This Was Going To Be A Good Post, And Then...

I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm all kinds of unprepared this morning. I was too busy jaggin' around with web nerd shit last night to put in any solid creative writing time.

But the good news is that at some point in the next month or two this site will start to suck less, visually. How much less, of course, remains to be seen.

Everyday I come here and I get so irritated by the template I have to work with. For Christ's sake, I can't even put YouTube videos on here without resizing them to fit. And solid black? Really? That's all you've got, Blogger? Oh, what's that? Solid white? Oh, ok, thanks. Yeah, that sounds so much better.

These are the choices I've been living with...

Plus, I'd like to also add some sort of social networking type of deal that is way less amateur than this Google Friend Connect nonsense. That's right, Google. I'm not afraid of you anymore!

This application kind of sucks. I mean, it's cool that we can all be "members" of something together and be "friends" with one another, but a comment wall? That's the best we can do, Google? How long did it take Johnny Harvard to come up with that one?

Baby steps, I suppose.

Meanwhile, I'm over it.

I can't create pages, this Followers application is horse shit, and these column widths are laughable.

I'm also eventually going to open Dreamweaver, figure out how that shit works, and get my hands dirty with a little actual web design. The sad part is, I kind of can't wait. I love figuring things out. I'll purposely don't go looking for help when I don't know how to do something, just so I can force myself to figure it out. I guess my brain likes to know stuff. Good thing someone around here does, 'cause I sure couldn't care less.

Anyways, I've got some ideas, but nothing I'd call a solid plan. So if y'all have any suggestions on things you'd like to see in the way of social networking, or really anything for that matter, by all means, let my ass know. Just let me be clear - this is not an invitation to email me about a date. Unless you're hot. And a chick. In that case, I'll make an exception.

So what else can we talk about this morning?

Don't look at me. This isn't my blog. I just hang out here.

Jussssstttttt kiddddddddinnnnnnggggg.

How about this - here is a list of questions that I've been pondering for the last day or so:

1. Will Bryant McFadden be a Steeler come March?

2. If not, how bad would that really be?

3. If Nate Washington is out, how does that affect our wide receiving corps?

4. Will this really be the year that the Steelers take an O-lineman in the 1st round?

5. How sick was Aaron Curry's 4.56 40 time?

And then finally, one quick service announcement: I know I joked about getting slaughtered in this Best Pittsburgh Sports Blog Tournament, but apparently I might actually have a shot here. So, not like it matters, but if you haven't already voted and wouldn't mind spending a few seconds over at Sean's pad, I would be very thankful.

Now, I believe I had some questions for you?

This Post Is Guaranteed To Let You Down...

The Oscars were last night, which means several things.

First, and most importantly, it means some sports blog out there is going to write a post this morning, cleverly comparing last night's winners to a bunch of professional athletes. This is the most original idea ever. This has never been done before. I can't wait to see how right I am.

Second, the fact that I watched them means I'm getting old. Traditionally, I used to be against watching this gayness. But as many of you know, one of the rites of passage of advancing adulthood is watching the Oscars, whether you care about who wins or not. Anyone over the age of, I'd say, 25, is pretty much obligated to watch this mess, myself included.

Third and relatedly, this year I realized something. I realized that there's actually more motivation to watch the Oscars when you don't care. I mean, like them or not, when are you ever going to get that many famous people in one place to hate on? My TweetDeck read like the back pages of an US Weekly last night (and yes, that may be the gayest sentence I've ever written).

Here were some of the more entertaining offerings...







Seriously, what was up with the Coldplay? Who'd they blow to get that kind of air time?

There were a lot more good ones later on in the evening, but I got tired of taking screen shots after I took those four. You can imagine where it went from there.

It appears they had a top notch Security team running the red carpet...

Drugs are bad, mmmmkay?

I joked last night that I was supposed to be Penelope Cruz's date, but I stood her up so I could write on my blog...

Moral of this story = I'm the only joke here.

I'm not really sure what to say about this...

There are so many things I COULD say, but I think that dress says it all.

Mickey Rourke has a silver tooth...

I guess silver teeth aren't just for The Pirates of the Carribean anymore?

Sophia Loren and Abe Vigoda are racing to see who can exist the longest...

Me thinks Sophia Loren may have lost some ground lately.

I'm pretty sure Emile Hirsch's date was a dude...

No hard evidence to support that, though.

Holy shit, look at how big this guy's forehead is...

That's an aggressive brow!

Whatever you do, don't stare directly into Tilda Swinton's eyes...

As usual, she looked like a dude.

Get a load of this guy's face...

HAHAHAHA!!! That's the only thing you can say to that.

Oh, and I hear that Slumdog Millionaire movie sucks.

Anyways, all things considered, I'd say I had a nice weekend. Did a lot of reading. Screwed around a little. Drank two solid Brooklyn Brewery beverages...

What's not funny about this is - There goes my disposable income for the next two weeks.

I also played around in Photoshop a little. I've been trying to work on a redesign of the blog, including a new header, and for some reason, I was sitting on my couch on Saturday and it hit me. Who's got one of the most famous thumbs-up poses in the history of the universe?

The Fonz, of course. No idea why I thought about the Fonz. No idea where that came from at all. But there it is. So then I thought - What other pictures of people giving a thumbs up could I use for some new goodness?

The following is what I came up with...


I erased this image from my hard drive (and my brain) and was too lazy to download this copy to photoshop the ring in, so...yeah. Oops.


I'm sure some of you will be tempted to make a comment about Rich Rodriguez. Don't bother. He's in Michigan. He can't hurt you anymore.


This is the Buddy Christ. But then, if you've seen Dogma, you already knew that. Religion, eff yeah!





Banana hammock.

Domski told me to design a ring since the Steelers haven't gotten their XLIII rings yet. But that sounded like too much work. Photoshopping someone's head on someone else's body is one thing, designing Super Bowl rings is a whole different story. One that I'm not even getting into. So I just used the XL ring instead. I'm sure you'll forgive me.

Here's a picture of a hot chick wearing a Lemieux jersey...

No real reason for that other than the fact that she's hot and she's wearing a Mario Lemieux jersey.

Lastly, I made it through the 1st round of Sean's Best Pittsburgh Sports Blog Tournament. Which means starting today, I'm up against Empty Netters in the Sweet Sixteen round. Since I know my chances of winning this are about as good as a cupcake's chances of survival at Romeo Crennel's birthday party, I'm not going to make a whole lot of noise about you voting for me. But if you feel like it, head on over and give me a nod. I'll high five you after.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The combine was on all weekend. I didn't get to see any of it, because I was too busy learning the federal rules for introducing hearsay evidence (and cutting myself). Also, because I don't get NFL Network. But mostly that first part.

I heard AQ Shipley was making some waves, though...

If that picture's any indication, it looks like he's fired up. Moon Tigers.

So, did you guys catch any of the combine? How was it?

PS - Tec's got some new digs. You should probably go check them out. This is a banner moment. For both man, and mini pony, kind. Now, go.

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