0-3 Would Be UnBEARable...

[Editor's Note: Can't even express how irate I am that I have to post on this old ass POS blogger shit right now. For some reason, I can't get anything to publish on the real OFTOT. Also, I wrote this like three days ago and was at my buddy's wedding from Friday night until now (Sunday) without checking the internet. So, my apologies for whatever state this thing is in. Blame Google or something, and here we go.]

Without question, this game is infinitely more about the Steelers  than it is about the Bears.

This  should pretty much be the case any time your team decides it needs to  hold an all players meeting in Week 3 of the NFL season.

And what a week it has been.







Until the Browns Brown'd it up on Wednesday night, there wasn't a whole lot else worth writing about for people who get paid to try and generate page views.

This is the kind of thing you have to have a sense of humor about.

Is it funny?

Not really.

But dwelling on things you can't change for too long is part of the reason that Xanax exists.

Of course, there's nothing funny about going 0-3.

Everyone  in the Steelers locker room has said they're pointing a thumb at  themselves as who's to blame, but I hope someone - namely, Mike Tomlin -  is in fact pointing a finger at each and every one of them as well.
      
When you can't produce jack shit on offense, and can't come up with impact plays on defense, that's an unsustainable situation.

Good if you're looking for a high draft pick, but not if you plan to do any winning.

And  all this rhetoric about the standard and things being unacceptable, I  hope this is being communicated emphatically to what is largely a young  locker room, not necessarily yet acquainted with the full reality of the  NFL.

But at least we know they're now no longer allowed to play pool or ping-pong during business hours.




















Unbelievable.

Now, the Bears at home on Sunday Night Football might be exactly what we need right now.

No, I'm being serious.

The Bears are as talented as anyone, on both sides of the ball, but they're far from unbeatable.

They  might be 2-0, but don't ignore the fact that those two wins have come  in margins of three points and one point to the Bengals and Vikings  respectively, and in both cases, they were come-from-behind wins, the  latter having been eked out with 10 seconds left in regulation.

Of course, this is what good teams do.

Given all that's happened with the Steelers lately, perhaps you've forgotten, but it's about finding a way to win.

The only stat that matters is wins.
      
Nothing  else gets you into the playoffs, unless there's some sort of  underground shit going on in the NFL that I don't know about.

However, the fact that Jay Cutler is throwing the ball alone gives me hope.
      












Put it this way - if the Steelers can't suss a turnover out of Jay Cutler, they ain't gonna get one.

This  game is being played in our house, in front of a nationally television  audience, and you better believe the fans coming to the game are fully  prepared to boo someone, whether they be wearing white or black.

I don't know why I'm telling you guys this, I hope someone is telling the Steelers this.

Anyway, on the outside chance that any of you still care, let's just get into the preview here.

Because hey, just because the Steelers have been a hot mess, that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun, right?

It'll be therapeutic, I promise.

So, let's begin our session.

Quarterback:



















DOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN'TTTTTTTTTTT CAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!

Running Back:














Only the second position to review, and things are already about to start  getting dicey.

If you thought I drafted a lot of Bengals in fantasy, you're gonna love me this week.

So, I drafted and own Matt Forte in fantasy, which presents an obvious conundrum.

Do I have enough faith in the Steelers defense to bench one of my starting RBs and best producing players?












Wait, I mean...HEY LOOK IT'S A PICTURE OF JACK LAMBERT AND A GOOSE!






















File those shorts under "things you can't un-see."

Just ask Brian.

Wide Receivers:     
Brandon Marshall, an inflatable butt pillow, a container of Vick's VapoRub, and a couple of Russian nesting dolls make up Chicago's receiving corps.

So yeah,  I actually also drafted and own Brandon Marshall aka "The Beast" in fantasy...so again, I'm pretty well acquainted with his contributions to the Bears offense.

Basically, anytime you're defending a guy who's almost as big as a tight end but with more speed and probably better hands, it isn't exactly going to be a party.

