AFC North Headline Of The Day...

This should never ever show up in my Google Reader again. Something is clearly broken. Do I look like I want to read about a Kicker and a Punter's good fortune? Hell no!

In fact, out of all the positions on a football team, those two might hurt the worst. Because who couldn't kick a ball well if they really wanted to? Come on, you know all it would take is a little work. You don't need to be huge, you don't need to be fast. Hell, you don't need to be sober. Just ask Jeff Reed.

Anyways, good for these two, I guess. At the rate I'm going, I'll be lucky to make my first million by the time I'm 20 years in the grave. So multiple millions for multiple years sounds pretty cool. Just don't go blow it all on some fancy record player.

Moving on...

You go, Derek Jeter...


Stand by your man...

Oh that Derek Jeter, he's so supportive!

Here's your daily dose of FAIL, courtesy of me.

#1 - Following Directions FAIL


#2 - Credibility FAIL


Yesterday's mystery has been solved...

This is what an H Cup would look like. I'm not even going to get into it.

And now, on drums, Thursday's LINKS!!!!....

Again, VOTE. FOR. OFTOT. Hard. [Sean's Ramblings]

This guy won a trip for writing an essay about why he loves the Steelers. And yet, I've been writing about why I love the Steelers for over two years and I'm still waiting for mine.. [Post-Gazette]

People in Michigan LOVE The Wood...Woodley, that is. What did you think I meant? [Saginaw News]

How are you gonna fine Santonio $10k NOW? [Steelers Depot]

This Cardinals fan couldn't care less about that... [Raising Zona]

Terrell Suggs' gums will still be eating his teeth in purple next season, as he's been franchised by the Ratbirds [Associated Press]

Chargers franchise Darren Sproles. Shocker. [Associated Press]

Albert Haynesworth's life, on the other hand, is hitting the free market [Associated Press]

John Harris compares Therrien to Cowher [Trib]

You had to know the chronic had something to do with Marshawn Lynch's arrest. Did you SEE the mug shot? [Associated Press]

Alex Kovalev - go extricate his ass from Canada [Steve Is Alive]

As Pirates season moves closer, it's good to have expectations...as long as they're realistic [WHYGAVS]

Griffey back to Seattle [ESPN]

Ok, so why did Chris Brown beat Rihanna, then? [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad]

Ok, farbeit from me to make fun of someone for suing someone else, but come on...also, is your last name, "Boring?" If so, eek. [CNET]

Octuplet Mom faces foreclosure. I'm crying for her on the inside...NOT [CNN.com]

Theme of today's Riffs = Cover songs [Friday Morning Riffs]

Also, I've got a question. Why are those spelling bee kids always wearing shirts that are 10 sizes too large?

Is that like a rule? Not like it matters. They're still effing crazy one way or another. [h/t LJKC on this one]

In other news, I've decided to read less blogs. Is there anyone out there who DOESN'T have a blog? You know it's a sorry state of affairs when you actually start to agree with the MSM. There's a lot of trash out there on this world wide of web. I aim to take some of it out...of my life.

That is all at this time.

Cotter, out!

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Kurt Warner Is For The Birds...

The Super Bowl, how sweet it is
One game, everything at stake
And not a minute too soon
Let's do this thing for Christ's sake

We've waited two very long weeks
For this one day to arrive
Let's go get another ring
To add to our current five

The Wood's got a taste for Cardinal
After feasting on Raven
Kurt Warner's in his sights
Time to break him, make him give in

Larry Fitzgerald is a force
And Boldin's no slouch either
The Steelers hands will be full
I hope Ryan Clark will be there

Big Ben was born ready for this
Willie is ready to rock
Hines Ward's knee may be gimpy
But he'll still throw a few mean blocks

Whisenhunt may "know" the Steelers
But Lebeau knows Whisenhunt
This is the Super Bowl, man
And the Steelers are on the hunt

Throw all the rules out the window
Numbers mean nothing today
All that matters is a win
It's time to sit back and say

HERE WE GO, STEELERS! HERE WE GO!

