Something, Something, Bryant McFadden...

Good morning, my pretties. I trust you all had pleasant and fulfilling weekends. Me? Law books and web design. And awesomeness, of course.

I was going to photoshop McFadden in one way or another for this post, but then I watched a Foo Fighters concert on MSG instead. Don't worry, though. I more than make up for it below.

So, here's the "big news" this morning - The Lions traded Jon Kitna to the Cowboys!

No, just kidding. It's actually that Bryant McFadden is visiting some old friends out in the desert today.

Not that I blame them, but it's almost laughable how many Steelers have found their way West these past couple of years. And hey, why not? Russ Grimm's mustache is top 10 all time. McFadden would have a great facial hair role model to look up to.

Just look at that thing...

Russ Grimm's 'stache > Yours and your Mom's combined.

Sidebar - There was one really good picture of Grimm that I wanted to swipe so bad. But it was on the Redskins official blog and for some reason I felt I owed them a duty not to blatantly disregard the laws of intellectual property. No idea why I picked that exact moment to think like that...

Anyways, when I first thought about McFadden's free agency, it seemed like a no brainer. Keep him. He's young, he played solid this year (injury notwithstanding), Deshea is old balls. Why WOULDN'T you want to re-sign Bryant McFadden?

But after some thought, I've realized that if the price wasn't right, what are you gonna do?

We've still got Ike, Deshea and Willie Gay, and who knows, maybe we'll even draft a Corner in April.

OR maybe we're thinking about killing two birds with one stone and bringing in a DB/KR. You know, like maybe the Tennessee Titan's Chris Carr?

Come on, you know how Mike Tomlin feels about free agent kick returners. Haven't they ALL been free agents since he took over (Santonio doesn't count)?

I don't know. That's all I got.

Eff it, it's Monday.

Isn't the offseason fun?

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Geez, SI.com.



Not like there's a thousand games this weekend that you've gotta worry about. There are but only FOUR. And yet, it seems to have slipped one of your employees' minds that the Titans are playing the...Ravens. Yes, the Ravens. And NOT the Steelers.

But, you know, if Kevin Mawae wants to miss the Steelers game too, that's A-Ok with me!

I can only hope we make it to the next round to play Tennessee (hopefully) sans Mawae (providing he didn't play the following week either)...

Anyways, I really shouldn't be pointing out other peoples inaccuracies...what is that they say? Don't throw stones if you live in a glass house? Whatevs, I'm a blogger.

Some excellent links today. Be sure to check 'em all out one by one...

Tomorrow is Sean's Ramblings 4th Anniversary! And to mark this occasion in advance, Sean's written a State of the Blog address. One you should all go read. Sean's Ramblings is the epitome of what a blog should be [Sean's Ramblings]

I miss Cope, [sad face] [DC Steeler Nation]

[Unnamed] Steelers Gnome Show? Or Alternatively, some hot Gnome on Gnome action? I have no words [Dug E Fresh Rants]

Vern picks right up where he left off yesterday...that is, rebutting the notion that DeMarcus Ware got robbed of the AP Defensive POTY honors [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad!]

Jeff Reed's got a terrible new hair style. Fire Bob Ligashesky [Blog 'n Gold]

Great story on our boy, James Harrison. I HIGHLY recommend this one [New York Times]

Ike Taylor and Deshea Townsend just can't quit each other. Ike says he "does it for [William] Gay too." I'll stop now... [Trib]

File this one under "DUH." Somebody needs to remind the Trib that we're down a starting long snapper and punter...and we weren't that solid on Special Teams anyhow [Trib]

Vote HHR for Best Sports Blog of 2008! [HHR]

Would you want Oliver Perez back in the 'Burgh? [WHYGAVS]

Reason #452 why I love HFSS - A photoshop of Ryan Whitney melting some dude's junk by shooting laser beams from his eyes. I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying right now... [HFSS]

I still think Jenny McCarthy is easily one of the hottest chicks on the planet [on 205th]

TIGO's New Favorite Song of the Week - "Undead" by Hollywood Undead. I'm not a huge fan of the Undead, but I keep trying to give them a chance. If nothing else, it's definitely a unique (ish) sound [This Is Getting Old]

Punk rock day at Friday Morning Riffs. Be sure to check out what we dig up throughout the day! [Friday Morning Riffs]

Charles the Pug is awesome [Superhero.]