But of course if anyone's up to the task, we'd have to assume it's Jon Gruden's new man crush...











Face Me Ike.

Tight End:



















The only stat you really need to know is that Martellus Bennett has more TDs through two games than the entire Steelers offense (3 vs. 2), which has led ESPN to project his overall total for the year at a mind bending 24, which also makes me scared to even ask what they would project the Steelers' offense's total to be.
      
Also, if you're noticing a trend in TEs becoming way bigger offensive threats recently, congratulations, you've been paying attention.

Good thing the Steelers are also riding this trend hard, fielding the formidable David Paulson for the immediate future.

Pro tip for you pervs - Google image search "Bears cheerleaders".

Or, you know, go watch some porn.

This is the internet, isn't it?

Offensive Line:

















Wanted to use a clip from the Bears Superfans SNL skit, but YouTube came up garbage on this one.

Either way, I hope these ladies refer to themselves as the Ditka Chicks...you know, like Dixie Chicks, but with mustaches and less whining.

Anyway, left to right - Jermon Bushrod, Matt Slauson, Roberto Garza, Kyle Long, Jordan Mills.

$17 million guaranteed from Chicago and Jermon Bushrod can't even update his Twitter background.

Matt Slauson comes from Sweet Home. Yes, that's an actual town in Orgeon, and no, I'm not referring to the time he spent with Mark Sanchez over the last few years, although I'm sure that was sweet as well.

Roberto Garza may be the longest tenured Bear on this squad outside of Lance Briggs (still not even sure how you play Center at a high level at 34 years old), and at one point was one of only 19 Hispanic players among 1700 total players in the NFL, so respect. Might wanna throw something on his website, though.

In addition to being spawned from the dong of Howie Long, Kyle Long is also the Bears 1st round pick from this most recent draft. Subsequently, he has become the first Guard in Bear's history to start as a rookie. He also  was apparently  drafted by the Chicago White Sox before college. Could you imagine a 6'6", 311 pound guy playing baseball? How would he even swing a bat?

Anyway, Jordan Mills is the other rookie starting on the Bears offensive line, out of the distinguished alma mater of one Terry Bradshaw, and is the lowest drafted rookie starter in the league right now.

Jay Cutler has been sacked exactly one time this season.

And the Steelers defense has exactly one sack for the season.













Hope Jarvis Jones and Lamarr Woodley wear their big boy pants this weekend.

I just realized I put way too much effort into this section.

Defensive Line:

















Corey Wooton, Henry Melton, Stephen Paea, and Julius Peppers.

Corey Wooton was responsible for the concussion that ultimately led to Brett Favre's exit from the NFL, as well as the only full sack the Bears defense has secured this year.

I've pretty much learned zero about Henry Melton through creative Googling, besides the fact that he is the Bear's franchise player this season, and despite the fact that he has zero sacks so far, he is a 2012 pro bowler who's logged 13 over the past two seasons at DT (a not insignificant point).

I can't get past the fact that despite whatever the true pronunciation of his last name is, I can only see his name as Stephen Paella.
      
And Julius Peppers gonna Julius Peppers, despite his one tackle so far in 2013.

Linebackers:















Lance Briggs.
   
Well, then.

DJ Williams.



























True story.

And Mr. Anderson.
      
      
If you don't know that reference, go watch Beavis and Butthead Do America immediately.

Secondary:
      
Tim Jennings, Peanut Tillman, Major Wright, and Chris Co...AH WHAT THE HELL NO ONE CARES.

Coaching Staff:
      
Still wasn't sure who Marc Trestman was, so I Wikpedia'd him, and  apparently not only do we share the same birthday, but we both have degrees in political science, and both went to law school.

OH YEAH WELL  DOES HE WRITE A BLOG THAT AT LEAST 12 PEOPLE READ ON A WEEKLY BASIS TELL ME THAT WIKIPEDIA INFORMATION GOD OF THE INTERNET?!?!?!

