Santonio Holmes Was Going To Have A Preliminary Hearing...

But then he got high.

You know it's a bad day when you find yourself making the most blatantly obvious joke in the history of blatantly obvious jokes.

Speaking of jokes, Jeff Reed is an asshole.

I actually had this whole long rant of about three paragraphs written about this, but then I realized, who cares. I said all that needed to be said about it two sentences ago.

Anyways, the purpose of this post was to tell you that Sansmokio has waived his right to a hearing and will either get a fine or probation, or he'll have a trial, at which he'll probably get either a fine or probation.

And remember, kids...


Still dealing with what feels like several tiny people hacking away at my brain with pick axes. Good thing I've got 40 pages to read right now. That should work out pretty well.

Thoughts?

Didn't think so.

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Tim Worley Knows Many 4 Letter Words...

and strangely, not one of them is "stop."

I find it oddly appropriate that with the draft mere days away, a former Steelers 1st round bust draft pick is making news. Those of you who stalk scan the uber-sports blog Deadspin religiously like I do will already know this - but for those of you who don't, former Steelers RB Tim Worley was both arrested for DUI and tasered last Sunday.

[Side Note: Thankfully, the interweb gods have this under control and his Wikipedia page has already been updated...]

Now first of all - What kind of person gets busted for DUI on a Sunday? Isn't that like a violation of one of the Commandments? Thou shalt not let the po' po' catch thou ridin' dirtay on the holy day? Ok, so it was Sunday morning at 3:30 AM. But it's a lot funnier when I leave that part out...

Second of all - In what alternate universe must Tim Worley be living where forcibly resisting arrest doesn't get you tasered? Dude, if they're trying to put some cuffs on you, let 'em do it. I mean judging by your short-lived career and now this, you need all the brain cells you can get.

Which brings me to my last point - Why the hell am I writing about this? Is it Monday? It must be. This is bush league. I'm going back to bed...

'Til next time...remember kids, getting tasered is no fun. Respect the law. Watch the video.

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
This Week's Tasered Athlete - Tim Worley [Deadspin]

Steely McWalkingPSA...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Dan Rooney Did Not Inhale...

"What Jimmy Harrison was doing and how the incident occurred, what he was trying to do was really well worth it...He was doing something that was good, wanted to take his son to get baptized where he lived and things like that. She said she didn't want to do it."

- Dan Rooney

Dammit guys, Dan Rooney is at it again! I mean, what a controversy machine. First the Rooney rule, now this? It's like he's looking to purposefully make waves...

Ah sarcasm, how I love thee.

Anyways, so I figured I should just weigh in on this whole Dan Rooney comment thing. Because, you know, OFTOT is like, a serious, responsible journalistic outift...and stuff. Ok, I'll stop now. But seriously, I'd like to take a crack at it here, if I might...

So Dan Rooney's controversial comment is above. And naturally the part that everyone's got their panties in a bunch over abuzz over is where he seems to say that James Harrison hitting his girlfriend was justified because he wanted to take his son to get baptized and the bitch she wouldn't let him.

Here's what I think - Number one, Rooney also said about 100 times over the course of his news conference that "the Steelers do not condone domestic violence," or other such things. Number two, the Rooney family and the Steelers organization have a pretty good track record when it comes to character (Bam Morris and recent events notwithstanding). I'm pretty sure given that actions speak louder than words, Dan Rooney meant nothing more than what he later clarified he meant - James Harrison did not go to his girlfriend's house with the intent to hit her, whereas Cedrick Wilson knew where his girlfriend was, and sought her out with the intent to either hit her or do some type of damage. That, my friends, was the determinative difference.

What he said explicitly was certainly puzzling. But any attempts to chalk it up to anything more than poor word choice are ill conceived. In otherwords, some people (read - Ravens fans) will naturally want to take any discrepancy and blow it up to something it never was. But frankly, I have to give the man the benefit of the doubt here.

Of course if this were Bill Belichick saying shit, I'd be the first one to blow it out of proportion...so yeah...Bill Belichick is a dick.

Comments on this whole sitch (Rooney's comments not the fact that Belichick is a dick)?

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Rooney's Rationale in Abuse Case Leads to Criticism [Post-Gazette]
Steelers Explain Wilson's Release; Rooney Clarifies Statements [Post-Gazette]

Further Proof That Karma Is A Bitch...

Cedrick Wilson - it's been real, it's been fun...but it hasn't been real fun.

Make sure the door doesn't hit you in the ass on your way out...or let it hit you...frankly I don't really care.

In case you'd like more detail as to what I mean - Wilson was released this morning after his arrest last night on charges of criminal (simple) assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. It's a shame that he had to go out like this, but on the bright side, at least he's out. And just so you guys know - domestic violence is still not cool (official statement).

Any thoughts from the peanut gallery (IE - you guys)??

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Steelers Release Wilson [Post-Gazette]
Wilson Released [SteelCityInsider]
Steelers Release WR Wilson After Arrest [Tribune-Review]

Guess We Probably Could Have Seen This Coming...

Please excuse the poor Photoshop job here...you get the idea.

So ummm, apparently Ed Reed's not the only bitch Silverback likes to smack in the mouth...

For those of you who have yet to read about this nice little black mark (or should I say red mark) - Our own beloved James Harrison was arrested Saturday for allegedly breaking down the door to his girlfriend's bedroom, snatching her cell phone from her, breaking it (yes, the phone) in half (!!!) in an attempt to keep her from calling 911, and slapping her across the face. He is consequently being charged with one count of simple assault and one count of criminal mischief.

I'm not particularly sure what to say here beyond - wow, that's pretty shitty.

I mean, come on Silverback, you're better than that...at least I thought you were. Guess this gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Silverback Attack"...way to go asshole.

For reference on the headline, see below:

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:


Exhibit C:


PS - his court date is set for this Thursday, March 13...anyone interested in tailgating?

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Steelers' Harrison Faces Assault Charges [ESPN]
Steelers Harrison Charged [Post-Gazette]
Steelers James Harrison Arrested for Allegedly Assaulting Woman [KDKA]
Steelers LB Charged With Slapping His Girlfriend [Fanhouse]