Day sucks.

Keep it real.

Hey, At Least He Doesn't Wanna Kiss You...

So for those of you who didn't seen it (myself included), Terry Bradshaw was on Jay Leno Monday night. Not sure how this one missed me, but my friend Megan alerted me to it earlier yesterday...

[Click to enlarge]


I'm sure she'll be thrilled that I'm posting this up. Sorry Megan, that's what you get for being my friend.

Anyways, you really need to well, watch the video. I was going to just lift the code from Gawker and paste it over here, but then I decided I didn't feel like getting sued.

Let's just say the ol' Blonde Bomber sounded like he got bombed himself...right before the show. Hopefully he did some Whiskey Shots with Mean Joe and Mel Blount because that'd be awesome.

Frankly, I'm not even going to speculate as to what else he's on. But...it's probably crystal meth. I mean, who ISN'T on crystal meth these days? Nobody, if you ask me.

It's either that or he's going through Howie Long withdrawal.

Smart money's on the latter.

Go chick 'er out fer yerself [Deadspin]

In case you didn't get the headline, see...

I doubt very many of you needed that memory jog...

Speaking of Jokes...

What Do Steely McBeam and Vincent Jackson Have In Common?

They've both been arrested for DUIs.

Congratulations, V-Jacks. You sir, are the smartest man alive. With impeccable timing to boot!

Here's a tip - if you're gonna go ridin' dirtay, you should at least have the foresight to call Sansmokio.

I couldn't laugh any harder at this if I tried.

Thanks to Tec for the assist!

Meeting People Our Pets Is Easy...

Wake up jagoffs, it's Friday! You've successfully drolled your way through yet another work week. And hey, only one more to go until Memorial Day weekend. So rock 'n roll.

Of course, being Friday and everything, today I offer you the latest edition of Meeting People is Easy. Last week, you met our Mothers. So now, as you'll notice by the headline, you shall meet our Canine and Feline companions. Our "pets" if you will.

You all remember my dog, Nikki. So I'll spare you a lengthy description. But just know that her favorite activities include - unraveling beefy looking rope toys, begging for table scraps or treats, riding with her head out the car window at 50 mph, and competitive eating.

In addition the illustrious Nikkister, we also have Domski's pup, Franco Harris. Yep, Franco. Harris. Name may sound familiar....Anyways, Franco really likes playing with Nikki, barking forcefully at the door, sleeping on people's laps, and unplugging the X-Box's internet connection. Whenever Franco's around, there's never a dull moment. The dog never ceases to amaze me...with his ability to evacuate waste indoors that is...

Next, we have Troy Polamalu Away Jersey. Troy would be the first of Domski's duo of feline friends. Troy was the first animal to grace the Domski house and so he holds a special place in all our hearts. Troy is a nice cat. But he's scared of everything. Either scared of, or pissed off at. All in all, he's a good cat. Sucks that every time Nikki comes to visit he has to spend like two days in the closet though.

And last but certainly not least, we've got Jerome Bettis, aka "Da Baby" (Domski's nickname, not mine). Bettis is the less timid of the feline pair. She (yes, SHE) can usually be found perched anywhere nearby no matter the occasion. Beer pong, she's on the counter next to you. X-Box, she's under your chair. The cat is everywhere (because whenever I'm at Domski's place we're either playing beer pong or X-Box...or both...at the same time). Probably a good hunter. So yeah, that's Bettis. Oh, and unlike the original, she has yet to fumble the game away...

Now that you're fully acquainted with our all-star poop machines four-legged friends, I give you - Meeting Our Pets Is Easy...as usual, if anything below appears blurry or illegible, click the image to enlarge.


Hope you enjoyed this week's what-have-you...you know, the blog, and stuff. Have a great and alcoholic weekend! Gotta go, they're warming up the beer bong for me...

PREVIOUS EDITIONS:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Mother's Day Special Edition