Tim's Tea Party:
Whatever that was on Monday night goes directly to three things:  the Steelers can’t run the ball, can’t block, and no tight end to take the pressure off of Ben (looking at you Mr. Paulson). Meanwhile the Steelers made this guy...










look like a Pro Bowl QB.  The D played well enough and Ike did a great job of keep AJ Green in check. But when you can’t put points on the board, and fumble on an early possession that could’ve changed the game, you will lose (I’m getting tired of writing that and it’s only been two weeks). Now let’s fast forward to week 3’s matchup:  The Chicago Bears.

The Bears come to Heinz Field with a nice little 2-0 record beating the likes of the Bengals...











and the Vikings. Along with the Bears comes Jay Cutler; the guy otherwise known as an emotionless, aloof dick-bag whose teammates aren’t exactly fond of…but he does have a cannon. I mean he can absolutely flat out rifle a football. He’s also highly efficient at rifling the football into the hands of the opposing defense. Mr. Cutler has thrown 103 interceptions and fumbled 59 times over his professional career. That means he’s turning the ball over 1.44 times per game since he’s been in the league. This leads me to this week’s stat:  Turnover plus/minus. I know this isn’t a newly developed advanced stat, but much like music...
      
it’s nice to revisit the classics from time to time. And I could also come up with a fancy turnover statistic to make it more aggravating, but I don’t have the time to do that; so basically sometimes you’ll get a run of the mill stat. It is also a stat that hits you in the face when you look at the Steelers in recent times. In 2012 the Steelers were a minus 10 in the turnover battle. In 2013 they are a solid minus 4. As a matter of fact, the Steelers Defense has yet to create a turnover this year…WTF?!  You know what this all means?  It means the Steelers are better at being the baby rather than taking the candy.
     
So if the Steelers can’t get a turnover off of a guy who’s carved out a nice little career in doing so, they’re this...











Now if I didn’t already make you mad enough, this guy...











also happens to be 2-0 vs the Steelers. He’s completed 73% of his passes against the Steelers and also has thrown for 5 TDs in these two wins. He also has a 105.6 QB rating. Yeah...this kinda sucks and it also means there is a very real possibility that the Steelers could be 0-3 after this week.

Where’s the bright side? Well Sack Man Jones has played well thus far, and Ike Taylor looked good against one of the NFL’s truly elite receivers. Ben looks good when he has time, but much like Lindsay Lohan’s sobriety, Ben rarely has it.  That’s it; that’s all I have in terms of optimism. Before I sign off, I’ll leave you with a positive thought:  These guys are releasing their latest album on October 29th.
      
Much better showing musically from Timothy this week.

Almost there, you guys.

Domski's Dinosaur Corner:






















So, Velociraptor it is...










And my personal favorite snack food - Pickles, but on a hot dog because Chicago is cray...











Now, the final countdown

Miscellaneous:

1) Smokin' Jay Cutler















I'm always last to the party.

2) Getting through these things with  the Steelers in their current state...
      
Shit's rough nowadays.

3) Bears...

Jay Cutler is a power bottom.

4) Other Notable Bears...
      
Consider Lamarr Woodley the Bear Jew and Jay Cutler the Nazi.

5) 10 years of magnificent locks are getting clipped this November... 
      
At least it's for a good cause.

So, look, arguably we're lucky enough to once again be given a national audience in front of which to redeem ourselves.

Beat the Bears and "shock the world".























Let's get it.

      
Here we go.

If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, and follow Cotter on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

The Island Has Moved...

Check it out - the new OFTOT.

Your Daily Dose of "WTF?"...

The internet is an amazing place.

Not only can you find a site catering to just about any interest, but it has now become such a pervasive medium that athletes and celebrities are regularly leveraging it's awesome power in ways that are usually more or less brilliant revenue generators.

And here I am blogging for free.

What can you do?

