April 25, 2009

Put Your Hood Up...

DISCLAIMER: In case you're unfamiliar with Lil Jon's work, earmuff the little ones if you're going to hit play (and you might as well not even listen to 3:30-end)...

Well, that was a quick first round, wasn't it?

When they said the draft wasn't going to start until 4 this year, I thought everyone's Saturday night would be spent just like mine - at home, in front of the TV.

But to do it in less than four hours? Bravo, NFL. Way to do something right.

In any case, with the 32nd and final pick of the 1st round, our Steelers have taken Evander "Ziggy" Hood, Defensive Tackle from Mizzou.

First, I'd like to point out that there will be at least several blogs out there that will make a lame joke about either this guy's first name or his nickname. Not me. Screw that.

Second, I could've sworn they'd go OT here. Or at least I kind of wanted them to. I mean, you had Eben Britton sitting right there. But alas, like Brady Quinn being heterosexual, it wasn't meant to be.

Third, Hood fills what is some needed YOUNG depth along the Defensive Line. Big Snack, as much as I love the guy, isn't getting any younger. And unfortunately, neither is Chris Hoke. Nor Brett Keisel. Nor Aaron Smith. So this seems like a smart pick.

I'm not really what you'd call an expert, and I have yet to do much reading on Hood. But I have, however, heard that the Steelers plan on using him primarily as a DE, and only at DT on passing downs (thanks BTSC!).

Either way, let's be honest, Kevin Colbert has never failed us before...I doubt he'd pick today to start.

So welcome, Ziggy! You're part of the immortal Black and Gold now. Drink it in.

On a somewhat related note - Did the Browns set a record for number of times a team has traded it's pick in the 1st round? They had to have. I wonder how they feel about that in Cleveland? Too bad I don't give a shit.

They did get Alex Mack, though.

Of course they did.

If the Steelers had scouted some dude who fries the wings at Hooters the Browns probably would've picked him. Well played, Kokinis. And we'll see you on the field, Alex Mack.

Also, the Bengals, despite a major need for either a reliable parole officer or a taser to keep Chad Johnson in line, took Andre Smith. Summarily, Smith ate the card his name was written on and started to nibble the podium before he was gracefully whisked off stage. If the Bengals had a starting running back who wasn't named Cedric Benson, this pick might've really benefited them. Unfortunately, no.

And now that he's a Bungle, expect his first official business to be either exposing himself to a group of teenagers (gender of said teenagers left undefined on purpose), getting an RUI (Rollerblading Under the Influence), OR sodomizing Mike Brown. For the sake of Bengals fans everywhere, here's to hoping it's the latter of the three.

Finally, the Ravens traded up for Michael Oher. This is probably a good move for them. But since I'm too lazy to go check out their roster to confirm that, feel free to tell me I'm wrong in the comments. Either way, Oher is a great character guy. His story is a courageous one and I'm glad he's really made something of himself and is doing his adoptive family proud. Which will make it that much tougher to watch him get smoked by Silverback and/or The Wood next season.


Now I'm going to to do something constructive with my life since I wasted my entire day on hockey and football.

Back to drinking, you hooligans. I'll see you for Round 2 (UPDATE: No, I won't. We traded the pick. So get shithoused and I'll see you TOMORROW).

Oh, and if you have any thoughts about this pick, feel free to deposit them where you know they belong. And by that, I mean the comments. You probably thought I was going to make a joke, didn't you? I was feeling crazy so I switched it up.

Do it.

More on Ziggy Hood:
Kiss 96.1

Highlight Reel...

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.


Noah said...

no 2nd rounders, but 3 third rounders....making up for lost time.

Once our boys show Ziggy the ropes, I'm sure he'll be just fine....


What a game that was.

big TC said...

i actually love the trade, and I LOVE ZIGGGGGGY!!LESS GOOOOO!!!

can't wait to see what happens with our lovely 3 3rd rounders tomarrow.

Pat White to the Phins? Ugh..my best friend is WVU and Dolphins fan, so great....of course he goes to fuckin miami.

go pens.

domski43 said...

more talent for the best defense in football = good shit.