WIN.

Congratulations.

If you're reading this post it must be between the hours of midnight and nine AM eastern standard time.

Because after that, I'll have something real to post.

Turds.

That's a funny word.

Just wanted to say it.

Keep it real,


- C man

Reminder: Karma = STILL A Bitch...

HOLD EVERYTHING!

STOP THE PRESSES!

Najeh Davenport, the man who is infamous for having shat in a young co-ed's closet while a student-athlete at the University of Miami (FLA), had his car stolen and totaled by some 22 year old degenerate yesterday.

Now, obviously you don't need me to tell you that this is major news.

I mean, even though the Steelers cut Davenport last season, twice if I'm not mistaken, clearly he'll be ingrained in the minds of Steelers fans for years to come because of his epic contributions to the team. So, naturally you all are probably incensed at the audacity of this clown, Rodney Green.

I know I am.

In other news, Allen Rossum was caught jerking it to an Olsen twins movie, Sean Mahan's vagina was touched inappropriately, and everyone continues to not care about Ricardo Colclough.

You're welcome for the update on hot news in the world of Steeler alums.

Sarcasm is palpable today...

Enjoy the rest of your Wednesday.

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Face It, We All Knew This Day Would Come...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Nate Washington Rolling Them Dice...

Here's the part where I'm supposed to care that Nate Washington is now a Tennessee Titan.

Say what you will about the guy, but for as decent of a season as he put together last year, he had his share of problems.

Like, Exhibit A here. I think that actually may have been the most egregious violation...topping even the history of drops.

Dude was fast as hell, though.

And I will concede that this makes things kind of murky on the depth chart.

Who do you move into the #3? SWEED?

You think he can handle that? Certainly didn't instill a whole lot of confidence last year, but I'm hopeful.

I just want to know, if you're the Titans, how are you going to offer Nate Washington six years at $27 million (9 of that guaranteed)? Don't get me wrong, I love Nate Washington as much as the next guy. But that seems like an awful lot of money to throw at a guy who's already been in the league for a few years and was never more than a 3rd receiver?

But you know what? Good for Nate Washington. I'm sure he'll love Lendale White. I know I do.

Not.

Bruce Arians thoughts on Nate Washington's replacement...

"It'll be Limas, Martin Nance and whoever we draft, one of those cats...Limas has the ability to do it. He just has to continue to grow and be consistent."

Two words - Derrick. Williams.

Oh yeah, and don't look now but things are NOT going well between Silverback and the Steelers.

All good news for us Steeler fans today.

Here's a joke to lighten the mood...

Pop Quiz - What's the hardest part about roller blading?

Give up?

Answer = Telling your Dad that you're gay.

Full disclosure - that's not my joke.

And, that's the whole post. I think fatigue is beginning to get to me.

Feel free to discuss Nate's departure in the comments. I gotta go back to Evidence class now.


Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Stop The Presses!

The Steelers sign Doug Legursky to a two year deal.

Wait, who's Doug Legursky?

Oh yeah, practice squad Center.

$10 says this means we don't draft an O-lineman until at least the 4th round, again this year.

Nah, I'm just being a dick. I'm sure Doug Legursky is a solid individual. But it does sort of make me wonder what this means to the current O-line sitch.

Feel free to share any thoughts in the comments. And if you're Doug Legursky or any of Doug Legursky's extended family, congratulations!

Yeah...this is the kind of stuff that happens in the offseason...

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Oh, Mangina. You're gonna have some big shoes to fill out there in Cle-heave-land (copyright JPPB). No really, some BIG shoes...some big britches too...


Hope you are planning on bringing your appetite with you. Though, judging by your current girth, I figure you've got a good shot at following in ol Romeo's footsteps.