Anyways, yesterday the internets were quite a boon for me, as a lowly Steelers blogger.

So as a result, I have several interesting tidbits to share with you this morning...beginning with Jeff Reed...because, why not?

ITEM #1...
If you want a glimpse of the Super Bowl XLIII ring up close, check out Jeff Reed on Fox Charlotte's "Got Game" segment. This is the same segment in which he relates that when the Steelers went to the White House to meet Obama, he forgot he was a team captain...which should surprise no one.

And if you just can't get enough of Jeff Reed, and I know you can't, in clip 2 he talks about watching the Pens win the cup, the pressure of being an NFL kicker, and he reveals his stylish new haircut.

Thankfully for everyone at Fox Charlotte, it appears their bathroom was chock full of paper towels.

Otherwise, shit could've gotten real ugly.

Moving on...

ITEM #2...
Earlier in the week, thanks to The Pensblog, I thought I had found a new ringtone...

I'd give you the High Quality version of that, but we all know it doesn't exist.

But that was until Mikey from the Kiss 96.1 Freakshow alerted me to this set of magical ringtones from Super Bowl MVP and erstwhile "Pussy Monsta," Santonio Holmes.

Big PM has given us eight fantastic tones to choose from - including such gems as - "Gotta Score This Touchdown," "Hey Yo Homeboy," and "You Screening Your Calls Now?"

Conspicuously missing were "Because I Got High," "Smoke Two Joints," and "I Saw The Sign."

I'd say something else about this, but honestly, they're ringtones...I've got nothing.

ITEM #3...

Chuck Norris ain't got shit on Samurai Big Ben.

Also, notice the lack of helmet, there.

.../I'm a terrible Steelers fan

And lastly...

If OFTOT looked like this for you at any point yesterday, I apologize. I've mentioned blogger/blogspot's shortcomings before, but never has anything quite like the entire site showing up in italics happened.

...I'm so happy to be finally getting off this shithole.

Which reminds me - I'll be [tentatively] unveiling the "new" OFTOT tomorrow for Meeting People Is Easy. But, since I make it a point never to be like Anthony Smith, I can't guarantee that.

Until then, email me if you want in on MPIE, OR if you'd like to contribute to the "Cotter is broker than the City of Detroit and writes this thing for free" fund.

Yes, I do accept payment in mint milano cookies.

I can haz eight hours of sleep?

...not likely

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Someone's Got A Staph Infection In The Brain...

I mean, that's really the only reasonable explanation for this nonsense below.

Stop me if you've heard this one...

"Pittsburgh was the worst franchise in the NFL until it hired Cleveland-born Chuck Noll as its coach. He led the Steelers to four of their first six Super Bowl championships. Keying Noll's indomitable defense was Hall of Famer Jack Lambert, a graduate of Crestwood High in Portage County and Kent State, and considered by some as the best linebacker ever.

Former Browns linebacker and assistant coach Bill Cowher led Pittsburgh to its fifth Super Bowl win. Cowher, despite his accomplishments, wasn't good enough to be head coach for the Browns. Don't believe it? Former Browns owner Art Modell chose Bill Belichick over Cowher as Cleveland's new coach in 1991. Proving that the Browns' decision-makers have always known what's best, Belichick has coached three Super Bowl championship teams.

Cotter Sidenote: Let the record show that Belichode won all three of those championships with the Patriots, that he only posted ONE winning season with the Browns, and to boot, that he was head coach of the Browns when they packed up their bags and moved to AIDS city, I mean Baltimore, in 1996 (where he was not retained).

Meanwhile, all Cowher did while Beliturd was Browns head coach was post four consecutive winning seasons (with four playoff trips), and take the Steelers to the Super Bowl in '96 - the same year that the Browns had to close up shop in Cle-heave-land (of course we all know how that worked out for Cowher, and we won't mention it either).

But, hey, that was probably all just luck.