God Bless The Internets...

Hey, remember the time I posted that video of Michael Griffin saying stomping on the towel was unnecessary?

Well, that YouTube video has apparently become a venue for shit talk back and forth.

So if you're looking for a little dirty talk with Titans et al fans, I'd head over here and give 'em a piece of your mind.

Or just your piece across their face.

Either way...

APB: All Units...

I love it when anonymous douchebags come to comment on an old post thinking no one will notice.

Eat it, cock sucker.

Island of Class Amidst A Sea of Douchebaggery...

"You know, that's probably something we coulda cleaned up...and just win and act like we've been in this position before..."

At least one Titan has some sense.

For Steelers fans irateness, KDKA's got you covered.

Oh, and somebody tell Stephen A. Smith that it's the "IMMACULATE" Reception.

For someone who preceded that statement by saying how much he loves the Steelers, I'd expect him to at least get the name of one of the greatest sports plays in history correct. Nice work, Stephen A.

D'OH!

Hey guys, listen, I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is, that game yesterday didn't really mean anything big. The bad news is, it meant that the Steelers are apparently not ready to go toe to toe with the AFC's 1 seed.

But hey, we're still guaranteed the 2 seed. We've still got a 1st round bye. And we play the Browns this coming Sunday...who got shut out yesterday by...the BENGALS!

So yeah, of course I'm irritated. I was angrier than anyone yesterday. I was jumping around in the back room of the bar to the point that they were probably considering either cutting my ass off or sending my ass home. But, you want me to take that as a measure of how the Steelers will do in the playoffs? I hope not.

Turnovers. We served 'em up yesterday like they were going out of style.

Bottom line = You just can't win with four Offensive turnovers.

So let's not belabor the point. Here are this week's "Things That Were Awesome," "Things That Were Not Awesome," and "Things That Made Us Look Fraudulent."

THINGS THAT WERE AWESOME
1. Big Ben threw for 331 yards and 2 TDS!


2. Santonio had 5 catches for 93 yds and one serious TD catch!


3. Farrior had double digit SOLO tackles (10)!

Not on this play, though...

4. Silverback = your new Steelers single season sack record holder.


5. Hines Ward is hard as hell. 7 catches, 109 yds, 1 excellent TD!


THINGS THAT WERE NOT AWESOME
1. Silverback hurt.


2. Big Ben hurt.


3. We lost.

4. We lost.

5. We lost.

THINGS THAT MADE US LOOK FRAUDULENT
1. Big Ben's fumble on the 2nd drive of the 1st quarter.

[apricot]

2. Big Ben's fumble on the 1st drive of the 2nd quarter.

[blueberry]

3. Big Ben's interception on the 3rd drive of the 3rd quarter.

[peach]

4. Big Ben's interception on the last drive of the 4th quarter.

[cherry]

5. Jeff Reed missed a 33 yarder?


11-4, with the Browns coming to Pittsburgh next Sunday. Ken Dorsey.

Need I say more?

So let's just take the week and do some deep thinking...


And just for fun, here are yesterday's most memorable visuals...


Kerry Collins didn't throw any picks that I'm aware of...


Wait, Willie Parker played? Who knew?


I knew I shouldn't have eaten that second chimichanga before the game!


Oh no, not again!


Hey, baby...


What are you so happy about, you fat piece of shit? You still only average 3 yards per carry. Eat less Little Debbie, dickface.


At least Kearse's towel is regulation...


Unlike Keith Bulluck. Must've bought that monstrosity off of one of the dish washers at LP Field.


Yep, alright. Eat a dick, Jeff and we'll see ya in January...Oh, and take off those sunglasses. You look like a fruitcake.


Aw man, you guys, I am so high right now...


Hey, you think yesterday was tough for the Steelers? How about Whisenhunt's Cardinals? FAIL BLOG CITY! 41-7. Kurt Warner for MVP, you say? Eek...


And how 'bout them Browns? 14-0, Cincy. CINCY! Ryan Fitzpatrick. Congratulations, Cleveland. Win or lose Sunday, you 'effing suck.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's three days until Christmas and I've got approximately 78 beers in my fridge. I'll see you guys in the new year!


