September 27, 2008

OFTOT Week In Review...

Look, my parents don't like me cursing. In fact, I think I already hear my mom dialing as we speak. When I was little, they used to scold me for uttering such angry words. Of course, who cared about scolding. I just learned how to fucking say shit, you motherfucking asshole. They were not pleased. Their friends used to call me "the poster child for birth control." I was an annoying kid.

But here's the thing - where do you think I learned all that? It wasn't my kindergarten teacher, you know. I learned it by watching you! Er, them. You knew what I meant, quit looking at me like that. Nevertheless, my parents maintain that they never so much as thought about swearing in front of me. This, of course, makes them liars AND swearers.

Sure, they're all peaches and cream when you're hanging out in the living room, building a fort out of pillows, around a large circular wickerbasket in which you plan on putting your little sister and making Kelley Stew. But get them behind an 80 year old on a back road with a double yellow and that shit starts to spew out like liquid hot magma. And if you don't believe me, ask my sister...who has already stopped speaking to me.

No, seriously, my parents curse now about as often as Sarah Palin lets her hair down. And I really do try and refrain as much as possible on OFTOT. But I thought that'd make an emotional scar go away a fun story to share.

Anyways, we had some fun this week. Talked civilly. I think we really bonded in a positive and encouraging way. Oh wait, that's right. We ranted. Now I remember. Just in case you jagoffs forgot, here's the recap...

1. We cried a little about last Sunday

2. We paraded around some potential new hairstyles for me.

3. We waxed satirical about something that isn't really funny.

4. We got some shitty news.

5. We set off a firestorm with this little bugger.

6. Firestorm continued.

7. We saw Domski in a Joe Flacco jersey (was not drinking).

8. We met some cool new friends.

9. We talked about Monday's game some more.

And as always, be sure to check back here Sunday for the 4th Episode of The Artist Formerly Known As [Unnamed] Steelers Show. Since we've got a Monday night game this week, I haven't talked to Tobiathan about liveblogging this sucker. But chances are he will be.

Now if you'll all excuse me, I've gotta go answer this phone.



Noah said...

Just an FYI, Did anybody hear about Mendenhall texting Ray Rice about having a big game against Baltimore? and then Rice then showed his teammates... and now they're all out to get Mendenhall. The funny part is, he tried to apologize. Boy, you have a lot learn in this league.

1. Don't fumble.
2. Don't antagonize the lowest yardage defense in the league (even though it was the browns and bengals)
3. Don't suck.

That's all I got.

tobiathan said...

I'll most def be doing my thing on Monday night. The proverbial wild horses couldn't keep me away. Not real ones either...

tobiathan thinks Mendenhall will struggle..then explode onto the scene said...

And i dn't hear that about Mendenhall- he obviously hasn't yet realized that the NFL is a world of disproportionate, inflammatory journalism and overblown claims of rivalries and vendettas.

Hopefully he learns to say less and do more...