In fact, one might say that the best move the Browns ever made was the one they made to Baltimore...where within the 1st five years, they won a Super Bowl...something they hadn't been able to do in any of the prior 30 years when they were in Cleveland (while the Super Bowl existed, of course).

Anyways...

Who's the reigning NFL defensive Player of the Year, and a linebacker on Pittsburgh's last two world champion teams? Akron's James Harrison, another former Kent State star.

What would the Steelers have been without such guys? And, all of their championships have been won since NFL games became more a dance than a brawl. After all, it was Lambert himself who famously said, "Quarterbacks should wear dresses," after he was reprimanded by the league for hitting a quarterback too hard. The Browns won all four of their titles when the game wasn't supervised like a croquet match.

We think Ron has really Cooked the books on this one. Cleveland has it all over Pittsburgh culturally, anyway. Do you know that Pittsburgh is so lacking in creative thinking that its football team was named the Pirates from 1933-40 (when it went 24-62-5, by the way)?

- Mike Pettica, Cleveland Plain-Dealer

Wait, is he trying to say that Cleveland is somehow responsible for the Steelers successes?

Uh, either way...does anyone even care at this point?

I sure don't.

Though, I did find it kind of funny that even his own Cleveland commenters provided zero support.

Here's just a taste...






I'd go ahead and rip on the sack of canine excrement that wrote this garbage, but I trust that Vern will take care of that one for me. In fact, rumor has it that when he returns from sunny SoCal he may do just that.

That is, if he makes it back from SoCal.

Until then, Cleveland...

I think that about says it all. Don't you?

Now, if you'd like something to really entertain you, might I suggest this post, which is right below, but I'm going to link to it anyway, because that's just easier for you, so much easier than reading this sentence, with it's 1000 commas, and no actual ending...

Proper English is for real writers. Eat me.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Tupac Who...

"I knit sweaters, yo."

Knitting.

It's what's going on in the streets, son.

If you didn't know that, you need to get your head out of your ass.

...I mean, I don't know what's funnier - Taylor Swift rapping, T Pain's general appearance or the fact that I thought Taylor Swift wasn't half bad.

I'll leave that one up to you all.

h/t to my boy Mikey at the Kiss 96.1 Morning Freakshow!

The Steelers? They're probably doing something. But I can guarantee it isn't as funny or as interesting as this. It's the offseason. Deal with it.

PS - Happy Birthday, Tupac! You are still missed.

2nd h/t to my buddy Andy from The Arena for the 'pac tip!

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Headline of the Day...

Let's be honest, as a contributing member of the Pittsburgh sports blogosphere, I'd be remiss if I didn't send the Pens a big time congratulations for taking Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final on Friday, thus securing their first cup in 17 years!

The Pens run up to, and through the NHL playoffs was not altogether that dissimilar from the Steelers run up to and through the NFL playoffs en route to Super Bowl XL. But what the Pens did was really incredible. A month out of the playoffs, no one thought they'd even get in. Their record certainly suggested that, and they had recently supplanted the veteran HCMT with noob HCDB, who himself was only several years removed from being a player. And yet, just a few months later, they now stand as league champions!

I'm sure they were all waiting for this post to really feel accomplished about it, too...

Anyways, besides the fact that at this time of year, there's more going on in your garden than there is in the world of sports, yesterday's lack of posting was mostly my acknowledgment that even if anyone read this blog in the first place, no one would have cared what I had to say yesterday - a fact to which the 375,000 people attending yesterday's victory parade certainly gave credence.

As for Game 7, I spent it in good company - with Tec (whom you can see right at the beginning of the video below) and Christmas Ape (whom it was great to finally meet in person!) - at Foley's, the Penguins bar here in Manhattan. Here are a couple of highlights (because I know you care)...




It was a great game to watch, albeit a nerve racking one. But in the end, the Pens had an answer for almost everything the Wings tried to throw at them. Go rewatch even the first period and count how many times the Pens shut the door on the Wings. They played with conviction and fire - this year, they weren't going to be denied. And in the end, that intensity and discipline brought them something they'll never forget.