Tonight, The Wood Dines on Bird...

Twice is nice
But three times would be great
The Wood's getting all fired up
Getting ready to bring the hate

Joe Flacco's no slouch
But he's still no Big Ben
Make him throw the ball
And you'll see he's a Blue Hen

This one is gonna be rough
At least that's what I'm thinking
I'm nervous as all hell
And I've already start drinking

I want the Steelers to win
So bad that it hurts
I don't even care if it's pretty
Honestly, whatever the hell works

Yet another game for the Steelers
Let's hope it ends well
And hey, if by some chance it does not
Ray Lewis, Steely McDevil will see you in hell

HERE WE GO, STEELERS! HERE WE GO!

OFTOT Week In Review - Week 16...

I don't know if I'll really be doing a Week in Review next week, what with it being Christmas and all. I'll still be posting, most likely, except for Thursday. But I doubt there'll be a whole lot to recap. Although, I suppose I could say the same for this week. So but anyways, where I'm going with all this is - after Christmas, it's going to be a new year.

2008 was a rough one for the C-man. And not because he just referred to himself as the C-man. Though, I imagine that's part of it.

I usually don't talk about my real life much on here. Sure, I talk about things I've done or rude observations I've thought about making. But like, things about me that don't include drinking (or the lack thereof, as some might try and tell you).

This year, some pretty big shit happened to me. And not in a good way. At least not at the time. By now I'm starting to feel pretty good about things again. But it certainly wasn't like that all year, much as I might let on otherwise.

It's not really important, of course. But I wanted to give the new year a semi proper treatment. And to be honest, I wanted to do it for a weekend post that only 15 of you will read (and to you 15, I appreciate it!).

I'm just hoping 2009 brings great new things. I've pretty much had enough of 2008, and I'm ready to make '09 my year. Hopefully, the Steelers will follow suit early on, and maybe if we're lucky we'll get to see more than one round of playoff action next year ('09, not the '09-'10 season).

But that's next year. This WEEK, we talked about a few things, while I had my head firmly burrowed in books that rival the thickness of a Tolstoy novel. Those things were...

1. We became 2008 AFC NORTH DIVISION CHAMPS!!!

2. And that was due to some serious clutch play in the 4th Quarter last Sunday.

3. Easiest pop quiz you'll ever take...

4. If you'd like to get me something for Christmas, this'll do.

5. Anyone else gettin' real tired of angry Ravens fans?

6. Aaron Smith haunts the AFC Defensive Player of the Week award like he'll haunt Kerry Collins' dreams after Sunday.

7. Kiss my ass, Fall 2008 semester!

8. The Steelers? Running the football? Nah, that'll never happen...

9. The sole AFC North Headline of the Day WEEK!

10. Reminisce yesterday, drink like a Champion today!

And for you audiophiles, don't you fret. Here are this week's riffs...
1. Party Hard - Andrew WK
2. Jibbs ft. Chamillionaire - King Kong
3. Unchained - Van Halen
4. Rollout - Ludacris
5. Burnout - Green Day

Bonus selection...
Where The Streets Have No Name - U2

We're going to do our best to get you a show for tomorrow. We'll tape, and hopefully get around to editing before all of the esteemed guests arrive for tonight's melee. But I can't make any promises. You'll just have to stop by around Noon tomorrow and see if we're better human beings than our behavior might normally suggest (smart money's on yes, that we are).

As for a gameday liveblog, unfortunately, that is an impossibility. See, even though this is supposedly the biggest game of the weekend, CBS has chosen not to show Steelers-Titans here in NYC. Instead, we could either watch 3.5 hours of "paid programming," or go to the bar. Where they serve beer. Cold beer. And have large TVs everywhere. Man, it's gonna suck.

See y'all tomorrow and HERE WE GO STEELERS!

PS - Sorry for getting all emo on you. It's a disease I'm trying to shake.