...kidding...

I'll be here later. And tomorrow.

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YES WE CAN!...run the ball...?

Alright, so as you know, I've basically just lost a whole week. Just sucked that shit right into a black void of death studying, law school did. So I figured that once I got a chance to finally play catch up yesterday, I'd have missed like, some really big stories...

But, no.

Is it just me, or did nothing happen this week?

I suppose that's a good thing. I mean, there's been the usual amount of media penile slurpage surrounding the next "hot" team of 2008, and it's #1 Defense. But other than that, what? The Steelers restructuring their ownership? Aaron Smith = AFC Defensive POTW? Keisel MAYBE playing on Sunday? Oh, well I guess there's also the whole spitgate thing with that insignificant Ravens Special Teamer. But I'm just saying, to me, those aren't exactly the most interesting headlines. Good, for the most part. But not so much things I feel I'd like to dedicate a post to. At least not today.

So what have I got for you this morning, then? I have absolutely no idea. I'm not gonna lie.

I could talk to you about Tennessee. And how if we stop Lendale White and Chris Johnson, it's going to be pretty tough for Kerry Collins to beat us with such notable pass catchers as Bo Scaife. And Alge Crumpler. And Justin Gage. And...Justin McCareins? I don't know, man. That just seems kind of "blah" at this point. We all know what needs to be done Sunday. So why dwell on it. Let's just do it. I'll drink some beers. Domski won't, as usual. And we'll hopefully come out with another BIG win.

The one thing I will say is - I'd really, really, really, really love our Offense to put together a good game on Sunday. I know that's asking a lot against a team with a stout defense like the Titans. But they'll be without their two top guys. So maybe it's doable. Really, I'd just like to see us run the God damned ball a little better. I can't say it enough, balance is key. Gotta keep 'em honest, ya know? If nothing else...like, maybe a 75 yard touchdown run...Master Fly W. Large, I'm looking at you! I mean, I know you've got a sandy crotch right now, and that you're sans fullback, which is further contributing to this prolonged vaginal irritation. But I have faith that you can have a standout game here, somewhere. Why not start with Sunday?

I don't know.

That's all I got.

Any other thoughts feel free to share.

By the way, do you think the Tennessean created "Whack A Steeler" so Albert Haynesworth and Kyle Vandenbosch won't feel left out on Sunday?

Oh yes, and I'd just like to put this out there, but...

Your Mom Goes To The Pro Bowl...

Hey TC, your boy Aaron Smith may not have made the Pro Bowl...but guess who's this week's AFC Defensive Player of the Week?

Yep.

If Aaron Smith were an Ice Cream flavor, he'd be, "I'm coming for you Sunday, Kerry Collins."

Or something like that...

Now someone get this man a helmet that fits for Christ's sake!

PS - As you're reading this, I'm probably in the middle of failing my last final exam of the fall semester. It's been real. It's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun, Fall '08. I'll see you the eff later! And last night's Property exam...kill yourself.

PPS - Tec, don't kill me for posting this...

No more random thoughts at this time.

Pop Quiz...

Kerry Collins

OR

Ben Roethlisberger

Who ya got?

...and I'm not talking about in beer pong...
PS - one down, two to fail go!

Who the Hell is Ryan Fowler and...

Why would any team offer him $10.5 million as a restricted free agent?

I mean, maybe if he was a top tier player I could understand it. But the fact is he's only started in three games for the Dallas Cowboys (his current team)and has really only been a presence on special teams!

Hey Sports Illustrated --
Sign of the Apocalypse ~ Restricted free agent LB Ryan Fowler signs 4-year, $10.5 million offer sheet with Tennessee Titans after rebuking a similar deal from the Philadelphia Eagles. Ryan Fowler, primarily a special teamer for the Cowboys, has only started a total of three games in three NFL seaons, let alone qualifying/playing in a pro bowl or any other meaningful game. Contextually, the $4 million he would be paid next year as part of the Titans offer, matches what the Steelers were scheduled to pay former 3-time pro-bowl LB Joey Porter next season...wait, did I mention he was an undrafted rookie free agent signing out of Duke? (not that there's anything wrong with that...)

Kevin Colbert is right man, this free agency thing is getting ridiculous!