Congrats, Pens! This post's for you!

And for no particular reason, here's a bonus photoshop of HCDB wielding a lightsaber...


Now, here are a bunch of links to keep all of YOU occupied until I can get my act together...

Mitch Berger doing his best Jeff Reed impression [Deadspin]

Big Ben shot an 81 at Bethpage, with ROCCO MEDIATE as his caddy! Also, Ben > Tony Homo, Michael Jordan and Justin Timberjoke [Post-Gazette]

NFL franchises certainly shouldn't need a rule telling them to interview minority candidates for front office positions, but if that's what it takes, then kudos to the league for extending the Rooney Rule [AP]

The Arizona Cardinals Ben Patrick has been suspended for four games for Adderall...First, Go Blue Hens! Second, this is further proof that I wouldn't last a day in the NFL [AP]

You think you're a Pens fan - well then, pop quiz... [Sean's Ramblings]

As the Legend puts it, now we wait... [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

A note on fandom [WHYGAVS]

Words cannot properly describe how hilarious this song about trading Nate McLouth is...and yet, it's not as funny as the fact that some guy actually wrote a song about trading Nate McLouth (PS - many of you may have already seen this) [Walkoff Walk]

The Pirates old school uniforms - coming in at a respectable #7 on this list of the ugliest uniforms of all time...Sidenote: there's no way you can rank the Bucs unis higher than Syracuse football jerseys and old school Padres unis...there just isn't [Moondog Sports]

If you haven't seen it, be sure to check out Artie Lange on Joe Buck...Joe Buck = Stunned [Sports Crackle Pop]

Two solid old school WWF videos...Somewhere today, Koko B. Ware is thanking Deuce of Davenport for reminding people that he once existed (no word on whether he still exists) [Deuce of Davenport]

Even liquor stores can be clever marketers, I guess [FAIL Blog]

New week, new beat from Maticulous! [Maticulous Music]

PSA for Tuesday: Be patient with old people driving...sooner or later, that'll be you [Grumpy Old Dog]

Now, on a completely unrelated note - I don't know if it's just because it's the offseason or what, but for the last several weeks, I've really felt off of my game. Every time I go to write a post, it's like each sentence is a struggle to overcome some kind of mental block. And while, frankly, my writing was never going to win a Pulitzer or anything, it's definitely seen better days.

Usually this happens when I'm manufacturing posts or when I haven't been writing as much. Maybe right now it's a combination of the two. Either way, if you've read this site for more than just these last several weeks, you'll remember that at some point, it won't completely suck anymore (maybe).

Anyways, I just felt like that needed to be said.

Thank you all for sticking with me in this time of emotional distress. Your allegiance will not be forgotten.

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Meeting People Is Easy...

So, every week I do this whole intro thing, in which I say a bunch of stuff that doesn't matter. And really it's mostly just filler.

I mean, if there are new panelists, it makes sense to introduce them, because, you know, maybe you're not as familiar with their work as you are with that of the MPIE regulars. But when it's just the All-Star cast, I think that work's already been done several times over.

Anyways, as you will see, this week's panel is...
1. Neena
2. Tiny350z
3. Marc
4. Vern
5. Lori
6. John Woods
7. Grumpy
8. Steve
9. Ladi Izz
10. laclips
11. Doug
12. Nate
13. Matt
14. Sean
15. Noah
16. Hey, what's up?

Once it gets up over like 14, I feel like I should split it into two different photoshops. But when I was doing this at 1AM last night, I didn't quite have the good judgment or the foresight to realize that. Actually, I didn't even realize until just now that there were 16 people on this week's panel.

Clearly I'm well aware of life...

In any case, I've written my filler, introduced the panel, and made jokes at my own expense, which means now you should just read the actual questions and answers.

I dare you to salvage more than 10% of your brain cells by the time you're done.

