Help FWP AND Help The Kids...

My friends over at FedEx Ground have nominated the Fast One for FedEx Ground Player of the Week based on his stellar performance in last Sunday's game. Which should be reason enough for you to go vote.

But in addition to the accolades, if Willie wins, FedEx will donate 1,000 bones to the Safe Kid's Coalition of Allegheny County. The organization works to prevent accidental injuries among children, which as I'm sure you don't need me to tell you is both a worthy cause and a tall order.

So go vote for Willie. It only takes a second and everyone wins.

The Many Faces of Willie Parker...

Just kidding. Sort of. Willie Parker is Willie Parker, for all intents and purposes. But everyone seems to love Clinton Portis' playful alter egos. So I got to thinking - what if Willie Parker dreamed up some creative aliases of his own? Well, I've gone ahead and done the legwork for him. And you all.

The results are below.

Read on and don't forget to vote on the poll to your left for whichever strikes your fancy.

And now, I introduce you to...

#1 ~ Master Fly W. Large

This is an easy one. Obviously FWP would have an alter pimp personality. At first, I thought maybe he could just call this one FWPimp. But then I thought - that's not nearly fitting enough. What would CP do? And then I discovered the Pimp Handle Generator, which gave me - "Master Fly W. Large." Thank God Al Gore for the internets.

#2 ~ Admiral Franklin W. Pennington

Commander of the Allegheny. Mighty Captain of the Monongahela. Expert navigator of the Ohio. Admiral Pennington puts the motion in the...well, river. But he does it in style. See that hat he's got there. Fierce! Nobody weathers a storm like the Admiral (as he's called for short). He'll man the steering wheel, raise the mast and swab the deck all at the same time. Take 'em to the brig, private Mendenhall!

#3 ~ Barack Obama

Not really. Just wanted to keep you on your toes.

#4 ~ The Anklebreaker

Three-time NFLWF World Champion and amateur hair model. You've heard of The Undertaker. This is his darker counterpart, The Anklebreaker. Standing an intimidating 6'7," The Anklebreaker is a force to be reckoned with. His finishing move is the "Double Juke" and it leaves opponents with two broken ankles and a severely bruised ego. The Anklebreaker doesn't mess around. You come in his path, he's going to take you down to Chinatown. Or perhaps in this case, the Strip District.

#5 ~ Johnny Smoothlove, The 3rd

One part Bob Barker, one part Jude Law, and all charm. Smoothlove comes from a long line of womanizers and has reportedly slept with a solid 700 ladies, at last count. He makes his home in a houseboat docked in Malibu, CA and has similar outfits in London, Rome and Paris. Fathers hide your daughters, here comes Johnny Smoothlove, the 3rd.

What was all that? ... No idea. Terrible. Really, awful. This party sucks, I'm out.

Help FWP Help The Kids...

If you read One For The Other Thumb with any regularity (and god bless you if you do), you'll know I very seldom write any kind of remotely serious post. But tonight is an exception to that rule.

I just wanted to urge you all to go vote for our own Sir Fast William Everette Parker as FedEx's Ground Player of the Week. And as if sheer allegiance wasn't enough motivation, if Willie is voted the winner, FedEx will donate $5,000 to the Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh.

So do your civic duty and go vote his ass in. I wanna see a bunch of smiling faces at that Children's Hospital come Friday night. What are you waiting for, get to it!

[Vote FWP]

Notes and What Not - Steelers v. 'Skins...

Tomorrow night. At FedEx Field. Everyone. Gets. Laid.

Ok so that's a line from PCU (if you haven't seen it you're either only 19 or you are severely deprived), but it does look like the Steelers first team offense and defense are going to get a little more work this weekend than they have the past couple preseason games. At this point, Tomlin is obviously getting close to his final evaluations, trying differnt options at different positions and in different capacities, so we can expect to see some unusual things. Positive unusual things? Who knows. But potentially yes.

Here's a few notes I got from this morning's Post-Gazette report, some related to tomorrow's game, some of just general preseason relevance:

• Possibilities on the O-line:
  • Trai Essex at Left Tackle
  • Willie Colon at Right Tackle
  • Marvin Philip, still has a long way to go to even be included in conversation with Chukky Okobi and Sean Mahan
  • Max Starks winning the One For The Other Thumb "Weakest Link" Poll, so far garnering all votes (though only 3 votes have been logged...jagoffs)
  
  
• Willie Parker and James "Silverback" Harrison to play...finally. Still no Timmons though.


• Ryan Clark will probably start at Free Safety for the injured Anthony Smith. Also may be holding his ground amidst Smith's bid to overthrow him in the starting role...mixed feelings on that.


• Gary Russell's blocking and maybe pass catching skills will likely be tested, as Tomlin evaluates him for the final roster.


• Walter Young, this one's anybody's guess but Tomlin loves his determination (it's his 4th camp with the Steelers).


• Nate Washington, dropped a couple passes, nothing to lose sleep over and it's certainly not due to lack of confidence.


• Brian St. Pierre, "some teams keep two quarterbacks, some teams keep three...what Brian has done to this point has not been disappointing"...Straight from the horse's mouth.

Plus, here's some other random shit to write home about...sarcasm is thick today:

• Everyone's favorite Sports Illustrated Columnist, Peter King, has posted his "All-Future" team for 2012. Steelers players included - Zero, Steelers Coaches included - One. Yep, King (catching us all by surprise, since he overlooks the Steelers pretty readily) noted Mike Tomlin to be the Dream Team Head Coach of the future. Guess it's not all cobwebs in that noggin' Peter.


• FoxSports.com's Steelers Team Report focuses on the Steelers moving away from Dan Kreider into a non-fullback offense. In doing so, they point out the Carey Davis/John Kuhn factor -- that one or the other will likely make the cut as a tailback/fullback. Guess the end may really be near for Kreider and the Steelers...I'm fighting back my tears...seriously.


• Even the Baltimore Sun is getting in on The Smoking Gun's outing of the Steelers hotel demands the other day...


• More bad news for Cincy...not like I care, we'd beat 'em with Hines Ward playing DE!

That's all for now, have a great weekend dudes and dudettes!

Throw One More Up for Fast Willie...

Parker, Fast Willie Parker that is.

The man who arguably led the Steelers offense last year just got another strong vote of confidence** from all around cool guy and Sirius NFL analyst/Fox Sports correspondent Adam Schein - who named him one of his top NINE (interesting number for a "top" whatever list) "most underrated stars".

Schein only briefly discusses each player, so he doesn't really have time to mention the exemplary numbers Parker posted last season. However he does make it a point to call out Steeler fans for continuing to clamor for a traditional "big back" despite the fact that Willie was the most consistently reliable offensive weapon last season - his third(thanks Mike for correction...tough week) season in the league and first in the absence of Jerome Bettis.

Schein's right to call it ridiculous, you know -- I mean I myself, while I love Willie and his ability to break a game wide open, still kind of feel deep down that we need another big back. Not to take over the primary ball carrier role, I think Willie has that more than covered, but someone who on 3rd and short can come in and bust through the line for that much needed yardage. Plus, there are a lot of Steeler fans that would take that one step further to say we need a big back to pound it through on every down with Willie stepping in only occasionally.

Regardless, Willie Parker is definitely underrated by both the general public and many Steeler fans alike (though the latter are dwindling 50 yard TD run by 50 yard TD run). I'm just glad he is getting some well-deserved recognition...now let's hope he builds on last year's success and has another pro bowl campaign in 2008.
And also, has anyone noticed - boy, do...I...love...me... some lists...

**Not to be overlooked - Chris Hope also made this list...

Link - Willie Parker Fan Club