One might ask - Eric, do you really think this is a good career move? Me, personally, I wouldn't have even interviewed, but you know, more power to you. I applaud your idiocy optimism. And hey, at least you picked one of the teams that won't mind if you string together two or three disappointing seasons. They're used to it. Plus, you won't have to deal with Brett Favre. Actually, on the contrary, I'll bet Brady Quinn is a dream to work with. He can hold his clipboard AND yours like nobody else can. Maybe he can even get you some free Myoplex. Which reminds me, suck up all the team schwag you can. Wait, they're not paying you in schwag, are they? Oh right, and one more thing - invest in a closet full of shower sandals. I hear a Staph infection is pretty fierce!

As for the Browns, I guess they must think that the Patriots are a farm team or something. What's that obsession all about? I mean, I know the Pats are supposedly this century's first "dynasty," but like, how well did Romeo work out? Stallworth? Did Pioli even interview?

Whatever. This has failure written all over it.

Anyways, Mangina may be entering a world of pain, but these links will hurt so good (Did I seriously just reference John Cougar Mellencamp? Jesus, that's bleak)...

More toasting of the Steelers from China [PSaMP]

Even the LA Times, a major paper in a city with no NFL franchise, knows that the Steelers Offense is a farce...this is getting embarrassing [LA Times]

LT "doubtful" with torn labia tendon in his nether regions...so why do I feel like he'll still play? [Associated Press]

King of journalism = Ed Bouchette [Post-Gazette]

Browns hire Mangina, Braylon Edwards decides to train in Europe. That's rather interesting... [Orange and Brown Report]

Old School jersey war! I gotta say, though. HB - A Browns Testaverde? Dude. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante and Tirico Suave]

Pac Man Jones, like Anthony Smith, is obviously still mentally challenged [Shutdown Corner]

Best. Photoshop. Ever? [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

And finally, it's "Hip-Hop Songs That Sample Old Shit" day at the Riffs. So, um, be sure to check that out...or something... [Friday Morning Riffs]

Cue ridiculous picture of Mangina...doing something?

Philip Rivers Is The Answer...

You know what the problem is? I've figured it out. See, the problem is not that we're injured. Or predictable on Offense. Or stubborn. Or Bruce Arians. It's that I haven't written a completely ridiculous post about one of our opponents in a while. Semi-ridiculous, yes. That pretty much describes the majority of posts here. But not completely ridiculous. Those have been sparse of late.

Things started off strong this season. I was joking about everything. But now that we've hit this rough patch, I haven't really joked as much. Well, I mean, I guess everyday is pretty much a joke here at OFTOT. Most days the joke's on you guys for reading this crap, but whatever. Have I ever mentioned that I appreciate your support?

So, but I got to thinking, what could I write about that would lighten things up? What would be a classic OFTOT post in this particular situation?

Then I sat for a moment, wheels in my head turning like the cartwheels of a little girl at recess, and it hit me - I'll play a little game of, "What Is Philip Rivers Saying?"

I think you can pretty much see where this is going.

So I'm just gonna get on with it.


Yeah, in a minute, Ref. This chick is about to show us the goods!


Blue Steel.


I am yelling so hard right now. Look at how hard I'm yelling. So. Hard.


Oh no, buddy. YOU are bringing the fruit salad. I've got the bundt cake.


Philip Rivers' Thought Stream = "That's right, I'm Philip Rivers, bitch!"


...Wait a minute...this isn't... Good one, Google Images. You jokers, you.


HHHHHEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYOOOOOUUUUUUUU GGGGGUUUUUUUUYYYYYYYSSSSSSS!!!!!!!


Yo, I just farted in Merriman's helmet. High five! That dude's a prick!

So I'm gonna let Domski talk about football in the comments now. I have nothing of substantive value to add.

Except the Mike Tomlin quote of the day followed by a quick OFTOT retort, that is...Enjoy!

Tomlin on the importance of special-teams play this Sunday against the Chargers:

That element of the game has to be a winning edge for us. We've got to be ready to negate that element of their game.

Yeah, no shit, Mike. Ideally you'd like to negate that element of everyone's game. It's part of winning, dude. Oh, Tomlin. I love you, man!

Right, and Ben practiced yesterday. So there's that too.