Oh yeah, and Lori sent me this video that goes with her Favorite Song of the Moment...


And...GO!

Click to enlarge...

Now, just for the hell of it, since I got my hands on some pictures from the Steelers workouts...


Ziggy Hood is all business.


"You see, Bruce. That's how you take down a motherf*#@er."


As usual, Jeff Reed took this shit real seriously...where did he even find a construction helmet? ...let's hope in Ben's locker. HEYO!


Pictures of everybody wearing helmets except Ben.

And finally...

GO PENS!!

See you at Foley's for Game 7!

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Headline of the Day...

Anyone who's been hitting the pavement, searching for a new gig in the last oh, I'd say nine months or so, knows what this ad is talking about (you probably wanna click to enlarge that bad boy).

What a state of affairs right now.

I'm not pretending to have the answer.

But if I had a dollar for every time I saw an ad offering something like $12/hr for a full time, non-entry level, professional position, I'd probably be able to single-handedly stimulate this economy back into being the well oiled machine it ought to be.

Put it this way, when employers have to explicitly say "with benefits" in a classified ad, you know there's a problem.

Anyways, totally not Steelers related at all.

What can you do?

Oh well, let these links atone for my Steelers blogging sin...

China Jack is a good man. And thorough. His latest toast is NOT to be missed... [PSaMP]

You think YOU know how to handle pressure? Read this, about Willie Gay [Post-Gazette]

Mike Wallace says he's the fastest guy on the team...a claim to which you have to give credence when a guy runs a 4.33 40 [Beaver County Times]

Solid NY Times piece on the Steelers SB XLIII rings (which yielded the images below this list of links) [NY Times]

Drew Brees doesn't puke when he drinks. He pukes when he doesn't drink [The Sports Hernia]

NFL moving in the right direction - starts spinal treatment program for retired players [AP]

Pens fans - Remember 1909 [The Pensblog]

I've been totally neglect in my duty to point out Lori's contest to counteract the Red Wings douchey video contest. There may not be time for more entries, but at least you can still laugh at Vern's videos [HFSS]

Hey baby, my name is Geno and I'm good with a stick... [Deadspin]

If you wanna know whether Raul Ibanez is clean, just take a look at his stool [Tirico Suave]

A breath of fresh air from Steve...and Bip Roberts??? [Steve Is Alive]

The Amish go west, like Fievel... [Grumpy Old Dog]

How Marco Polo makes beats...listen up... [Maticulous Music]

Sean...er, I mean Sean's friend, tries to get a kid's meal without having a kid [Sean's Ramblings]

Tiny's "great adventure" to Denver... [Cheese People]

Disc 2 of Radiohead's "In Rainbows" now available in digital form [Radiohead At Ease]

Tiny350z with the Best Song to Sing in Your Car! I hear her selection is Tec's favorite too.. [Sheena Beaston]

Blink doing "Dammit" and "What's My Age Again" on Kimmel [Punk News]

Download the entire Finch EP for FREE! [Finch]

Now, that's what I call good branding [FAIL Blog]

Speaking of FAIL Blog, THIS is Jon Gosselin's "mistress?" [The Superficial]

Now that my Google Reader is finally clean (for the next five minutes, that is), here are those pretty pictures I promised...

What a coincidence, that's also how they measure my manhood!


You're missing a couple, there.


If you had any doubts that two rings would get you lei'd, eliminate them. Awful pun. Whatevs.

Lastly, because Matt reminded me of this classic...
<br/><a href="http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?vid=9db33a62-913c-4511-a026-372062f866b9" target="_new" title="Will Ferrell is Robert Goule">Video: Will Ferrell is Robert Goule</a>
Will Ferrel is on another plane.

PS - Meeting People Is Easy is going to happen again tomorrow. If you weren't part of the email I sent out, but want to be on the panel, drop me a line and let a brotha know - onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com.

PPS - Scrotum. Good word.

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