That's Some Good Motivation, Dude...

“We all dream of doing great things. What are you going to do today to make it happen?”

- Mike Tomlin

So Mike Tomlin, quote machine and apparent Tony Robbins impersonator, spoke to the "9th Grade Nation" of Pittsburgh yesterday. Whatever the hell that means. And joining him was the ailing Chuck Batch and the $7 Million Dollar backup Man, Max Starks.

Now, all I can say about this is - I'm uber-jealous. When I was in 9th grade, the best we got was our boring ass principal. Not exactly glamorous and/or motivating if you ask me. "You guys can do anything you want if you put your mind to it." Yeah, lady? Like what? I mean I'd like to be at home enjoying an intense game of 007 for N64. But I can't do that, can I? Because I've gotta sit here and listen to you talk about how important 9th grade health class is to my education. Listen, I've seen all those girl parts already, but thanks for the heads up. 9th grade health...whatever.

We did have an interim principal when I was in 10th grade (Maybe 11th? Who can tell one from the other at this point?) who introduced himself by having the entire school choir back him in a rendition of R Kelly's, "I Believe I Can Fly," though. Which, you know, I thought was a nice touch. Singing the song of a known child molester to a bunch of not yet legal teenagers. Good work, man. But what you'll find most entertaining/shocking - I was part of that backup choir. Yes, you heard me. I was in the school choir. It's ok. Go ahead and laugh. I'm laughing just thinking about it.

So 9th Grade Nation of Pittsburgh - I sincerely hope you were motivated by Tomlin's smooth talking and whatever lyrical stylings Chuck Batch and Max Starks added. Because I can almost guarantee it was infinitely better than what I was forced to choke down.

Moral of this story - Being in the school choir = Nerd Alert!

PS - In case it wasn't blatantly obvious, the main reason for this post was to re-use that fine photoshop you see above. Man that's good stuff.

/pats self on back

OFTOT Week In Review...

OFTOT was in full force this week. So if you missed any of the unintelligent and uninformed commentary and you're masochistic enough to want to change that, here's a list of the main stories...

1. Tecmo and I made the worst Pre-Game Show in history

2. Tom Brady now has 150,000% more time to spend with Giselle

3. I played killjoy for three days to demonstrate a point

4. The Raiders sucked worse than Tommy Maddox

5. I wasted my breath taking Vince Young to task

6. Lamarr Woodley - shitload of nicknames and one badass photoshop

7. We made some new friends

8. Hey, aren't we playing the Browns on Sunday?

9. In case you've forgotten what a Steelers-Browns game looks like

Service Announcement - be sure to come back Sunday morning to check out the Pre Game Show Extravaganza and on Sunday evening to discuss the game as it happens with master of the liveblog - Tobiathan.

And make sure you tell 'em Black & Golddust sent you!

Now, everyone grab a mojito and rock out with your cock out. It's the freakin' weekend baby, I'm about to have me some fun. I suggest you do the same.

Cot-ter, end communication.