Jeff Reed's St. Valentine's Day Massacre...

You know, I was really hoping to leave this week's Week In Review post at the top of the page until Monday. But thanks to Jeff Reed, it's gettin' the boot.

Here's all you need to know - [A presumably drunk] Jeff Reed + Sheetz + around 3 AM + empty paper towel dispenser = criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.

The moral of this story - Nothing good happens at Sheetz after 2 AM that doesn't involve Cheeseburgerz or Chili Mac and Cheese.

Now, carry on with your respective transferring of bodily fluids.

h/t Deadspin

Seriously though, if you haven't read the Week In Review, I strongly suggest you do. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.